Oral Sex Frequency

[KC native]

So I've seen many of you guys bitch about not getting blow jobs frequently.

How often do you get them? Or in katipan's/luv's/billay's case, how often do you give them?

Oral is part of foreplay for my wife and I so I get head just about every time before we fuck. U jelly?

[Discuss Thrower]

Haven't got one since 2013. Before that I got a partial blowie twice in 2012. Before that a handful of times in 2010.

[KC native]

Haven't got one since 2013. Before that I got a partial blowie twice in 2012. Before that a handful of times in 2010.

You need to level up your talking to chicks skill tree.

[Discuss Thrower]

You need to level up your talking to chicks skill tree.

I've tapped out for the next two years with the now ended conversation with a Tinder chick.

Because Discuss Thrower

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Whenever I want. Why do you think I got married?

[Eleazar]

Where's the grape gatorade option?

[Baby Lee]

Whenever I want. Why do you think I got married?

Married? Is that what they're calling rib resection these days?

[Katipan]

Often enough to make whatever guy I'm doing it to forget that I must have done it a bunch of other times too.

[Nightfyre]

Well, the wife has been sick for a week so, that creates some noise in the dataset.

[ThaVirus]

I've tapped out for the next two years with the now ended conversation with a Tinder chick.



Because Discuss Thrower


Did you ruin it by being a morose weirdo?

[Eleazar]

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

[KC native]

Whenever I want. Why do you think I got married?

This guy gets it.

If your wife/gf/significant other isn't giving up the oral sex then you fucked up.

[KC native]

Often enough to make whatever guy I'm doing it to forget that I must have done it a bunch of other times too.

LMAO

[SAUTO]

This guy gets it.

If your wife/gf/significant other isn't giving up the oral sex then you fucked up.

exactly

[Dayze]

it's been so long that if it happened now, i'd probably call the police and tell them I'm being attacked.

[KC native]

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

You are not American sir. Please find the nearest exit and move to Canadia or Iceland or something.

[KC native]

it's been so long that if it happened now, i'd probably call the police and tell them I'm being attacked.

Does your wife not love you?

[Dayze]

Does your wife not love you?

I'm starting to wonder LMAO

[sedated]

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

kinda agree with this one. its only a few minutes before I'm saying "I wish this was in your vagina instead"

[Discuss Thrower]

Did you ruin it by being a morose weirdo?

If by that you mean not be the most exciting person to ever walk the face of the planet, sure.

That's the thing with Tinder et al as dude. You're competing against a ton of other dudes for attention, and if there's really nothing to differentiate yourself from the others then you're toast.

At the end of the day it was just nice to message someone for a bit.

[RockChalk]

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

This. Never really cared much about BJ's. Only was excited by them if sex wasn't an option.

I'll take sex over a BJ any day.

[Skyy God]

I've tapped out for the next two years with the now ended conversation with a Tinder chick.

Because Discuss Thrower

Hold on. You're abandoning talking to chicks for 2 years because a Tinder convo went bad??

[Mr. Flopnuts]

This guy gets it.

If your wife/gf/significant other isn't giving up the oral sex then you fucked up.

You want a ring on it? I do too! /points downward

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Seriously though, I assume sex and oral and all that is pretty much a non issue for guys under 40. We liberated those bitches. From thongs to twerking. Our hard work has paid off. If not, you really did fuck up.

[Eleazar]

This. Never really cared much about BJ's. Only was excited by them if sex wasn't an option.

I'll take sex over a BJ any day.

That's why there is a week every month called hummer week!

[Skyy God]

If by that you mean not be the most exciting person to ever walk the face of the planet, sure.

That's the thing with Tinder et al as dude. You're competing against a ton of other dudes for attention, and if there's really nothing to differentiate yourself from the others then you're toast.

At the end of the day it was just nice to message someone for a bit.

No offense, but you definitely need to implement the middle step of most post-breakup plans. If you're not an interesting person, make yourself an interesting person.

STEP 3: REBUILD AND IMPROVE. When you’re in a relationship, you rarely realize just how much time goes into hanging out with your significant other. After a break-up, you suddenly have all that time to yourself. Treat it like it a gift, and fill those hours with new activities and new people. Take a cooking or bartending class. Join a running club or a yoga studio or a CrossFit gym — something that improves your body and introduces you to new people. Volunteer at a hospital or an animal shelter or a tutoring center. Become a better, stronger, smarter person.

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2013/06/definitive-post-breakup-guide-ksk-mailbag.html#ixzz3MMkvXxEY

[KC native]

kinda agree with this one. its only a few minutes before I'm saying "I wish this was in your vagina instead"

A few minutes of head is better than no minutes of head.

[beach tribe]

Anytime I want. Learn how to barter.

I can get a BJ in the car, while watching football, whenever I want.

