Seriously, FUCK retail.

[Wallcrawler]

I firmly believe that anyone who has ever worked retail at any point in their life has had to have had their faith in the intelligence of the human race badly shaken.

We're so advanced, top of the food chain, all that good stuff. However, I swear to everything that is holy that the average human loses minimum 40% of their I.Q. capacity upon walking through the doors of a retail establishment.

You could be standing there, sticking out like a sore thumb dressed in the required uniform that makes it glaringly obvious that you belong to the staff of that store and still yet, the most common question you will hear from customers that need assistance is "Do you work here?". Ive entertained the idea of simply answering "No." to that question and continue working on what I was doing, just to smell the wood burning in their little heads as they wrestle with what I just said in relation to what Im doing.

Decisions on which associate to ask for help boggles the mind quite often as well. We're fully staffed for a Saturday, and there are no less than five other uniformed associates in my vicinity as Im carrying a bigass extension ladder to the back of the store to change out some lights. Does this dumb bitch ask any of the other completely unoccupied associates for assistance? No. She comes directly to me and asks where she could find the country CDs. I point her in the right direction as Im holding this ladder, but that's not quite good enough. She wants me to hold her ****ing hand and show her to the rack. Then she asks "Oh, are you busy?". Nah I just carry this thing around in case I need to reach something at a moment's notice.

Personal responsibility is non existent with customers now. Its something most companies don't even hold customers accountable for anymore. I worked for a Hastings Entertainment store for about five years, and I can tell you that out of the hundreds of thousands of video membership cards I gave out, you would be lucky to see 10% of those cards even used because people never had them when they wanted to rent. Oh its fine, Ill just extend the wait time of everyone in line while I look your dumb ass up on the computer. I remember when if I went to the library without my library card, guess what? I couldn't check out a ****ing book. Now, we just let people wander around like clueless dumbasses and there are no consequences for coming to the checkout unprepared.

"Good afternoon. May I scan your membership card?"

"Naw. I got mah ID."

Well if I were selling you cigarettes or alcohol, or pulling you over for a traffic violation, that would be helpful. Since we're not doing any of those things, I need your ****ing card.


The people that drive in excess of 50 miles with gasoline at 3 bucks a gallon because they could save 25 cents crack me up. We were totally slammed on a weekend and this lady figured out that she could save a quarter if I had told her by doing separate transactions, she would save around a nickel on each pair of items she bought. She had driven 30 miles back, and there was a massive line behind her and she expected me to return every item she bought and then perform five separate trasactions in order to save a quarter. I stared flabbergasted at her for a moment unable to believe she was serious, but she was.

In the end, I refused to do it because of the line, and when she started to protest I reached into my pocket and produced a shiny quarter for her. I put it on the counter and slid it toward her and said "There you go, you're all set." She started to refuse to take the coin and I said to her "Its fine, this is so much faster. There's so many people waiting, and you clearly need this quarter more than I do. Have a nice night."

She storms off in a huff shouting something about principles followed by the laughter and applause of those waiting in line.

Ive seen people smack the credit card reader repeatedly, telling me my piece of shit machine isn't working, only to have me point out that they are swiping an incorrect card, such as an EBT card or a driver's license. Its still of course, somehow my fault that they have their head up their ass.


I worked for a Big Lots for a couple years and this hag comes in and she clearly wanted to be at Wal-Mart. Everything out of her mouth was "At Wal-Mart they have this. At Wal-Mart they have that. At Wal-Mart...At Wal-Mart..At Wal-Mart.....At Wal-Mart....."

When she reached the front of the store, in front of the giant windows, a small scene flashed through my mind of the movie 300, and when this bitch said "At Wal-Mart..." one more time I would shout '"THIS IS...BIG LOTS!!!" and Spartan kick her old ass through the window and out into the parking lot.

I suppose dealing with the dregs of society on a daily basis is my penance for not going to college to better myself.

[King_Chief_Fan]

The customer is always right!!!!!!!!!!!
sounds like you need to change jobs....you went to college to work at Big Lots?

[J Diddy]

I firmly believe that anyone who has ever worked retail at any point in their life has had to have had their faith in the intelligence of the human race badly shaken.

We're so advanced, top of the food chain, all that good stuff. However, I swear to everything that is holy that the average human loses minimum 40% of their I.Q. capacity upon walking through the doors of a retail establishment.

You could be standing there, sticking out like a sore thumb dressed in the required uniform that makes it glaringly obvious that you belong to the staff of that store and still yet, the most common question you will hear from customers that need assistance is "Do you work here?". Ive entertained the idea of simply answering "No." to that question and continue working on what I was doing, just to smell the wood burning in their little heads as they wrestle with what I just said in relation to what Im doing.

Decisions on which associate to ask for help boggles the mind quite often as well. We're fully staffed for a Saturday, and there are no less than five other uniformed associates in my vicinity as Im carrying a bigass extension ladder to the back of the store to change out some lights. Does this dumb bitch ask any of the other completely unoccupied associates for assistance? No. She comes directly to me and asks where she could find the country CDs. I point her in the right direction as Im holding this ladder, but that's not quite good enough. She wants me to hold her ****ing hand and show her to the rack. Then she asks "Oh, are you busy?". Nah I just carry this thing around in case I need to reach something at a moment's notice.

Personal responsibility is non existent with customers now. Its something most companies don't even hold customers accountable for anymore. I worked for a Hastings Entertainment store for about five years, and I can tell you that out of the hundreds of thousands of video membership cards I gave out, you would be lucky to see 10% of those cards even used because people never had them when they wanted to rent. Oh its fine, Ill just extend the wait time of everyone in line while I look your dumb ass up on the computer. I remember when if I went to the library without my library card, guess what? I couldn't check out a ****ing book. Now, we just let people wander around like clueless dumbasses and there are no consequences for coming to the checkout unprepared.

"Good afternoon. May I scan your membership card?"

"Naw. I got mah ID."

Well if I were selling you cigarettes or alcohol, or pulling you over for a traffic violation, that would be helpful. Since we're not doing any of those things, I need your ****ing card.


The people that drive in excess of 50 miles with gasoline at 3 bucks a gallon because they could save 25 cents crack me up. We were totally slammed on a weekend and this lady figured out that she could save a quarter if I had told her by doing separate transactions, she would save around a nickel on each pair of items she bought. She had driven 30 miles back, and there was a massive line behind her and she expected me to return every item she bought and then perform five separate trasactions in order to save a quarter. I stared flabbergasted at her for a moment unable to believe she was serious, but she was.

In the end, I refused to do it because of the line, and when she started to protest I reached into my pocket and produced a shiny quarter for her. I put it on the counter and slid it toward her and said "There you go, you're all set." She started to refuse to take the coin and I said to her "Its fine, this is so much faster. There's so many people waiting, and you clearly need this quarter more than I do. Have a nice night."

She storms off in a huff shouting something about principles followed by the laughter and applause of those waiting in line.

Ive seen people smack the credit card reader repeatedly, telling me my piece of shit machine isn't working, only to have me point out that they are swiping an incorrect card, such as an EBT card or a driver's license. Its still of course, somehow my fault that they have their head up their ass.


I worked for a Big Lots for a couple years and this hag comes in and she clearly wanted to be at Wal-Mart. Everything out of her mouth was "At Wal-Mart they have this. At Wal-Mart they have that. At Wal-Mart...At Wal-Mart..At Wal-Mart.....At Wal-Mart....."

When she reached the front of the store, in front of the giant windows, a small scene flashed through my mind of the movie 300, and when this bitch said "At Wal-Mart..." one more time I would shout [b]'"THIS IS...BIG LOTS!!!" and Spartan kick her old ass through the window and out into the parking lot.

I suppose dealing with the dregs of society on a daily basis is my penance for not going to college to better myself.

It seems to me that you shouldn't have so much contempt for the people that pay your wages.

[The Franchise]

You think retail is bad? Try doing Tech Support or Telemarketing.

[blaise]

I hated retail. Customers could just say anything they wanted, lie, etc. and get away with it a lot of the time.

[ThaVirus]

The food biz is also bad.

[Ceej]

I've worked retail 99% of my life.

I've been working non-retail for the past 3+ months. There's been a heavy burden lifted off of my shoulders. There's really zero stress.

Overall I feel much better and my fiancée loves the new, less stressed Ceej.

[Wallcrawler]

It seems to me that you shouldn't have so much contempt for the people that pay your wages.




This job would be great if it wasn't for the ****ing customers.

.

[ptlyon]

Maybe dante84 can get you a job

[J Diddy]

You think retail is bad? Try doing Tech Support or Telemarketing.

I did telemarketing when I was in high school. Hated it. I wound up getting fired because I told a guy (who to my credit was acting like a dick) that he was being a dick. Supervisor was listening in. I'm pretty sure I made that vein in his forehead pop out 3 inches.

[Wallcrawler]

I've worked retail 99% of my life.

I've been working non-retail for the past 3+ months. There's been a heavy burden lifted off of my shoulders. There's really zero stress.

Overall I feel much better and my fiancée loves the new, less stressed Ceej.

Ahh.

Envy is my sin.


Ive pretty much adopted the "I hate you, but I need your money" approach to customers. Im really not a people person, mostly because people in general tend to be assholes to people they know are unable to defend themselves because they have bills to pay.

Im having a shitty day. Hey, I know, Ill go dump on the guy behind the counter that can do absolutely nothing about what I say.

[The Franchise]

I did telemarketing when I was in high school. Hated it. I wound up getting fired because I told a guy (who to my credit was acting like a dick) that he was being a dick. Supervisor was listening in. I'm pretty sure I made that vein in his forehead pop out 3 inches.

I started out in Credit Card debt collections. I've been jaded since the beginning.

