Right now - how good a high school quarterback would you be?

[Rain Man]

Here's the scenario. It's Friday night. You go out to get yourself some Popeye's Fried Chicken. As you drive over, you see the local high school stadium lit up, and you see a snow cone stand up in the booster club's booth.

Dang, you think to yourself. I could really go for a snow cone right now. So you pull off and park and walk over to get yourself one. There are only 5 seconds left in the game.

At that moment, the quarterback gets Theismanized on a fluke hit. Most of the team immediately starts vomiting. Their helicopter parents, assuming ebola and regretting their stance against vaccination, immediately descend from the stands and take them home, with plans to move them to the soccer team as soon as possible.

When all is said and done, there are only ten players left on the home team.

The team's not great, but it's not bad. They're a .500 club in Class 4A, with a reasonable line and slightly above average running back. One receiver made all-district last year and the left guard may have a scholarship offer to Montana State. The tight end is all-conference and he's only a sophomore.

But they have no quarterback. After exhausting all other options, they look up into the stands where you're just starting to enjoy your blue raspberry snow cone. You have two years of eligibility left from high school even though you're at your current age. and one of the cheerleaders has a pair of cleats in her car that will fit you.

They need a quarterback to finish out the season. You have a dream. Assume that there are six games left on the schedule, and you can be at every practice. By the end of the year, how would you perform?

Remember, this is happening right now. Your current age, your current weight, your current conditioning.

[Discuss Thrower]

I'd have a Palko esque velocity on my spiral, wouldn't be able to run a read option, probably get easily confused on which route to throw to.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Well, seeing how I'm 4 yards away from a heart attack it won't end well.

[BigRedChief]

Here's the scenario. It's Friday night. You go out to get yourself some Popeye's Fried Chicken. As you drive over, you see the local high school stadium lit up, and you see a snow cone stand up in the booster club's booth.

Dang, you think to yourself. I could really go for a snow cone right now. So you pull off and park and walk over to get yourself one. There are only 5 seconds left in the game.

At that moment, the quarterback gets Theismanized on a fluke hit. Most of the team immediately starts vomiting. Their helicopter parents, assuming ebola and regretting their stance against vaccination, immediately descend from the stands and take them home, with plans to move them to the soccer team as soon as possible.

When all is said and done, there are only ten players left on the home team.
The team's not great, but it's not bad. They're a .500 club in Class 4A, with a reasonable line and slightly above average running back. One receiver made all-district last year and the left guard may have a scholarship offer to Montana State. The tight end is all-conference and he's only a sophomore.

But they have no quarterback. After exhausting all other options, they look up into the stands where you're just starting to enjoy your blue raspberry snow cone. You have two years of eligibility left from high school even though you're at your current age. and one of the cheerleaders has a pair of cleats in her car that will fit you.

They need a quarterback to finish out the season. You have a dream. Assume that there are six games left on the schedule, and you can be at every practice. By the end of the year, how would you perform?

Remember, this is happening right now. Your current age, your current weight, your current conditioning.Better than at least a BILLION people.

[The Franchise]

http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/jimfred82/alex_zps2b752c9f.jpg

Let's do this.

[Bugeater]

I sucked at throwing the ball when I had a good rotator cuff.

[Rain Man]

Honestly, I would be off the charts bad.

I can run, so I've got that going for me. But probably not nearly as fast as a typical high school kid.

On the passing, I've got a torn elbow tendon right now that completely puts throwing out of the question. But even if it was healthy I'd have a range of about 15 yards maximum. My throwing muscles don't get much of a workout.

In terms of reading defenses and stuff, I could probably pick up on that pretty fast. It would be the execution that's a problem.

[Dayze]

How close are the nearest mountains?

[TimBone]

http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/jimfred82/alex_zps2b752c9f.jpg

Let's do this.
ROFL

[stevieray]

Adequate at slants curls and posts...just no hail marys.
Ii could prolly still make people miss.. a little...lol

Not Al Bundy

[ROYC75]

My current age, my current weight, my current conditioning?

You Tube moment...... Crash & Burn!

Give me my body back in 1975 ( I was a QB ) and my current brain ....... Oh forget about it, no chemistry, just too many odds against it for only 5 seconds & my current age & condition.

[Rain Man]

How close are the nearest mountains?

Not quite close enough to throw over.

[tk13]

How much you wanna bet I can throw a football over them mountains?

[TimBone]

Can the TE move to QB, and I move to TE? I know he's all conference, but he's only a sophomore, lots of time to learn a new position.

