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View Full Version : News Chinese ‘paranormalist’ arrested for exorcising a ‘haunted vagina’ with his penis


gblowfish
09-13-2013, 08:33 AM
Yes, that's the actual headline on this story!

http://tinyurl.com/pw7mpzn

A man who claimed he could could use his penis to rid a woman of ghosts that had taken up residence in her vagina, was arrested in China after performing the “sexorcism” for which he charged $3,000.

Huang Jianjun was arrested in the Guangdong Province after he convinced A Xin that he could remove evil spirits from her vagina by having sexual intercourse. A day later, Xin reported the incident to the police, and Jianjun was promptly arrested.

The victim allegedly came to the self-styled “ghost hunter” because she needed help seducing her boss who she had a crush on.

Xin, an employee of a spice shop was so infatuated with her boss that she sought Jianjun’s help to seduce her employer. Jianjun said could help the two fall in love by performing an exorcism.

The pair allegedly met in a hotel room where Xin was asked strip naked. Jianjun then convinced Xin that he needed to have sex with her and that it was the only way to get rid of the evil spirits. He caimed his dick would banish the vaginal squatters who were preventing Xin and her boss from falling in love.

Jianjun insists that he never had sex with the Xin and that he can’t get an erection due to diabetes. He is currently in jail awaiting trial in Guangzhou.
Meanwhile, another charlatan – this one in India – has offered a similar defense.

“Godman” Asaram Bapu, 73, revered by millions across India for his sermons on “enlightenment”, has been charged with raping a 16-year-old schoolgirl at one of his ashrams in August.

Bapu has denied the sexual assault allegations levelled by the teenage girl and her parents, all devotees of the guru.

The elderly preacher also claimed he is physically incapable of rape but police say medical tests show him to be in good shape.

Said Ajayal Lamba, Deputy Commissioner of Police in Jodhpur:
The team of doctors is saying he is perfectly, medically, mentally and physically fit.

Bapu is currently languishing in jail awaiting trial after a court rejected his bail plea The prosecution plans to present a detailed dossier of the charges in the trial soon, he said.

The case took a weird twist when a fellow “Godman” and a keen follower of Bapu, castrated himself. At this stage, according to the authorities, his motive so doing so is unclear.

Baba Premdas, 60, was found bleeding from self-inflicted wounds at his home in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. He was admitted to a local hospital and then taken to a bigger health facility for surgery where his condition “is stable”.

kepp
09-13-2013, 08:35 AM
Brilliant!

Imon Yourside
09-13-2013, 08:38 AM
In before the "That never worked for me" stories ensue.

ptlyon
09-13-2013, 08:41 AM
That's the way I'd do it

Hammock Parties
09-13-2013, 08:42 AM
Geno?

FlaChief58
09-13-2013, 08:49 AM
Brilliant little fucker

Beef Supreme
09-13-2013, 08:52 AM
Wait. She paid him $3 grand to do this, then claimed rape?

ptlyon
09-13-2013, 08:54 AM
Wait. She paid him $3 grand to do this, then claimed rape?

It's not rape if you pay for it

Mike in SW-MO
09-13-2013, 09:06 AM
Did he successfully exOrcise the vagina?

Or did he just exErcise it?

ptlyon
09-13-2013, 09:07 AM
Did he successfully exOrcise the vagina?

Or did he just exErcise it?

He fucked it

Rain Man
09-13-2013, 09:20 AM
I think the only way this works is to find an incredibly stupid woman.

big nasty kcnut
09-13-2013, 09:21 AM
The devil in his pant made him do it.
Posted via Mobile Device

jerryforeverrice80
09-13-2013, 09:43 AM
I'm in the wrong line of work.

Rausch
09-13-2013, 09:45 AM
I think the only way this works is to find an incredibly stupid woman.

