Hot Pockets Unfit for Human Consumption

[gblowfish]

But you probably knew that already....

http://www.kolotv.com/home/headlines/Nestle-Recalls-Some-Hot-Pockets-246064471.html

Nestle is voluntarily recalling two of its Hot Pockets products as part of a larger meat recall.

The food maker said Tuesday that it is recalling an unspecified number of "Philly Steak" and its "Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese" Hot Pockets in certain sizes.

Nestle says the products may have been affected by a meat recall by Rancho Feeding Corp. that was announced last week.

Rancho is recalling more than 8.7 million pounds of beef products after regulators said that it processed diseased and unhealthy animals without a full inspection. The USDA says the products were unfit for human consumption.

No illnesses have been reported.

Nestle says a small quantity of meat from Rancho was used at a California production facility that makes Hot Pockets.

[Dartgod]

Obligatory Jim Gaffigan "Hot Pockets" video...

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/mQSRB_feUJ8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Predarat]

Good, I had the Pepperoni for lunch. You had me worried there.

[DMAC]

Good, I had the Pepperoni for lunch. You had me worried there.

Disgusting.

[Sully]

Welp...
There goes my Hot Pockets and curdled milk diet.

[Omaha]

Who is buying and eating that shit? Please stop.

[TLO]

Ban hot pockets.

No, really. They shouldn't be made available for purchase.

[Predarat]

Who is buying and eating that shit? Please stop.

The "No, disgusting Pig" types.

[htismaqe]

I wouldn't feed hot pockets to pets or livestock, let alone my family.

JFC. Gross.

[blaise]

The best time to buy them is now. They'll be double checking all the hog anus for quality after this.

[Fish]

I bought a Hot Pocket one time. Once. I took one tiny careful bite, which caused a volcanic eruption of pepperoni magma that melted off half of my tongue.

Never again.

[saphojunkie]

I love beef pockets.

[KCUnited]

Wait, they're claiming that prior to this, Hot Pockets were made from meat that wasn't diseased?

[l4z4rd]

While I've never eaten a hot pocket before, shouldn't the title be Beef from Rancho Feeding Corp. unfit for human consumption instead of hot pockets.

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

I tried one when the first came out. Ham & cheese, I think it was. Fucking gross, and I like those cheap ass Banquet pot pies.

[CrazyPhuD]

I'm glad I only have sex with them instead of eat them! Whew! Crisis averted!

[gblowfish]

I'm glad I only have sex with them instead of eat them! Whew! Crisis averted!

Man, that would hurt. A lot. A really lot.

[CrazyPhuD]

Man, that would hurt. A lot. A really lot.

Two words.....

Asbestos condoms

o:-)

[Mr. Laz]

I don't think i've ever had a hot pocket.

[Just Passin' By]

Wait.

What does this thread have to do with a homosexual celebrity coming out of the closet?

[Mr. Laz]

Wait.

What does this thread have to do with a homosexual celebrity coming out of the closet?Hot pocket is the nickname of Verne Troyer in the gay community.

http://content8.flixster.com/rtactor/40/75/40754_pro.jpg

[Hammock Parties]

Hot pockets are also a deal breaker.

[LoneWolf]

Hot pockets are also a deal breaker.

What about an Alabama Hot Pocket?

http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee109/stupidsuck/AHPlogo.jpg

[J Diddy]

This should read hot pockets are unfit for human consumption, oh and the meat is contaminated as well.

I think that would put this in a state of accuracy as far as thread titles go.

[Radar Chief]

I bought a Hot Pocket one time. Once. I took one tiny careful bite, which caused a volcanic eruption of pepperoni magma that melted off half of my tongue.

Never again.

I feel your pain, but it was good after bar food when I was in the Army and didn’t have more in my room than a fridge and microwave. Now that I own a house with an actual kitchen I can scrounge up better vittles.

[Braincase]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FqlY9zwdnGU/UXSP_Kjj_JI/AAAAAAAABMg/u72BoahxIes/s1600/tumblr_lpxu4eU4eC1qkf5c4o1_r3_500.gif

[Jimmya]

Nasty, don't eat them.

[Predarat]

Totino's Pizza Rolls > Hot Pockets x 10000000000000

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/28/00/02/0004280002693_500X500.jpg

[WhiteWhale]

Given the misleading headline I'd assumed this was about hot pockets themselves, and not just a part of a much wider meat recall.

So what?

[BIG_DADDY]

Hot pockets has always been unfit for human consumption. Never had one, never will.

[WhiteWhale]

Totino's Pizza Rolls > Hot Pockets x 10000000000000

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/28/00/02/0004280002693_500X500.jpg

Awesome.

What's that say? Ah... "Pizza topping with pepperoni seasoning"...

My favorite pizza topping has always been 'pizza topping' with pepperoni seasoning.

