-- Who else is constipated?

[Simply Red]

Real life issues this morning.

Lots of repercussions from the beef and jalapeno nachos (Los Bravos) enjoyed after my shopping venture, last night.

Lower cramping, burning anus 'incomplete' shits.

This is bullshit I don't need - on the day that I love to eat.


Who else is constipated today?

[Sorter]

Interesting. I'd have wagered that that particular food selection would give you completely different results.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

I envy my clean break streak a month or so ago. These dumps lately have been pathetic.

[Sorter]

Of course, if you'd just gone to Dorsia, we wouldn't be having this conversation.


You stupid fucking bastard. :)

[Bugeater]

My bowels are actually a bit loose today, thank you.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Very frustrating morning. I've got the opium shits. You know? None at all. :(

[RealSNR]

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/11/00/82/0004110082071_500X500.jpg

This shit is gentle and it actually works.

[Simply Red]

Interesting. I'd have wagered that that particular food selection would give you completely different results.

It was a horrible gamble. I'm screwed all day now. :( I think I'll not **** with anything outside of white meat turkey and water today.

[Simply Red]

Of course, if you'd just gone to Dorsia, we wouldn't be having this conversation.


You stupid ****ing bastard. :)



Great sea urchin ceviche.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Turbolax

[CoMoChief]

Whenever I have lower cramping it usually means something is about to explode out of my ass and I have to find a bathroom pronto tanto.

Haven't been feeling well lately, had exploding diarrhea shits all of Thurs night. Spent most of the night on the toilet.

[Sorter]

It was a horrible gamble. I'm screwed all day now. :( I think I'll not **** with anything outside of white meat turkey and water today.

Great sea urchin ceviche.

LMAO

[Simply Red]

You know? None at all. :(


http://i44.tinypic.com/2vtz8t5.gif

[Simply Red]

this really sucks.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Know the feeling, but still gonna pig the fuck out....then diet time!!

[TribalElder]

http://i.imgur.com/8xwhpFJ.gif

[Simply Red]

well here's the thing, there is Mexico literally four blocks from me - it's like walking the streets of Mazatlan. I've witnessed a Mexican wedding on a mound of dirt, I'm dead serious.

But here's the other thing - there are a lot of jalapeno distributors here, locally in Atlanta, namely Norcross. These local companies pickle the shit out of their peppers - to where they actually swell up. I like a more tight pepper w/ a pop when you eat it, these were seemingly soaked forever in the pickling solution. They were jap slices on steroids. They seem to be harder to pass & burn, which is exactly opposite of what I'd expect to happen w/ a swollen pepper.

[RealSNR]

Don't strain and get a hemorrhoid. That's even worse.

[Simply Red]

things seem to be calming down.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Pig out and then blast those lil fuckers out!! May burn, but the feast shall be worth it.

[Simply Red]

Pig out and then blast those lil ****ers out!! May burn, but the feast shall be worth it.

I am going after some sort of fiber today, a clean break by Sunday would be preferred.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

I am going after some sort of fiber today, a clean break by Sunday would be preferred.

I have been working out like a madman in prep for this feast. Nothing is gonna stop me now!

[Mr. Flopnuts]

http://i44.tinypic.com/2vtz8t5.gif

This is really a perfect description of how I've felt for the last 2 days. At my size, it's not fucking natural to go 3 days without a BM.

[Simply Red]

This is really a perfect description of how I've felt for the last 2 days. At my size, it's not ****ing natural to go 3 days without a BM.

You need to buy a box of Shredded wheat, and get real stoned - get the munchies, then eat a couple of bowls of it. I'm telling you. You can't substitute for that army of wheat sourced fiber.

[Otter]

You need to buy a box of Shredded wheat, and get real stoned - get the munchies, then eat a couple of bowls of it. I'm telling you. You can't substitute for that army of wheat sourced fiber.

