The appalling dining habits of the typical Southern-American family

[Hammock Parties]

This evening I found myself out and about drinking at a local casual dining restaurant and observing my fellow patrons, and their eating habits/manners are absolutely disgraceful.

It isn't that surprising to me, either, that the most shameful offenders were all southerners. The waiters are also typically ignorant and unhelpful.

When ordering, it is very common for a family of southerners to yell out or interrupt each other. I observed many men cutting off their wives, or ordering before/for them.

The typical southerner (male/female) generally does not consume many greens, and/or vegetables, and they primarily subsist off of carbs and starches. While ordering their salads most southerners will ask to hold the tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, but ask for extra croutons, extra bacon, extra cheese...

At establishments that provide free bread, the southerners will typically consume in excess of 2 of these loafs. The average seems to be 1 for non-southern families of 2-3.

Many southerner families will ask the waiter to provide them with ranch dressing to dip their bread into. While sitting at the bar it seems this was very popular. Absolutely horrifying--I was shocked and appalled.

On pasta dishes that would normally contain vegetables, the southerners will have them removed. Sometimes using their fingers if the waiter forgot to take them off!

Fried items are very popular amongst them. As is ranch dressing.

Most southerners seem to prefer their steaks cooked well done/ Most steaks that I observed or heard ordered in the general area were cooked well done. Sure a couple were medium-well, but these were offset by the well well-dones.

After spending a bit of time in the south, I can say without a doubt that not only are the stereotypes accurate, they are understated. Southerners, for the most part, are the most intellectually lazy, xenophobic, racist, ignorant, and insular people in the world. Worst of all, they take pride in their backwardness--under the foolish guise that they are "self reliant" or something like that.

They are overweight, uneducated, and horrendously lazy. When a family of southerners goes out to eat, they have the driver drop them off at the front of the restaurant instead of walking; considering they are typically obese this fear of exercise is dumbfounding.

Because they know their intelligence is no match for outsiders, they resist all contact with them and have developed a fear and hatred for those not like them.

They will be the downfall of America.

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

SEC! SEC!

[Reaper16]

False.

[ClevelandBronco]

You might need to define a southerner for us. By the definition we would have used in Cleveland, you're pretty close to being one.

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

Iced tea sucks

[Easy 6]

:popcorn:

[Hammock Parties]

You might need to define a southerner for us. By the definition we would have used in Cleveland, you're pretty close to being one.

They call Cleveland "the south of the northeast."

[ClevelandBronco]

They call Cleveland "the south of the northeast."

That would be Cincinnati.

[J Diddy]

This evening I found myself out and about drinking at a local casual dining restaurant and observing my fellow patrons, and their eating habits/manners are absolutely disgraceful. Translation: I was at a gay bar, gay gazing.

It isn't that surprising to me, either, that the most shameful offenders were all southerners. The waiters are also typically ignorant and unhelpful.
Translation: They didn't bow down and treat me according to how I feel I'm worth.
When ordering, it is very common for a family of southerners to yell out or interrupt each other. I observed many men cutting off their wives, or ordering before/for them.
Translation: I don't know how men and women interact. This is beyond the scope of my mind.
The typical southerner (male/female) generally does not consume many greens, and/or vegetables, and they primarily subsist off of carbs and starches. While ordering their salads most southerners will ask to hold the tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, but ask for extra croutons, extra bacon, extra cheese...Translation: This means I'm better than all of them. I. M. Better.

At establishments that provide free bread, the southerners will typically consume in excess of 2 of these loafs. The average seems to be 1 for non-southern families of 2-3. Translation: I have a yeast infection on my herpes.

Many southerner families will ask the waiter to provide them with ranch dressing to dip their bread into. While sitting at the bar it seems this was very popular. Absolutely horrifying--I was shocked and appalled.
Translation: See? Told you I was better. I swallow that white bread gravy whole, there's no licking off the doughboy

On pasta dishes that would normally contain vegetables, the southerners will have them removed. Sometimes using their fingers if the waiter forgot to take them off!
Translation: Holy GAWD!!! They use their fingers!!!!
Fried items are very popular amongst them. As is ranch dressing.
Translation: Fried is gay cowboy for BAD.

Most southerners seem to prefer their steaks cooked well done/ Most steaks that I observed or heard ordered in the general area were cooked well done. Sure a couple were medium-well, but these were offset by the well well-dones.
Translation: Yes I not only meat gaze, I meat listen too.
After spending a bit of time in the south, I can say without a doubt that not only are the stereotypes accurate, they are understated. Southerners, for the most part, are the most intellectually lazy, xenophobic, racist, ignorant, and insular people in the world. Worst of all, they take pride in their backwardness--under the foolish guise that they are "self reliant" or something like that.

They are overweight, uneducated, and horrendously lazy. When a family of southerners goes out to eat, they have the driver drop them off at the front of the restaurant instead of walking; considering they are typically obese this fear of exercise is dumbfounding.

Because they know their intelligence is no match for outsiders, they resist all contact with them and have developed a fear and hatred for those not like them.

They will be the downfall of America.
Translation: I need to feel superior to someone. Will you let me have the southerners?

[TimBone]

Living up to the new username, I see.

[Donger]

This evening I found myself out and about drinking at a local casual dining restaurant and observing my fellow patrons, and their eating habits/manners are absolutely disgraceful.

It isn't that surprising to me, either, that the most shameful offenders were all southerners. The waiters are also typically ignorant and unhelpful.

When ordering, it is very common for a family of southerners to yell out or interrupt each other. I observed many men cutting off their wives, or ordering before/for them.

The typical southerner (male/female) generally does not consume many greens, and/or vegetables, and they primarily subsist off of carbs and starches. While ordering their salads most southerners will ask to hold the tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, but ask for extra croutons, extra bacon, extra cheese...

At establishments that provide free bread, the southerners will typically consume in excess of 2 of these loafs. The average seems to be 1 for non-southern families of 2-3.

Many southerner families will ask the waiter to provide them with ranch dressing to dip their bread into. While sitting at the bar it seems this was very popular. Absolutely horrifying--I was shocked and appalled.

On pasta dishes that would normally contain vegetables, the southerners will have them removed. Sometimes using their fingers if the waiter forgot to take them off!

Fried items are very popular amongst them. As is ranch dressing.

Most southerners seem to prefer their steaks cooked well done/ Most steaks that I observed or heard ordered in the general area were cooked well done. Sure a couple were medium-well, but these were offset by the well well-dones.

After spending a bit of time in the south, I can say without a doubt that not only are the stereotypes accurate, they are understated. Southerners, for the most part, are the most intellectually lazy, xenophobic, racist, ignorant, and insular people in the world. Worst of all, they take pride in their backwardness--under the foolish guise that they are "self reliant" or something like that.

They are overweight, uneducated, and horrendously lazy. When a family of southerners goes out to eat, they have the driver drop them off at the front of the restaurant instead of walking; considering they are typically obese this fear of exercise is dumbfounding.

Because they know their intelligence is no match for outsiders, they resist all contact with them and have developed a fear and hatred for those not like them.

They will be the downfall of America.

Who is the author? I know it isn't you.

[Hammock Parties]

Who is the author? I know it isn't you.

If you would like to take credit, you may.

[Donger]

If you would like to take credit, you may.

I would never take credit for such an abortion.

[J Diddy]

I would never take credit for such an abortion.


If one was an abortion doctor, would they be proud of this abortion?

[BlackHelicopters]

In.

[Donger]

If one was an abortion doctor, would they be proud of this abortion?

That depends. Is it chicken-fried and slathered with gravy, with a Rebel flag napkin to help clean up the mess?

[J Diddy]

That depends. Is it chicken-fried and slathered with gravy, with a Rebel flag napkin to help clean up the mess?

Now that's my kind of abortion doctor. Fuck them pussy northerners. My A.D. needs to practice with a rebel yell.

[Donger]

I do, however, suspect that the author is undoubtedly homosexual.

[J Diddy]

I do, however, suspect that the author is undoubtedly homosexual.

author gay and not Clay?

Mind is blown.

[Fire Me Boy!]

False.

QFT

[Simply Red]

Food and Drink The appalling dining habits of the typical Southern-American family.

Just shuts ur mouth boy, and pass the gravy!!

[J Diddy]

Just shuts ur mouth boy, and pass the gravy!!


Not a drop of gravy....man or otherwise has any hope of escape from Captain Perennial.

[blaise]

People that claim other people in one part of the country or another behave much differently than anyone else normally strike me as sort of juvenile and stupid.

[J Diddy]

People that claim other people in one part of the country or another behave much differently than anyone else normally strike me as sort of juvenile and stupid.

I was going for raging homosexual but that works too.

[notorious]

The south is beautiful and horrific at the same time.

There are a lot of hot girls in the south, but it also has the fattest states in the US.

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-fitness/photos/top-10-fat-states-where-obesity-rates-are-highest/9

[BWillie]

Translation: I need to feel superior to someone. Will you let me have the southerners?

Spot on analysis.. Ive been to the South. ''Lived'' there for two months and while it is shitty, I found the ppl to be extremely pleasant and friendly.

Isnt the OP actually from the South?

[alpha_omega]

Damn y'all...this is pert neer the best thread this side of the mason dixon line.