C'mon, baby. Let's make a deal.
Usually only costs me a 15 min message.

[KC native]

Seriously though, I assume sex and oral and all that is pretty much a non issue for guys under 40. We liberated those bitches. From thongs to twerking. Our hard work has paid off. If not, you really did fuck up.

LMAO

Yes, the increased ease of access to porn has helped tremendously.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Blow jobs are foreplay. I love my wife enough to not blow in her mouth...often...

[KC native]

No offense, but you definitely need to implement the middle step of most post-breakup plans. If you're not an interesting person, make yourself an interesting person.



http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2013/06/definitive-post-breakup-guide-ksk-mailbag.html#ixzz3MMkvXxEY

He is a lost cause.

[KC native]

Blow jobs are foreplay. I love my wife enough to not blow in her mouth...often...

Exactly this.

[beach tribe]

Often enough to make whatever guy I'm doing it to forget that I must have done it a bunch of other times too.

We'd get along.

[beach tribe]

Blow jobs are foreplay. I love my wife enough to not blow in her mouth...often...

She loves me enough not to mind.

[Sorter]

Anytime I want. Learn how to barter.

I can get a BJ in the car, while watching football, whenever I want.

C'mon, baby. Let's make a deal.
Usually only costs me a 15 min message.

Wait a minute.

You're telling me you send girls a Rico post and you can get insta-fellatio?

[beach tribe]

On a side note, the GF before this one never spilled or spit a drop.

You'd think that shit had Tussin' in it.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

She loves me enough not to mind.

Mine too, hence the "often" but I'd rather give her what we both really want is all. That's just what's best in my house.YMMV

[beach tribe]

Wait a minute.

You're telling me you send girls a Rico post and you can get insta-fellatio?

What can I say, the girl is a reader.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Wait a minute.

You're telling me you send girls a Rico post and you can get insta-fellatio?

ROFL ROFL ROFL

[KC native]

Wait a minute.

You're telling me you send girls a Rico post and you can get insta-fellatio?

LMAO

[Sorter]

On a side note, the GF before this one never spilled or spit a drop.

You'd think that shit had Tussin' in it.

LMAO

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

One minute of penis sucking before sex is not a blowjob.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

One minute of penis sucking before sex is not a blowjob.

1 minute of foreplay is the leading cause of divorce I'd guess.

[Discuss Thrower]

Hold on. You're abandoning talking to chicks for 2 years because a Tinder convo went bad??

Nah. I began that nine months ago. I kept up messaging the Tinder chick because she started it and was curious to see how far I could go before I'd stop getting replies.

[KC native]

One minute of penis sucking before sex is not a blowjob.

Neither is sticking it in your farm animals' mouths.

Yes, all aggie fans are animal fuckers.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Nah. I began that nine months ago. I kept up messaging the Tinder chick because she started it and was curious to see how far I could go before I'd stop getting replies.

Ladies and gentlemen, the new Keg in KC.

[beach tribe]

Mine too, hence the "often" but I'd rather give her what we both really want is all. That's just what's best in my house.YMMV

Her rationale is that when we get down to business, it's a whole production.

She's got to get hers first, and that takes a while. But she knows how to hit my release valve in about 3 min. With a 3 yr old in the house it's quicker and easier just to get me off when I need it, and then I always end up giving her hers during that rico post.
I'm really fucking loving the way things are now. She's pretty hot, so I can really need some relief at any given moment.
We have been together for 5 years, and went through a really dry period after the kid....it was not easy for me.
Now it's like twice a week or more. I can definitely live with that.

[Skyy God]

Nah. I began that nine months ago. I kept up messaging the Tinder chick because she started it and was curious to see how far I could go before I'd stop getting replies.

Fire up that Pip Boy and allocate more points to Charisma.

[Discuss Thrower]

Fire up that Pip Boy and allocate more points to Charisma.

How about points in employment beyond freelance writing at $50 a job and announcing for $10/hr for 10 hours a month?

[srvy]

Everyone knows the ring goes on the blowies stop.

Kids let this be a lesson for you. Avoid the ring as long as possible. Or stash Ho money.

[KC native]

Everyone knows the ring goes on the blowies stop.

Kids let this be a lesson for you. Avoid the ring as long as possible. Or stash Ho money.

Not true.

[Garcia Bronco]

Gents,

If your woman won't go down you might need to clean up the area. If that fails, shame her into it.

"Really? Wow. Every girl I've ever been with does this."

[ThaVirus]

Nah. I began that nine months ago. I kept up messaging the Tinder chick because she started it and was curious to see how far I could go before I'd stop getting replies.

Post the convo here.

[Dayze]

Gents,

If your woman won't go down you might need to clean up the area. If that fails, shame her into it.

"Really? Wow. Every girl I've ever been with does this."