:hmmm:

[Warrior5]

You need to buy a box of Shredded wheat, and get real stoned - get the munchies, then eat a couple of bowls of it. I'm telling you. You can't substitute for that army of wheat sourced fiber.

Colon blow will clean you out in a hurry.

[Cheater5]

Go to drug store. Buy COLACE. Take three or four 100mg pills with a cup of coffee. Simmer while watching football. You will shortly achieve relief...

[Simply Red]

Go to drug store. Buy COLACE. Take three or four 100mg pills with a cup of coffee. Simmer while watching football. You will shortly achieve relief...

I may try that - Honestly though - if a person goes through a box of frosted mini wheat's, there is no denying the soon ensuing poo.

[Simply Red]

I'd say w/in 15 hours, so yes it takes some time.

[Simply Red]

I'm watching 'Ray' the movie, my ass burns, and I can't stop pissing from the extra coffee I've enjoyed today.

[rocknrolla]

My crazy pills make me constipated. Not to the severity of yours. Only poo a few pebbles every couple of days. Hope yours gets better.

[Dayze]

I've never taken a laxative; is it brutal?

[Pepe Silvia]

Real life issues this morning.

Lot's of repercussions from the beef and jalapeno nachos (Los Bravos) enjoyed after my shopping venture, last night.

Lower cramping, burning anus 'incomplete' shits.

This is bullshit I don't need - on the day that I love to eat.


Who else is constipated today?

Wow, that sounds good, except for the ass bleeding part.

[Rausch]

I'm watching 'Ray' the movie, my ass burns, and I can't stop pissing from the extra coffee I've enjoyed today.

That's not constipation - that's the piss-$3its. It's butt-puking.

You've eaten more hot than your colon can tolerate. It'll keep flushing any solid or liquid until you down some liquid pepto and aspirin.

[Bowser]

Real life issues this morning.

Lot's of repercussions from the beef and jalapeno nachos (Los Bravos) enjoyed after my shopping venture, last night.

Lower cramping, burning anus 'incomplete' shits.

This is bullshit I don't need - on the day that I love to eat.


Who else is constipated today?

This just calls for MOAR GRAVIES on the poh-tay-toes.

[Bowser]

No but seriously, prayers sent.

[Rausch]

No but seriously, prayers sent.

Did SR have more than 0.25 inches of chocolate rain?...

[Bowser]

Did SR have more than 0.25 inches of chocolate rain?...

I'm not going Johnny on the Spot to check it out, that's for sure.

[Cheater5]

I've never taken a laxative; is it brutal?

Since we're on the subject...

I took a laxative and the following morning had to give myself an enema prior to having surgery on my hemmorhoids. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much crap is in the human body- it just kept shooting out. I would guess over two pounds, and I've never had my guts feel like that before.

[Tribal Warfare]

wrong prefix qualifier

[Rausch]

I'm not going Johnny on the Spot to check it out, that's for sure.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/MAK_P65YgnI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/EwTZ2xpQwpA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[cdcox]

Feels like the flu today.

Super tired, body aching, crud in my lungs and sinus.

[Hammock Parties]

I feel great!

[MOhillbilly]

Coffee and nicotine

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I've got some chronic right now that smells like homesick. It's so fucking money. Munchies, shredded wheat, blown up toilet. It sounds like heaven right now!

[CrazyPhuD]

Like we're supposed to give a shit??? :p

Coffee and nicotine

Or a few lines of coke or some meth! Get a bunch of stimulants in you and it will stimulate you anus to turn into Niagara Falls! ;)

[bevischief]

A 12 pack of bud light should fix you.

[TLO]

Feast at noon.

Giant poop at 4:30.

Like clockwork bitches.

[jerryforeverrice80]

he's just full of shit today.



Happy thanksgiving guys.

[Mrs. Loopner]

If all else fails, you must push it, push it real hard!

[Simply Red]

I've got some chronic right now that smells like homesick. It's so ****ing money. Munchies, shredded wheat, blown up toilet. It sounds like heaven right now!

I can't wait until you have your first mini wheat thin poop.