[Hammock Parties]

I do, however, suspect that the author is undoubtedly homosexual.

THEN IT'S A GOOD THING I DIDN'T WRITE IT

[Donger]

Spot on analysis. OP certainly feels the need to feel superior to others.

Don't be too hard on GoChiefs. In a way, he is superior to fat people. He used to be a socially-retarded, misogynistic, human imitation of Jobba the Hut.

[Hammock Parties]

Don't be too hard on GoChiefs. In a way, he is superior to fat people. He used to be a socially-retarded, misogynistic, human imitation of Jobba the Hut.

It's "Jabba the Hutt."

[HonestChieffan]

Waldo is an ideal location for you.

[Donger]

It's "Jabba the Hutt."

Irrelevant.

[CrazyPhuD]

Actually it's not them being southern that does this. It's eating ranch dressing. Ranch dressing makes you fat, stupid and lazy, so if you see a friend starting to eat ranch dressing slap it out of their hand. It's for their own good.

[Donger]

Actually it's not them being southern that does this. It's eating ranch dressing. Ranch dressing makes you fat, stupid and lazy, so if you see a friend starting to eat ranch dressing slap it out of their hand. It's for their own good.

But into what am I supposed to dip my hot wings?

[Hammock Parties]

Irrelevant.

To a man who values good spelling and grammar as much as you, I think not.

[Hammock Parties]

But into what am I supposed to dip my hot wings?

Bleu cheese, you cretin.

[Donger]

To a man who values good spelling and grammar as much as you, I think not.

I enjoy other things more.

[Donger]

Bleu cheese, you cretin.

That's revolting. Ken's Steakhouse Ranch or no wings.

[Hammock Parties]

I enjoy other things more.

Not on the internet. I know you well.

[Hammock Parties]

That's revolting. Ken's Steakhouse Ranch or no wings.

Appalling.

[tmh]

Wow a let me make casual observations and paint with broad strokes post... Also while doing so let me boast about how much better I am as a human being.

Wow thought this level of intellectual was grown out of after high school.

[ClevelandBronco]

Bleu cheese, you cretin.

http://www.seriouseats.com/talk/2009/01/open-letter-to-restaurants-its-blue-cheese-not-bleu.html

[notorious]

Blue cheese is the stuff that dreams are made of.

[Donger]

Blue cheese is the stuff that dreams are made of.

And stinky feet and other malodorous body parts.

[hometeam]

I like veggies.

But ill be damned if im eating a fuckin onion. Yall are sick.

[Easy 6]

Tennessee had far and away the friendliest people overall of anywhere I've ever been.

[CrazyPhuD]

Tennessee had far and away the friendliest people overall of anywhere I've ever been.

Their hookers are awesome! No teeth to fuck up a bj. :D

[Pablo]

I like veggies.

But ill be damned if im eating a fuckin onion. Yall are sick.Onions and garlic in everything.

[Tombstone RJ]

quality thread, would read again...

[greatgooglymoogly]

Southerners never had a monopoly on bigotry.

[Easy 6]

Their hookers are awesome! No teeth to **** up a bj. :D

Heh, I never did have the chance to find that out, married at the time as I was.

[Hammock Parties]

pssssssst, comedy gold

http://us.reddit.com/r/texas/comments/1w4yiu/the_appalling_dining_habits_of_the_typical/

[Tombstone RJ]

Wow a let me make casual observations and paint with broad strokes post... Also while doing so let me boast about how much better I am as a human being.

Wow thought this level of intellectual was grown out of after high school.

lol...

[Tombstone RJ]

pictures, they are needed...

[greatgooglymoogly]

But into what am I supposed to dip my hot wings?

Nothing. They already have sauce on them.

[Donger]

Nothing. They already have sauce on them.

You Godless heathen. You make me want to vomit.

[blaise]

pssssssst, comedy gold

http://us.reddit.com/r/texas/comments/1w4yiu/the_appalling_dining_habits_of_the_typical/

Yeah, that's not comedy, gold, or comedy gold. It's just an over done bit. Which would be acceptable if it were done really well, but it wasn't.

[blaise]

That's revolting. Ken's Steakhouse Ranch or no wings.

Bleu cheese is much better on wings.

[vailpass]

Nothing. They already have sauce on them.

The hot vs. Cold Dichotomy is what makes it...

[ChiefGator]

Waldo is an ideal location for you.

Where's Waldo?

No seriously.. I live about 20 minutes from Waldo, Florida.

[NewChief]

Firstly, you're not in the South. You're in Texas.

I also find myself disgusted at times by my heritage, but I'm also amazed at how fucking cool it is at times as well. The traditional foodways of the South kick the shit out of any other region in the country. Sadly, far too many southerners have neglected their heritage for the cult of fast food and large portion chains.

[Hammock Parties]

Firstly, you're not in the South. You're in Texas.

Good heavens, no.

[NewChief]

The south is beautiful and horrific at the same time.




I often teach a southern literature/culture unit as part of one of my classes. This is pretty much the dichotomy we always end up exploring.

[Prison Bitch]

Did anyone actually finish reading that first post?

[Hammock Parties]

Did anyone actually finish reading that first post?

If they were "educated" in the South, likely not.

[greatgooglymoogly]

Firstly, you're not in the South. You're in Texas.

I also find myself disgusted at times by my heritage, but I'm also amazed at how ****ing cool it is at times as well. The traditional foodways of the South kick the shit out of any other region in the country. Sadly, far too many southerners have neglected their heritage for the cult of fast food and large portion chains.

:clap: Texas is too large and diverse to lump in with any other region. FGS, Texas has more people living in it than the entire Deep South. As for the food, it lives on in certain cookbooks and holes in walls, but the "bastardize it with butter" crowd has done so much damage. :shake: It's like venison, wild onions and morels don't exist.

[Why Not?]

Douche,

You must have been hanging out in some little seedy parts of the south. The cities in the south( Atlanta(the good part), Charleston, etc)have some of the nicest most well mannered people I ever met.

[AustinChief]

I often teach a southern literature/culture unit as part of one of my classes. This is pretty much the dichotomy we always end up exploring.

Let me guess.. this is part of the curriculum?

<object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/72j7Ars1r5g?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/72j7Ars1r5g?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

:D

(I couldn't find a video for the S.C.O.T.S. song "Barnyard Ballbuster" so this will do)

[Al Bundy]

I was married to a southern woman. This describes her family to a t.

[NewChief]

:clap: Texas is too large and diverse to lump in with any other region. FGS, Texas has more people living in it than the entire Deep South. As for the food, it lives on in certain cookbooks and holes in walls, but the "bastardize it with butter" crowd has done so much damage. :shake: It's like venison, wild onions and morels don't exist.

Well, a HUGE trend (almost to the point that it's past the apex and on the decline) in food right now is the whole southern/soul thing, but yeah: it's almost pastiche at this point.

But if anyone thinks that southern "culture" is dead, pick up Garden and Gun or the Oxford American, even if G&G is something of an aristocratic whitewash.

[Baby Lee]

It's interesting that the slightest critique of black culture will initiate summits and beer sit downs and national conversations.

And you write a screed in how fucking disgusting everything is about being Southern merits a 'oh shut up' or 'hum, interesting.'

I realize there's a dichotomy between habit criticism and attribute criticism, but FFS it's getting old at this point.

[greatgooglymoogly]

Well, a HUGE trend (almost to the point that it's past the apex and on the decline) in food right now is the whole southern/soul thing, but yeah: it's almost pastiche at this point.

But if anyone thinks that southern "culture" is dead, pick up Garden and Gun or the Oxford American, even if G&G is something of an aristocratic whitewash.

I think the problem is homogenization of culture in general by cherry picking particular aspects of regional/ethnic cultures across America, whittling them down to a stereotype, and distributing them via mass production to the rest of the country. What gets left behind tends to be neglected.

[bdj23]

Tl;dr

Delete user ban thread.

[Baby Lee]

I like veggies.

But ill be damned if im eating a fuckin onion. Yall are sick.

Onions might be my favorite thing ever.

Think about it

a Sonic onion ring

Onions on a Chicago hot dog

French onion soup

a really good salsa

French Fried Onions on Green Bean Casserole

Fresh onions, caramelized onions, fried onions, baked onions.

Almost everything edible I love has an onion in it somewhere.

It makes meatloaf better, for fuck's sake ONLY it makes liver even moderately edible.

Cucumber and onion in vinegar and black pepper is pretty the epitome of summer

But then I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

You expressing disdain for onions is like saying how much oxygen sucks as a respiration vehicle.

[Tombstone RJ]

I think the problem is homogenization of culture in general by cherry picking particular aspects of regional/ethnic cultures across America, whittling them down to a stereotype, and distributing them via mass production to the rest of the country. What gets left behind tends to be neglected.

ROFL sure, ok. Then again, where there's smoke, there's fire.

[bdj23]

Onions might be my favorite thing ever.

Think about it

a Sonic onion ring

Onions on a Chicago hot dog

French onion soup

a really good salsa

French Fried Onions on Green Bean Casserole

Fresh onions, caramelized onions, fried onions, baked onions.

Almost everything edible I love has an onion in it somewhere.