LMAO

"honey...15 pieces of flare is the minimum. You do want to do more than the minimum, don't you"?

[Skyy God]

How about points in employment beyond freelance writing at $50 a job and announcing for $10/hr for 10 hours a month?

That too.

[SAUTO]

Blow jobs are foreplay. I love my wife enough to not blow in her mouth...often...

me too. or at least without a heads up

[Graystoke]

Everyone knows the ring goes on the blowies stop.

Kids let this be a lesson for you. Avoid the ring as long as possible. Or stash Ho money.

I don't think this is Universal Truth.
I am in the camp that Oral is part of a healthy sexual relationship.
That being said, I am healthy

[Baby Lee]

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

kinda agree with this one. its only a few minutes before I'm saying "I wish this was in your vagina instead"

This I don't get.

A ladygarden is a lush patch of land, but a mouth, a mouth has . . . dexterity.

Vagslappin' is like a good roller coaster, throw your hands in the air and ride like your hair's on fire.

But a BJ with a modicum of expertise. Often is the time I black out, and wake up later like I'd hibernated all winter with a sammich and beer on the night table. Bitch could've robbed me blind in the mean time.

BJ's turn me into a fainting goat.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/xsAgNl1p974" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Baby Lee]

LMAO

"honey...15 pieces of flare is the minimum. You do want to do more than the minimum, don't you"?

You know who else gave blow jobs? The Nazis, that's who.

[Dayze]

LMAO

[Katipan]

If you guys sucked a little more dick you'd know that you all like it differently.

[Dayze]

If you guys sucked a little more dick you'd know that you all like it differently.

I'm not falling for this again.

[Katipan]

I'm not falling for this again.

ROFL

[TimBone]

I created a poll about this with my original account. In that thread we learned that Guru does not like blow jobs and he doesn't understand why anybody would make their wife do that.

[Baby Lee]

I'm not falling for this again.

ROFL - from now on your avatar will be moaning 'I picked the wrong week to stop sucking cock.'

[Mr. Laz]

oral sex is overrated imo


never really ask for it or whatever, it rarely occurs

[Donger]

Whenever I can pin her down.

[Bufkin]

Anytime I want. Learn how to barter.

I can get a BJ in the car, while watching football, whenever I want.

C'mon, baby. Let's make a deal.
Usually only costs me a 15 min message.
That's so cool that you're willing to give your husband a blowjob in exchange for a harmless massage. You're a righteous dude.

[JD10367]

I try not to give it to guys that often.

Wait... that wasn't in the poll? nm

[Easy 6]

Often enough to make whatever guy I'm doing it to forget that I must have done it a bunch of other times too.

check your pm's...

[ThaVirus]

check your pm's...

LMAO

[Demonpenz]

never get married problem solved.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I try not to give it to guys that often.

Wait... that wasn't in the poll? nm


Check your PM's.

[MTG#10]

I could get it more often than I do but my girlfriend is so terrible at it I usually stop her about 5 minutes in anyway.

:(

[Discuss Thrower]

Post the convo here.

A lot of small talk.

[gblowfish]

Real gentlemen don't talk about this kind of thing.









Right Clay?

[KC native]

I could get it more often than I do but my girlfriend is so terrible at it I usually stop her about 5 minutes in anyway.

:(

Use porn to teach her.

My wife used to be terrible at it too.

[KC native]

A lot of small talk.

CP is a lot of small talk.

[Discuss Thrower]

CP is a lot of small talk.

I won't say 75% of the shit I say here in real life.

[ThaVirus]

A lot of small talk.

CP is a lot of small talk.

Truth.

Post it, Eeyore.

[KC native]

I won't say 75% of the shit I say here in real life.

You should. It would make you a more interesting person.

[Just Passin' By]

I could get it more often than I do but my girlfriend is so terrible at it I usually stop her about 5 minutes in anyway.

:(

Have her consult with Katipan and JD10367 for guidance.

[Dayze]

I could get it more often than I do but my girlfriend is so terrible at it I usually stop her about 5 minutes in anyway.

:(

unfortunately, the same applies in my situation. LMAO

[KC native]

unfortunately, the same applies in my situation. LMAO
.
Use porn to teach her.

My wife used to be terrible at it too.

Clarification: She was terrible at it when we were dating. So that would have been sophomore year in college.

[Discuss Thrower]

You should. It would make you a more interesting person.

Right. Because I'm sure I enthrall this fora with tales of how much of a mancrush I have on Christopher Nolan and how exciting the life of a high school sports announcer is.

:rolleyes:

[Dayze]

I wish.
I can pretty much guarantee that won't happen. pron is the devil / 'disgusting' LMAO


I'm defeated. i fought the good fight for years. Just don't care anymore lol.
too fucking tired 1/2 the time anyway. so I've got that going for me.

