Strange things you hear in your house...

[Fire Me Boy!]

I just heard my wife say, "I NEED SOMETHING TO PENETRATE THIS ASSHOLE!!!"

:eek:

I'm scared.

[LoneWolf]

I just heard my wife say, "I NEED SOMETHING TO PENETRATE THIS ASSHOLE!!!"

:eek:

I'm scared.

Tell her to look at Walgreens.com.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Tell her to look at Walgreens.com.

ROFL

Cross-thread rep.

[BlackHelicopters]

Nothing beats early morning penetration.

[Scorp]

"If you just let me go, I won't tell anyone. I promise."

[lewdog]

Usually my wife is in the kitchen and says something like,

"I need you to come right now!"

So I'll answer, "on the front or back?" Or I'll say, "present your tits."

This never gets old to me. ROFL

[Katipan]

"If you just let me go, I won't tell anyone. I promise."

LMAO

[Simply Red]

I feel my bed move sometimes, I'm not even joking - It's a newer model Sleep-number - so I'm almost positive it isn't haunted.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Who was the dude that heard his sister moaning? ROFL

[crossbow]

Tell her to look at Walgreens.com.

lol

Nice one. Slam dunk.

[BlackHelicopters]

Tell her to look at Walgreens.com.

Vibrating or non vibrating?

[Fire Me Boy!]

Apparently, my wife was playing Skyrim and was trying to kill Ancano.

[bevischief]

Starting to think my wife's dog has the starting of Alzheimers. She is pushing around 12 years now.

[Mr_Tomahawk]

Let's Bray.

[MrGiggity]

My cats Queeefs

[In58men]

In a dead sleep my wife said "coffee" not sure if she was fucking some Starbucks guy or not. That's what my crazy jealous mind thinks first. Stupid whore.

[Deberg_1990]

I just heard my wife say, "I NEED SOMETHING TO PENETRATE THIS ASSHOLE!!!"

:eek:

I'm scared.

Well, why didn't you oblige her?

[notorious]

Random farts through the house crack me up. I will hear a powerful fart expecting my wife to walk down the hall only to discover it was my 6 year old daughter.

[LoneWolf]

Apparently, my wife was playing Skyrim and was trying to kill Ancano.

You should take all your clothes off, crawl into bed, and then yell to your wife to get her ass into bed and slay your dragon.

[LoneWolf]

Random farts through the house crack me up. I will hear a powerful fart expecting my wife to walk down the hall only to discover it was my 6 year old daughter.

Your daughter is going to make some lucky guy very happy one day.

[Ace Gunner]

"and the chiefs will have to punt"

[Cannibal]

Tell her to look at Walgreens.com.

Lonewolf might just be the king of the witty-one-liner. ROFL

[Saccopoo]

Usually my wife is in the kitchen and says something like,

"I need you to come right now!"

So I'll answer, "on the front or back?" Or I'll say, "present your tits."

This never gets old to me. ROFL

And some guys act surprised when they find out that they wives have been cheating on them or file for divorce...

[SAUTO]

Random farts through the house crack me up. I will hear a powerful fart expecting my wife to walk down the hall only to discover it was my 6 year old daughter.

this right here. lol

[bevischief]

Sex...

[TimBone]

Apparently, my wife was playing Skyrim and was trying to kill Ancano.

Lonewolf's suggestion won't help then. I don't think there is a Walgreens in Winterhold.

[TimBone]

And some guys act surprised when they find out that they wives have been cheating on them or file for divorce...

They wives?

[Scorp]

They wives?

Fucking Mormons!

[lewdog]

And some guys act surprised when they find out that they wives have been cheating on them or file for divorce...

I guess women can't have a sense of humor?

I'll let my wife know.

Thanks.