*Rausch runs out the door en route to the nearest Kohls*

Graystoke
09-13-2013, 10:05 AM
*Rausch runs out the door en route to the nearest Kohls*

Kohls you say huh?

bevischief
09-13-2013, 10:29 AM
*Rausch runs out the door en route to the nearest Kohls*

:)

mike_b_284
09-13-2013, 11:09 AM
I'm in the wrong line of work.

The WONG line..LMAO

BlackHelicopters
09-13-2013, 11:46 AM
I thought we were supposed to say "surprise sex"?

FlaChief58
09-13-2013, 11:49 AM
I thought we were supposed to say "surprise sex"?

LMAO

Mr. Flopnuts
09-13-2013, 11:56 AM
There is Sum Ting Wong with this girl to A Lau Cok inside her. However, the guy himself? He's full of Nguyen.

TimeForWasp
09-13-2013, 12:00 PM
She is just pissed because it's still haunted.

Cephalic Trauma
09-13-2013, 12:16 PM
The devil in his pant made him do it.
Posted via Mobile Device

wtf?

Bigger story: Big nasty made a post without any spelling/grammar errors.

ptlyon
09-13-2013, 12:19 PM
The WONG line..LMAO

Don't you mean WANG line?

Lex Luthor
09-13-2013, 12:19 PM
wtf?

Bigger story: Big nasty made a post without any spelling/grammar errors.

Not quite. Read it again.

BlackHelicopters
09-13-2013, 12:53 PM
If any of you try this line and it works, please let us all know. With pics....

Jakemall
09-13-2013, 01:12 PM
I wonder if that line will work at a bar.

Excuse me miss, there's a ghost in your pussy that needs to get exercised..err Exorcised.

"oh my gosh, what should I do?"

I'm your huckleberry.

DJJasonp
09-13-2013, 01:28 PM
The part of the story that was left out.....

the man's "powers" were brought into question when a male acquaintance requested his assistance with ridding his anus of the devil. said the man, " uhhmmmm........not sure I'm fully trained......ummmmm...."

Cephalic Trauma
09-13-2013, 01:36 PM
Not quite. Read it again.

Shit, you're right.

J Diddy
09-13-2013, 02:00 PM
Wait. She paid him $3 grand to do this, then claimed rape?

Maybe the dollar figure was the rape part.

crazycoffey
09-13-2013, 02:24 PM
Pics?

Cephalic Trauma
09-13-2013, 02:47 PM
This bitch is stupid.

Not because she paid him to get the ghosts out, but because she thought he had the equipment to do it.

Everyone knows ghosts hide deeper than 3 inches.

Psyko Tek
09-13-2013, 08:49 PM
wtf?

Bigger story: Big nasty made a post without any spelling/grammar errors.
FAIL

pant is correct?

GloryDayz
09-13-2013, 08:56 PM
And if she has hemorrhoids?

Cephalic Trauma
09-13-2013, 09:03 PM
FAIL

pant is correct?

Read it too quickly.:)

On an unrelated note, I hope veags favors the chuefs this weeekend!

Tombstone RJ
09-13-2013, 09:20 PM
sure she paid him $3k to be raped? Dude must have a shovel in his pants.

Sorter
09-13-2013, 09:23 PM
http://cdn.niketalk.com/c/c7/c747d064_tumblr_lzhlrfTcyi1qzswpl.gif

dred
09-13-2013, 09:52 PM
She really got fucked on that deal.

crossbow
09-13-2013, 09:56 PM
Are these "talking" demons in her pussy? If so then, does she have an agent yet?

CrazyPhuD
09-13-2013, 11:01 PM
I wonder if her first thought when he was done was....'what a dick'

GloryDayz
09-14-2013, 06:23 AM
One pussy fart and the next thing you know you're in some small-town Chinese kangaroo court. Nice!

whoman69
09-14-2013, 07:09 AM
How else you going to tame the pussy?

bevischief
09-14-2013, 08:19 AM
Knock up by crazy.

J Diddy
09-14-2013, 08:41 AM
How else you going to tame the pussy?

I use a bullwhip myself.