But then I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

You expressing disdain for onions is like saying how much oxygen sucks as a respiration vehicle.

Z-MAN!

[notorious]

There are fat, rude people all across the US.

[MatriculatingHank]

Well, I heard Mister Young sing about her.
Well, I heard ole Neil put her down.
Well, I hope Neil Young will remember.
A Southern man don't need him around anyhow..

[greatgooglymoogly]

ROFL sure, ok. Then again, where there's smoke, there's fire.

B.B. King and his style of electric blues became famous worldwide. R.L. Burnside and his acoustic style, not so much. Same with Johnny Cash compared to Bob Wills. You don't hear much Western swing on country radio these days.

[Hammock Parties]

I really wish we could get ol Chauncey the Third to weigh in on this issue.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/member.php?u=11987

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/customavatars/avatar11987_2.gif

[J Diddy]

Don't be too hard on GoChiefs. In a way, he is superior to fat people. He used to be a socially-retarded, misogynistic, human imitation of Jobba the Hut.

Are you implying that he's not that way now?

[J Diddy]

Onions might be my favorite thing ever.

Think about it

a Sonic onion ring

Onions on a Chicago hot dog

French onion soup

a really good salsa

French Fried Onions on Green Bean Casserole

Fresh onions, caramelized onions, fried onions, baked onions.

Almost everything edible I love has an onion in it somewhere.

It makes meatloaf better, for ****'s sake ONLY it makes liver even moderately edible.

Cucumber and onion in vinegar and black pepper is pretty the epitome of summer

But then I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

You expressing disdain for onions is like saying how much oxygen sucks as a respiration vehicle.
The only way I've had onions that I did not like was in French Onion soup.

[Tombstone RJ]

B.B. King and his style of electric blues became famous worldwide. R.L. Burnside and his acoustic style, not so much. Same with Johnny Cash compared to Bob Wills. You don't hear much Western swing on country radio these days.

I understand but I also know this has little to nothing to do with southern stereotypes...

[Donger]

Are you implying that he's not that way now?

One out of three ain't bad.

[greatgooglymoogly]

I understand but I also know this has little to nothing to do with southern stereotypes...

I was addressing foods in the second part of my first post. Morel mushrooms are not featured in nationally popular southern dishes, but they are a well known seasonal food item in Kentucky, Tennessee, northern Arkansas and southern Missouri. I used to go "mushroom hunting" every March/April with my Dad. They're not stereotypically southern because they're not well known outside of these hilly regions.

[Tombstone RJ]

I was addressing foods in the second part of my first post. Morel mushrooms are not featured in nationally popular southern dishes, but they are a well known seasonal food item in Kentucky, Tennessee, northern Arkansas and southern Missouri. I used to go "mushroom hunting" every March/April with my Dad. They're not stereotypically southern because they're not well known outside of these hilly regions.

did you eat the ones underneath the meadow muffins?

[greatgooglymoogly]

did you eat the ones underneath the meadow muffins?

There were no cows in the immediate area where I grew up - the area was forested and very thick with weeds and briars. These mushrooms tend not to grow in open areas, unless it's right after a forest fire. Thus the term "hunting" - you had to scour for these mushrooms.

[Baby Lee]

B.B. King and his style of electric blues became famous worldwide. R.L. Burnside and his acoustic style, not so much. Same with Johnny Cash compared to Bob Wills. You don't hear much Western swing on country radio these days.


Why would I have explain how this isn't a hobby, would you ask Tom Petty that?

[ottawa_chiefs_fan]

There are fat, rude people all across the US.

There are fat, nice people all across Canada.

[Tombstone RJ]

There were no cows in the immediate area where I grew up - the area was forested and very thick with weeds and briars. These mushrooms tend not to grow in open areas, unless it's right after a forest fire. Thus the term "hunting" - you had to scour for these mushrooms.

No cows?! No cows?! Just where in the fuck do you live?

[ChiefRocka]

I liken Clay to the "watch snob".

[greatgooglymoogly]

No cows?! No cows?! Just where in the **** do you live?

Well, there weren't cows on our property. It wasn't good for that because of the forest and the topography, which is why my Dad was able to get it. We had neighbors with flatter, cleared land that raised cattle, and their property values tended to be higher. No matter what, though, the soil was very, very rocky, so crop farming was limited to hay.

[Hammock Parties]

I liken Clay to the "watch snob".

No watch parts or anything. Just a big chunk of gold on your wrist.

[Titty Meat]

This thread sucks

[Tombstone RJ]

Well, there weren't cows on our property. It wasn't good for that because of the forest and the topography, which is why my Dad was able to get it. We had neighbors with flatter, cleared land that raised cattle, and their property values tended to be higher. No matter what, though, the soil was very, very rocky, so crop farming was limited to hay.

so, you were moonshine folk eh, then your family eased into growing cheeba?

[Tombstone RJ]

This thread sucks

shut up, fatty.

[greatgooglymoogly]

so, you were moonshine folk eh, then your family eased into growing cheeba?

My dad actually got busted for growing and possession about 10 years ago. It wasn't large scale or anything, he did it because he had back problems and didn't want to pay anyone.

No moonshine, my family was trashier than that. My Dad's favorite liquor was Rich and Rare. I once joked that my life goal was to be able to afford R&R Reserve. LMAO

[Hammock Parties]

This thread sucks

Link to any thread you've made that might compete with it.

[hometeam]

Onions and garlic in everything.



Garlic is yes.



Onions are sick. SICK I TELL YOU. people with brain problems eat them~

[Baby Lee]

My dad actually got busted for growing and possession about 10 years ago. It wasn't large scale or anything, he did it because he had back problems and didn't want to pay anyone.

No moonshine, my family was trashier than that. My Dad's favorite liquor was Rich and Rare. I once joked that my life goal was to be able to afford R&R Reserve. LMAO

That might be the most disgusting thing I've ever read.

Given the choice between R&R and antifreeze, I would have a true quandary

[beach tribe]

You stereotyping an entire region of people by the small sample size that you took from your $5 dinner at shoneys is about as ignorant as saying that black people like fried chicken more than anyone else just because you saw a few black folks eating at KFC.
Dumb and ignorant.

[afchief]

I was addressing foods in the second part of my first post. Morel mushrooms are not featured in nationally popular southern dishes, but they are a well known seasonal food item in Kentucky, Tennessee, northern Arkansas and southern Missouri. I used to go "mushroom hunting" every March/April with my Dad. They're not stereotypically southern because they're not well known outside of these hilly regions.

Not only southern Missouri but also central Missouri and into Kansas as well. Nothing compares to morels cooked by someone that knows how. Crappie and morels. God I want spring to get here.

[Reaper16]

Crappie and morels. God I want spring to get here.

That's my heritage in a nutshell. Best meal possible.

[Buzz]

I read through 7 pages for this? Somebody throw me a roll.

[seamonster]

Spot on analysis.. Ive been to the South. ''Lived'' there for two months and while it is shitty, I found the ppl to be extremely pleasant and friendly.

Isnt the OP actually from the South?

When I was in the Air Force I was stationed in the deep south. You've got to understand how Southerns act around people they percieve to be outsiders\queers: they talk massive amounts of sht behind your back. There's this weird cultural two faced quirk that from my experience wasn't just a one off event, a lot of people I know have had the same experiences. Nice, pleasant people until they're behind closed doors or in a different cubicle.

[sd4chiefs]

I really miss Stroud's. There is nothing like it that even comes close in San Diego.

[Titty Meat]

Link to any thread you've made that might compete with it.

Learn2searchfunction ****boy

[Baby Lee]

I read through 7 pages for this? Somebody throw me a roll.

I really miss Stroud's. There is nothing like it that even comes close in San Diego.

Lamberts, Strouds and KC BBQ alone justify Missouri's existence.

Over on the east side of the state, I can't think of competition until The Blue Owl, which is halfway to Lambert's anyways.

But I gotta admit, that is some sweet ass 'lazy white american' food. Best I've ever had.

What you are looking at is a picture of a fucking PIE, as American as a LITERAL apple pie, and it's like a bajillion dollars [MSRP $46.95], and they can't stop making them. It's like the Missouri Cronut without the PR push.

http://www.theblueowlgiftshop.com/image.php?type=P&id=32

But their non-dessert menu is somehow simultaneously pedestrian and exquisite.

http://theblueowl.com/index.php/restaurant-menu

Want the best white chili you've ever had? The best Cobb salad, the best broccoli cheese casserole? . . . THE BEST FUCKING PATTY MELT.

I mean, how does someone do a patty melt that you remember over any other you've ever had? How is that possible?

Like I said, pedestrian and exquisite.


BTW, speaking of cronuts, their croissant sandwiches are equally amazing.

It's nothing complicated, just find the best recipe, use the best ingredients, and never slack off. ALWAYS cook like it's your first born child and his sainted Grandma celebrating a major life moment at the table

[afchief]

I just got thru watching a show about west Virginians, Georgians - Appalachian Outlaws hunting for genshing(spelling). They get up to $1000/pound for this crap. I have never heard it even grew there. People were shooting and setting traps for poachers. It was like the moonshine have gone modern.

[Titty Meat]

Strouds cinnamon rolls >

[GoChargers]

The part about dipping their bread into ranch dressing gags me, but I've been down south and the food is excellent, and I didn't notice most of these "habits."