I'd be much more valuable to the team as a TE. I am inaccurate as a passer, but I can block and I can catch anything that touches my hands.

[Rain Man]

Can the TE move to QB, and I move to TE? I know he's all conference, but he's only a sophomore, lots of time to learn a new position.

I'd be much more valuable to the team as a TE. I am inaccurate as a passer, but I can block and I can catch anything that touches my hands.


You can't screw over his scholarship chances. He's got a chance to be all-state at some point.

[TimBone]

Also, what's the body type and relationship status of that cheerleader?

[stevieray]

too bad the poll isn't public.

[Why Not?]

I'd like to think I would be ok, but have you seen the size and speed of these high school kids nowadays? I'm pretty sure I'd be fucked and most other people here would also. I'm pretty good at flag football against dudes in their 20's, so there's that.

[saphojunkie]

Whatever QB I was, I guarantee CP would hate me.

[Baby Lee]

Deplorable. Stubby Patton Oswalt fingers.

Throwing a regulation football well and dunking a basketball on a regulation rim were the two things I resigned myself to never doing in my life.

Sad part is, my throwing ability with baseballs, heck even a nerf football, are pretty darn good, and I have good field vision from playing soccer. But anything requiring a tight spiral and zip with a regulation football eternally escapes my grasp [npi]. Plus I'm a lefty which could proved vexing for defenses.

Scrambling and option play would be possible, put anything from the pocket would be weak sauce.

[TimBone]

You can't screw over his scholarship chances. He's got a chance to be all-state at some point.
How about that worthless bag of bones playing WR opposite of the of the guy who made all district last year? Can he play any QB?

Or is it QB for me or nothing?

I'm telling you, I can really catch. I feel like the team would be doing itself a huge disservice by not making me a receiving option.

[stevieray]

Plus I'm a lefty


me too!

:rockon:

[Just Passin' By]

Flip that guard over to the right side. The TE, RB and I are going to play catch, all game long. People will be screaming "We could have watched Alex Smith if we wanted to see this shit!" from the stands.

[stevieray]

Flip that guard over to the right side. The TE, RB and I are going to play catch, all game long. People will be screaming "We could have watched Alex Smith if we wanted to see this shit!" from the stands.

Just Passin By the WR's

[Pablo]

I can wing a football pretty well still. Shit for speed and mobility though. If I had one super fast option I could throw it up for him to run under.

[ROYC75]

How about that worthless bag of bones playing WR opposite of the of the guy who made all district last year? Can he play any QB?

Or is it QB for me or nothing?

I'm telling you, I can really catch. I feel like the team would be doing itself a huge disservice by not making me a receiving option.


As a Sr, we ran the damn wishbone offense in HS. Our starting QB was faster than me on the option, he got the start. I had the better arm and wing it around.

This produced 2 problems on our team, I was the best WR that could catch the ball and we ran it 80% - 90% of the time.

We had nobody else who could really catch the ball well when I went in to QB.

[hometeam]

I just played in an inter-dealership flag football game on Sunday.

I caught 4/4 for 110 yards including 2 first down catches and a 50 yard score. Also picked a ball with a 35 yard return, 2 'tackles', 2 passes defensed.

We beat the other store 37-7. All because we had a QB, they had a guy playing QB, but he wasn't very good~ Sooooooo can I play wideout and let my co-worker play QB? Cause im gonna suck at QB.

[Rain Man]

Also, what's the body type and relationship status of that cheerleader?

Well, she had cleats in her trunk so I'll let you draw your own conclusions. But it was one of the guys who now has to play soccer, so I hear they could be breaking up soon.

[Ecto-I]

I'm 31, and my conditioning is pretty good. I do pretty well in school yard football. I can throw the ball probably 45-50 yards in the air. I'm athletic but physically less gifted than the avg high school QB.

First game or two would be rough but I think the last four, I would be better than average and I'm attributing that mostly to intelligence (ie not forcing throws I know I don't have, learning to read defenses, etc.)

[Just Passin' By]

Just Passin By the WR's

:D

Just Passin' By is currently rehabbing, post-op. So, Just Passin' By is planning to just avoid getting sacked.

[Reerun_KC]

Thread full of uncle Rico's. Priceless

[Reerun_KC]

http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120117222806/napoleondynamite/images/d/de/Uncle_Rico.jpg

[Buehler445]

Not worth a fuck. I'm fat. Old. Arthritis in my knees. My shoulder is junk.