[Big Poppa Payne]

I been in sales for 15 years and what I've learned is this, people in general are assholes. It doesn't matter if you work at Best Buy, sell cars, work at the Red Lobster or work at a bank people are complete assholes and it won't ever change.

[BlackHelicopters]

Ruck Fetail

[Wallcrawler]

I did telemarketing when I was in high school. Hated it. I wound up getting fired because I told a guy (who to my credit was acting like a dick) that he was being a dick. Supervisor was listening in. I'm pretty sure I made that vein in his forehead pop out 3 inches.

I worked for Qwest communications for about a year. Hated every bit of it but it was killer money if you hit your goals.

People are much braver over the phone, and we weren't allowed to hang up. This lady was being a raging whore over her bill and after numerous attempts to explain her bill to her, I was getting nowhere. Finally I asked her if the phone she was using had a flash button on it. She confirmed that it did, and I said well lets try something. Go ahead and press that flash button and let me see what I see on my end when that happens.

She did it, and the conversation was mercifully over. I feel bad for the rep who ended up with her next call in, whoever he/she may be.

[The Franchise]

I've worked multiple jobs in retail. I don't think that the majority of the customers are dumb....I just don't think that they fucking care. That has to be the explanation of why you'll pick something up that is neatly folded and then not even attempt to put it back correctly. I don't expect you to fold it perfectly like I have....but you can go fuck yourself when I see you drop it on the floor and move on to the next pile.

[J Diddy]

I started out in Credit Card debt collections. I've been jaded since the beginning.

Well if you've ever had anyone just repeat fuck you over and over again until you hung up, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you.

[L.A. Chieffan]

Your lady returning her items reminded me of the all time best return.

Long time ago the place I worked at sold the Lance Armstrong yellow bracelets (way before all the ped stuff) anyway this one hag bought one for a dollar and then drove all the way back to the store the next day to return it for a refund. A dollar. For cancer research.

[Ceej]

Ahh.

Envy is my sin.


Ive pretty much adopted the "I hate you, but I need your money" approach to customers. Im really not a people person, mostly because people in general tend to be assholes to people they know are unable to defend themselves because they have bills to pay.

Im having a shitty day. Hey, I know, Ill go dump on the guy behind the counter that can do absolutely nothing about what I say.

Unfortunately there are always going to be those people in re: to retail. People seeing what they can get away with and what they can get for free.

My last job, which I was nearly at for five years gave me so much grey hair. I'm 28 ****ing years old. LMAO

I actually found my new job while working at my old job. My advice to you is always to keep looking. Pretty simple, but had I not found my current job on indeed.com I would have never known it was hiring.

[Easy 6]

Oh yeah, dealing with the public on a daily basis will make you hate humanity.

[The Franchise]

Well if you've ever had anyone just repeat fuck you over and over again until you hung up, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you.

Believe me....I've heard EVERYTHING on the phone. The greatest was when some guy owed thousands of dollars in credit card debt. He was tired of the calls that he was getting. He proceeded to threaten to come down to our office and gun me down in the parking lot. I informed him that I had all of his information....including social security #, address, and DOB. Did he really want to threaten me?

[The Franchise]

Unfortunately there are always going to be those people in re: to retail. People seeing what they can get away with and what they can get for free.

My last job, which I was nearly at for five years gave me so much grey hair. I'm 28 ****ing years old. LMAO

I actually found my new job while working at my old job. My advice to you is always to keep looking. Pretty simple, but had I not found my current job on indeed.com I would have never known it was hiring.

I loved the people who would try and move price tags from item to item in the hopes that we would give it to them at the cheaper price. When they would bitch....I would simply point to the glue and pieces of price tag still stuck under their fingernails.

[Ceej]

I loved the people who would try and move price tags from item to item in the hopes that we would give it to them at the cheaper price. When they would bitch....I would simply point to the glue and pieces of price tag still stuck under their fingernails.

See, that's the thing. People trying to get shit free or a discount. It's like, you want to say, "this isn't a garage sale."

We had people try to switch the price tags of meat at Sams Club when i worked there way back when. Idiots.

[fan4ever]

You think retail is bad? Try doing Tech Support or Telemarketing.

Please. Tech support maybe, but you're complaining about the people you encounter while Telemarketing? That's like a leper complaining about having to be around people with STD's.

[King_Chief_Fan]

I loved the people who would try and move price tags from item to item in the hopes that we would give it to them at the cheaper price. When they would bitch....I would simply point to the glue and pieces of price tag still stuck under their fingernails.ROFL:clap:

[The Franchise]

Please. Tech support maybe, but you're complaining about the people you encounter while Telemarketing? That's like a leper complaining about having to be around people with STD's.

It's a job. Do you think I want to call you when you're eating? Do you think I really want to force sell someone on a Discover credit card? No...I don't. But if it's the only job at that time....I'm going to do it.

[Demonpenz]

Don't worry facebook. I will correct your egregious mistake and add the appropriate amount of stars Mean Girls should get

[Frosty]

I worked some retail early on but figured out in a hurry that I wasn't cut out for it. It sounds like you could contribute some stories to notalwaysright.com.

I will say though, that I'm getting sick to death of membership and store cards. It's getting to where I about need a briefcase to carry them all around with me. Sorry, but if I'm stopping somewhere on the spur of the moment, you are probably going to be looking up my number because I am not going to carry all of those around with me all the time.

[Demonpenz]

In tribute of what Pete Seeger would have wanted I am selling his cd's at 130% markup outside of Burger King

[Demonpenz]

whats the difference between a cactus and a BMW driver. On a cactus the prick is on the outside....

[Lonewolf Ed]

I used to work in a liquor store and one of my fondest memories is of a customer who asked me one evening, "Where are your regular beers?" The cooler had 3 sides to it with product, and generally, it was imports on the left side, some imports and microbrews in the front part, and domestic guzzle brews down the right side. So, I told him that domestics were down the right side of the cooler and he replied, "No, I don't want no foreign beers; I want American!"

After he left, I made a little sign and taped it on the right corner of the cooler reading: UNFOREIGN BEERS ---> and chuckled about it the rest of my shift.

[The Franchise]

I worked some retail early on but figured out in a hurry that I wasn't cut out for it. It sounds like you could contribute some stories to notalwaysright.com.

I will say though, that I'm getting sick to death of membership and store cards. It's getting to where I about need a briefcase to carry them all around with me. Sorry, but if I'm stopping somewhere on the spur of the moment, you are probably going to be looking up my number because I am not going to carry all of those around with me all the time.

I don't carry any of them with me. If you can't look up my number....then I don't need to use it.

I'm nice to pretty much 99% of the cashiers I encounter. I understand you are required to ask if I want to sign up for your program or for your credit card. It's cool....but no.

[Frosty]

I'm nice to pretty much 99% of the cashiers I encounter. I understand you are required to ask if I want to sign up for your program or for your credit card. It's cool....but no.

I try to be nice, too, since I've been there. However, it's tough sometimes. I think God invented self-checkout lanes just for people like me. :)

[Frosty]

I don't carry any of them with me. If you can't look up my number....then I don't need to use it.

I agree. However, Wallcrawler was bitching about having to look up the numbers so I thought I would explain why we probably didn't have them on us at the time.

[HemiEd]

I know you are venting, and I feel for you Wallcrawler, and totally understand what you are saying.

I started out in retail at Dillards in 1980 on straight 6% commission selling big ticket items after 4 years in wholesale. I didn't make a dime my first four days with a young family at home.

Before I left there 3 years later, I loved retail and was having a ball. I learned to "fuck with the customers" and smile all the time, even when you wanted to bash their head in. Play games with them and lead them. Challenge them, as human nature is really pretty true to form.

I returned to wholesale after that and have missed retail since I left it.

It is so much more fun if you let it be.

[Rausch]

I've worked retail 99% of my life.

I've been working non-retail for the past 3+ months. There's been a heavy burden lifted off of my shoulders. There's really zero stress.

Overall I feel much better and my fiancée loves the new, less stressed Ceej.

I work at a level 5 prison and have less problems from the "customers" there than I did working with the public.

Also seems like the more expensive the retail store seems to be the less people try to haggle or complain...

[Ceej]

I work at a level 5 prison and have less problems from the "customers" there than I did working with the public.

Also seems like the more expensive the retail store seems to be the less people try to haggle or complain...

So, what you're really trying to say is you're Tom Hanks? :)

[Rausch]

So, what you're really trying to say is you're Tom Hanks? :)

Um...no.

[Ceej]

Um...no.

Green Mile "joke" fail. :(

[Jimmya]

I respect people that have to work in retail.

[mr. tegu]

I worked at a grocery store for a quite a while during college and I had my fair share of negative encounters with people. Honestly, I would really have to think hard to recall some of them as I never let them get to me.

One small instance I remember was a woman showed me some Oscar Myer deli ham that was not quite as bright a color as the other packages. She was complaining that it shouldn't be out there. I told her we typically try to remove strange items when we see them but in this case the package was still sealed so it was fine.

She complained further insisting that our products need to be better. In response, I told her simply that I don't make the meat. That ended the conversation. A few minutes later one of the managers came back and asked me if I had said that and I explained that I had said it because it is true. He was a friend of mine and we just laughed it off.

Many retail customers will take any opportunity to demean you and take advantage of someone they perceive to be inferior simply because of where they work.

[Frosty]

I worked as a checker at a grocery store for a while and my issue was how dishonest so many people are. It seemed like people were always pulling shit to try to get one over the store. The store I worked for really stressed customer service, so you usually had to let them get away with it too. :grr:

[HonestChieffan]

I firmly believe that anyone who has ever worked retail at any point in their life has had to have had their faith in the intelligence of the human race badly shaken.

We're so advanced, top of the food chain, all that good stuff. However, I swear to everything that is holy that the average human loses minimum 40% of their I.Q. capacity upon walking through the doors of a retail establishment.