[Easy 6]

I just got thru watching a show about west Virginians, Georgians - Appalachian Outlaws hunting for genshing(spelling). They get up to $1000/pound for this crap. I have never heard it even grew there. People were shooting and setting traps for poachers. It was like the moonshine have gone modern.

I'm loving this show, I had no idea what this stuff is going for either... but I know it grows around my Grandpas old place because he picked it all the time, always used to have piles of it laying around to dry.

You cab bet your ass I'll be in those woods out back this summer because the home and ground is still in my family... and it seems like the moonshiners dont have JACK on the money these guys get for this stuff, that Georgia boy Greg Shook walked out of Kaufmans with 14k for 12 pounds of this stuff.

[beach tribe]

The part about dipping their bread into ranch dressing gags me, but I've been down south and the food is excellent, and I didn't notice most of these "habits."

He just ran into some hill billy trash and ignorantly labeled them the typical southern-American.

They do exist, though.
And they put ranch on everything. French fries, bread, baked potatoes, etc.

[beach tribe]

I'm loving this show, I had no idea what this stuff is going for either... but I know it grows around my Grandpas old place because he picked it all the time, always used to have piles of it laying around to dry.

You cab bet your ass I'll be in those woods out back this summer because the home and ground is still in my family... and it seems like the moonshiners dont have JACK on the money these guys get for this stuff, that Georgia boy Greg Shook walked out of Kaufmans with 14k for 12 pounds of this stuff.

Have you ever seen "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia"?

That is some funny shit.

[Easy 6]

He just ran into some hill billy trash and ignorantly labeled them the typical southern-American.

They do exist, though.
And they put ranch on everything. French fries, bread, baked potatoes, etc.

Yeah, screw whoever wrote this garbage, I'd rather hang out with "southern trash" than this snobified city pussy 8 days a week.

[Easy 6]

Have you ever seen "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia"?

That is some funny shit.

No sir, cant say that I have.

[Baby Lee]

He just ran into some hill billy trash and ignorantly labeled them the typical southern-American.

They do exist, though.
And they put ranch on everything. French fries, bread, baked potatoes, etc.

The irony that is me, is that I cannot stand ranch dressing, but loves few things more than bleu cheese dressing.

Seems similar, but the two are as different to me as fine aged scotch and hobo ejaculate.

[MatriculatingHank]

http://comediva.com/images/stories/2012/marniequiz122.gif

[Baby Lee]

No sir, cant say that I have.

Good show, actually produced by Johnny Knoxville

Documentary on the family lives of some descendants of famous Appalachian clog dancers.

Meth, cigarettes, obesity and Gatorade before Honey Boo-Boo was even born.

Think if Shameless moved from Chatsworth to Chicago to West Virginia, getting seedier and more fascinating along the way.

That's the only real life family I could picture tolerating 'Frank the Tank.'


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/pUIapa-U0bY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[beach tribe]

The irony that is me, is that I cannot stand ranch dressing, but loves few things more than bleu cheese dressing.

Seems similar, but the two are as different to me as fine aged scotch and hobo ejaculate.

I admittedly do it with both. Whichever one is available at the time. lol

I used to have a GF who worked at long horn steak house bitd and I would eat their bread with their Killer BC with the huge chunks in it. Mmmmmmmm.

[beach tribe]

Yeah, screw whoever wrote this garbage, I'd rather hang out with "southern trash" than this snobified city pussy 8 days a week.

No wonder why we always agree.

[Easy 6]

Good show, actually produced by Johnny Knoxville

Documentary on the family lives of some descendants of famous Appalachian clog dancers.

Meth, cigarettes, obesity and Gatorade before Honey Boo-Boo was even born.

Think if Shameless moved from Chatsworth to Chicago to West Virginia, getting seedier and more fascinating along the way.

That's the only real life family I could picture tolerating 'Frank the Tank.'


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/pUIapa-U0bY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Now THAT looks entertaining... I'll be seeing if I can find it online soon.

[Baby Lee]

http://comediva.com/images/stories/2012/marniequiz122.gif

Allison Williams could be taking a dump behind a KFC dumpster and I'd think it was the most adorable thing in the world.


Awwww, you gotta? you need to pooh there? Splashing a little juice the shoes, are ya? About to fall on that box of expired lettuce? What a cutie. . .

[Baby Lee]

I admittedly do it with both. Whichever one is available at the time. lol

I used to have a GF who worked at long horn steak house bitd and I would eat their bread with their Killer BC with the huge chunks in it. Mmmmmmmm.

The internet justified it's entire existence which a provided me with the recipe for Outback Steakhouse BC dreessing.

Still haven't found anything as good in stores, but it's horrifying to realize what goes into it.

Hellman's mayo [almost ENTIRELY], Buttermilk, onion and garlic powder and BC.

[WhiteWhale]

This evening I found myself out and about drinking at a local casual dining restaurant and observing my fellow patrons, and their eating habits/manners are absolutely disgraceful.

It isn't that surprising to me, either, that the most shameful offenders were all southerners. The waiters are also typically ignorant and unhelpful.

When ordering, it is very common for a family of southerners to yell out or interrupt each other. I observed many men cutting off their wives, or ordering before/for them.

The typical southerner (male/female) generally does not consume many greens, and/or vegetables, and they primarily subsist off of carbs and starches. While ordering their salads most southerners will ask to hold the tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, but ask for extra croutons, extra bacon, extra cheese...

At establishments that provide free bread, the southerners will typically consume in excess of 2 of these loafs. The average seems to be 1 for non-southern families of 2-3.

Many southerner families will ask the waiter to provide them with ranch dressing to dip their bread into. While sitting at the bar it seems this was very popular. Absolutely horrifying--I was shocked and appalled.

On pasta dishes that would normally contain vegetables, the southerners will have them removed. Sometimes using their fingers if the waiter forgot to take them off!

Fried items are very popular amongst them. As is ranch dressing.

Most southerners seem to prefer their steaks cooked well done/ Most steaks that I observed or heard ordered in the general area were cooked well done. Sure a couple were medium-well, but these were offset by the well well-dones.

After spending a bit of time in the south, I can say without a doubt that not only are the stereotypes accurate, they are understated. Southerners, for the most part, are the most intellectually lazy, xenophobic, racist, ignorant, and insular people in the world. Worst of all, they take pride in their backwardness--under the foolish guise that they are "self reliant" or something like that.

They are overweight, uneducated, and horrendously lazy. When a family of southerners goes out to eat, they have the driver drop them off at the front of the restaurant instead of walking; considering they are typically obese this fear of exercise is dumbfounding.

Because they know their intelligence is no match for outsiders, they resist all contact with them and have developed a fear and hatred for those not like them.

They will be the downfall of America.

You're ugly and girls don't like you.

I have a lot of family from Arkansas. One of them is a farmer and is as 'good ol' boy" as they come. He drives a ford he parks on a hill because it won't start without a 'push'. He pushes it down the hill and pops the clutch to start it.

He's also a millionaire, which he made INVESETING, but you wouldn't know it because he lacks all of your pretenses. Obviously you're much smarter than he is.

Your fragile ego is showing. Tuck it in.

[Baby Lee]

You're ugly and girls don't like you.

I have a lot of family from Arkansas. One of them is a farmer and is as 'good ol' boy" as they come. He drives a ford he parks on a hill because it won't start without a 'push'. He pushes it down the hill and pops the clutch to start it.

He's also a millionaire, which he made INVESETING, but you wouldn't know it because he lacks all of your pretenses. Obviously you're much smarter than he is.

Your fragile ego is showing. Tuck it in.

Wow, forgotten child memory

Dad had a truck he had to clutch start. And one day I came out of the garage, and I thought, I mean with 10000% certainty that dad was back out of the drive in it.

So I waved, then dad comes rushing from the front door and the truck is crashing into the neighbor's tree.

To this day I can't reconcile what I saw and what happened and have no idea how the truck started rolling. [our driveway was a classic suburban inclined drive]

I'm sure my dad thought I was a purely evil child that day.

I mean, I'm also 10000% sure I didn't touch the truck but just waved. But obviously, objectively, my dad wasn't driving it.

[Mav]

Quality thread.

[LoneWolf]

I spent 5 weeks in Greenville, SC last year working at the BMW manufacturing plant. There were a lot of attractive women (being married sucked) and the people were some of the friendliest I've ever been around. There was also a large section of the population that was into fitness. Greenville has a spectacular river walk area in the middle of the city and I would run 3 nights a week along the river. I was always surprised at the number of people running, walking, and bike riding in the evenings.

[Chaunceythe3rd]

I really wish we could get ol Chauncey the Third to weigh in on this issue.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/member.php?u=11987

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/customavatars/avatar11987_2.gif

Good breeding dictates that I don't comment on my lessers. However, I will say that the charm of distance was never more appreciated vis-à-vis the relative location of the Northeast vs. the South. 'Nuff said (using the vernacular of the South and their unpleasant tendency to drop vowels and sometimes consonants) owing, I suppose, to lack of education or habitual laziness.

[ChiefRocka]

No watch parts or anything. Just a big chunk of gold on your wrist.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyty8riJfG1qk5lz9o1_500.gif

[Easy 6]

This Chauncey guy cant be real, gotta be a mult.

