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View Full Version : Life Breaking News: I am the disowned heir of a wealthy matriarch.


Rain Man
12-18-2013, 11:47 PM
I just found out through the grapevine that my mom's mother went into assisted living a while back and sold her home for a nice seven-digit sum.

Why? Why? I come from a long and tightly held family tradition of rural poverty, and I just assumed that she followed that tradition. Out of the blue, I discover an elderly relative - a direct relative, even - with money, and she's the one person who disowned the family before I was born.

I could have been an heir! I would have made a great heir! I look so good in a smoking jacket and pipe! And now I'm just a guy whose rich grandmother dislikes him for even being born. There's no fun in that.

I kind of wish that I had been born out of wedlock so I could claim to be the bastard disowned heir of a wealthy family. That would be a cool story, much better than just being a regular disowned heir.

HolyHat
12-18-2013, 11:48 PM
Let me get $10

Rain Man
12-18-2013, 11:50 PM
Let me get $10

I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.

'Hamas' Jenkins
12-18-2013, 11:51 PM
Should have held on to that Dell stock.

Mr. Flopnuts
12-18-2013, 11:52 PM
I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.

If I can talk her into writing just you back into her will, what's it worth to you?

:titus:

Dayze
12-18-2013, 11:52 PM
prayers sent

Rain Man
12-18-2013, 11:53 PM
Should have held on to that Dell stock.

I bet she bought it.

J Diddy
12-18-2013, 11:55 PM
wait
Does this have anything to do with needing a thousand dollars to procure that inheritance for you?
If so, we're related.

Dayze
12-18-2013, 11:58 PM
you probably just got a bogus email fro someone in Sudan.

Rain Man
12-18-2013, 11:59 PM
If I can talk her into writing just you back into her will, what's it worth to you?

:titus:


You can pretend you're me if it'll help. She has no idea what I look like.

I find this quite surprising and humorous. She left the family and disowned them long before I was born. All I knew about her was that she lived in a mobile home in California, so I assumed that she was ... um ... you know ... a stereotypical mobile home dweller. And maybe she was. But she owned the land underneath the mobile home, and apparently it was in Napa County or something.

I really should develop a relationship with her. Maybe I'll go visit. She started a second family that she apparently likes, so I need to figure out how to cut them out...er, integrate myself into the family.

ClevelandBronco
12-18-2013, 11:59 PM
I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.

Want to get owned? Go screw with Phobia. He's in a mood.

Dayze
12-19-2013, 12:12 AM
I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.

I knew it.....

TimeForWasp
12-19-2013, 06:37 AM
Add her and your story to homewrecker.com

lcarus
12-19-2013, 06:43 AM
I always secretly had a fantasy that I was adopted and had an extremely rich patriarch father that dumped me as a baby. But alas, I look exactly like my dad and have a few of my mothers features. Nope. No deep dark family secrets. Booooring.

loochy
12-19-2013, 07:08 AM
Ha! This thread is actually serious. It started out sounding like one of those scam emails from Africa.

AndChiefs
12-19-2013, 07:36 AM
Is it better to have known what you could have had...or never know what you missed out on? That is the question here.

JD10367
12-19-2013, 08:14 AM
Did you at least get the Netflix account?

whoman69
12-19-2013, 08:26 AM
Can't think of anything clever to say...staring at JD10367's avatar

Graystoke
12-19-2013, 08:56 AM
I thought you lacked heir?
You told us you were bald.

trndobrd
12-19-2013, 09:13 AM
I really should develop a relationship with her. Maybe I'll go visit. She started a second family that she apparently likes, so I need to figure out how to cut them out...er, integrate myself into the family.

In most states, regardless of whether she 'disowned' the family or not, her estate would go to the remaining living heir. How large is her second family?

T-post Tom
12-19-2013, 09:25 AM
I just found out through the grapevine that my mom's mother went into assisted living a while back and sold her home for a nice seven-digit sum.