You could be standing there, sticking out like a sore thumb dressed in the required uniform that makes it glaringly obvious that you belong to the staff of that store and still yet, the most common question you will hear from customers that need assistance is "Do you work here?". Ive entertained the idea of simply answering "No." to that question and continue working on what I was doing, just to smell the wood burning in their little heads as they wrestle with what I just said in relation to what Im doing.

Decisions on which associate to ask for help boggles the mind quite often as well. We're fully staffed for a Saturday, and there are no less than five other uniformed associates in my vicinity as Im carrying a bigass extension ladder to the back of the store to change out some lights. Does this dumb bitch ask any of the other completely unoccupied associates for assistance? No. She comes directly to me and asks where she could find the country CDs. I point her in the right direction as Im holding this ladder, but that's not quite good enough. She wants me to hold her ****ing hand and show her to the rack. Then she asks "Oh, are you busy?". Nah I just carry this thing around in case I need to reach something at a moment's notice.

Personal responsibility is non existent with customers now. Its something most companies don't even hold customers accountable for anymore. I worked for a Hastings Entertainment store for about five years, and I can tell you that out of the hundreds of thousands of video membership cards I gave out, you would be lucky to see 10% of those cards even used because people never had them when they wanted to rent. Oh its fine, Ill just extend the wait time of everyone in line while I look your dumb ass up on the computer. I remember when if I went to the library without my library card, guess what? I couldn't check out a ****ing book. Now, we just let people wander around like clueless dumbasses and there are no consequences for coming to the checkout unprepared.

"Good afternoon. May I scan your membership card?"

"Naw. I got mah ID."

Well if I were selling you cigarettes or alcohol, or pulling you over for a traffic violation, that would be helpful. Since we're not doing any of those things, I need your ****ing card.


The people that drive in excess of 50 miles with gasoline at 3 bucks a gallon because they could save 25 cents crack me up. We were totally slammed on a weekend and this lady figured out that she could save a quarter if I had told her by doing separate transactions, she would save around a nickel on each pair of items she bought. She had driven 30 miles back, and there was a massive line behind her and she expected me to return every item she bought and then perform five separate trasactions in order to save a quarter. I stared flabbergasted at her for a moment unable to believe she was serious, but she was.

In the end, I refused to do it because of the line, and when she started to protest I reached into my pocket and produced a shiny quarter for her. I put it on the counter and slid it toward her and said "There you go, you're all set." She started to refuse to take the coin and I said to her "Its fine, this is so much faster. There's so many people waiting, and you clearly need this quarter more than I do. Have a nice night."

She storms off in a huff shouting something about principles followed by the laughter and applause of those waiting in line.

Ive seen people smack the credit card reader repeatedly, telling me my piece of shit machine isn't working, only to have me point out that they are swiping an incorrect card, such as an EBT card or a driver's license. Its still of course, somehow my fault that they have their head up their ass.


I worked for a Big Lots for a couple years and this hag comes in and she clearly wanted to be at Wal-Mart. Everything out of her mouth was "At Wal-Mart they have this. At Wal-Mart they have that. At Wal-Mart...At Wal-Mart..At Wal-Mart.....At Wal-Mart....."

When she reached the front of the store, in front of the giant windows, a small scene flashed through my mind of the movie 300, and when this bitch said "At Wal-Mart..." one more time I would shout '"THIS IS...BIG LOTS!!!" and Spartan kick her old ass through the window and out into the parking lot.

I suppose dealing with the dregs of society on a daily basis is my penance for not going to college to better myself.



Awesome post. Demonstrates why retail stores have such turnover. And why so many people buy online. We don't have to deal with some malcontent nitwit in a purple shirt and a button that says Hi Im Gary. You should take up a new career. Your future is dismal if you don't change.

[The Franchise]

I worked as a checker at a grocery store for a while and my issue was how dishonest so many people are. It seemed like people were always pulling shit to try to get one over the store. The store I worked for really stressed customer service, so you usually had to let them get away with it too. :grr:

I started out as a bagger. People are fucking dicks. I've had people tell me how to bag their groceries even though I know it's wrong and it's going to fuck up their food. Then they come back in 30 minutes later complaining that their food was squished because of how I bagged their groceries. You told me too....you fucking idiot.

[fan4ever]

It's a job. Do you think I want to call you when you're eating? Do you think I really want to force sell someone on a Discover credit card? No...I don't. But if it's the only job at that time....I'm going to do it.

Hey, I understand about making a living; I'm just saying it takes balls to bitch about people you're encountering while you're bugging them at home and interrupting their lives, that's all.

[J Diddy]

Believe me....I've heard EVERYTHING on the phone. The greatest was when some guy owed thousands of dollars in credit card debt. He was tired of the calls that he was getting. He proceeded to threaten to come down to our office and gun me down in the parking lot. I informed him that I had all of his information....including social security #, address, and DOB. Did he really want to threaten me?

I assure you that wasn't me. I'm a small man and the last thing I need to be doing is picking a fight with a complete stranger via the telephone. That right there is idiocy at its finest.

[MIAdragon]

The food biz is also bad.

Anything dealing with people is bad. It is nice to own your own company where I can tell people to shove it, I don't need your business. The reaction is priceless.

[cosmo20002]

I did telemarketing when I was in high school. Hated it. I wound up getting fired because I told a guy (who to my credit was acting like a dick) that he was being a dick. Supervisor was listening in. I'm pretty sure I made that vein in his forehead pop out 3 inches.

I did telemarketing, but for about a year I did the kind where people call in after seeing a TV ad to order something. We took orders for LOTS of stuff. A third of the calls were:

Can I help you? ---I want that thing on TV.
Do know the name of it? ---No, its that thing. It helps you cook.
What exactly does it do? ---It was green.

We're timed on every call which is a portion of your pay.

Another favorite:
May I have your zip code please? ---Do what?
May I have your zip code? ---913
No, your zip code. ---913
I think that's your area code. I need your zip code where you get mail. ---Um, I think it starts with a 6. Why do you need that?
Well, so I can mail you the ****ing thing you called in to order :banghead:

[Frosty]

I started out as a bagger. People are ****ing dicks. I've had people tell me how to bag their groceries even though I know it's wrong and it's going to **** up their food. Then they come back in 30 minutes later complaining that their food was squished because of how I bagged their groceries. You told me too....you ****ing idiot.

Yeah. i bagged for two years and then moved to checker. I actually didn't have much problem with people while I was bagging, though I know what you are talking about. People wanting everything in one bag and then complaining it's too heavy. That kind of thing.

[Pablo]

I have worked in grocery/fast food/retail/phone sales/insurance in my younger years. I have a pretty good idea of working with the general public in a lot of regards. The customer is not always right. They're wrong. A lot. Most often your manager or employer is going to bend over backwards to kiss any living person's ass that is spending money with their company.

That's understandable. They're trained to swallow their pride and give loud idiots whatever they like so they'll stop being loud idiots. I was never rude to a customer, although there were times I felt like punching their faces in. I suppose nowadays I have a little pity for the poor sap back there getting yelled at by the white trash super moron who has to cause a scene at the store to really feel like they've done something.

I am courteous to the people that handle my exchanges wherever I shop. It really isn't hard to do. Just don't be a dick to the people that help you out/ring you up. Sometimes you get bad help. If you're reasonably friendly/polite you'll get good help nine times out of ten.

[Predarat]

Working with the public can build on you. Over time you become:

http://evrn.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/FD2995776.jpg

[Rain Man]

It's a job. Do you think I want to call you when you're eating? Do you think I really want to force sell someone on a Discover credit card? No...I don't. But if it's the only job at that time....I'm going to do it.

The challenge with a lot (most) cold sales techniques is that the person implementing them isn't the person who's ordering that they be done. Presumably they work well enough to be moneymakers, and people need jobs, so the guy at the top orders it and stays out of the fray.

I try to be avoid cold sales calls, but if I can't I'll try to be nice to them as long as they're nice to me. Of course, the problem is that I'm never ever ever ever ever going to buy anything from a cold call. If it's not a good deal I won't buy it, and if it is a good deal I won't trust it since it's a cold call. So their call is just a waste of time for both of us.

If a cold sales person is rude to me or lies to me, which seems to happen about 25 percent of the time, then I'm fine being rude back. There's some sleazy wine place that calls me every couple of years, and here's how the conversation goes:

Dishonest, sleazy wine sales person: "Hi! We were referred to you because you're a person who enjoys a good glass of wine!"

Me: "Who said that?"

DSWSP: "You were referred to us by a friend who knows that you like wine!"

Me: "Who was it? Give me the name."

DSWSP: "I don't have the name handy! But do you like WINE?!?!?!

Me: "I don't drink. Why are you lying to me?"

DSWSP: "Um...I don't know. We were told that you were a wine drinker. A WINE DRINKER!"

Me: "Stop lying to people."

DSWSP: "Um...maybe it was a mistake."

Me: "You're lying again."

DSWSP: "Thanks." (Click.)


I really despise those people. They're just a bunch of liars.

[Rain Man]

Anything dealing with people is bad. It is nice to own your own company where I can tell people to shove it, I don't need your business. The reaction is priceless.

I own a company but seldom have the opportunity to do that. Probably the only time I did it was with the crooked nitwits who control the county government in Adams County, Colorado. I guess it felt good, but not really, because they were a bunch of crooks.

[Pablo]

Cold calling. Ugh.

I don't get many of those, but the best way to deal with cold calls/sales folk walking up to your door is to immediately say you aren't interested. I usually go with the old "I'm not going to waste either of our time, there's no chance I'm buying anything from you".

No sense in dragging it out further than that sentence and almost all of the time it ends with an "OK, have a great day".