[Anyong Bluth]

I think I'd still take my chances with the Hot Pocket versus the African resort restaurant they discovered was serving human burgers. Even worse, people were praising the food to the point that patrons were lining up stretching down the block waiting to dine there.

(no, they (the patrons) didn't know if was human meat, but it only got shutdown after an anonymous tip, and 11 people working at or affiliated with the burger place we're taken into custody. Police found at least 2 human heads, shotguns, and very very big bush knives.)

[CoMoChief]

I've never been a fan of hot pockets.

Not a fan of microwavable meals either except those chicken/broccoli marinara cafe steamer bowls, they're like $1 at HyVee on special.

I tried easy mac because I was lazy and like kraft mac n cheese til the day I die. It was aboslutely terrible and I had to throw it and the entire pkg away, and the pasta had this nasty smell to it after boiling it in the plastic bowl it came in. Hope I don't die of some kind of poisoning.

But Hot Pockets are nasty, my old roomate loves them. I can't stand to even look at them.

[BIG_DADDY]

I think I'd still take my chances with the Hot Pocket versus the African resort restaurant they discovered was serving human burgers. Even worse, people were praising the food to the point that patrons were lining up stretching down the block waiting to dine there.

(no, they (the patrons) didn't know if was human meat, but it only got shutdown after an anonymous tip, and 11 people working at or affiliated with the burger place we're taken into custody. Police found at least 2 human heads, shotguns, and very very big bush knives.)

You gotta link on that?

[Beef Supreme]

Hot Pocket
The act of shitting inside a fold-out couch and then re-closing it, leaving it for an unsuspecting guest. (see similar terms: "upper-decker", "mexican waffle", "trunk muffin")
That drunk guy that slept over last night left us a hot pocket.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Those dollar Totinos aren't bad at all

[LoneWolf]

Hot Pocket
The act of shitting inside a fold-out couch and then re-closing it, leaving it for an unsuspecting guest. (see similar terms: "upper-decker", "mexican waffle", "trunk muffin")
That drunk guy that slept over last night left us a hot pocket.

Look up Alabama Hot Pocket. It's worse.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Last time I ate a hot pocket it gave me a clean breaker

[Anyong Bluth]

You gotta link on that?

http://www.timeslive.co.za/africa/2014/02/17/nigeria-shuts-down-restaurant-serving-human-meat

[beach tribe]

So I just finished a Ham and Cheese Hot pocket, and can confirm.

No, they are not fit for human consumption. God, it was horrible.

[CoMoChief]

So I just finished a Ham and Cheese Hot pocket, and can confirm.

No, they are not fit for human consumption. God, it was horrible.

you finished it?

jesus...

[Anyong Bluth]

How deadly can the miniscule amount of meat that is actually in them be after its been nuked for 2+ minutes really be... ?

[Buzz]

How deadly can the miniscule amount of meat that is actually in them be after its been nuked for 2+ minutes really be... ?

Pretty sure I drink enough beer to kill any foreign objects in my gut.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Those things sell like hot cakes man. It's crazy how many of these things sell.

[Hydrae]

Wait, they're claiming that prior to this, Hot Pockets were made from meat that wasn't diseased?

No, it just wasn't inspected. You know, to make sure the level of disease was just right.

[whoman69]

Of all the crappy things on the market to eat, people are really piling on hot pockets?

[Pasta Little Brioni]

They are hell who man

[CrazyPhuD]

http://www.timeslive.co.za/africa/2014/02/17/nigeria-shuts-down-restaurant-serving-human-meat

Did you get a choice between the white meat or the dark meat? :shrug:

[Anyong Bluth]

I heard Brannen Greene had a stockpile of pepperoni, and was all over Lawrence tossing them left and right like live grenades.

[gblowfish]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/02/guy-had-sex-with-hot-pocket_n_4885133.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000022

We don't know for sure if we're alone on this planet or if the universe is actually just a hologram, but we do know why this kid had sex with a ham and cheese Hot Pocket.

Thanks to First We Feast, we're now blissfully aware of what made this 18 year old, who goes by the codename VERSACEPOCKETS, decide to fornicate with one of America's favorite savory pastries, post evidence on Vine and become Internet famous.

"I just thought it was so f----n’ funny," he said. He also hinted that he did it to gain Twitter followers, but that plan didn't exactly pan out because, as Jezebel points out, he's now banned from Twitter, Vine and blocked by @hotpockets.

VERSACEPOCKETS also said those looking to follow in his flakey-crusted footsteps should wrap it up.

"I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot," he said. "I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, 'Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.'"

[Pasta Little Brioni]

I heard Brannen Greene had a stockpile of pepperoni, and was all over Lawrence tossing them left and right like live grenades.

The Hot pockets would be a better team name than a mythical pilgrim