[ottawa_chiefs_fan]

You need to add a Y-axis - "Years married"

[Just Passin' By]

Right. Because I'm sure I enthrall this fora with tales of how much of a mancrush I have on Christopher Nolan and how exciting the life of a high school sports announcer is.

:rolleyes:


Add more things to your portfolio. It's not tough to do, even if you're low on funds. Libraries are free, museums are usually reasonably prices, etc...

[Katipan]

Have her consult with Katipan and JD10367 for guidance.

I got so far as to have the conversation about what options would be available if the other person couldn't have sex anymore. For whatever reason.

I am very thorough.

[Mr. Plow]

Or in katipan's/luv's/billay's case, how often do you give them?

LMAO

[KC native]

Right. Because I'm sure I enthrall this fora with tales of how much of a mancrush I have on Christopher Nolan and how exciting the life of a high school sports announcer is.

:rolleyes:

defeatist attitude is defeatist.

Be proud of your geekdom. Some chicks think that is attractive. Women have repeatedly told me my passion about geeky stuff is attractive (finance, F1 racing, etc).

[KC native]

I wish.
I can pretty much guarantee that won't happen. pron is the devil / 'disgusting' LMAO


I'm defeated. i fought the good fight for years. Just don't care anymore lol.
too fucking tired 1/2 the time anyway. so I've got that going for me.

LMAO

You sound like Discuss now.

[Sully]

I wish.
I can pretty much guarantee that won't happen. pron is the devil / 'disgusting' LMAO


I'm defeated. i fought the good fight for years. Just don't care anymore lol.
too fucking tired 1/2 the time anyway. so I've got that going for me.
Dude...

ROFL

[Dayze]

girls like confidence. you don't have to be confident in some crazy-awesome abilities like being a fighter pilot. whatever you do/enjoy and are confident about, go with that.

:shrug:

whatever 'it' is you have, be confident with it and run with it.

[Baby Lee]

unfortunately, the same applies in my situation. LMAO

Well do MTG#10 a solid and give her some pointers.

[Katipan]

Well no. If you're not excited about being a high school sports announcer, then no, I don't want to hear about it.

But if you love it. If you love the kids, the atmosphere, the booth. If it's the tradition, or the smells, or the sounds that keep drawing you back. If it mattered to you in any way, I would.

[Imon Yourside]

I'm starting to wonder LMAO

Try the..well your sister and her friend like it option...hmmmmmmmmmm

and just leave it there..it works.....however once is starts happening on a regular basis u will probably want it from the sis and other hotties. lolz

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Well no. If you're not excited about being a high school sports announcer, then no, I don't want to hear about it.

But if you love it. If you love the kids, the atmosphere, the booth. If it's the tradition, or the smells, or the sounds that keep drawing you back. If it mattered to you in any way, I would.

If that doesn't wake him up nothing will. I'm about to change his name to Discuss in KC.

Edit: not really, for those who throw fits over that sort of thing.

[Dayze]

I should probably also make sure my wife knows that Two Girls 1 Cup is not the Shawshank Redemption or Godfather of pron.

[Sorter]

Right. Because I'm sure I enthrall this fora with tales of how much of a mancrush I have on Christopher Nolan and how exciting the life of a high school sports announcer is.

:rolleyes:

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/57310298.jpg

[Graystoke]

I wish.
I can pretty much guarantee that won't happen. pron is the devil / 'disgusting' LMAO


I'm defeated. i fought the good fight for years. Just don't care anymore lol.
too ****ing tired 1/2 the time anyway. so I've got that going for me.

Haha! Dude.
My Wife thinks Pron is stupid. In fact, at 48 years of age she has "Claimed" to never even seen pron. The way she screws I call BS.

On a side note Dayze. Have you ever just tried walking around naked doing the PeniCopter move. Woman can't resist the Penicopter. Tip...add sound effects

[Skyy God]

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/57310298.jpg

You fox-eared asshole.

[ARROW2]

This guy gets it.

If your wife/gf/significant other isn't giving up the oral sex then you ****ed up.




This is true.

[Rain Man]

Well no. If you're not excited about being a high school sports announcer, then no, I don't want to hear about it.

But if you love it. If you love the kids, the atmosphere, the booth. If it's the tradition, or the smells, or the sounds that keep drawing you back. If it mattered to you in any way, I would.

I would imagine that it smells a lot like teen spirit.

[Katipan]

My kids sing a song that references Kurt Cobain and have no idea who Nirvana is. :(

[Dayze]

Haha! Dude.
My Wife thinks Pron is stupid. In fact, at 48 years of age she has "Claimed" to never even seen pron. The way she screws I call BS.

On a side note Dayze. Have you ever just tried walking around naked doing the PeniCopter move. Woman can't resist the Penicopter. Tip...add sound effects

:hmmm:

this is a pro-tip.