I do remember when I got my first job I was cold-calling the east coast selling AT&T phone service at roughly 9 a.m. their time on a Saturday morning. People really, really, really hated me. A lot.

One dude repeatedly told me to "eat his asshole" as I went through the proper series of rebuttals I'd been trained to do. I tried to stifle my laughter as he hung up, but that one will always stick with me.

[The Franchise]

Cold calling. Ugh.

I don't get many of those, but the best way to deal with cold calls/sales folk walking up to your door is to immediately say you aren't interested. I usually go with the old "I'm not going to waste either of our time, there's no chance I'm buying anything from you".

No sense in dragging it out further than that sentence and almost all of the time it ends with an "OK, have a great day".

I do remember when I got my first job I was cold-calling the east coast selling AT&T phone service at roughly 9 a.m. their time on a Saturday morning. People really, really, really hated me. A lot.

One dude repeatedly told me to "eat his asshole" as I went through the proper series of rebuttals I'd been trained to do. I tried to stifle my laughter as he hung up, but that one will always stick with me.

The old....make them say no at least 3 times bullshit. I hated that crap. I've told people that were nice when they answered the phone just to say no three times and I'd end the call.

[The Franchise]

Debt collection is worse than telemarketing though.

[Frosty]

The old....make them say no at least 3 times bullshit. I hated that crap. I've told people that were nice when they answered the phone just to say no three times and I'd end the call.

I say no and then hang up. No point in wasting time for either of us.

[Dunit35]

I have worked in grocery/fast food/retail/phone sales/insurance in my younger years. I have a pretty good idea of working with the general public in a lot of regards. The customer is not always right. They're wrong. A lot. Most often your manager or employer is going to bend over backwards to kiss any living person's ass that is spending money with their company.

That's understandable. They're trained to swallow their pride and give loud idiots whatever they like so they'll stop being loud idiots. I was never rude to a customer, although there were times I felt like punching their faces in. I suppose nowadays I have a little pity for the poor sap back there getting yelled at by the white trash super moron who has to cause a scene at the store to really feel like they've done something.

I am courteous to the people that handle my exchanges wherever I shop. It really isn't hard to do. Just don't be a dick to the people that help you out/ring you up. Sometimes you get bad help. If you're reasonably friendly/polite you'll get good help nine times out of ten.

I tell baggers to pack em full. As long as the bread or eggs aren't at the bottom I don't give a shit. I'm lazy when I'm not at work so carrying a 50 lb grocery bag may end up being my only workout for the week.

[blaise]

Debt collection is worse than telemarketing though.

I did debt collection in Central PA for a while. Sometimes we'd have to go out "chasing" which meant going out to their houses to try and collect.

This is a mountainous area of PA about as rural as you can imagine. I remember once going to a place that was off a dirt road, off another dirt road and then up this little mountain. There was this little cluster of ramshackle houses and trailers grouped together built in the woods in the side of the mountain. Like 6 or 7. And like 25 hillbilly looking people all hanging around in between on tables and chairs.

I just kept right on driving. Not a chance I was going to disappear there.
Had 2 or 3 other experiences there just like that. I just started parking my car and coming back an hour or two later.

[The Franchise]

I say no and then hang up. No point in wasting time for either of us.

You at least get the point. I've had people yell no at me after 3 times. Just fucking hang up....because I can't.

[Pablo]

I tell baggers to pack em full. As long as the bread or eggs aren't at the bottom I don't give a shit. I'm lazy when I'm not at work so carrying a 50 lb grocery bag may end up being my only workout for the week.Yeah. I worked at a grocery store as a kid and I bagged groceries. I always tried to pack the bags as full as possible without being too heavy. Sometimes they'll put like two items in a bag and throw it in my cart. I mean, I'm not trying to save the world when I'm grocery shopping, but there's no sense in just giving me light bags full of nothingness that I'll just throw away.

My wife makes fun of me, but I always unload the cart and I have everything in a specific order that I'd like to have bagged together. Just makes it that much easier for the high school kid at the end of the register, and I know my chicken drumsticks aren't leaking into a bag with my dry goods and all that.

[Pablo]

I did debt collection in Central PA for a while. Sometimes we'd have to go out "chasing" which meant going out to their houses to try and collect.

This is a mountainous area of PA about as rural as you can imagine. I remember once going to a place that was off a dirt road, off another dirt road and then up this little mountain. There was this little cluster of ramshackle houses and trailers grouped together built in the woods in the side of the mountain. Like 6 or 7. And like 25 hillbilly looking people all hanging around in between on tables and chairs.

I just kept right on driving. Not a chance I was going to disappear there.
Had 2 or 3 other experiences there just like that. I just started parking my car and coming back an hour or two later.That would be an awful, awful job. Fuck that.

[loochy]

Yeah. I worked at a grocery store as a kid and I bagged groceries. I always tried to pack the bags as full as possible without being too heavy. Sometimes they'll put like two items in a bag and throw it in my cart. I mean, I'm not trying to save the world when I'm grocery shopping, but there's no sense in just giving me light bags full of nothingness that I'll just throw away.

My wife makes fun of me, but I always unload the cart and I have everything in a specific order that I'd like to have bagged together. Just makes it that much easier for the high school kid at the end of the register, and I know my chicken drumsticks aren't leaking into a bag with my dry goods and all that.

walmart is the WORST about this

no matter what it is, it's like 2 items to a bag.

i always have to redo the bagging

[ThaVirus]

I did debt collection in Central PA for a while. Sometimes we'd have to go out "chasing" which meant going out to their houses to try and collect.

This is a mountainous area of PA about as rural as you can imagine. I remember once going to a place that was off a dirt road, off another dirt road and then up this little mountain. There was this little cluster of ramshackle houses and trailers grouped together built in the woods in the side of the mountain. Like 6 or 7. And like 25 hillbilly looking people all hanging around in between on tables and chairs.

I just kept right on driving. Not a chance I was going to disappear there.
Had 2 or 3 other experiences there just like that. I just started parking my car and coming back an hour or two later.

LMAO Fuck all that.

[BigCatDaddy]

Anything dealing with people is bad. It is nice to own your own company where I can tell people to shove it, I don't need your business. The reaction is priceless.

I had some douche bad kid take a free preworkout sample and tell me that he had an allergic reaction to it. I offered him a free tub of it to make up for his problems.

[Pablo]

walmart is the WORST about this

no matter what it is, it's like 2 items to a bag.

i always have to redo the baggingYeah, they're pretty awful. Cashiers at Wal-Mart hate their lives. I feel the worst for them because they hate their jobs, the customers hate shopping at Wal-Mart, they're slammed all day long and Wal-Mart always draws out the lowest common denominator types.

They hate what they're doing and deal with the dumbest customers imaginable with no down time all day. At least the time goes by faster when you're busy I suppose.

I really try to avoid shopping there. It used to be worth saving that ten bucks or whatever a week, but my local Price Chopper is so much cleaner, friendlier, and better staffed and managed. Hell, I like it so much I actually went online and filled out a customer service survey for the first time in my life. Just gave all the props to their manager. He knows what he's doing.

[Frosty]

My wife makes fun of me, but I always unload the cart and I have everything in a specific order that I'd like to have bagged together. Just makes it that much easier for the high school kid at the end of the register, and I know my chicken drumsticks aren't leaking into a bag with my dry goods and all that.

I do that too and then they pick around everything and fuck it up anyway. It's gotten to where I bag my own groceries now if I can. Otherwise, I'll be repacking it when I get out to the car.

[Frosty]

You at least get the point. I've had people yell no at me after 3 times. Just ****ing hang up....because I can't.

My wife will sit there and chat with the callers, even though there isn't a chance in hell she would ever give them a dime. I don't get it. She says she doesn't want to be rude. I tell her to just say "no, thanks" and hang up. :shake:

[The Franchise]

My wife will sit there and chat with the callers, even though there isn't a chance in hell she would ever give them a dime. I don't get it. She says she doesn't want to be rude. I tell her to just say "no, thanks" and hang up. :shake:

Tell her that she's fucking over the employee doing that. LMAO They have a quota they're supposed to be meeting and they can't do that if they're on the phone for a long period of time and not getting the sale.

The biggest dicks I've dealt with while calling people are the ones who know that. They'll enthusiastically talk about how they want what you're selling....dragging out the call asking questions...and then when you get to the recording part where you read the contract to them....they say no at the very end and hang up. Dicks.

[notorious]

Working retail and at a bank has helped me big-time with my business.

Bartending helped the most in fine-tuning personal interaction.

[Sully]

Tales from Kinko's:

A lady wanted 10 copies of her resume on nice paper. I made her copies, walked to the counter and set them down in front of her to ring her up. She let me know the copies were upside down. I gently turned the top of the page toward her, and she quietly paid her bill.

A lady had an order for 3 bound presentations, due the next day. We screwed them up somehow (I think it had something to do with her digital file not being set up right, but our fault, nonetheless). I explained to her that I would do two things, I would refund her total price for the job, as well as redoing the job (essentially making her pricey order free). That wasn't good enough. She wanted us to pay her twice the price she originally paid, and was loudly upset that I refused to do so. I don't think she was trying to get over on us...I honestly think she just couldn't do the math. The more I tried to explain to her that if I did what she was asking, we'd be essentially paying her to use us, the angrier she got. I even used pen and paper and tried to show her the math. Didn't work. Eventually I just mentioned to her that I was sorry I couldn't meet her expectations, and that I'd certainly understand if she never shopped there, again.

Coolest story, though:
We were printing and laminating the menus for some dive down the road. Whoever had done the job had screwed up the lamination badly. Owner called and was pissed. I asked him to bring them back, and I'd fix them all. Problem was, he needed the menus that night, so couldn't bring them back. So I offered to bring our lamination trimmer to his place to get them fixed. I show up (It was a Monday night, so football was on. It was the game where Jimbo Fisher caught a TD pass), and sit at a table to rim all these menus, owner says he'll hook me up with beer, so I sit there, doing a job that's easy as hell, and spend 3+ hours trimming menus and getting drunk off my ass and watching a decent football game, all while on the clock.