You wind up pooping poop you never knew you had.

[Bugeater]

Just got up from a nap and I can feel a huge turkey dinner dump coming on. Gonna head to QT for a large coffee to get this party started.

[Munson]

I took 3 dumps earlier today, all within an hour and a half.

That turkey bulldozed its way through my colon.

[Simply Red]

Just got up from a nap and I can feel a huge turkey dinner dump coming on. Gonna head to QT for a large coffee to get this party started.

Let us know, bud.

[Bugeater]

Coffee is flowing, and things are a-brewing...this is going to be grand.

[Bowser]

I would NOT want to smell the inside of Bugeater's car at this moment.

[Bugeater]

I would NOT want to smell the inside of Bugeater's car at this moment.
I took the wife's car. LMAO


(Please don't tell her)

[booger]

Ate too much. I got to shit. I know I do butt my butthole told me to fuck off cause it wants to nap first

[Simply Red]

I didn't even eat that much - yet I feel I'm still in a food-coma.

[Bugeater]

Gonna try to do the deed at halftime of the game.

[Simply Red]

Gonna try to do the deed at halftime of the game.

stay calm and let it rip bud, you've earned it and definitely took a turn in your own favor w/ that coffee, great closing work.

[Simply Red]

Take it on home bud.

[Bugeater]

Well it wasn't quite the epic event I was hoping for, but satisfying nonetheless. I probably should've went with the 24oz coffee instead.

[Bowser]

Well it wasn't quite the epic event I was hoping for, but satisfying nonetheless. I probably should've went with the 24oz coffee instead.

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-31310-thats-wonderful-gif-Andre-the-54aK.gif

[T-post Tom]

Of course, if you'd just gone to Dorsia, we wouldn't be having this conversation.


You stupid ****ing bastard. :)

Huey Lewis calls filter evasion.

[RINGLEADER]

I was until about 10 minutes ago...

[BWillie]

Got on my depends. Ain't no thing. Prepared for the green apple splatters when it happens

[TLO]

Just took my second dump of the day.

Feels good man.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I expect greatness within the half hour. I feel the percolation deep within the mine shaft, and I'm drinking a concentrated Keurig cup of Tully's Italian Roast, with a can of White Chocolate Starbucks energy drink.

That's bound to light the match...

[Bugeater]

I'm working on round 2 of Operation Turkey Drop.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I expect greatness within the half hour. I feel the percolation deep within the mine shaft, and I'm drinking a concentrated Keurig cup of Tully's Italian Roast, with a can of White Chocolate Starbucks energy drink.

That's bound to light the match...

This sucks. An hour from now I'll be giving a presentation and the option of releasing the hounds will not be available. I need to make a push...

[ChiTown]

I've been bound up for nearly 3 fucking days. I'm going to need an episiotomy-like surgical procedure done on my ass to give birth to this mass.

[Simply Red]

something is coming on. I'm not sure the solidity of it, yet.

I've got a big ass cup of Starbucks Italian roast.

[Red Beans]

Ate the spread at 2:00pm yesterday, followed up with a stoner leftover extravaganza at 9:30pm last night. I am currently engaged in my first post Thanksgiving poop. So far, C-. I am disappointed.

[mlyonsd]

Take a hard straight shot of whiskey or bourbon. I'm not guaranteeing it will work but you won't be disappointed you tried.

[Simply Red]

Ate the spread at 2:00pm yesterday, followed up with a stoner leftover extravaganza at 9:30pm last night. I am currently engaged in my first post Thanksgiving poop. So far, C-. I am disappointed.

I had a stoner leftover extravaganza as well. I kept it pretty light, but never the less it's more weight to push the poo through.

I'm thinking this upcoming session will deliver, It's one of those cases where: yeah, sure I could go right now - but I'm waiting it out for optimum results.

[Munson]

Phillips Milk of Magnesia.

Guaranteed to empty your colon.

[gblowfish]

Major fail. This should be a poop thread.