[hometeam]

Bad choices.

I get it every night she is on her period, plus randomly at other times~

[Katipan]

omg I was (and am) so delighted with my current's body that I used to stare at him hungrily all the time. He'd get flattered and wave his thing at me.

It got really silly years ago but I don't want to hurt his feelings so I still giggle and smile. And roll my eyes as soon as it's safe.

[Graystoke]

omg I was (and am) so delighted with my current's body that I used to stare at him hungrily all the time. He'd get flattered and wave his thing at me.

It got really silly years ago but I don't want to hurt his feelings so I still giggle and smile. And roll my eyes as soon as it's safe.

So your saying you like the Penicopter move...right?

[Katipan]

So your saying you like the Penicopter move...right?

yes baby you are so hot

[Graystoke]

yes baby you are so hot

Dayze...take note

[Easy 6]

Right. Because I'm sure I enthrall this fora with tales of how much of a mancrush I have on Christopher Nolan and how exciting the life of a high school sports announcer is.

:rolleyes:

Maaan what? you shouldnt feel that way about either of those things, especially calling games... thats a cool and fun gig I'm sure, you're a sports fan and work in that field, whats not to love?

Dont go all xztop on us, your jawline is fine... buck up brah, the chicks will only be as excited about what you do as you are.

[Donger]

I am getting blown tomorrow though. She put it on her shared calendar.

LMAO

[Discuss Thrower]

You fox-eared asshole.

BABOU! HE REMEMBERS ME

[Discuss Thrower]

It got really silly years ago but I don't want to hurt his feelings so I still giggle and smile. And roll my eyes as soon as it's safe.

Don't eyeroll the conditioned response *you* created there, Ms. Skinner.

[sedated]

Bad choices.

I get it every night she is on her period, plus randomly at other times~

put a towel down and do your business.

[Titty Meat]

Why is KC Nitwit asking other men about bjs tho

[Donger]

Why is KC Nitwit asking other men about bjs tho

Maybe his wife could suck start a leaf blower, and wants to compare notes?

[Katipan]

Don't eyeroll the conditioned response *you* created there, Ms. Skinner.

Why? It's not like you've seen me complain about this for years. I'm not complaining about it now. One smile and a giggle and the man is a strutting peacock. If that isn't worthy of an eye roll, nothing is.

[dls6501]

Pole =/= Poll

[KC native]

Why is KC Nitwit asking other men about bjs tho

Because I saw someone complaining about never getting head in one of the threads I was reading earlier and it sparked my curiosity as to how shitty some of the CP posters' sex lives are.

[KC native]

Pole =/= Poll

That was intentional.

[Donger]

So I've seen many of you guys bitch about not getting blow jobs frequently.

How often do you get them? Or in katipan's/luv's/billay's case, how often do you give them?

Oral is part of foreplay for my wife and I so I get head just about every time before we ****. U jelly?

I am curious, however. How often does she finish?

[RaiderH8r]

I only make her give me the last half because I'm a fuckin' gentleman.

[Easy 6]

I only make her give me the last half because I'm a ****in' gentleman.

LMAO thats the only half that matters.

[ModSocks]

If i went down on my wife everyday, i'd get a BJ everyday.

She really enjoys giving while receiving.

[booger]

I've got the current one to close her good eye while in the act. She has a lazy eye and when you factor in my crank has a slight bend to it... Poor gal thought I was wiggling and teasing her before. Now it fits like a glove. 69 took some getting used to and her dislexia don't help. But we practice lots and I'm pretty sure the disfigurmemt of her ears from guiding her is not permanent

[Easy 6]

If i went down on my wife everyday, i'd get a BJ everyday.

She really enjoys giving while receiving.

Yup, I've always found that being willing to give greatly enhances ones chances of being able to receive... and fortunately for me, I'm like a buck in rut when it comes to that, few things turn me on more than getting down on some clean musk.

I get that scent in my nostrils and hoooweee!

[loochy]

I've got the current one to close her good eye while in the act. She has a lazy eye and when you factor in my crank has a slight bend to it... Poor gal thought I was wiggling and teasing her before. Now it fits like a glove. 69 took some getting used to and her dislexia don't help. But we practice lots and I'm pretty sure the disfigurmemt of her ears from guiding her is not permanent

Wut

[BigMeatballDave]

fortunately for me, I'm like a buck in rut when it comes to that, few things turn me on more than getting down on some clean musk.

I get that scent in my nostrils and hoooweee!
LOL Fucking this!

[Sorter]

I've got the current one to close her good eye while in the act. She has a lazy eye and when you factor in my crank has a slight bend to it... Poor gal thought I was wiggling and teasing her before. Now it fits like a glove. 69 took some getting used to and her dislexia don't help. But we practice lots and I'm pretty sure the disfigurmemt of her ears from guiding her is not permanent

LMAOLMAOLMAO

[booger]

Wut

I'm getting her an eye patch for Christmas

[booger]

LMAOLMAOLMAO

If she understood golf and the difference between a hook and a slice this would've been much easier!