[Frosty]

Tell her that she's ****ing over the employee doing that. LMAO

I'll let her know. That should get her to hang up on them.

The thing that puzzles me about sales calls are the recorded ones. Does anyone actually listen to those? The second I can tell it's a machine calling me, I hang up. :shrug:

[WhawhaWhat]

I worked in the food industry for years so I know what you are feeling. People are shitheads. The movie Waiting that came out a while ago was really funny and also cathartic.

[Beef Supreme]

Yeah, they're pretty awful. Cashiers at Wal-Mart hate their lives. I feel the worst for them because they hate their jobs, the customers hate shopping at Wal-Mart, they're slammed all day long and Wal-Mart always draws out the lowest common denominator types.

They hate what they're doing and deal with the dumbest customers imaginable with no down time all day. At least the time goes by faster when you're busy I suppose.

I really try to avoid shopping there. It used to be worth saving that ten bucks or whatever a week, but my local Price Chopper is so much cleaner, friendlier, and better staffed and managed. Hell, I like it so much I actually went online and filled out a customer service survey for the first time in my life. Just gave all the props to their manager. He knows what he's doing.

Heh, and I thought it sucked when I have to put up with the complete lack of intelligence and class that defines the average Walmart cashier. I hadn't really considered that they have to put up with hordes of people even more stupid and classless than they are.

[Mike in SW-MO]

I'll let her know. That should get her to hang up on them.

The thing that puzzles me about sales calls are the recorded ones. Does anyone actually listen to those? The second I can tell it's a machine calling me, I hang up. :shrug:

Or the good old "Please hold for an important message from Senator Self-important Ignoramus."

Sure I say. Click.

[KCUnited]

There was some Stephen King/Cosmo Kramer looking goon sacking my groceries at Price Chopper a while back. Guy was just cramming shit into the sack with no rhyme or reason. I got home and was unpacking his disaster and found a little card in the bottom with a Price Chopper emblem that said Proudly Sacked By Raymond. I seek him out now and nod when it's ok for him to put something in the sack, he's starting to get it.

[displacedinMN]

When I worked at Radio Shack-a man returned a clock because he said it could not tell the difference between am/pm.

I set the clock and said sorry. But he refused to take it back.

Yes, I had to accept the return. What an idiot he was.
Many of those from RS, BestBuy and we won't talk about parent/teacher conferences.

[Mr. Laz]

Retail is rough.

It seems to just suck the life right out of you ... Holidays completely stink and you learn to hate them. You learn to hate humankind too.

[Frosty]

I worked as a checker at a grocery store for a while and my issue was how dishonest so many people are. It seemed like people were always pulling shit to try to get one over the store. The store I worked for really stressed customer service, so you usually had to let them get away with it too. :grr:

Speaking of dishonest people. I had paper routes for years when I was a kid and it's amazing how many people have no problem screwing over an 11-12 year old. :shake:

[Frosty]

Retail is rough.

It seems to just suck the life right out of you ... Holidays completely stink and you learn to hate them. You learn to hate humankind too.

I don't even work in retail and I hate the other customers, especially in WalMart and Costco. :)

[The Franchise]

Retail is rough.

It seems to just suck the life right out of you ... Holidays completely stink and you learn to hate them. You learn to hate humankind too.

It's even worse around the holidays and it's not just because of the madness and the customers. It's because most big stores will bring in temp help to have more staff in the store. It's great if they know what they're doing. A majority of the time they don't. All it does is make it harder on you as the employee.

[|Zach|]

Had my run at retail for a while when I worked at Office Depot...was certainly an eye opening experience. I echo the surprise about how far people go to try and put one over on a company that is dealing with them in good faith.

Spent a whole lot of time serving and bar tending at Country Clubs which had its very interesting moments but in different ways.

[Just Passin' By]

...You could be standing there, sticking out like a sore thumb dressed in the required uniform that makes it glaringly obvious that you belong to the staff of that store and still yet, the most common question you will hear from customers that need assistance is "Do you work here?". Ive entertained the idea of simply answering "No." to that question and continue working on what I was doing, just to smell the wood burning in their little heads as they wrestle with what I just said in relation to what Im doing...

Most people ask this question out of politeness and courtesy, as a rote opening question, in order to avoid bothering someone who they mistakenly believe is working at that store when they aren't, so it's great to know that you want to be an incredible dick to people who are trying to be civil.

[Rain Man]

I did debt collection in Central PA for a while. Sometimes we'd have to go out "chasing" which meant going out to their houses to try and collect.

This is a mountainous area of PA about as rural as you can imagine. I remember once going to a place that was off a dirt road, off another dirt road and then up this little mountain. There was this little cluster of ramshackle houses and trailers grouped together built in the woods in the side of the mountain. Like 6 or 7. And like 25 hillbilly looking people all hanging around in between on tables and chairs.

I just kept right on driving. Not a chance I was going to disappear there.
Had 2 or 3 other experiences there just like that. I just started parking my car and coming back an hour or two later.

There are very few jobs I would enjoy less than that.

[ModSocks]

Try being a Manager at a movie theater.....I don't have time to share all my stories right now, but imagine dealing with all the shit head customers who believe they're owed a refund because they sat through an entire move that they paid for and ended up not liking. Or the constant bitching about concession prices...demanding refunds and making a scene because the popcorn wasn't worth the $6 they paid for it....after they already ate it all.

The real stories come from what happens INSIDE the theater itself....oh my....

[Rain Man]

Try being a Manager at a movie theater.....I don't have time to share all my stories right now, but imagine dealing with all the shit head customers who believe they're owed a refund because they sat through an entire move that they paid for and ended up not liking. Or the constant bitching about concession prices...demanding refunds and making a scene because the popcorn wasn't worth the $6 they paid for it....after they already ate it all.

The real stories come from what happens INSIDE the theater itself....oh my....

Ante up. We need stories. It's Tuesday of a long week.

[seclark]

Ante up. We need stories. It's Tuesday of a long week.

might want to start taking seat covers in w/you.:eek:
sec

[Sorce]

I work in retail and every once in a while when I open I like to take an item or two. I recently felt I needed a raise so I started stealing more expensive items. This little whiner who works with me keeps telling me to stop and that he's going to tattle. I think one of the biggest problems with retail isn't the customers it's some of these morons they hire.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

The one thing I learned working retail is that management will always find something to bitch at you about, because they think negative criticism is the only motivating tactic.

Month 1: We really need to stress cell phone sales!! Worker sells more phones
Month 2: Why are our computer sales so low? We need you focusing on computers this month.
....
Month X: We've got a ton of clearance merchandise building up. You guys need to clear it out as soon as possible
Month Y: You guys had an absolutely horrible gross margin last month. This is totally unacceptable.

I always approached retail from the POV of the customer. I'd try to sell them something, but it would always be the item that was the best value for their money. If they sold two computers with the same capabilities but one model was on sale, I wouldn't even consider pushing the normally-priced item. In fact, I'd tell them that they could get the computer, and X,Y, and Z for the same prices as the other system.

[ModSocks]

Ante up. We need stories. It's Tuesday of a long week.

Im at work right now so i don't have too much time, but here's one for you...my First day on the job as Manager actually.

A marine comes out of the theater....i can't recall the movie but it was an action movie. He complains to the usher that there is a homeless man in there trying to grab his cock. He says he doesn't want him kicked (the marine was really good natured), but to just ask him to stop. 18 year old me goes in there and tells the man that there was a complaint about him and asked him if he knew anything about it. He denies and swears he's just watching the movie. Then he goes and segregates himself in an empty section of the theater. I leave him be.

About 30mins later an Usher comes to me after doing a safety check and says that the homeless guy is sitting there whacking off. I go into the theater and sure enough he has his pants down and he's going at it with himself. I ask him to leave the theater and he refuses. I call security to escort him out and they have to grab him, pants down and dick out, and carry him out of the theater. Then they had to fight with him to keep his pants on as they removed him from the complex.

Good times.

The best stories come from when we aired "black" movies. Like the biggie smalls documentary or the 2pac documentary....those kinds of films....it was required from corporate that we hired security as well as request a Police officer for those premiers. We had to have security standing outside the theater scanning people for guns and knives.

Sadly....we actually needed the extra security some times.

[seclark]

told ya.
sec

[mcaj22]

I did debt collection in Central PA for a while. Sometimes we'd have to go out "chasing" which meant going out to their houses to try and collect.

This is a mountainous area of PA about as rural as you can imagine. I remember once going to a place that was off a dirt road, off another dirt road and then up this little mountain. There was this little cluster of ramshackle houses and trailers grouped together built in the woods in the side of the mountain. Like 6 or 7. And like 25 hillbilly looking people all hanging around in between on tables and chairs.

I just kept right on driving. Not a chance I was going to disappear there.
Had 2 or 3 other experiences there just like that. I just started parking my car and coming back an hour or two later.

You basically just described the area of PA I live in. I feel your pain

[The Franchise]

Most people ask this question out of politeness and courtesy, as a rote opening question, in order to avoid bothering someone who they mistakenly believe is working at that store when they aren't, so it's great to know that you want to be an incredible dick to people who are trying to be civil.

If you go into a JCPenneys and you see a person standing next to the counter with a tie and name badge on....it's safe to assume that they fucking work there. Target? Red shirt and name badge. Pretty sure they work there.

[ThaVirus]

The best stories come from when we aired "black" movies. Like the biggie smalls documentary or the 2pac documentary....those kinds of films....it was required from corporate that we hired security as well as request a Police officer for those premiers. We had to have security standing outside the theater scanning people for guns and knives.