[Buzz]

This Chauncey guy cant be real, gotta be a mult.

My guess has always been Donger.

[Easy 6]

My guess has always been Donger.

This guy makes Donger seem like some old salt of the earth river rat who goes by "taterbug" or "skeeter" IMO.

[Baby Lee]

Now THAT looks entertaining... I'll be seeing if I can find it online soon.

If you are THAT interested, this was inspired by a previous documentary.

Jesco White: The Dancing Outlaw

It's there full and free on youtube. And as good a documentary was the sequel, IMO.

tWaWWofVW is a case study in hedonism and decline, but I think Jesco has more insights into how a family can decline like that.

An American story of how getting a lot of wealth and fame for a fucking ridiculous reason can ruin a lot of people psychologically. I mean, if someone you know is ridiculously rich for tapping his feet, and you're trudging along without a lot of brainpower, the world loses a lot sense.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/9VdHF714ysM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Basically they would be completely anonymous white trash except a couple of their ancesters could dance.

I think the grandfather might have even be on Hee Haw or Ed Sullivan or something.

[Easy 6]

If you are THAT interested, this was inspired by a previous documentary.

Jesco White: The Dancing Outlaw

It's there full and free on youtube.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/9VdHF714ysM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Basically they would be completely anonymous white trace except a couple of their ancesters could dance.

I think the grandfather might have even be on Hee Haw or Ed Sullivan or something.

Oh I'm definitely thinking any show based on these people will be a riot, but Alien is on TCM right now commercial free, love this movie... tomorrow sounds like a good time, no football.

[Buzz]

New Donger maybe, old Donger no. Donger lightened up with the superior attitude after getting flamed a few times but his English background is what makes me think it's him.

[Baby Lee]

Oh I'm definitely thinking any show based on these people will be a riot, but Alien is on TCM right now commercial free, love this movie... tomorrow sounds like a good time, no football.

That's a good choice, but I have it on BR, so I have a little more choices.

OTH, I was watching True Detective, Ep 2, which is amazing, then I got sucied back in by Jesco, and it's now 10 min in.

BTW, brace yourself if you don't have a firm grasp on what a shotgun house is.

[Baby Lee]

New Donger maybe, old Donger no. Donger lightened up with the superior attitude after getting flamed a few times but his English background is what makes me think it's him.

It has a distinct Marty's Manwhore sensibility to me.

Very meta and dedicated, a CP veteran who wanted to let his freak flag fly in anonymity.

Oh, and who can forget Gannonbrator, dedicated to making Denise miserable.

Speaking of which, I don't exactly MISS Denise. But is she still alive? Her and Pam provided a lot of drama, but I'd hate to think either of them went the way of Logical.

[GloryDayz]

This is one wild thread!

[warpaint*]

This evening I found myself out and about drinking at a local casual dining restaurant and observing my fellow patrons, and their eating habits/manners are absolutely disgraceful.

It isn't that surprising to me, either, that the most shameful offenders were all southerners. The waiters are also typically ignorant and unhelpful.

When ordering, it is very common for a family of southerners to yell out or interrupt each other. I observed many men cutting off their wives, or ordering before/for them.

The typical southerner (male/female) generally does not consume many greens, and/or vegetables, and they primarily subsist off of carbs and starches. While ordering their salads most southerners will ask to hold the tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, but ask for extra croutons, extra bacon, extra cheese...

At establishments that provide free bread, the southerners will typically consume in excess of 2 of these loafs. The average seems to be 1 for non-southern families of 2-3.

Many southerner families will ask the waiter to provide them with ranch dressing to dip their bread into. While sitting at the bar it seems this was very popular. Absolutely horrifying--I was shocked and appalled.

On pasta dishes that would normally contain vegetables, the southerners will have them removed. Sometimes using their fingers if the waiter forgot to take them off!

Fried items are very popular amongst them. As is ranch dressing.

Most southerners seem to prefer their steaks cooked well done/ Most steaks that I observed or heard ordered in the general area were cooked well done. Sure a couple were medium-well, but these were offset by the well well-dones.

After spending a bit of time in the south, I can say without a doubt that not only are the stereotypes accurate, they are understated. Southerners, for the most part, are the most intellectually lazy, xenophobic, racist, ignorant, and insular people in the world. Worst of all, they take pride in their backwardness--under the foolish guise that they are "self reliant" or something like that.

They are overweight, uneducated, and horrendously lazy. When a family of southerners goes out to eat, they have the driver drop them off at the front of the restaurant instead of walking; considering they are typically obese this fear of exercise is dumbfounding.

Because they know their intelligence is no match for outsiders, they resist all contact with them and have developed a fear and hatred for those not like them.

They will be the downfall of America.


Bless your heart.

[GloryDayz]

This evening I found myself out and about drinking at a local casual dining restaurant and observing my fellow patrons, and their eating habits/manners are absolutely disgraceful.

It isn't that surprising to me, either, that the most shameful offenders were all southerners. The waiters are also typically ignorant and unhelpful.

When ordering, it is very common for a family of southerners to yell out or interrupt each other. I observed many men cutting off their wives, or ordering before/for them.

The typical southerner (male/female) generally does not consume many greens, and/or vegetables, and they primarily subsist off of carbs and starches. While ordering their salads most southerners will ask to hold the tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, but ask for extra croutons, extra bacon, extra cheese...

At establishments that provide free bread, the southerners will typically consume in excess of 2 of these loafs. The average seems to be 1 for non-southern families of 2-3.

Many southerner families will ask the waiter to provide them with ranch dressing to dip their bread into. While sitting at the bar it seems this was very popular. Absolutely horrifying--I was shocked and appalled.

On pasta dishes that would normally contain vegetables, the southerners will have them removed. Sometimes using their fingers if the waiter forgot to take them off!

Fried items are very popular amongst them. As is ranch dressing.

Most southerners seem to prefer their steaks cooked well done/ Most steaks that I observed or heard ordered in the general area were cooked well done. Sure a couple were medium-well, but these were offset by the well well-dones.

After spending a bit of time in the south, I can say without a doubt that not only are the stereotypes accurate, they are understated. Southerners, for the most part, are the most intellectually lazy, xenophobic, racist, ignorant, and insular people in the world. Worst of all, they take pride in their backwardness--under the foolish guise that they are "self reliant" or something like that.

They are overweight, uneducated, and horrendously lazy. When a family of southerners goes out to eat, they have the driver drop them off at the front of the restaurant instead of walking; considering they are typically obese this fear of exercise is dumbfounding.

Because they know their intelligence is no match for outsiders, they resist all contact with them and have developed a fear and hatred for those not like them.

They will be the downfall of America.

You might want to consider staying home and warming up some clam chowder and eating it at the north end of your coffee table.

[whoman69]

I thought this was going to be about South America

[Red Dawg]

I have to agree with all of it. The southern states suck as a whole and are trashy. People included.

[Easy 6]

New Donger maybe, old Donger no. Donger lightened up with the superior attitude after getting flamed a few times but his English background is what makes me think it's him.

This may sound crazy, but I'm thinking its Clays creation... "Chauncey" almost never posts, but Clay mentions how the guy should chime in here and minutes later, voila.

[Easy 6]

BTW, brace yourself if you don't have a firm grasp on what a shotgun house is.

Thats a house where you can kill everyone in it with one shotgun blast.

[cdcox]

Not only southern Missouri but also central Missouri and into Kansas as well. Nothing compares to morels cooked by someone that knows how. Crappie and morels. God I want spring to get here.

We used to hunt them at N. Prospect and and 64th Street back when that was woods.

[J Diddy]

Is it too early to reaffirm my belief that Clay is a raging homosexual?

[Baby Lee]

Thats a house where you can kill everyone in it with one shotgun blast.

I think literally it refers to a house where you can stand in the front door frame and shoot the back door.

[Hammock Parties]

Is it too early to reaffirm my belief that Clay is a raging homosexual?

You may want to discuss this issue with my girlfriend.

[Hammock Parties]

Yeah, screw whoever wrote this garbage, I'd rather hang out with "southern trash" than this snobified city pussy 8 days a week.

ROFL

Holy shit dude.

I had dinner at Hi-Boy in Independence, MO tonight. It was trashy and excellent.

[Baby Lee]

You may want to discuss this issue with my fabulous beard.

FYP ;)

[Hammock Parties]

Good breeding dictates that I don't comment on my lessers. However, I will say that the charm of distance was never more appreciated vis-à-vis the relative location of the Northeast vs. the South. 'Nuff said (using the vernacular of the South and their unpleasant tendency to drop vowels and sometimes consonants) owing, I suppose, to lack of education or habitual laziness.

As always, your lightest touch commands obedience.

Hail.

[Donger]

My guess has always been Donger.

:spock:

[Easy 6]

ROFL

Holy shit dude.

I had dinner at Hi-Boy in Independence, MO tonight. It was trashy and excellent.

Wait, you didnt actually write this, correct? I thought it was something you stole from reddit and posted for the reactions...

[Al Bundy]

Good breeding dictates that I don't comment on my lessers. However, I will say that the charm of distance was never more appreciated vis-à-vis the relative location of the Northeast vs. the South. 'Nuff said (using the vernacular of the South and their unpleasant tendency to drop vowels and sometimes consonants) owing, I suppose, to lack of education or habitual laziness.