[TLO]

Dayze has some rotten cock going on is what I'm thinking.

[booger]

Yup, I've always found that being willing to give greatly enhances ones chances of being able to receive... and fortunately for me, I'm like a buck in rut when it comes to that, few things turn me on more than getting down on some clean musk.

I get that scent in my nostrils and hoooweee!

Yep! Stuff is like catnip

[El Jefe]

Does your wife not love you?

No doubt, I don't understand that. One of my buddies has a long time girlfriend of 5 years, he swears that he has only got a bj one time and it wasn't to completion, he said his gf says its too gross. Every time my wife and I have sex that's how we start. I eat a lot of box and she returns the favor every time we have sex. I thought everybody used oral as a warm up/foreplay prior to saxxing it up.

[El Jefe]

I am curious, however. How often does she finish?

I will field this question out of my relationship with my wife, just to keep the topic going. My wife will give me oral and I will give her oral to orgasm at least 1-2 times a week, the other 1-2 times is sex. When you have a woman who knows how to give a good blow job, it can be almost as good as sex, almost.

[El Jefe]

I am getting blown tomorrow though. She put it on her shared calendar.

LMAO


That is funny but true, during really busy times, or when our work schedules don't match well, we will go a good 3-4 days and it feels like a year. Kind of like having sex without condoms and then having to have sex with condoms. You don't realize how great it is until you have to go from no condom to sing a condom. Frequency is the same when you only have sex 1-2 times a week you get used to it, so if you have a week where you do 3-4 times its just awesome, but when you have sex 3-4 times a week normally and then go a week where you only have it once it is just plain terrible.

[El Jefe]

I've got the current one to close her good eye while in the act. She has a lazy eye and when you factor in my crank has a slight bend to it... Poor gal thought I was wiggling and teasing her before. Now it fits like a glove. 69 took some getting used to and her dislexia don't help. But we practice lots and I'm pretty sure the disfigurmemt of her ears from guiding her is not permanent

Yeah I feel that........wait wut?

[Dayze]

Dayze has some rotten cock going on is what I'm thinking.

it probably smells like motorcycles and freedom down there.


so I'm not really sure what the problem is. Probably going to spritz a little Stetson or Aqua Velva down there to sweeten the deal.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I am getting blown tomorrow though. She put it on her shared calendar.

LMAO

ROFL

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Why? It's not like you've seen me complain about this for years. I'm not complaining about it now. One smile and a giggle and the man is a strutting peacock. If that isn't worthy of an eye roll, nothing is.

I actually think it's sweet that you go out of your way to keep his dignity, and self confidence in tact.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I am curious, however. How often does she finish?

Whenever I want her too. No pressure either, which probably helps my cause. I genuinely prefer finishing inside of her versus in her mouth. Every once in awhile though...

You weren't asking me, but I'm rarely open enough to discuss this shit, so I figured I'd finish the story.

[booger]

Yeah I feel that........wait wut?

Wendy already had the lazy eye when she became a vet tech. Then she got kicked in the head by a mule. Sometimes she can't see straight

[Katipan]

It is so bizarre that anyone would think that everyone would do anything the same.

No thanks on the 2-3 times a week of box eating. We're on limited time around here and there are 1000 better things we could be doing.

[Katipan]

I actually think it's sweet that you go out of your way to keep his dignity, and self confidence in tact.

Thank you. Such an easy gift and he smiles for hours. But sometimes I want to try and ring toss it with whatever I have handy.

[Donger]

Whenever I want her too. No pressure either, which probably helps my cause. I genuinely prefer finishing inside of her versus in her mouth. Every once in awhile though...

You weren't asking me, but I'm rarely open enough to discuss this shit, so I figured I'd finish the story.

Interesting. I get to finish in her mouth on rare occasions (hopefully tomorrow). But, I'm like a fire hose, so I can't really blame her. I wouldn't want me to come in my mouth, either.

[Dayze]

Interesting. I get to finish in her mouth on rare occasions (hopefully tomorrow). But, I'm like a fire hose, so I can't really blame her. I wouldn't want me to come in my mouth, either.

LMAO

[Mr. Flopnuts]

It is so bizarre that anyone would think that everyone would do anything the same.

No thanks on the 2-3 times a week of box eating. We're on limited time around here and there are 1000 better things we could be doing.

I receive far more often than I give, but I make up for it in many other ways. She loves it, and I try to keep it special by limiting how much I do it. Don't get me wrong, I never say no, but she usually leaves it too me to do that because I'm a fucking Savage down there and she doesn't want that to ever change. It's genuinely a major part of keeping our 12 year relationship fresh, and letting her know she's adored.


