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Silock
08-24-2014, 06:12 PM
Semi-short version of the story:

A few years ago, we decided to adopt our first dog. Had it a week, and I was the one walking it and spending all the time with it. But eventually, the constant coddling from my wife turned the dog toward her, and it stopped hanging out with me, even though I was still the one feeding and walking it.
https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3669/11397694804_f8cf751309.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/inbazo)Foxy Pounce (https://flic.kr/p/inbazo) by silock99 (https://www.flickr.com/people/111627585@N07/), on Flickr

So, a few years later, we get a second dog so I could have a dog for myself. This dog became attached to the other dog more than any human. So, fail again.
https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3728/11397668895_7fb4aa295c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/inb2SF)Gracie Belle (https://flic.kr/p/inb2SF) by silock99 (https://www.flickr.com/people/111627585@N07/), on Flickr

We adopt a THIRD dog last year, and it takes to me immediately. It sleeps with me, follows me around the house wherever I go, you name it. It's MY dog. And it's a velcro dog. Awesome. About a month ago, it out of the blue stopped doing all of that. Now it just stays wherever my wife is in the house, sleeps wherever she is, and pretty much ignores me. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU.
http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg121/Silock99/8517ADDE-4776-4200-A4D2-473703BAC36D-1912-0000059CFBEBBFDF_zps125aeb1e.jpg (http://s247.photobucket.com/user/Silock99/media/8517ADDE-4776-4200-A4D2-473703BAC36D-1912-0000059CFBEBBFDF_zps125aeb1e.jpg.html)

But, the second dog has now become MY dog, and stays with me wherever I am, follows me around and sleeps with me. Maybe it's because they're all female dogs, and bitches be crazy.

Cliff's Notes: Dogs be crazy.

Mr_Tomahawk
08-24-2014, 06:13 PM
Because chiefs.

Rain Man
08-24-2014, 06:14 PM
I recognize that this is a personal question, but does your wife smell like bacon?

TimBone
08-24-2014, 06:15 PM
Need a picture of the wife before commenting.

Silock
08-24-2014, 06:16 PM
I recognize that this is a personal question, but does your wife smell like bacon?

She must, right? I mean, it's the only logical explanation, because I'm a goddamned peach to be around.

RealSNR
08-24-2014, 06:22 PM
Need a picture of the wife before commenting.

This.

Coochie liquor
08-24-2014, 06:32 PM
Have you tried putting peanut butter on your junk to lure them away? Maybe bacon wrap your testicles??

SDChiefs
08-24-2014, 06:36 PM
You should write a country music song.

WhawhaWhat
08-24-2014, 06:37 PM
Kill them. That'll show her.

Skyy God
08-24-2014, 06:37 PM
Maybe it's you.....

DeezNutz
08-24-2014, 06:37 PM
The peanut butter goes on you, not the dog.

The Franchise
08-24-2014, 06:51 PM
Both of our dogs are female, the oldest being my wife's dog before I showed up, and they're both attached to me.

Demonpenz
08-24-2014, 07:36 PM
Lots of times womans vaginas are salty and sweet smelling and that draws dogs near.

TribalElder
08-24-2014, 07:40 PM
You need to become the Alpha dog

http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/exposure/content/photo/photo/67270_cesar_7hqdjmj4am3d2cszxsyeykq4xpncurxrbvj6lwuht2ya6mzmafma_200x200.jpg

be dominating

stumppy
08-24-2014, 07:42 PM
She;s feeding them treats when you're not around.