[bevischief]

Didn't poop yesterday but had a nice one this morning.

[Simply Red]

Major fail. This should be a poop thread.

You know it's funny - I thought that through, even.

I just feel when it's tagged 'Life' - it seems so serious. So I think it's funnier, as a result. But I find stupid, obscure stuff funny, I don't expect everyone else to though, I suppose.

[seclark]

if needed, drop a bar of exlax in the coffee grounds when brewing a fresh pot. tastes like something from starbucks.

huh...that slice of pecan pie looks just like it did on my plate yesterday.
sec

[Simply Red]

I'm getting ready to go in.

[Simply Red]

if needed, drop a bar of exlax in the coffee grounds when brewing a fresh pot. tastes like something from starbucks.

huh...that slice of pecan pie looks just like it did on my plate yesterday.
sec



http://i.imgur.com/7RrFkEp.gif

[Simply Red]

waiting it out really paid dividends.

It was a floating variety, corn throughout.

I feel relief like I've not felt in days. Virtual clean breaker w/ the one-wipe dream.

I did have some residual burning from the jalapenos finally ENTIRELY exiting.

[BlackHelicopters]

I'm a little backed up.

[Fairplay]

waiting it out really paid dividends.

It was a floating variety, corn throughout.

I feel relief like I've not felt in days. Virtual clean breaker w/ the one-wipe dream.

I did have some residual burning from the jalapenos finally ENTIRELY exiting.

http://i.imgur.com/a8Z6kWN.gif

[TLO]

waiting it out really paid dividends.

It was a floating variety, corn throughout.

I feel relief like I've not felt in days. Virtual clean breaker w/ the one-wipe dream.

I did have some residual burning from the jalapenos finally ENTIRELY exiting.

:usa:

[bevischief]

Had a nice 10 minute one a few minutes ago.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Coming out of both ends today

[Simply Red]

bought some blueberry frosted mini wheats, I just completed a colon emptying crap.

This is going to be a great Saturday, rain or shine!

[FlaChief58]

Not sure why, but I've just completed my 3rd trip today. I feel like I've lost 10 pounds

[Simply Red]

Not sure why, but I've just completed my 3rd trip today. I feel like I've lost 10 pounds

coffee, maybe?

but congrats bud!!!!!!!!

[BlackHelicopters]

Not sure why, but I've just completed my 3rd trip today. I feel like I've lost 10 pounds

What's your secret?

[FlaChief58]

What's your secret?

When the turtle starts to poke it's head out, run to the shitter & tell him it's a pond. They can't wait to dive in

[FlaChief58]

coffee, maybe?

but congrats bud!!!!!!!!

Coffee helps, but I'm thinking it was the fajitas & refried beans I made yesterday

[BigOlChiefsfan]

"Rectum? Dang near kiltum!"

[Simply Red]

I'm back on a high protein diet, let's just say protein isn't exactly fiber, however it doesn't hurt anything.

[TLO]

I've had a lot of coffee this morning. I feel something massive brewing.

[Hammock Parties]

Last night I ate a bunch of Kale, and today an apple. Also had an apple yesterday. I haven't moved my bowels in two days.

Let's do this shit. Literally.

[Simply Red]

Last night I ate a bunch of Kale, and today an apple. Also had an apple yesterday. I haven't moved my bowels in two days.

Let's do this shit. Literally.

mini wheats

[Hammock Parties]

mini wheats

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/198qj0pvzn5wqgif/ku-xlarge.gif

[Simply Red]

http://i.imgur.com/6vr2xN6.gif

[houstonwhodat]

Last night I ate a bunch of Kale, and today an apple. Also had an apple yesterday. I haven't moved my bowels in two days.

Let's do this shit. Literally.



Garlic works for me.

Go to Sams and get one of those 3 lb bags of peeled garlic for 5.00.

Cut off the root end.

Toss with olive oil and a little kosher salt.

Put in oven at 425 deg. for about 20-25 minutes.