Who the fuck is this guy?

[Donger]

Who the **** is this guy?

A GoChiefs mult

[Bob Dole]

Most appalling is the number of outright incorrect observations in the OP.

[Cannibal]

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/be/be066a706e916d792c3809b383f6bc2214e9c0cc990e78dace30b14ac4e306a8.jpg

[Hammock Parties]

A GoChiefs mult

Wrong again, old bean.

[Donger]

Wrong again, old bean.

You're probably right. He's far too eloquent and refined to be you.

[Hammock Parties]

You're probably right. He's far too eloquent and refined to be you.

I actually fixed some of the piece's grammar.

[Donger]

I actually fixed some of the piece's grammar.

What does that have to do with Chauncey's superiority over you?

[Hammock Parties]

What does that have to do with Chauncey's superiority over you?

Oh, we're talking about Chauncey now. OK.

[BucEyedPea]

I see lots of kale, collards, okra and beans or black eyed peas being consumed--usually cooked with lots of lard though. I work in Georgia, NC and Virginia enough.

[beach tribe]

I see lots of kale, collards, okra and beans or black eyed peas being consumed--usually cooked with lots of lard though. I work in Georgia, NC and Virginia enough.

Lard?

Where the fuck do you eat that still uses lard?

[Hammock Parties]

Lard?

Where the fuck do you eat that still uses lard?

Actually lard is healthier for you than a lot of cooking oils and butter. A lot of places probably still use it. Tastes better too.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/lard-may-not-be-as-bad-for-your-health-as-the-fats-detractors-say/2013/04/15/874490a0-9bb5-11e2-9bda-edd1a7fb557d_story.html

[Easy 6]

One of the best southern foods I've ever had was one of the simplest, after 3 weeks in the field, the civilian ladies in the chow hall at Ft. Polk LA grilled up a mix of cabbage, carrot and onion in a bit of butter until semi-soft... I'm telling you, that stuff is DELICIOUS.

[Hammock Parties]

One of the best southern foods I've ever had was one of the simplest, after 3 weeks in the field, the civilian ladies in the chow hall at Ft. Polk LA grilled up a mix of cabbage, carrot and onion in a bit of butter until semi-soft... I'm telling you, that stuff is DELICIOUS.

Could dip in ranch, too.

[GloryDayz]

I've lived in the North (Connecticut), the midwest (KC), the west (Coronado and Vallejo/Napa), the south (Va. Beach, Charleston), Europe (Rome), and Asia Japan), and while diet may play into life and its longevity, stress is the #1 killer.

So accents aside, lose the stress, be happy, exercise a little, and live a long life.

The rest of the argument is just comical. For every joke about the south (as a geogrhical reference) there's a 100:1 ration of northerners who move south (when they can) than the other way around. So they may not like their food or accent, but they seem to move to "it" more than the other way around.

Having a region of "IT professionals" who work for me that stretches from Fargo/Iron Mountain to Houston, Biloxi and Pensacola, I have a LOT of people looking to move from the north to the south (we can work virtually!!), and exactly one who moved north (to care for a sick mother). Interesting stats huh?

[J Diddy]

You may want to discuss this issue with my girlfriend.

I dunno if it would help. The fact that she is your girlfriend is pretty damning.

[Easy 6]

Could dip in ranch, too.

So did you write the op or steal it?

[Hammock Parties]

So did you write the op or steal it?

I'll never tell.

I really DON'T like country music, though.

[J Diddy]

So did you write the op or steal it?

The concept of creating/stealing is a fuzzy line that he's not yet learned to maneuver.

[Hammock Parties]

You dumbasses. It's the internet. I shared this with you because I love you.

[Tombstone RJ]

So did you write the op or steal it?

are you really this dumb? he even provided the friggen link.

[J Diddy]

are you really this dumb? he even provided the friggen link.

Bashing Clay is a CP tradition. Get on the train or don't, it's your choice; however, don't try to stop it.

[Baby Lee]

I've lived in the North (Connecticut), the midwest (KC), the west (Coronado and Vallejo/Napa), the south (Va. Beach, Charleston), Europe (Rome), and Asia Japan), and while diet may play into life and its longevity, stress is the #1 killer.

So accents aside, lose the stress, be happy, exercise a little, and live a long life.

The rest of the argument is just comical. For every joke about the south (as a geogrhical reference) there's a 100:1 ration of northerners who move south (when they can) than the other way around. So they may not like their food or accent, but they seem to move to "it" more than the other way around.

Having a region of "IT professionals" who work for me that stretches from Fargo/Iron Mountain to Houston, Biloxi and Pensacola, I have a LOT of people looking to move from the north to the south (we can work virtually!!), and exactly one who moved north (to care for a sick mother). Interesting stats huh?

Of course a southern sympathizer would think 'a LOT" is a statistic. ROFL

[Tombstone RJ]

Bashing Clay is a CP tradition. Get on the train or don't, it's your choice; however, don't try to stop it.

well alrighty then

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I've lived in the North (Connecticut), the midwest (KC), the west (Coronado and Vallejo/Napa), the south (Va. Beach, Charleston), Europe (Rome), and Asia Japan), and while diet may play into life and its longevity, stress is the #1 killer.

So accents aside, lose the stress, be happy, exercise a little, and live a long life.

The rest of the argument is just comical. For every joke about the south (as a geogrhical reference) there's a 100:1 ration of northerners who move south (when they can) than the other way around. So they may not like their food or accent, but they seem to move to "it" more than the other way around.

Having a region of "IT professionals" who work for me that stretches from Fargo/Iron Mountain to Houston, Biloxi and Pensacola, I have a LOT of people looking to move from the north to the south (we can work virtually!!), and exactly one who moved north (to care for a sick mother). Interesting stats huh?

Weather. The end.

[Hammock Parties]

are you really this dumb? he even provided the friggen link.

Actually, no. That's my reddit account. I posted it there to see if it could gain a little more traction.

I copied it from a private forum. As far as I can tell it hasn't made the rounds of the internet. Maybe it's not that funny, but I think it's a hoot.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Of course a southern sympathizer would think 'a LOT" is a statistic. ROFL

ROFL

[MatriculatingHank]

The sign says all you need to know. You've come to the right place...
http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/04/ca/46/d0/greens-beans-and-taters.jpg

[Hammock Parties]

However, certainly this thread is more interesting than T-Post Tom's awful bullshit, Scott Free's latest musical youtube embeds or George Blowfish's e-mail of the day copypasta!

[Baby Lee]

The sign says all you need to know. You've come to the right place...
http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/04/ca/46/d0/greens-beans-and-taters.jpg

ROFL - my aunt used to say 'maters, taters and gators' Like way way before 'Cars' made Mater a name for a pickup truck.

And the wild thing is that, after bastardizing tomatoes and potatoes, gators was supposed to be southern slang for.

spaghetti

[Baby Lee]

However, certainly this thread is more interesting than T-Post Tom's awful bullshit, Scott Free's latest musical youtube embeds or George Blowfish's e-mail of the day copypasta!

Trolling actually catches fish? Alert the media.

Thanks for the journalism Dong Gabber.

http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013730/rs_560x415-130830150852-1024..miley-cyrus-twerk-vma.ls.83013.jpg

[Easy 6]

are you really this dumb? he even provided the friggen link.

Why we put up with air thieves like you here I'll never know, have you ever thought about smashing into a bridge abuttment at 90 mph? You should.

However, certainly this thread is more interesting than T-Post Tom's awful bullshit, Scott Free's latest musical youtube embeds or George Blowfish's e-mail of the day copypasta!

What music embeds? My tastes are flawless you knave.

[Tombstone RJ]

Actually, no. That's my reddit account. I posted it there to see if it could gain a little more traction.

I copied it from a private forum. As far as I can tell it hasn't made the rounds of the internet. Maybe it's not that funny, but I think it's a hoot.

ok

[Tombstone RJ]

Why we put up with air thieves like you here I'll never know, have you ever thought about smashing into a bridge abuttment at 90 mph? You should.

only if you show me how.

[Hammock Parties]

What music embeds? My tastes are flawless you knave.

Typically any thread where someone is just posting music embeds is completely worthless.

[J Diddy]

Typically any thread where someone is just posting music embeds is completely worthless.

Brokeback Wendler.

[Easy 6]

Typically any thread where someone is just posting music embeds is completely worthless.

*scribbles note to self* make sure to ramp up production of music only posts.

[GloryDayz]

Of course a southern sympathizer would think 'a LOT" is a statistic. ROFL

OK, twelve people to move from the north the the south, and one to move from the south to the north (all approved BTW). 12:1 in that "where they choose to live when they have the choice" category, good enough to make a point that people from "up north" seem to be all too willing to give up their northern LAT/LONG for a southern LAT/LONG after talking shit about it for for so long?

[GloryDayz]

ROFL - my aunt used to say 'maters, taters and gators' Like way way before 'Cars' made Mater a name for a pickup truck.