Thank you. Such an easy gift and he smiles for hours. But sometimes I want to try and ring toss it with whatever I have handy.

ROFL

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Interesting. I get to finish in her mouth on rare occasions (hopefully tomorrow). But, I'm like a fire hose, so I can't really blame her. I wouldn't want me to come in my mouth, either.

I wish you luck. If I know I can fill up a gallon container I absolutely won't do it to her. Why would I want to ruin a good thing?

[Katipan]

I think it's sweet. I think it's stimulating. I think it's wonderful that the more dick we suck the more box you men are willing to eat. I'm just saying, personally...

It cracks me up.

Have your wives take pictures of what you people look like when you're doing it. You'll crack up too.

[Dayze]

I receive far more often than I give, but I make up for it in many other ways. She loves it, and I try to keep it special by limiting how much I do it. Don't get me wrong, I never say no, but she usually leaves it too me to do that because I'm a ****ing Savage down there and she doesn't want that to ever change. It's genuinely a major part of keeping our 12 year relationship fresh, and letting her know she's adored.




ROFL

http://images.ftw.usatoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/vandam.gif

[Donger]

I wish you luck. If I know I can fill up a gallon container I absolutely won't do it to her. Why would I want to ruin a good thing?

Thanks.

[Donger]

I think it's sweet. I think it's stimulating. I think it's wonderful that the more dick we suck the more box you men are willing to eat. I'm just saying, personally...

It cracks me up.

Have your wives take pictures of what you people look like when you're doing it. You'll crack up too.

I've never really been into cunnilingus. Thankfully, the wife isn't either. Unless it happens literally within a few minutes of her showering, it doesn't happen.

[ChiTown]

I've never really been into cunnilingus. Thankfully, the wife isn't either. Unless it happens literally within a few minutes of her showering, it doesn't happen.

She's just being nice. Get down there and starting eating, and leave the bib on the table

[Mr. Flopnuts]

http://images.ftw.usatoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/vandam.gif

ROFL

[booger]

When your young and you put your arm up to your mouth to make fart noises... Try that on a smooth giner. Fun times

[ChiTown]

When your young and you put your arm up to your mouth to make fart noises... Try that on a smooth giner. Fun times

LMAO

[Mr. Flopnuts]

She's just being nice. Get down there and starting eating, and leave the bib on the table

This. I'm not playing the e-manliness card when I say this, but she'd like it better if you tried harder to please her. Unless she has a mental hang up with her own box, which is not uncommon I guess.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

When your young and you put your arm up to your mouth to make fart noises... Try that on a smooth giner. Fun times

LMAO

[Dayze]

I'd just like to point out how much I love the term 'box'
LMAO

[Pablo]

Donger, do you slip your dick through your pajama bottoms(White Dave Chappelle skit style) when you and the wife get that hot and heavy missionary action going?

[booger]

LMAO

Best to get to know her a little first. Tried that one a first date years ago and wound up with her heel print on my forehead

[Just Passin' By]

I'd just like to point out how much I love the term 'box'
LMAO

Mama's got a squeeze box....

[El Jefe]

It is so bizarre that anyone would think that everyone would do anything the same.

No thanks on the 2-3 times a week of box eating. We're on limited time around here and there are 1000 better things we could be doing.

I don't know a much better way to do foreplay than to make out---Oral---Sex. All can be done within 30 minutes depending on weather conditions ;)

On your last note, one statement sums up my thoughts about eating box "happy wife, happy life".

[Katipan]

I'd just like to point out how much I love the term 'box'
LMAO

My girl can't wrestle but you should see her box.

[Dayze]

LMAO

[Katipan]

I don't know a much better way to do foreplay than to make out---Oral---Sex. All can be done within 30 minutes depending on weather conditions ;)

On your last note, one statement sums up my thoughts about eating box "happy wife, happy life".

Ok but that's your problem. Not everyone elses.

It's like saying I should only like vanilla ice cream.
There's chocolate.
Or vanilla with sprinkles.

Or a goddamn apple.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

ROFL is my favorite word for it

[Donger]

This. I'm not playing the e-manliness card when I say this, but she'd like it better if you tried harder to please her. Unless she has a mental hang up with her own box, which is not uncommon I guess.

She does, yes. It probably didn't help that years ago (pre-marriage) we discussed it and I piped up and said, "What!? There's nothing wrong with your vagina. I've eaten some nasty cooter in my days, and your's is actually really nice!"

[Katipan]

I tried humming once but it's not so sexy when it's the star spangled banner you're humming.

[Donger]

Donger, do you slip your dick through your pajama bottoms(White Dave Chappelle skit style) when you and the wife get that hot and heavy missionary action going?