The next day you'll be a fartin and a shittin all day.

[Hammock Parties]

another great shit aid is hummus

holy shit i fart so much after eating a couple tablespoons

[TLO]

That wasn't as impressive as I had hope

[BigOlChiefsfan]

A couple of 'add ins' might help youse guys. Buy a bag of chia (ch-ch-ch-chia!) and add a spoonful of chia seeds to your morning oatmeal (you do eat oats, right? If not, start. Good for your gut, literally). I'm diabetic so I eat 'low sugar' instant oats every morning - to a bowl of these instant oats I add a couple of tablespoons of oat bran, a tablespoon of chia seed. Pour in extra boiling water, stir and let this sit for 2 or 3 minutes, stir every now and then. The chia seeds 'gel' and thicken up w/the oats, soon it's a nice thick gruel - w/about 9 grams of fiber. A good start on the day. If you don't need to do the low-sugar thing, use whatever flavor oats you like. There's a hi-fiber variety, with the add ins you'll have about 16 grams of fiber to start your day.

Another good-for-what-ails-you meal - add a lb of split peas and a 48oz box of chicken broth to your crock pot before you go to bed, set it on 'hi'. Wake up, change the setting to 'low' and add a can of ro-tel, a can of chick peas or any canned bean you like (rinsed well!) big pinch of thyme, crushed red pepper. Go to work, come home and chop an onion and 4 or 5 cloves of garlic. Add any peppers you have, chopped. Heat a lot of olive oil - say 3 tablespoons - in a skillet, add your chopped onion, cook for 3 minutes. Add your garlic, cook for a minute or so and add 2 or 3 TBL of curry powder, 1 TBL of chile, 1 of cumin seed. Stir for a few minutes, add to your pot of peas. I add a can of chicken broth or beef broth if the peas are too thick (I use this to rinse any remaining spices out of my skillet into the peas)
Make some rice or buckwheat 'kasha' now and when it's done ladle grain in the bowl, add some of the dal (that's what they call this stuff) and dig in. IF it's not hot enough, add some hot sauce. Push it around w/bread of your choice, I like middle eastern flatbread - whole wheat if I can get it.
You can also add marinated onions (red or sweet white onions, sliced thin, splash w/red wine vinegar and let this set for 2 minutes or so before you eat). I skip the rice due to my diabetic diet, but the peas are good for what ails me. You won't be far-from-poopin - and this doesn't make ME all gassy, YMMV. I eat this every week or so, I may just be used to it. Tasty, cheap, hi-protein, hi-fiber. Spicy, the way I make it. Enjoy.

[BlackHelicopters]

Clean breaker this a.m. Life is good.

[ptlyon]

A couple of 'add ins' might help youse guys. Buy a bag of chia (ch-ch-ch-chia!) and add a spoonful of chia seeds to your morning oatmeal (you do eat oats, right? If not, start. Good for your gut, literally). I'm diabetic so I eat 'low sugar' instant oats every morning - to a bowl of these instant oats I add a couple of tablespoons of oat bran, a tablespoon of chia seed. Pour in extra boiling water, stir and let this sit for 2 or 3 minutes, stir every now and then. The chia seeds 'gel' and thicken up w/the oats, soon it's a nice thick gruel - w/about 9 grams of fiber. A good start on the day. If you don't need to do the low-sugar thing, use whatever flavor oats you like. There's a hi-fiber variety, with the add ins you'll have about 16 grams of fiber to start your day.