And the wild thing is that, after bastardizing tomatoes and potatoes, gators was supposed to be southern slang for.

spaghetti

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTpj7JD1eqAiqwXQyBMNjSri3fvKkEcjjsiB4TDyIazJSgKLUjqgw

What's next, the argument over soda, a "coke", or pop???

Sooner or later Uncle Buck will enter the discussion along with cheese and "real" brats...

http://kirbymuseum.org/blogs/dynamics/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2012/12/Yawning-Baby-610x250.jpg

[J Diddy]

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTpj7JD1eqAiqwXQyBMNjSri3fvKkEcjjsiB4TDyIazJSgKLUjqgw

What's next, the argument over soda, a "coke", or pop???

Sooner or later Uncle Buck will enter the discussion along with cheese and "real" brats...

http://kirbymuseum.org/blogs/dynamics/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2012/12/Yawning-Baby-610x250.jpg

That discussion could get downright ugly around here.

[TimBone]

One of the best southern foods I've ever had was one of the simplest, after 3 weeks in the field, the civilian ladies in the chow hall at Ft. Polk LA grilled up a mix of cabbage, carrot and onion in a bit of butter until semi-soft... I'm telling you, that stuff is DELICIOUS.

Well, I'm here now and I can tell you from experience, the chow hall sucks. Budget cuts have run them ragged.

[RealSNR]

You know what I fucking hate about people from the South? Their obsession with weather during the winter.

If you talk about living in Minnesota or Wisconsin or Canada, all they can say is, "Yeah, but it sure does get cold up there!"

No fucking shit. So what? People from anywhere south of about Omaha in the United States have this obsession with winter like it's totally debilitating if the temperature ever drops below freezing. No, it's not debilitating. You're just a fat pussy.

You know what? The North isn't too cold. The South is too hot. Your area of the country also has to deal with a temperature extreme for an entire season, yet you act like yours is perfectly normal and natural, and that it's totally preferable by EVERYBODY. Yeah, why would anybody want to live in a part of the country that gets shellacked by those awful cold snaps when they can live in an area of the country that treats the summer as one giant heat advisory warning? Or an area of the country that sees a tornado fucking WIPE OUT an entire small city every goddamn year? That sounds SOOOO much nicer.

Take your supposedly "tolerant" weather and shove it up your ass. Go die of heat exhaustion. Live in a climate that fosters all kinds of animal life that can kill you. Know what I'm going to do? Buy a fucking winter coat and some gloves. And just like that, I conquered winter.

Eat cum.

[notorious]

I live in an area where it gets very cold, pretty hot, and we have tornadoes that wipe out entire towns.


WTF am I doing here? :eek:

[saphojunkie]

You know what I ****ing hate about people from the South? Their obsession with weather during the winter.

If you talk about living in Minnesota or Wisconsin or Canada, all they can say is, "Yeah, but it sure does get cold up there!"

No ****ing shit. So what? People from anywhere south of about Omaha in the United States have this obsession with winter like it's totally debilitating if the temperature ever drops below freezing. No, it's not debilitating. You're just a fat pussy.

You know what? The North isn't too cold. The South is too hot. Your area of the country also has to deal with a temperature extreme for an entire season, yet you act like yours is perfectly normal and natural, and that it's totally preferable by EVERYBODY. Yeah, why would anybody want to live in a part of the country that gets shellacked by those awful cold snaps when they can live in an area of the country that treats the summer as one giant heat advisory warning? Or an area of the country that sees a tornado ****ing WIPE OUT an entire small city every goddamn year? That sounds SOOOO much nicer.

Take your supposedly "tolerant" weather and shove it up your ass. Go die of heat exhaustion. Live in a climate that fosters all kinds of animal life that can kill you. Know what I'm going to do? Buy a ****ing winter coat and some gloves. And just like that, I conquered winter.

Eat cum.

I totally agree. That's why us Californians don't say anything about it. We just silently pity you.

[RealSNR]

I live in an area where it gets very cold, pretty hot, and we have tornadoes that wipe out entire towns.


WTF am I doing here? :eek:

You're probably living in an area of the country that makes the most sense for your family, job, and lifestyle.

*gasp* Imagine that! That people wouldn't give a shit about something like weather!

[King_Chief_Fan]

However, certainly this thread is more interesting than T-Post Tom's awful bullshit, Scott Free's latest musical youtube embeds or George Blowfish's e-mail of the day copypasta!

as usual.....wrong

[Easy 6]

Well, I'm here now and I can tell you from experience, the chow hall sucks. Budget cuts have run them ragged.

You're at Ft. Polk? They're still doing JRTC down there?

[KC native]

You know what I fucking hate about people from the South? Their obsession with weather during the winter.

If you talk about living in Minnesota or Wisconsin or Canada, all they can say is, "Yeah, but it sure does get cold up there!"

No fucking shit. So what? People from anywhere south of about Omaha in the United States have this obsession with winter like it's totally debilitating if the temperature ever drops below freezing. No, it's not debilitating. You're just a fat pussy.

You know what? The North isn't too cold. The South is too hot. Your area of the country also has to deal with a temperature extreme for an entire season, yet you act like yours is perfectly normal and natural, and that it's totally preferable by EVERYBODY. Yeah, why would anybody want to live in a part of the country that gets shellacked by those awful cold snaps when they can live in an area of the country that treats the summer as one giant heat advisory warning? Or an area of the country that sees a tornado fucking WIPE OUT an entire small city every goddamn year? That sounds SOOOO much nicer.

Take your supposedly "tolerant" weather and shove it up your ass. Go die of heat exhaustion. Live in a climate that fosters all kinds of animal life that can kill you. Know what I'm going to do? Buy a fucking winter coat and some gloves. And just like that, I conquered winter.

Eat cum.

LMAO

[Hammock Parties]

You know what I fucking hate about people from the South? Their obsession with weather during the winter.

If you talk about living in Minnesota or Wisconsin or Canada, all they can say is, "Yeah, but it sure does get cold up there!"

No fucking shit. So what? People from anywhere south of about Omaha in the United States have this obsession with winter like it's totally debilitating if the temperature ever drops below freezing. No, it's not debilitating. You're just a fat pussy.

You know what? The North isn't too cold. The South is too hot. Your area of the country also has to deal with a temperature extreme for an entire season, yet you act like yours is perfectly normal and natural, and that it's totally preferable by EVERYBODY. Yeah, why would anybody want to live in a part of the country that gets shellacked by those awful cold snaps when they can live in an area of the country that treats the summer as one giant heat advisory warning? Or an area of the country that sees a tornado fucking WIPE OUT an entire small city every goddamn year? That sounds SOOOO much nicer.

Take your supposedly "tolerant" weather and shove it up your ass. Go die of heat exhaustion. Live in a climate that fosters all kinds of animal life that can kill you. Know what I'm going to do? Buy a fucking winter coat and some gloves. And just like that, I conquered winter.

Eat cum.

Stated so eloquently for a ruffian.

[Bump]

The OP descibed a shit ton of people in Kansas. I don't have much experience in the South, but that is pretty accurate for Kansas people.

This sounds arrogant. But living in both places for an extended amount of time, I can say with confidence that the stupid people here in Massachusetts are far more intelligent than the average people in Kansas.

[blaise]

The OP descibed a shit ton of people in Kansas. I don't have much experience in the South, but that is pretty accurate for Kansas people.

This sounds arrogant. But living in both places for an extended amount of time, I can say with confidence that the stupid people here in Massachusetts are far more intelligent than the average people in Kansas.

Are you normally recognized as the dumbest ass in the state there?

[ptlyon]

Are you normally recognized as the dumbest ass in the state there?

ROFL

[|Zach|]

The OP descibed a shit ton of people in Kansas. I don't have much experience in the South, but that is pretty accurate for Kansas people.

This sounds arrogant. But living in both places for an extended amount of time, I can say with confidence that the stupid people here in Massachusetts are far more intelligent than the average people in Kansas.

You know we have read your posts and take that into consideration when you say such things. Doesn't inspire a lot of authority.

[|Zach|]

It is interesting in the South....you think of it as this place with home cooking but my experience has been sort of the opposite. There are billions of chain restaurants everywhere and it seems like they are all full all the time. My mom actually moved to Mississippi near some other family I have out there and this trend amazed her.

[GloryDayz]

You know what I fucking hate about people from the South? Their obsession with weather during the winter.

If you talk about living in Minnesota or Wisconsin or Canada, all they can say is, "Yeah, but it sure does get cold up there!"

No fucking shit. So what? People from anywhere south of about Omaha in the United States have this obsession with winter like it's totally debilitating if the temperature ever drops below freezing. No, it's not debilitating. You're just a fat pussy.

You know what? The North isn't too cold. The South is too hot. Your area of the country also has to deal with a temperature extreme for an entire season, yet you act like yours is perfectly normal and natural, and that it's totally preferable by EVERYBODY. Yeah, why would anybody want to live in a part of the country that gets shellacked by those awful cold snaps when they can live in an area of the country that treats the summer as one giant heat advisory warning? Or an area of the country that sees a tornado fucking WIPE OUT an entire small city every goddamn year? That sounds SOOOO much nicer.

Take your supposedly "tolerant" weather and shove it up your ass. Go die of heat exhaustion. Live in a climate that fosters all kinds of animal life that can kill you. Know what I'm going to do? Buy a fucking winter coat and some gloves. And just like that, I conquered winter.

