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View Full Version : Poop Stock Tip: Buy Kleenex

Buehler445
10-31-2014, 10:12 AM
Fuck colds. Seriously.
ptlyon
10-31-2014, 10:22 AM
Sams Club baby
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 10:32 AM
Sams Club baby

Been there. Even then, the amount of kleenexes I require makes me a goddamn danger to forests worldwide.
Lonewolf Ed
10-31-2014, 10:37 AM
Be sure to multitask in the shower. Get it all steamy, press one nostril shut and blow out with the other, then switch! Cleans it out good all up in there. Just be sure to make it slide down the walls and into the drain.
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 10:44 AM
Be sure to multitask in the shower. Get it all steamy, press one nostril shut and blow out with the other, then switch! Cleans it out good all up in there. Just be sure to make it slide down the walls and into the drain.

Learned that skill a long time ago. The first time I did it with my wife within earshot, she gave me the ol "WTF did I marry?" look.

I even took a 12 hour pseudophed this morning. The good shit. The meth shot you have to show ID to get and I'm still mowing through kleenexes like Rambo through cheap extras.
Rausch
10-31-2014, 10:52 AM
I even took a 12 hour pseudophed this morning. The good shit. The meth shot you have to show ID to get and I'm still mowing through kleenexes like Rambo through cheap extras.

Fuck viagra.

The 12 hour pseudo makes your sausage go full-acorn...until you need to use it and then it's the fucking right arm of Stallone in Over The Top...
cosmo20002
10-31-2014, 11:03 AM
Fuck colds. Seriously.

Yeah...I'm sure its just a cold and not ebola.
http://i2.listal.com/image/1531941/600full-powers-boothe.jpg
Demonpenz
10-31-2014, 11:11 AM
Been buying more since those J Lawrence pics surfaced.
Reerun_KC
10-31-2014, 11:23 AM
I thought this is because Geno is coming to KC and gonna tear up the Chiefs defense...
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 11:33 AM
Fuck viagra.

The 12 hour pseudo makes your sausage go full-acorn...until you need to use it and then it's the fucking right arm of Stallone in Over The Top...

ROFL. What? Pseudophed makes your dick hard? That's... Really something.

Yeah...I'm sure its just a cold and not ebola.
http://i2.listal.com/image/1531941/600full-powers-boothe.jpg

Unless Ebola is transferred through milo and can stay viable in combine cabs I have virtually no shot at getting it.

I thought this is because Geno is coming to KC and gonna tear up the Chiefs defense...

Didn't he get benched? IDK. DGAF to be honest. Can your wife get me some good shit? Like cures everything shit? Unless it's te pseudophed Rausch is taking. I don't need that shit going on in the combine.
Amnorix
10-31-2014, 11:41 AM
:LOL: I"m with you. I hate having snot and blow my nose like an OCD lunatic. I also do Sudafed. Good stuff.

Serious tips that may help as we get into cold season:

1. Start popping Cold-eeze like pez the SECOND you have a scratchy throat or any other sense you may have a cold coming on. Fuck one every 6 hours or whatever -- 1 every TWO. Shit works.

2. This is gross and maybe it's just me, but when I wake up in the morning as a cold is coming on, sometimes I'll have some crap in the back of my throat. I hack like a bastard to get rid of it, and SOMETIMES I yaak up a disturbingly large pile of yellow crap, which basically kills the cold dead.

Maybe I should put a spoiler around this post, but hey, it's CP, and I've seen much worse...
Reerun_KC
10-31-2014, 11:45 AM
Buehler, she said DIAF its your only option...
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 11:55 AM
:LOL: I"m with you. I hate having snot and blow my nose like an OCD lunatic. I also do Sudafed. Good stuff.

Serious tips that may help as we get into cold season:

1. Start popping Cold-eeze like pez the SECOND you have a scratchy throat or any other sense you may have a cold coming on. Fuck one every 6 hours or whatever -- 1 every TWO. Shit works.

2. This is gross and maybe it's just me, but when I wake up in the morning as a cold is coming on, sometimes I'll have some crap in the back of my throat. I hack like a bastard to get rid of it, and SOMETIMES I yaak up a disturbingly large pile of yellow crap, which basically kills the cold dead.

Maybe I should put a spoiler around this post, but hey, it's CP, and I've seen much worse...

I have terribad allergies so it's hard to discern the beginning stages of a cold as such without dismissing them as allergies.

I take Flonaise which changes the dynamic of the snot environment, but I'm with you, I'm aware of the crap pile making the throat hurt but this is well beyond that. Flonaise does a respectable job of keeping that out.

On the flonaise note, I have to super blow the nose out in the procedure outlined by LoneWolf Ed before taking the floniase. If I don't manage to get every bit of snot out before I take it, by morning the snot has turned into some stretch Armstrong type super snot. It's like the shot you see in Cartoons. It's REALLY stretchy and stringy. And it smells funny. So then getting it out is a bitch because you can blow into a Kleenex and grab an end of it and that shit will stretch a foot. I'm not kidding. Plus it seems to lodge itself into some remote corner of my nose. It really is quite the endeavor to get it out.

I labeled this as a poop thread. People should be prepared to be grossed out.
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 11:56 AM
Buehler, she said DIAF its your only option...

You're lying.

She's way nicer than that. To me anyway. :D
gblowfish
10-31-2014, 12:13 PM
My friend Gary has a bad one this week.
Reerun_KC
10-31-2014, 12:18 PM
You're lying.



She's way nicer than that. To me anyway. :D


you seen through my clever disguise....
gblowfish
10-31-2014, 12:20 PM
I thought maybe you guys were all crankin' it to the women's halloween costume thread.... I'd use paper towels, they're more absorbent.
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 12:20 PM
you seen through my clever disguise....

ROFL

My mad deductive skills at work.
Reerun_KC
10-31-2014, 12:25 PM
Mrs Reerun says Mucinex 1200 mg twice a day and sudafed reqular 30 twice a day and a zyrtec once a day every morning...
Reerun_KC
10-31-2014, 12:26 PM
That should get you a jump start on loosening all that shit up in your head...
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 12:28 PM
Mrs Reerun says Mucinex 1200 mg twice a day and sudafed reqular 30 twice a day and a zyrtec once a day every morning...

Thx.

I don't have anything in the chest ATM but as soon as I do I'm hammering that shit like candy. 'm taking Zyrtec at night and Allegra in the morning. And Pseudophed.

Appreciate the advice.
Reerun_KC
10-31-2014, 12:32 PM
and if that doesnt work, I suggest and antifreeze enema to help get things moving along...
ThaVirus
10-31-2014, 12:41 PM
Not getting a cold in the first place is the best possible scenario.

Wash your hands frequently, don't touch your face, eat healthy, exercise, and get plenty of sleep/rest.
Buehler445
10-31-2014, 01:28 PM
Not getting a cold in the first place is the best possible scenario.

Wash your hands frequently, don't touch your face, eat healthy, exercise, and get plenty of sleep/rest.

Sleep has been the problem I'm sure. It's pretty hard to track down this time of year