[hometeam]

Buck went to HS with Alex Smith and said he sucked. I will be about that good.

[rico]

I would be pretty bad. To start, when I turned 20, I acquired a rare condition called cold urticaria. So cold games would possibly induce a anaphylactic stroke. Also, I was a baseball pitcher from 3rd grade all the way through high school. I was never able to adapt my throwing motion from baseball to football. I was never able to throw a good spiral because I couldn't help myself from throwing a football like a baseball...just couldn't do it. Two things in life that I really suck at in life: 1.) Fighting histamines in my skin and 2.) Throwing a football.

I'd suck at QB...now and back then.

[Perineum Ripper]

You would be better off getting a 12 year old girl throwing the ball than me..I could move to TE or OLB but I can't throw a ball that far..I could be the high school version of Alex Smith

[Katipan]

In 6th grade I beat all the boys for distance, but my ball is still as wobbly as ever.

It's pretty sad when my man will coach pee-wee and I try to toss him a ball.

I'd stake my track training on a good punt return tho. So long as it's flag football.

[Buehler445]

If we are switching positions for one snap, I'm confident I could get to the QB on one snap as long as the backside DE could keep contain and the LBs don't leave huge gaps wide open.

I may never walk again but I can get a sack in one snap, I think.

[digger]

hand off, hand off, hand off, punt. Wait I'd make a better RT or RG.

[chiefzilla1501]

https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2x6zgYG2e1ru4afro1_500.gifhttp://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120117222806/napoleondynamite/images/d/de/Uncle_Rico.jpg

[ChiefsCountry]

In high school I was the backup QB, but never had to play. WR was lots of fun, wish we passed more though. Today - bad shoulder and bad knee - no way I even try anymore.

[ThaVirus]

I'm less than 10 years removed from high school. I'm really at the age for peak athleticism, I feel, and I've always had a pretty good arm.

The only issues id have is that I'm relatively short, although I think 5'10" would probably be enough to see over a high school line, and I never actually played QB. Maybe all the moving parts in front of me would be too much. Who knows..

[rockymtnchief]

If it was for a quarter or a half, I might be able to make a few passes. My elbow is too hammered for much more. I still toss the football around from time to time, but I haven't put any velocity on a throw for 10 years or more.

[BucEyedPea]

I answered as an armchair quarterback.

[Saccopoo]

https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6038sBh8d1qaeptio1_500.gif

[listopencil]

If Tim Tebow can win a playoff game against the Pittsburgh Steelers than I can lead our boys to State. Give me the cleats. I'm ready.

[cdcox]

If they ran a single wing formation I promise I would stay out of the way as long as they ran away from the side I was lined up on. Under those circumstances, pretty good.

[A Salt Weapon]

I'm 31, and my conditioning is pretty good. I do pretty well in school yard football. I can throw the ball probably 45-50 yards in the air. I'm athletic but physically less gifted than the avg high school QB.

First game or two would be rough but I think the last four, I would be better than average and I'm attributing that mostly to intelligence (ie not forcing throws I know I don't have, learning to read defenses, etc.)

Wow, change the age to 32, lower the yardage to 35-45 and that's my answer as well.

[Dave Lane]

I actually have very good accuracy and a nice touch on the ball, see the field well, can throw into tight coverage.

However, I can hardly outrun a 8 year old, my ability to think quickly enough with a full rush is very poor. Reflexes are very bad as well.

[Pitt Gorilla]

I sucked at throwing the ball when I had a good rotator cuff.I tore mine in HS football and haven't thrown well since.

[Hammock Parties]

I run a 5.9 and I can throw the ball about 30 yards.

I'd also be thinking about fucking the cheerleaders during the game.

So, yeah...

[TimBone]

I run a 5.9 and I can throw the ball about 30 yards.

I'd also be thinking about fucking the cheerleaders during the game.

So, yeah...

I've already got dibs on the mentioned cheerleader. Back off, BUD.

[Hammock Parties]

I've already got dibs on the mentioned cheerleader. Back off, BUD.

Plenty to go around.

[Aries Walker]

All of those years with my nose stuck in a book does not a championship caliber quarterback make. Alas.

[Gadzooks]

I was a better QB than my HS QB. I didn't know you could try out for the position. I thought they were born into it like royalty.

I played DL and played a year as a 6'2" 190 lb NT. I learned that the best way to stop the run is to lie down sideways. (the OL has to roll you out of the running lane).

I'd be a far more effective NT now but it would hurt more.