Eat cum.

You for got crotch-rot and fungus!

And let a Hurry-cane come there way, and the national guard is fishing them out of their swamps, FEMA's giving them a deluxe camper, and somebody's getting sued for being racist!

But in Fargo, they deal with a crisis by setting the thermostats to 60 (because of the gaddammed Canadians)! Southerners are pretty sissy!

[HonestChieffan]

The OP descibed a shit ton of people in Kansas. I don't have much experience in the South, but that is pretty accurate for Kansas people.

This sounds arrogant. But living in both places for an extended amount of time, I can say with confidence that the stupid people here in Massachusetts are far more intelligent than the average people in Kansas.

On what basis do you feel you are the dumbest person in the state?

[TimBone]

You're at Ft. Polk? They're still doing JRTC down there?

Yes sir, they are. I'm not here for that though. I'm here permanently. I do air traffic control on the airfield. As a soldier from 2003-2006, and now as a civilian since 2007.

[TimBone]

You know what I fucking hate about people from the South? Their obsession with weather during the winter.

If you talk about living in Minnesota or Wisconsin or Canada, all they can say is, "Yeah, but it sure does get cold up there!"

No fucking shit. So what? People from anywhere south of about Omaha in the United States have this obsession with winter like it's totally debilitating if the temperature ever drops below freezing. No, it's not debilitating. You're just a fat pussy.

You know what? The North isn't too cold. The South is too hot. Your area of the country also has to deal with a temperature extreme for an entire season, yet you act like yours is perfectly normal and natural, and that it's totally preferable by EVERYBODY. Yeah, why would anybody want to live in a part of the country that gets shellacked by those awful cold snaps when they can live in an area of the country that treats the summer as one giant heat advisory warning? Or an area of the country that sees a tornado fucking WIPE OUT an entire small city every goddamn year? That sounds SOOOO much nicer.

Take your supposedly "tolerant" weather and shove it up your ass. Go die of heat exhaustion. Live in a climate that fosters all kinds of animal life that can kill you. Know what I'm going to do? Buy a fucking winter coat and some gloves. And just like that, I conquered winter.

Eat cum.

This is a great post. I fucking hate the summers down here. I have hated them all my life. I'd much rather do the extreme winter than the fucking painfully hot, humid, miserable summers.

[TimBone]

Speaking of southerners and winter though...I got a call from work this afternoon telling me they are shutting down the airfield tomorrow for extreme temperatures. So, free day off with pay. I kinda liked that.

[Fire Me Boy!]

This is a great post. I fucking hate the summers down here. I have hated them all my life. I'd much rather do the extreme winter than the fucking painfully hot, humid, miserable summers.

Since moving to the South a little over five years ago, my tolerance for heat has gone way up, while tolerance for cold has almost disappeared.

[TimBone]

Since moving to the South a little over five years ago, my tolerance for heat has gone way up, while tolerance for cold has almost disappeared.

Where at in the south, if you don't mind me asking?

[Fire Me Boy!]

Where at in the south, if you don't mind me asking?

South Carolina, then Montgomery, AL, area.

[TimBone]

South Carolina, then Montgomery, AL, area.

I was in Troy, AL. just south of Montgomery in 06-07. It gets hot as hell there too. Lots of pretty college girls in Troy make up for it though.

[TimBone]

It's the humidity with the heat that really kills...and the humidity here in Louisiana is insane.

[stevieray]

I have a friend who lives in Alabama between Mobile and Pensacola . He loves it.

I've lived in hot, warm and cold states...meh..you adjust accordingly.

[stevieray]

It's the humidity with the heat that really kills...and the humidity here in Louisiana is insane.

sweat out those impurities!

[Fire Me Boy!]

I have a friend who lives in Alabama between Mobile and Pensacola . He loves it.

I've lived in hot, warm and cold states...meh..you adjust accordingly.

Pretty much this. I go visit family in MO in winter and freeze my ass off; they visit me in summer and sweat their asses off.

[Baby Lee]

It's the humidity with the heat that really kills...and the humidity here in Louisiana is insane.

Whereabouts you at? Got fam in Duck Dynasty central, like streets closing in the neighborhood for shooting close\

Ironically their niece down there is already practicing soccer the year.

[stevieray]

Pretty much this. I go visit family in MO in winter and freeze my ass off; they visit me in summer and sweat their asses off.

:thumb:

right now it's...'die winter die!" later it will be.."can't wait till fall gets here"

[TimBone]

Whereabouts you at? Got fam in Duck Dynasty central, like streets closing in the neighborhood for shooting close\

Ironically their niece down there is already practicing soccer the year.

Middle of nowhere, Louisiana. Fort Polk/Leesville/Deridder area. 3+ hours from any city worth a damn. Duck Dynasty fellas are Shreveport area, right?

[Baby Lee]

Middle of nowhere, Louisiana. Fort Polk/Leesville/Deridder area. 3+ hours from any city worth a damn. Duck Dynasty fellas are Shreveport area, right?

West Monroe, RIP Delaney.

[GloryDayz]

Since moving to the South a little over five years ago, my tolerance for heat has gone way up, while tolerance for cold has almost disappeared.

We're old... But hot is hot. My experience is that once folks get there they run from one air conditioned place to another. Much like those up north who run from one heated place to another, those down south live their life in seach of the next man-made climate change.

That being said, There are some times I can deal with some 80-degree, low humidity, days...

[TimBone]

West Monroe, RIP Delaney.

Monroe...close enough.

[Baby Lee]

Monroe...close enough.

Chennault Park, but you could throw a baseball from West Monroe to Monroe.

[TimBone]

Chennault Park, but you could throw a baseball from West Monroe to Monroe.

Ahh....I just meant it was close enough in relation to Shreveport.

[NewChief]

We're old... But hot is hot. My experience is that once folks get there they run from one air conditioned place to another. Much like those up north who run from one heated place to another, those down south live their life in seach of the next man-made climate change.

That being said, There are some times I can deal with some 80-degree, low humidity, days...

Run from one body of water to another. Summer is spent on pools, lakes and rivers in Arkansas. It IS nasty if you work outside all summer though. I spent quite a few years working construction, building pools, and other outside jobs. Both if my brothers still do it. It's brutal. I've also detassled corn in Iowa, and it isn't much better, though.

I'll never forget one day in Iowa when it was just brutal hot. We pulled into town and saw signs referring to snowmobile parking. It boggled my mind that it could be that hot in the summer then cold enough in the winter to warrant snowmobiles. Talk about the worst of both worlds.

[GloryDayz]

Run from one body of water to another. Summer is spent on pools, lakes and rivers in Arkansas. It IS nasty if you work outside all summer though. I spent quite a few years working construction, building pools, and other outside jobs. Both if my brothers still do it. It's brutal. I've also detassled corn in Iowa, and it isn't much better, though.

I'll never forget one day in Iowa when it was just brutal hot. We pulled into town and saw signs referring to snowmobile parking. It boggled my mind that it could be that hot in the summer then cold enough in the winter to warrant snowmobiles. Talk about the worst of both worlds.

I spent years with the Navy introducing me to the next bad way to experience the cold of the Arctic to the heat of Central America.

I was young, it was awesome... All things being equal, except for shitting, the heat was more bothersome than the cold.

[NewChief]

I spent years with the Navy introducing me to the next bad way to experience the cold of the Arctic to the heat of Central America.

I was young, it was awesome... All things being equal, except for shitting, the heat was more bothersome than the cold.

I don't mind the heat as much as the bugs that go along with it here in Arkansas. My oldest son has really bad reactions to mosquito and tick bites as well, which has added a whole new problem to summer. I was just rubbing his head tonight while putting him to bed and thinking how smooth his scalp was because it's winter with no biting pests. Once summer comes, he will have festering sores all over his head and body. It sucks.

[GloryDayz]

I don't mind the heat as much as the bugs that go along with it here in Arkansas. My oldest son has really bad reactions to mosquito and tick bites as well, which has added a whole new problem to summer. I was just rubbing his head tonight while putting him to bed and thinking how smooth his scalp was because it's winter with no biting pests. Once summer comes, he will have festering sores all over his head and body. It sucks.

Indeed... Not that it's perfect, I spray the living crap out of my yard (and as far into the neighbor's as I can get. But yeah, I feel your pain. But even my MN and ND folks have been saying that last summer was a particularly bad year for them. I know we sent some kids up to Ely, MN (Scouting's Northern Tier High Adventure program, so more seasoned campers), and they got pretty well bitten.

I blame global warming, assault rifles and the lack of DDT...

[Chieftain58]

Why you worrying about what other people do? mind your own business

[Easy 6]

Yes sir, they are. I'm not here for that though. I'm here permanently. I do air traffic control on the airfield. As a soldier from 2003-2006, and now as a civilian since 2007.

Very cool, Mr. McTimmerson... and I couldnt. agree. more. about the heat down there, I've been to some hot places, but that place stands head and shoulders above the rest.

It gets thrown around too much, but if ever the phrase "air so thick you could cut it with a knife" applied to a place, its there... its truly unGodly.

[loochy]

Why you worrying about what other people do? mind your own business

because it hurts his livelihood when the other person takes stuff