Another good-for-what-ails-you meal - add a lb of split peas and a 48oz box of chicken broth to your crock pot before you go to bed, set it on 'hi'. Wake up, change the setting to 'low' and add a can of ro-tel, a can of chick peas or any canned bean you like (rinsed well!) big pinch of thyme, crushed red pepper. Go to work, come home and chop an onion and 4 or 5 cloves of garlic. Add any peppers you have, chopped. Heat a lot of olive oil - say 3 tablespoons - in a skillet, add your chopped onion, cook for 3 minutes. Add your garlic, cook for a minute or so and add 2 or 3 TBL of curry powder, 1 TBL of chile, 1 of cumin seed. Stir for a few minutes, add to your pot of peas. I add a can of chicken broth or beef broth if the peas are too thick (I use this to rinse any remaining spices out of my skillet into the peas)
Make some rice or buckwheat 'kasha' now and when it's done ladle grain in the bowl, add some of the dal (that's what they call this stuff) and dig in. IF it's not hot enough, add some hot sauce. Push it around w/bread of your choice, I like middle eastern flatbread - whole wheat if I can get it.
You can also add marinated onions (red or sweet white onions, sliced thin, splash w/red wine vinegar and let this set for 2 minutes or so before you eat). I skip the rice due to my diabetic diet, but the peas are good for what ails me. You won't be far-from-poopin - and this doesn't make ME all gassy, YMMV. I eat this every week or so, I may just be used to it. Tasty, cheap, hi-protein, hi-fiber. Spicy, the way I make it. Enjoy.

Fuck, just take an Exlax. Christ.

[TLO]

Update:

Just finished off the rare two in one day clean breaker.

[Simply Red]

I'm pleased to report that there was a very nice movement this morning!

[Dayze]

****, just take an Exlax. Christ.

LMAO

[Simply Red]

LMAO

chia seeds are great for you - 8X the omega's as salmon contains. Think about that for a sec.

[Dayze]

what's an Omega?

[Simply Red]

what's an Omega?

sorry Omega 3 - see below ---


It's easy to get mixed up between omega-3 and omega-6; basically, omega-3 acids are the fats which are not so easy to come by. They're in fish oils, flax seeds, kiwi seeds, and chia seeds, amongst other things. Omega-6, on the other hand, is found almost everywhere you look: nuts, vegetable oils, avocadoes, etc. As important as omega-6 oils are to our health, the balance of omega-3 to omega-6 is equally important. As it is so easy to consume plenty of omega-6, it is very easy to end up with an unbalanced consumption of the two types of oils, which are also known as essential oils. When it comes to the amount of omega-3 oil in various seed oils, the chia seed has the highest content, just above kiwi seeds, perilla and flax.


Source: http://foodmatters.tv/articles-1/chia-seeds-for-protein-and-omega-3

[LoneWolf]

I'm pleased to report that there was a very nice movement this morning!

Congrats. I had my first clean breaker of the year yesterday morning and I would like to think the New Years Eve cheese dip played a part in it.

[Simply Red]

Congrats. I had my first clean breaker of the year yesterday morning and I would like to think the New Years Eve cheese dip played a part in it.

This is great bud! High Five!!! did you wash your hands? :fire:

[LoneWolf]

This is great bud! High Five!!! did you wash your hands? :fire:

Nope. If the TP is clean there is no need. On the flip side my eyes are pink and itchy this morning. ;)

[KCUnited]

I've been hopped up on cold medicine for 2 days, has me plugged up like Chewbacca's shower drain.

[Simply Red]

I've been hopped up on cold medicine for 2 days, has me plugged up like Chewbacca's shower drain.

However - when it finally happens - you will be all like thinking you're a jedi and stuff.

[KCUnited]

However - when it finally happens - you will be all like thinking you're a jedi and stuff.

Yoda shit I just took was off the chain!

[mikey23545]

A couple of 'add ins' might help youse guys. Buy a bag of chia (ch-ch-ch-chia!) and add a spoonful of chia seeds to your morning oatmeal ...


Chia seeds?!?!?

Good Lord...I've watched late night tv and I've seen what those things do when you water them...What if you stay corked up and give those things a couple of days inside your digestive tract to work their furry magic?!?!?!?!

STFU

[Simply Red]

Chia seeds?!?!?

Good Lord...I've watched late night tv and I've seen what those things do when you water them...What if you stay corked up and give those things a couple of days inside your digestive tract to work their furry magic?!?!?!?!