Sadly....we actually needed the extra security some times.

We'll need to hear those stories when you have the time.

[Easy 6]

Went through something very similar to blaise many years ago as a door to door "cable tv salesman", atleast that's how they sold it to everyone... "yeah, you just go around getting current customers to upgrade to our bundle packages, or upgrade their cable/internet and then *mumblecough* you'll be checking for people stealing cable once in a while".

So as the new guy of course, you get the very worst neighborhoods they can send you to, and NONE of that work was about "selling upgrades", it was ALL about cutting off peoples stolen cable/internet... after dealing with them for a week and hearing countless stories about guys being jumped by a living room full of people, guns being pulled and dogs being sic'ed... I told them to stuff it.

I'm no wilting lilly... but I'm not foolhardy, either

[Cornstock]

Seems like the location of the Wal-Mart makes all the difference. You go to some in the smaller towns, its just a nice old grandma working the register. You go to some cities and its some piece of shit who hates their job and hates you more.

[Valiant]

I loved retail when I did it.

You have to enjoy the idiots. We had a guy bring in a vcr that broke after a year he said. No receipt. Told him I could not help. He would need to call manufacturer. Went on for minute. Came back in a second later. Started yelling about us lying. Picked up his vcr and power bombed it and stated he never would buy stuff again. I literally started laughing at him. Pissed him off.

had an Asian guy named Tommy dang worked there. Crooked as ****, lied to make sales. That shit Pissed me off. Well eventually he quit. But years later he would come in to try and get credit cards as other people. Call him out on it. He would be that is not me. Kick him out of the store.

Or the guy that bought shit every week but returned it right before the return policy ended. Literally over years had bought 50k plus. Well when I became management I stopped that shit. He tried to get discounts I guess from other managers because he bought so much stuff. Tried that with me. Told him also returns everything. We lose money on him. And I refused him service and told him to not come back in.pissed him off. He said he would complain to corporate. Told him go ahead.

Asshole bought at another location tried to return there. Told him to get bent.
He didn't want to drive back across town. Not my problem. Never saw him again.

I did get questions from corporate. But explained my side. We argued. Told them they were idiots, and explained we were losing money. Then argued again. Pulled up his buying history. They then backed down. Guess he did that all locations. Over 200k dollars bought and return. Corporate thanked me. And told me he was banned.

[blaise]

I had a guy once at Enterprise say he was going to sue me because he had to wait too long for a ride home. He said he was Muslim and he had to pray at a certain time. He started yelling and making a scene. Saying I was discriminating his religion and he was going to sue me. I told him he could go pray in the break room if he wanted but he said no.

[DJJasonp]

While I agree with most all being said here.....that all said, 3/4 of the employees in these retail establishments are half-tards.

I'm the type of person who does a bit of research typically before a purchase (electronics as an example).

I can't stand when these half-tards can't answer simple questions about the products they are selling.....let alone the times when they BS their answer, hoping the customer hasn't done their homework.

I never thought I would get to a point where I do most of my shopping online.....but I'm getting really close.

[KChiefer]

I was working alone at a pack & ship place on a busy weekend. This customer that I know is a pain comes in to do some coping. When she was done she tried to leave w/o paying b/c there was a line. I told her she still had to pay. She then starts cussing me out to which I decided she could leave w/o paying and told her to gtfo. She then refused and told me to ring her up and take her mail. I walked to the front door and chucked her mail out onto the street. I ended up getting let go b/c some lady came in mid-argument and later complained that my cussing made Jesus cry.

[Valiant]

It was fun, I still have random people say hello when I am out because they remember me. I always tried to be helpful and honest with people that were not trying to screw the company over.

My favorite time was actually almost dying. Loading one of old school big screen tvs into a truck. Told him to back the truck up a bit and I would just set it in there from the dolly. Well he came back eight feet. Pinned me into the door with the dolly crushing my stomach. Luckily the door gave way and I went flying into the store. I was alright. I was pissed. He was ghost white. I just told him, A bit is like a foot.

I met Bowser there, only because his photo was on the thing at the top of the site.

[|Zach|]

I once had someone get really mad at me because we charged tax.

Assuming it was my fault that they were from a tax exempt organization and I just missed it. Nope, not that case...they were mad at little ol college me because of sales tax.

http://www.readsleeprepeat.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/House-Seriously-Face.gif

[NinerDoug]

I firmly believe that anyone who has ever worked retail at any point in their life has had to have had their faith in the intelligence of the human race badly shaken.

We're so advanced, top of the food chain, all that good stuff. However, I swear to everything that is holy that the average human loses minimum 40% of their I.Q. capacity upon walking through the doors of a retail establishment.

You could be standing there, sticking out like a sore thumb dressed in the required uniform that makes it glaringly obvious that you belong to the staff of that store and still yet, the most common question you will hear from customers that need assistance is "Do you work here?". Ive entertained the idea of simply answering "No." to that question and continue working on what I was doing, just to smell the wood burning in their little heads as they wrestle with what I just said in relation to what Im doing.


If you're going to do something like that, might as well make it a little more dramatic.

Something like,

"No, I just like to hang out here in the store uniform and pretend to be an employee for shits and giggles. **** off, cock gobbler."

Might get a better reaction.

[Just Passin' By]

If you go into a JCPenneys and you see a person standing next to the counter with a tie and name badge on....it's safe to assume that they ****ing work there. Target? Red shirt and name badge. Pretty sure they work there.

It's a rote question. It's right there with "how are you doing?" and "What's up?" when you're walking past someone.

[blaise]

The ones I liked at Enterprise were people that would run out of room on the credit card, and they'd owe like $400 and wouldn't bring the car back. And when you'd call them they say things like, "Um, I'm busy today. Maybe beginning of next week I can return it." They sort of started looking at it like it was theirs.
I remember taking an extra key to some girl's house in Lenexa once and knocking on her door and saying I was going to take the car. And she needed to get her stuff out. She was like, "No. I still need it, Maybe come back tomorrow," and closed the door on me. Didn't know I had a key, I guess.
I just took it with all her stuff in it. She spazzed out over that.

[The Franchise]

It's a rote question. It's right there with "how are you doing?" and "What's up?" when you're walking past someone.

No it's not. If you can assume by the manner of dress and what they are doing that they work there.....then ask them your question. I don't walk into Best Buy, see a guy in a blue Best Buy shirt with a name tag and ask him if he works there. I fucking know that he works there.

[KChiefer]

I once had a lady ask if we we could ship a dog to Russia...uh, no.

[Rain Man]

Or the guy that bought shit every week but returned it right before the return policy ended. Literally over years had bought 50k plus. Well when I became management I stopped that shit. He tried to get discounts I guess from other managers because he bought so much stuff. Tried that with me. Told him also returns everything. We lose money on him. And I refused him service and told him to not come back in.pissed him off. He said he would complain to corporate. Told him go ahead.

Asshole bought at another location tried to return there. Told him to get bent.
He didn't want to drive back across town. Not my problem. Never saw him again.

I did get questions from corporate. But explained my side. We argued. Told them they were idiots, and explained we were losing money. Then argued again. Pulled up his buying history. They then backed down. Guess he did that all locations. Over 200k dollars bought and return. Corporate thanked me. And told me he was banned.


Why was he doing that? Was he somehow making money off it, or was he basically just renting stuff for free? It seems like that would be a bigger hassle than just buying it.

[ghak99]

I've accepted the fact that I'm simply not programmed to work with the general public. I produce a product on the side that I could easily double my sales price by selling directly to the public, but I choose to dump it into a broker's hands at wholesale prices just so I don't have to deal with the morons and constant phone calls. Every now and then during the peak sales periods I'll get stupid and move a few directly to the public just to remind myself how much of a pain in the ass it is.

I have to admit, I fuck with those guys who drive around with a deep freeze full of meat trying to sell it door to door every time they pull in. We raise our own beef... we have pork too! We buy our pork from the neighbor... How about fish, we've got some fish! I catch my own... How about seefood, we've got seafood! I'm friends with Forest, go the fuck away!

I had one of the guys down to selling the deep freeze, all its contents, and the truck they were driving it around in for what seemed like a great deal before telling them I was broke and they should get the fuck off my land. My dad was hiding in the back of the shop pretending to work while laughing his ass off at the idiot who was getting all excited about finally finding an sucker to dump his old meat products and high mileage truck on. Apparently, every few years the route gets taken over by a new guy and I have to repeat the damn process to make sure the moron gets the point.

[007]

I started out as a bagger. People are ****ing dicks. I've had people tell me how to bag their groceries even though I know it's wrong and it's going to **** up their food. Then they come back in 30 minutes later complaining that their food was squished because of how I bagged their groceries. You told me too....you ****ing idiot.

I used to be a bagger back in the day and it drives me nuts when I see workers bagging shit incorrectly. I never say anything but I do put my groceries on the belt in the order I want them bagged. For the most part it works. I've also had a couple baggers notice it and actually thank me for making their job easier.

[ghak99]

I once had a lady ask if we we could ship a dog to Russia...uh, no.

I sent one in that direction one time for a pretty good chunk of change... I always wondered if it wound up on a plate.

[Beef Supreme]

I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!

[houstonwhodat]

Oil and Gas pipeline biz $$$$$

+ Photography

[houstonwhodat]

I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!



Yeah but your TPS reports are all fucked up.

Did you get that memo?

[houstonwhodat]

I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

[Just Passin' By]

No it's not. If you can assume by the manner of dress and what they are doing that they work there.....then ask them your question. I don't walk into Best Buy, see a guy in a blue Best Buy shirt with a name tag and ask him if he works there. I ****ing know that he works there.