Why? Why? I come from a long and tightly held family tradition of rural poverty, and I just assumed that she followed that tradition. Out of the blue, I discover an elderly relative - a direct relative, even - with money, and she's the one person who disowned the family before I was born.

I could have been an heir! I would have made a great heir! I look so good in a smoking jacket and pipe! And now I'm just a guy whose rich grandmother dislikes him for even being born. There's no fun in that.

I kind of wish that I had been born out of wedlock so I could claim to be the bastard disowned heir of a wealthy family. That would be a cool story, much better than just being a regular disowned heir.

I love you just as you are, Rain Man. You'll always be sweet white trash to me. :)

mikeyis4dcats.
12-19-2013, 09:28 AM
send her a christmas card

Rain Man
12-19-2013, 09:47 AM
In most states, regardless of whether she 'disowned' the family or not, her estate would go to the remaining living heir. How large is her second family?

One child, one grandchild, one great-grandchild. I've never met them, so it would be easy to get the element of surprise if that's what you're thinking. But that would still leave my mother, my aunt, my uncle, and several cousins between me and the family mobile home estate in Sonoma, and I kind of like all of them.

Rain Man
12-19-2013, 09:48 AM
send her a christmas card

She's 97, so maybe if I signed it, "Your living grandson and chosen heir," I could confuse her into including me in the will.

Graystoke
12-19-2013, 10:15 AM
She's 97, so maybe if I signed it, "Your living grandson and chosen heir," I could confuse her into including me in the will.

Did she ever knit you a sweater?
You could wear it and send a Christmas Card with a picture of you wearing THAT SWEATER!

ClevelandBronco
12-19-2013, 10:26 AM
Did she ever knit you a sweater?
You could wear it and send a Christmas Card with a picture of you wearing THAT SWEATER!

She's 97. He could send her a picture of himself in any sweater and convince her she knitted it.

Graystoke
12-19-2013, 10:29 AM
She's 97. He could send her a picture of himself in any sweater and convince her she knitted it.

Didn't think of that. Well hold up a sign in the Christmas Card picture that says,

MY Favorite SWEATER EVAR! Knitted with LOVE BY YOU!

Rain Man
12-19-2013, 10:37 AM
I'm going to try the sweater deal. I have nothing to lose, and if I can pull it off we'll eat like kings.

Earthling
12-19-2013, 10:39 AM
One child, one grandchild, one great-grandchild. I've never met them, so it would be easy to get the element of surprise if that's what you're thinking. But that would still leave my mother, my aunt, my uncle, and several cousins between me and the family mobile home estate in Sonoma, and I kind of like all of them.

So you are saying it would be too difficult to poison your way to the top of the list?

Stalker
12-19-2013, 10:42 AM
Life's a bitch

Rain Man
12-19-2013, 11:20 AM
So you are saying it would be too difficult to poison your way to the top of the list?

Once you get past Person #2 or #3, I suspect the coroner starts asking questions.

BIG_DADDY
12-19-2013, 11:23 AM
You never fail to disappoint.

Imon Yourside
12-19-2013, 11:24 AM
You are cursed because you live in Denver, watch out for School shooters brah.

trndobrd
12-19-2013, 11:49 AM
Once you get past Person #2 or #3, I suspect the coroner starts asking questions.

Gotta go with one tragic accident.

BTW, I definitely remember you were in my office that day making a sales pitch, but I decided to go with someone else. I remember thinking what a great presentation you made, it was obvious you were very well prepared, but I felt like I had to go with someone local. I clearly recall that you did not leave my office until 3:48pm CST and had an eight hour drive back to Denver.

Rain Man
12-19-2013, 12:18 PM
Gotta go with one tragic accident.

BTW, I definitely remember you were in my office that day making a sales pitch, but I decided to go with someone else. I remember thinking what a great presentation you made, it was obvious you were very well prepared, but I felt like I had to go with someone local. I clearly recall that you did not leave my office until 3:48pm CST and had an eight hour drive back to Denver.

You're a good friend. I'll return the favor some day.