STFU

They do well - but you DO absolutely have to drink a lot of water.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Just had four bowls of imitation cocoa pebbles....I am good

[58-4ever]

Just had four bowls of imitation cocoa pebbles....I am good

Wow... were you stoned?

[mikey23545]

They do well - but you DO absolutely have to drink a lot of water.

Well, the last thing I want is for my colon to look like something Julie Andrews would run through while singing "The hills are alive with the sound of muuuusssiiiiccc!..."

[Simply Red]

Well, the last thing I want is for my colon to look like something Julie Andrews would run through while singing "The hills are alive with the sound of muuuusssiiiiccc!..."

ha, naw, hemp seed also has some wonders as a alt. medicine (for lack of a better word.)

[Simply Red]

Wow... were you stoned?

Me or him?

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Wow... were you stoned?

Nah just yearning for some choco

[Simply Red]

PGM - I'd like to express; this wasn't a clean brk, this AM - however it was the one wipe wonder! So not a bad overall shitting session. I feel good about everything, so far.

[58-4ever]

Me or him?

I know you were Dick face :p

[Simply Red]

I know you were Dick face :p

:evil:ROFL

[58-4ever]

Nah just yearning for some choco

4 bowls is next level shit...no pun intended

[Munson]

Had a clean breaker early this morning!

Its a good sign with our playoff game only a few hours away.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

My diet has been embarrassing lately. Haven't had a true clean break in a while.

[LoneWolf]

Drank quite a few White Russians last night and had a Carl Peterson shit this morning. It stuck around for way too long and left dingleberries hanging around after its departure.

[Simply Red]

I had been worried and having darker stools over the last few days. However I was telling Direckshun I was pretty sure it was just a stomach bug.

& MAN was I right! Today I shat a 14"er with perfect aesthetics! It was dynamic! I call it coincidence, but ever since PGM quit forever, I've had about 3 (no exaggeration!) consecutive clean breakers, two which were darker.

Today we had a nice medium/light brown note.

[Buehler445]

I just had a big bowl of Raisin Bran. Buehler445 doesn't get constipated.


Bitches!

[listopencil]

I consume a lot of fiber and probiotics in my normal diet. I shit like a champ. Once daily without fail, if I overeat I poop more often.

[Simply Red]

I consume a lot of fiber and probiotics in my normal diet. I shit like a champ. Once daily without fail, if I overeat I poop more often.

You're one of my favorite posters because of this accomplished shitting.

[Simply Red]

I just had a big bowl of Raisin Bran. Buehler445 doesn't get constipated.


Bitches!



You're one of my favorite posters because of this accomplished shitting.

[listopencil]

You're one of my favorite posters because of this accomplished shitting.

Last week I was able to enjoy some incredible cabbage rolls. They were cooked especially for me by a lady friend I was visiting. I couldn't help myself, I consumed so many of them that I had six very healthy bowel movements during the four day stay.

[Hammock Parties]

eat about 7-10 apples a week

my movements are smooth

[Cheater5]

Hmm. George Brett doesn't have any problems. And yeah, prolly Q like a sumbitch. Eat a D.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Q_gQG7qlvWo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Simply Red]

It's been a beautiful morning. The rare double-feature this morning.

[Rausch]

My colon reacts violently to spicy food.

It ejects everything. Once it hits the small intestine it's cramp and projectile-pooping time.

But I love the food.

Is my colon racist?...

[bevischief]

Yep.

[Rausch]

Yep.

http://www.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/luke-skywalker-nooooo1.jpeg

[Simply Red]

Oranges are a huge sleeper where stools are concerned.

[Rausch]

Oranges are a huge sleeper where stools are concerned.

Psyllium fiber has always worked for me. Take 3 in the morning and 3 caps before bed.

[bdj23]

I'm lactose intolerant and had shells & cheese for dinner. Along with half a jar of Renefros habanero salsa.

I'm shitting fire this morning.

[vailpass]

It's been a beautiful morning. The rare double-feature this morning.