Yes, it is. People have certain phrases and questions that are used to start a conversation. In the context of requesting help from a store employee, "Excuse me", "Do you work here?", "Can you help me?", and the like are all just variable rote opening lines, just as "have a nice day" is a rote departure line. Perhaps the O.P. would be more comfortable with "Hey, asshole, where's the toy section?", but most employees would not.

[Easy 6]

The ones I liked at Enterprise were people that would run out of room on the credit card, and they'd owe like $400 and wouldn't bring the car back. And when you'd call them they say things like, "Um, I'm busy today. Maybe beginning of next week I can return it." They sort of started looking at it like it was theirs.
I remember taking an extra key to some girl's house in Lenexa once and knocking on her door and saying I was going to take the car. And she needed to get her stuff out. She was like, "No. I still need it, Maybe come back tomorrow," and closed the door on me. Didn't know I had a key, I guess.
I just took it with all her stuff in it. She spazzed out over that.

Just goes to show how many stupid people we have in this country, "you mean the company that owns the car has a spare key!? what?! didn't see that coming!".

[Frosty]

I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!

Which is why I'm an engineer.

[KCFalcon59]

I will say though, that I'm getting sick to death of membership and store cards. It's getting to where I about need a briefcase to carry them all around with me. Sorry, but if I'm stopping somewhere on the spur of the moment, you are probably going to be looking up my number because I am not going to carry all of those around with me all the time.

There's an app for that!!!

http://www.cardstar.com/

[RealSNR]

I delivered pizzas the summer after I graduated high school.

Pizza delivery sounded better than other jobs out there. Get to drive around, eat stale buffet pizza, and collect tips. What could possibly suck about it?

Two words:

Trailer. Courts.

[Rain Man]

Which is why I'm an engineer.

And why I'm a customer.

[Rain Man]

No it's not. If you can assume by the manner of dress and what they are doing that they work there.....then ask them your question. I don't walk into Best Buy, see a guy in a blue Best Buy shirt with a name tag and ask him if he works there. I ****ing know that he works there.

That flash mob that pretended to be Best Buy employees destroyed the nation's trust in the blue shirt and khakis.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/KgUIbPfhSuo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[stevieray]

what I don't get is the three people who stand at the counter of a convienence store with the person who is ACTUALLY paying..

[Valiant]

Why was he doing that? Was he somehow making money off it, or was he basically just renting stuff for free? It seems like that would be a bigger hassle than just buying it.

I got the feeling he was renting stuff to make it seem he was a big time.

We lost money because we would have to sell it as open box.

[Valiant]

No it's not. If you can assume by the manner of dress and what they are doing that they work there.....then ask them your question. I don't walk into Best Buy, see a guy in a blue Best Buy shirt with a name tag and ask him if he works there. I ****ing know that he works there.

Some people do not read the shirts. Our company shirt was red. Target was next door. I would get asked constantly.

[MahiMike]

I'd say you have a long future at Walmart.

[Mr. Christopher]

Wallcrawler - I feel your pain. I've been stuck in retail hell for about 8 years now. I think everyone should either work retail or food service some time in their life, just so they get a sense for dealing with people. I'd be willing to bet a lot more people would be more considerate if they'd ever had to deal with customers like themselves ever in their life.

[RobBlake]

Retail sucks ass.

[Al Bundy]

If you go into a JCPenneys and you see a person standing next to the counter with a tie and name badge on....it's safe to assume that they ****ing work there. Target? Red shirt and name badge. Pretty sure they work there.

When I first came to Kansas City I worked here http://i61.tinypic.com/2w32n9f.jpg and we had this http://i57.tinypic.com/zkmykg.jpg on the back of the shirts. Customers would still ask if we fucking worked there.

[Ragged Robin]

Retail sucks ass.

Correction: ANY type of customer service sucks ass. The fact is that most people in this world are idiots and you have to have a high tolerance for idiots.

[rocknrolla]

Unfortunately there are always going to be those people in re: to retail. People seeing what they can get away with and what they can get for free.

My last job, which I was nearly at for five years gave me so much grey hair. I'm 28 ****ing years old. LMAO

I actually found my new job while working at my old job. My advice to you is always to keep looking. Pretty simple, but had I not found my current job on indeed.com I would have never known it was hiring.

That's what it is, they all want something for nothing!

[jspchief]

Retail is the special olympics of the job world. The amount of effort that goes into getting your job is usually a pretty solid indicator of the type of job it is.

[Rain Man]

what I don't get is the three people who stand at the counter of a convienence store with the person who is ACTUALLY paying..

If you stand back, you're not going to get a piece of the beef jerky when the payer opens the package.

[Eleazar]

This is a great thread. I guess that I haven't worked retail since I was in college, but boy did I hate it.

I think the people who actually are reasonable and tolerant customers probably worked retail themselves once.

[Rain Man]

Does restaurant work count as retail?

I worked in restaurants for ten years in junior high, high school, and college. I actually wanted a retail job because those jobs seemed easier, but then again I usually didn't have to deal with customers in my restaurant work. Most of the time I was a cook or some other back room person. I kind of viewed retail work as a step up the social ladder from restaurant work.

[Eleazar]

Instead of "retail", I might just call it "customer service". Anytime you have to deal with the general public trying to get something from you it's going to be painful.

It's sad, but a lot of people out there will lie in any way they have to in order to save a buck. (or even a fraction of a buck)

[Mr. Christopher]

The customer is always right (in their own mind).

Sometimes the shit they pull is funny, though. One day, my assistant manager was helping a customer who tried to pay with a $100 bill. My manager took one look at it, obviously a fake bill, and said "Sir, I'm sorry, but this is a counterfeit bill. I can't take this."

The customer responds, "Shit, the weed man! I've been bamboozled!" and runs out the door.

It's stories like these that get me through

[Wallcrawler]

Yes, it is. People have certain phrases and questions that are used to start a conversation. In the context of requesting help from a store employee, "Excuse me", "Do you work here?", "Can you help me?", and the like are all just variable rote opening lines, just as "have a nice day" is a rote departure line. Perhaps the O.P. would be more comfortable with "Hey, asshole, where's the toy section?", but most employees would not.

I honestly would be more comfortable with that. At least then Id know that the customer was excercising more than the half brain cell it required to operate their basic motor functions to get around.

If youre so socially inept that the only way you can start a conversation for help is to ask a glaringly obvious, stupid fucking question and out yourself as a complete dumbass, perhaps you should shop online, or get someone to do your shopping for you.

Excuse me, could you help me find _____?

How fucking hard is that? Instead you walk up and ask if I work here. Its just a stupid fucking question, and the most common "ice breaker" amongst the socially inept.

[RobBlake]

I honestly would be more comfortable with that. At least then Id know that the customer was excercising more than the half brain cell it required to operate their basic motor functions to get around.

If youre so socially inept that the only way you can start a conversation for help is to ask a glaringly obvious, stupid ****ing question and out yourself as a complete dumbass, perhaps you should shop online, or get someone to do your shopping for you.

Excuse me, could you help me find _____?

How ****ing hard is that? Instead you walk up and ask if I work here. Its just a stupid ****ing question, and the most common "ice breaker" amongst the socially inept.
I unfortunately work at Office Depot, and what always makes me just stare at the customer to intentionally cause an awkward silence is... "Do you guys make copies here?"

No bitch, we just have a huge ass banner declaring copy & print center and two self service machines for aesthetics

[mdstu]

I can't get myself to approach a potential sales associate, unless I actually see a name tag or the store name/logo on the shirt. I think it's because subconsciously I think that if I were to ask if they work there and they didn't, I would be insulting them.

I had never thought about it, but that must say something about how I view retail workers. I think it's because my success rate for getting actual knowledgeable help at a retail store is probably around 5%.

For me Microcenter is the worst. If you don't know squat about computers, please take someone who does with you when you go to an electronics store to buy one. I can barely stand listening to the advice they give these poor people.

[TimeForWasp]

If I needed help, I would ask the person with the ladder. He works for a living. The people standing with a thumb in their ass don't.

[Sassy Squatch]

Used to do inventory and price changes at home depot. Worked from 5 to 1030 in the morning so mostly just contractors came in that time of day. They didn't want to talk to me and vise versa. Only around 9 did the hayseeds come around

[Just Passin' By]

I honestly would be more comfortable with that. At least then Id know that the customer was excercising more than the half brain cell it required to operate their basic motor functions to get around.

If youre so socially inept that the only way you can start a conversation for help is to ask a glaringly obvious, stupid ****ing question and out yourself as a complete dumbass, perhaps you should shop online, or get someone to do your shopping for you.

Excuse me, could you help me find _____?

How ****ing hard is that? Instead you walk up and ask if I work here. Its just a stupid ****ing question, and the most common "ice breaker" amongst the socially inept.

Like I said. You're being a dick. The customer's not the problem. You are.

[mdstu]

Yeah, it goes both ways. For every stupid customer story told here, I'm sure there is a stupid "guy working at X store" story.

[ThaVirus]

Like I said. You're being a dick. The customer's not the problem. You are.

Do you have any setting other than "condescending prick"?

[Just Passin' By]

Yeah, it goes both ways. For every stupid customer story told here, I'm sure there is a stupid "guy working at X store" story.

Just before Christmas, I was in a store. A young kid in front of me, who was probably 17 or 18 years old, hands the employee a sweater. He says:

"This was in the $30 rack, but it didn't have a tag and I think it probably cost more than that. I've only got $40 on me, and that's all I can spend on it, so I need to see if I can afford the sweater."

The cashier scans the sweater, looks at the kid and says "It's $300 sir, do you still want to buy it?"

[Just Passin' By]

Do you have any setting other than "condescending prick"?

Yes

[Gravedigger]

I'm the same in restaurants as I am in retail businesses, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I don't need 3 dicks in the same department at NFM or Best Buy coming up to me one at a time and asking me if I need help with something. I also don't need the waiter/waitress to come up to me two to three times and ask me how the food is, then have their manager do the same thing five minutes later. Please god, leave me the hell alone so I can enjoy my shopping experience/dining experience. If I need help, I'll come to you!