[Katipan]

All of those years with my nose stuck in a book does not a championship caliber quarterback make. Alas.

When I play Madden I just randomly mash buttons until I win.

AND I WIN.

[RealSNR]

I kind of suck at throwing a football, but Alex Smith has demonstrated to me that one only needs to be able to throw 10 yards to play QB. So I think I'd do okay.

[Dartgod]

Mama says foosball is the Devil.

[Sully]

Fat, slow, can't throw the ball to save my life.
I'd still be far better than the average HS QB, because I can read defenses, and because in high school you can take advantage of mismatches more than at any other level.
I'd be the king of throwing ball 5 yards in the air, and having my guy run it for an 80 yard TD reception.

[beach tribe]

I started for a year and a 1/2.

I know 1000 times more than I knew then and the arm is still there.

[lcarus]

Shit. Back in the day I could have been a running QB maybe. I was pretty quick. I raced Sproles in practice every day and could keep pretty close for a stretch. Now? Like right this instance? I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without getting tired. I'm way too out of shape. Cigarettes and laziness for 14 years....

[Simplicity]

Considering I just finished my high school football season as the starting quarterback... I'd be pretty good.

[Dunerdr]

I've got a jacked up shoulder soooo. But at 6'1" 243 I could step in other places. I miss playing 3-4 de in high school.

[Dunerdr]

Considering I just finished my high school football season as the starting quarterback... I'd be pretty good.

Meh jk where's you play

[Steron]

Hmmmm....

- 6'0" 265 pounds
- 2 right knee surgeries in 6 years
- Severe Osteopenia which requires daily pain meds, TENS Unit, and shots in my back several times a year to function
- Can throw 50 - 60 yards in the air with a regulation football
- 40 yard dash time can be timed on a calendar
- Lasik corrected vision
- Never played organized football
- Vertical leap? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! White men can't jump!

I'd say I would be a fiasco.

[loochy]

Is it ok to checkdown every time? If so, I think I can do it.

[stumppy]

i would be pretty good for about 4 plays. After that they'd need to wheel out the oxygen bottle for me.

[Titty Meat]

I would complete 4 yard passes to the RB and get a scholarship to the University Of Utah

[Willie Lanier]

Step one: I'd switch positions to mlb, qb of the defense,
step two: the other teams wouldn't score all season,
step three: they'd give me the nickname contact...
Step four: ????
Step five: canton/profit

[Predarat]

I would be worster than cAssHole

[Rain Man]

Step one: I'd switch positions to mlb, qb of the defense,
step two: the other teams wouldn't score all season,
step three: they'd give me the nickname contact...
Step four: ????
Step five: canton/profit


Given your username, I presume this is your actual biography?

[raybec 4]

I'm stunned that more of our CP Heisman trophy finalists haven't chimed in yet.

[rico]

I would complete 4 yard passes to the RB and get a scholarship to the University Of Utah

LMAO

[Aries Walker]

When I play Madden I just randomly mash buttons until I win.

AND I WIN.
And reading takes even less physical activity than that. Imagine.

[loochy]

When I play Madden I just randomly mash buttons until I win.

AND I WIN.

ill mash YOUR buttons

[Hammock Parties]

I would complete 4 yard passes to the RB and get a scholarship to the University Of Utah

this is how to do it, son

proud of you

[FishingRod]

I’m 49
Smoke
Drink
20lbs over weight
Could use surgery the shoulder of my throwing arm.

Obviously, I would be a star

[Dunerdr]

Hmmmm....

- 6'0" 265 pounds
- 2 right knee surgeries in 6 years
- Severe Osteopenia which requires daily pain meds, TENS Unit, and shots in my back several times a year to function
- Can throw 50 - 60 yards in the air with a regulation football
- 40 yard dash time can be timed on a calendar
- Lasik corrected vision
- Never played organized football
- Vertical leap? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! White men can't jump!

I'd say I would be a fiasco.
I'd say it'd be a fasano

[Graystoke]

Tell me more about the Snow Cone Benefits.
DO I get one before the games?
A Halftime Snack?
What about after the Game? Is there refreshments?

For me its all about the snacks.
I quit Cub Scouts in 4th Grade because the Pack Leader said "Your in 4th Grade now. No more snacks at Cub Scouts"

[Steron]

I'd say it'd be a fasano

Touche'

[lcarus]

What's Alex's 40 time? Because if I was close to that I could make 10 yard or less passes all day and take off for a first down when I needed. I doubt I'd be as good at sliding.