:D

[threebag]

http://media.steampowered.com/steamcommunity/public/images/avatars/6b/6b13c6dbd3097e2acedca9147503cb59380b994c_full.jpg

[TLO]

Was feeling tired before class this morning. Picked up a 5 hour energy at the campus store and OMG, my stomach feels like it's on fire. Hopefully I can destroy a campus toilet here in a bit.

[BlackHelicopters]

Was feeling tired before class this morning. Picked up a 5 hour energy at the campus store and OMG, my stomach feels like it's on fire. Hopefully I can destroy a campus toilet here in a bit.

Upper deck it.

[Simply Red]

If you truly want to poop poop you never knew you encapsulated, go with oranges and add chia seeds to your protein drinks or smoothies.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

I ate some chili the other day and reenacted the dumb and dumber bathroom scene.

[listopencil]

Last week I was able to enjoy some incredible cabbage rolls. They were cooked especially for me by a lady friend I was visiting. I couldn't help myself, I consumed so many of them that I had six very healthy bowel movements during the four day stay.

I stumbled across a recipe for a stew made with cabbage roll ingredients. Very easy to make, delicious, works as well as the cabbage rolls. Lots and lots of farting. The farts are absolutely hideous.

[bevischief]

I just gave birth to a midget.

[BlackHelicopters]

Finally un clogged after two days.

[Fairplay]

I stumbled across a recipe for a stew made with cabbage roll ingredients. Very easy to make, delicious, works as well as the cabbage rolls. Lots and lots of farting. The farts are absolutely hideous.


Perfect family reunion food.

[BlackHelicopters]

I stumbled across a recipe for a stew made with cabbage roll ingredients. Very easy to make, delicious, works as well as the cabbage rolls. Lots and lots of farting. The farts are absolutely hideous.

First date food.

[Dayze]

It's been a good 2 or 3 days since I've shat.

[Bowser]

It's been a good 2 or 3 days since I've shat.

Hold your nose, put your thumb in your mouth, and blow as hard as you can.

[Bowser]

Whilst on the throne, of course.

[listopencil]

First date food.

My girlfriend made cabbage rolls for our first extended time together. We had been on three or four "dates" of increasing duration. It was the Summer, so we arranged about a week with just the two of us away from our kids. We farted like crazy and laughed at ourselves like idiots. It was great.

[Dayze]

Hold your nose, put your thumb in your mouth, and blow as hard as you can.

I'll need to see if my o-ring is within spec before performing such a manuever.

[Bowser]

I'll need to see if my o-ring is within spec before performing such a manuever.

"Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State."

[TLO]

Real life issues this morning.

Lots of repercussions from the beef and jalapeno nachos (Los Bravos) enjoyed after my shopping venture, last night.

Lower cramping, burning anus 'incomplete' shits.

This is bullshit I don't need - on the day that I love to eat.


Who else is constipated today?

How are you pooping this Thanksgiving, SR?

[stevieray]

Alice's Restaurant?

[Simply Red]

How are you pooping this Thanksgiving, SR?

I pooped real nicely this morning - Not a CB - but a nice size, coloring. All appears okay for now. I'm going to Ted's Montana Grill for TG and I'm so excited - let me tell you. Mom + my Stepdad - no chick/date.

Awesome. Can't wait.

[Hammock Parties]

I clogged my grandma's toilet last night.

Season's greetings.

[Simply Red]

http://i.imgur.com/yLoeZwa.jpg

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Prayers sent.

[Hammock Parties]

Since I got here I've eaten:

biscuits and gravy with fried eggs x2
cinnamon rolls x2
raisin pie
chocolate chip cookies x10
pizza slice x5
pork chili verde w/rice x2
BBQ pork
buffalo chicken wrap at bar last night (it was honestly total shit)
a few handfuls of whatever chocolate bullshit was laying around

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/129/749/drooling-homer-simpson.jpg

I did have a couple apples and a salad to offset