[Simply Red]

Buyers are liars.

[Simply Red]

When I first came to Kansas City I worked here http://i61.tinypic.com/2w32n9f.jpg and we had this http://i57.tinypic.com/zkmykg.jpg on the back of the shirts. Customers would still ask if we ****ing worked there.

which location?

[Al Bundy]

which location?

Troost.

[007]

I'm the same in restaurants as I am in retail businesses, LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE! I don't need 3 dicks in the same department at NFM or Best Buy coming up to me one at a time and asking me if I need help with something. I also don't need the waiter/waitress to come up to me two to three times and ask me how the food is, then have their manager do the same thing five minutes later. Please god, leave me the hell alone so I can enjoy my shopping experience/dining experience. If I need help, I'll come to you!

That crap drives me nuts at restaurants. I'm there to eat, not to answer all your questions that you conveniently choose to ask when my mouth is full. The manager thing is even more annoying. Just leave me in peace and I will leave with a much better opinion of your establishment. I just don't get the business philosophy of that shit at all.

[Mr. Christopher]

I'm the same in restaurants as I am in retail businesses, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I don't need 3 dicks in the same department at NFM or Best Buy coming up to me one at a time and asking me if I need help with something. I also don't need the waiter/waitress to come up to me two to three times and ask me how the food is, then have their manager do the same thing five minutes later. Please god, leave me the hell alone so I can enjoy my shopping experience/dining experience. If I need help, I'll come to you!


Honestly, I would have no problem just leaving you alone, if that's what you wanted. The problem is, for every person like you, there's about five others who don't want to have to hunt you down if they need something. On top of that, there are about two or three managers who will have your ass if they find out you didn't check back with them X amount of times during their visit.

It's a tough balancing act. I try to greet once, approach them once on the sales floor, gauge their level of interest (in my help), let them know I'm available for help if they need it, then I get out of their way until they want my help...and usually, sooner or later, they do

[007]

Honestly, I would have no problem just leaving you alone, if that's what you wanted. The problem is, for every person like you, there's about five others who don't want to have to hunt you down if they need something. On top of that, there are about two or three managers who will have your ass if they find out you didn't check back with them X amount of times during their visit.

It's a tough balancing act. I try to greet once, approach them once on the sales floor, gauge their level of interest (in my help), let them know I'm available for help if they need it, then I get out of their way until they want my help...and usually, sooner or later, they do

It makes perfect sense in a retail store. I would much rather send you away myself then have to hunt you down. Restaurants though...Leave me the hell alone after I have my food.

[Rausch]

That crap drives me nuts at restaurants. I'm there to eat, not to answer all your questions that you conveniently choose to ask when my mouth is full. The manager thing is even more annoying. Just leave me in peace and I will leave with a much better opinion of your establishment. I just don't get the business philosophy of that shit at all.

I don't know what it's like anywhere else but I live in a small town and almost everything not franchise is going buffet.

Great. You give me a drink (that I refill myself) and napkins (most of the time also on the table.)

Unless you give me oral pleasure there's no way in hell you get more than $2. You are providing me no service. At all.

You don't take my order, serve me, or even so much as fill my glass.

Where in that process do I owe you for nothing?...

[Jimmya]

You are correct. ..it's a crap shoot knowing how many times to approach each table.

[007]

I don't know what it's like anywhere else but I live in a small town and almost everything not franchise is going buffet.

Great. You give me a drink (that I refill myself) and napkins (most of the time also on the table.)

Unless you give me oral pleasure there's no way in hell you get more than $2. You are providing me no service. At all.

You don't take my order, serve me, or even so much as fill my glass.

Where in that process do I owe you for nothing?...
That is an entirely different beast. I also agree. Though I rarely eat at buffets, I don't give normal tips at them either.

A new trend I am seeing with buffets is they want you to pay first then eat. Welp, there went the tip because I sure as hell am not tipping for service I have not received yet. If I happen to have cash I will leave something, but I rarely ever carry any cash.

[Rausch]

You are correct. ..it's a crap shoot knowing how many times to approach each table.

http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/you-re-warned-now-stay-away.png

[Mr. Christopher]

One thing that irritates me, similar to the "do you work here" question, is the comment I get 1000 times a day over the phone: "Yeah, I have a question..."

You called me to OBVIOUSLY ask me a question. So don't start your conversation with, "I have a question", just ask the question. Chances are, your question could more quickly and efficiently be answered by doing a quick Google search, rather than bothering me 100 times a day.

I keep waiting for the day when someone will call up and say, "I have a statement"...followed up by some random thought, "I believe that geese are nature's assholes, that is all."

[Mr. Christopher]

It makes perfect sense in a retail store. I would much rather send you away myself then have to hunt you down. Restaurants though...Leave me the hell alone after I have my food.


I don't mind if they check back ONCE after I get my food, just in case I need a refill on my drink or something like that...but two or three times AND the manager...all trying to talk to me when I have food in my mouth...yeah, that's annoying

[007]

I don't mind if they check back ONCE after I get my food, just in case I need a refill on my drink or something like that...but two or three times AND the manager...all trying to talk to me when I have food in my mouth...yeah, that's annoying

Here in Topeka, it is never just once. Usually 2-3 times and then a manager in a couple places as well.

For me, the best service is service you never really see. My glass is always full but for the life of me I don't remember you coming to fill it. That is service I truly appreciate.

[Mr. Christopher]

For me, the best service is service you never really see. My glass is always full but for the life of me I don't remember you coming to fill it. That is service I truly appreciate.


I had this kind of service last night. It was at Buffalo Wild Wings, and we've had this server before, but she's probably one of the best servers in town. She's always there when you need her, never there when you don't. It's like she has a sixth sense about when you have a question or would like to add something to your order, and by the time you even THINK about needing a refill, she has already brought it to you.

I tip her well, and I hope others do, too. Good servers are hard to find

[Jimmya]

Good servers are one in a million.

[Wallcrawler]

Like I said. You're being a dick. The customer's not the problem. You are.

Judging by your stance on this, fervently defending this ridiculous approach, you in fact are among the knuckle dragging mouth breathers that go into an establishment where it is plain to everyone who works there, and immediately ask the first uniformed staff member you see if they work there.


When you go to a vehicle repair facility, do you ask the guy in the garage if he's a mechanic?

Do you enter a barber shop and ask if they give haircuts?

Do you ask the mailman if he's delivering mail?


People like you, people who ask stupid fucking questions they already have the answer to are the basis for those "Here's Your Sign" jokes.


Just keep asking stupid questions, and wear your sign with pride, champ.

[Mike in SW-MO]

One thing that irritates me, similar to the "do you work here" question, is the comment I get 1000 times a day over the phone: "Yeah, I have a question..."

You called me to OBVIOUSLY ask me a question. So don't start your conversation with, "I have a question", just ask the question. Chances are, your question could more quickly and efficiently be answered by doing a quick Google search, rather than bothering me 100 times a day.

I keep waiting for the day when someone will call up and say, "I have a statement"...followed up by some random thought, "I believe that geese are nature's assholes, that is all."

Leave a number here and you won't have to wait much longer.

[mr. tegu]

What about the people that steal stuff and then return it? But the customer is always right!

[AndChiefs]

What about the people that steal stuff and then return it? But the customer is always right!

This reminds me of a story (and I have a lot of them).

I was working as a manager of one of the large drugstore chains when we had a customer come in trying to buy some vitamins for "Buy 1, Get One Free" which is a very common sale we had in our flyers. He was complaining that it wasn't ringing up. The reason for this...it wasn't on sale. I checked the shelf and we didn't have any old tags on there which might lead him to believe it was on sale.

I came back up to the counter and said that unfortunately I wouldn't be able to ring it up as buy one get one. He got pissed and pulled out his flyer showing clearly that it was buy one get one. The problem was that the flyer was for a different chain of drugstores which I pointed out to him. He argued a bit more and finally left with the one bottle.

I didn't have a chance to put the second bottle back on the shelf right away so I went to put it back a few minutes later. There were three open spaces on the shelf. Curious, I pulled up the surveillance tapes of the area. A couple minutes after leaving the first time he walked back in, went straight to the shelf, grabbed a second bottle, and then walked out.

It was buy one, get one free.

[The Franchise]

Like I said. You're being a dick. The customer's not the problem. You are.

It's called the customer can't figure out which is the appropriate question to ask at the time.

[Mr. Christopher]

Speaking of stories, working with a detective yesterday reminded me of one:

So this officer calls me up a couple years ago, wanting to get some security footage to build his case against a credit card thief. So he comes in, and I saved the footage on his flash drive. I handed the drive back to him, and he began to sift through his pockets for a business card. He pulls out his wallet, lays it on the counter, but cannot produce his card. He leaves, but forgets his wallet behind.

He literally brushes elbows with this dude coming in to trade a few items for cash. In order for us to take trades, we have to have ID, name, number, address, practically everything other than first born child. So I finish up his transaction, he says thanks, AND TAKES THE OFFICER'S WALLET AS IF IT WERE HIS.

This wallet had the officer's badge inside of it. If you're halfway intelligent, as soon as you realize this, you walk that wallet back in and say you "found" it, or you had a brain fart and took it by mistake.

No, this idiot throws the wallet in the bushes, takes the money and the credit cards...and proceeds to use them at various places.

Needless to say, the officer was back within about fifteen minutes building a new case, giving me the same flash drive for the new footage. That bastard was arrested within the hour, and the detective hit him with everything he could: theft, impersonating and officer, fraud, etc.

I don't think I've ever been a witness to such quick justice

[Jimmya]

Straight dumbass.