I don't wear pajamas.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

She does, yes. It probably didn't help that years ago (pre-marriage) we discussed it and I piped up and said, "What!? There's nothing wrong with your vagina. I've eaten some nasty cooter in my days, and your's is actually really nice!"

ROFL that is fucking hilarious!

[booger]

LMAO

Worst part is finding one who gets off on it. It's fun and hilarious but I damn near passed out running out of breath numerous times!

[Dayze]

I bet Donger refers to his wang as "The Oil Rig"

[Katipan]

Worst part is finding one who gets off on it. It's fun and hilarious but I damn near passed out running out of breath numerous times!

I wish we were doing secret santa.

http://www.amazon.com/Glow-N-Dark-Pussy-Snorkel/dp/B001D26Q16

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tGpFZNcXL.jpg

[booger]

I tried humming once but it's not so sexy when it's the star spangled banner you're humming.

You can do it put your ass into it... Or is it back into it how the song goes?

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I wish we were doing secret santa.

http://www.amazon.com/Glow-N-Dark-Pussy-Snorkel/dp/B001D26Q16

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tGpFZNcXL.jpg

Oh wow. LMAO I'm...I'm...I'm totally getting one of those!

[ChiTown]

She does, yes. It probably didn't help that years ago (pre-marriage) we discussed it and I piped up and said, "What!? There's nothing wrong with your vagina. I've eaten some nasty cooter in my days, and your's is actually really nice!"

cooter? really?

You might want to change up your vernacular about your wife's pussy around your wife. Maybe try.........Meat Wallet?

[Donger]

cooter? really?

You might want to change up your vernacular about your wife's pussy around your wife. Maybe try.........Meat Wallet?

That's actually her name for her vagina.

[Kman34]

The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever......


Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!

[booger]

I wish we were doing secret santa.

http://www.amazon.com/Glow-N-Dark-Pussy-Snorkel/dp/B001D26Q16

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tGpFZNcXL.jpg

:LOL: bookmarked :thumb:

[ChiTown]

That's actually her name for her vagina.

Seriously? That's awesome......:LOL:

[Easy 6]

it probably smells like motorcycles and freedom down there.

ROFL

[Fire Me Boy!]

That's actually her name for her vagina.


Why? Does it look like Ben Jones?

[ChiTown]

it probably smells like motorcycles and freedom down there.


so I'm not really sure what the problem is. Probably going to spritz a little Stetson or Aqua Velva down there to sweeten the deal.

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

[Dayze]

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

LMAO

[Pablo]

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

[Kman34]

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..

[booger]

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

:LOL: Jew Bush

[Dayze]

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..

LMAO

[Kman34]

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

[Easy 6]

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

No sympathy AT ALL lol, you dont deserve head with your antics.

Any girl I ever dated would find herself without the services of my tongue if she thrilled to the smell and sound of the farts she ripped in front of me.

[booger]

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham

[ChiTown]

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really taught me how to properly glaze a ham

LMAO

[Dayze]

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham

I really don't even know what this means LMAO

[eDave]

It's always LSF for me when engaging in coitus.

[ChiTown]

I really don't even know what this means LMAO

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Glaze+the+ham

[Donger]

Why?

I've never asked, so I don't know.

Does it look like Ben Jones?

I don't know who that is or what he looks like, so I don't know.

[booger]

I really don't even know what this means LMAO

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Glaze+the+ham

:thumb:

Good looking out Chi

[BigRedChief]

This thread is evolving into potential Hall of Classics material.

smells like motorcycles and freedom down there ROFL

[eDave]

The T-Rex:

When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises.

"Dude.. what was all that noise.."
"Oo.. I t rexed that bitch"
"Sahweet"

Pairs well with a donkey punch.

[Katipan]

The T-Rex:

When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises.

"Dude.. what was all that noise.."
"Oo.. I t rexed that bitch"
"Sahweet"

Pairs well with a donkey punch.

I would think a large percentage of women would just put her hands on your hands.

The amputee or stubby.



Bonus points for everyone that just touched their shoulders and looked at their elbows.

[booger]

You Put the bald man in
You pull the bald man out
And you shake it all around
That's what it's all about

[Rain Man]

I tried humming once but it's not so sexy when it's the star spangled banner you're humming.

I don't know about that. Those high notes at the rockets' red glare are pretty likely to lead to bombs bursting in air.

[Katipan]

I don't know about that. Those high notes at the rockets' red glare are pretty likely to lead to bombs bursting in air.

I hum like Barry White.

[booger]

I try sweet home Alabama but it always sounds more like La Bamba

[mdchiefsfan]

Couple times every three weeks.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I've never asked, so I don't know.



I don't know who that is or what he looks like, so I don't know.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eqJBl7RpTjE/TzlTx_EfbDI/AAAAAAAAZMg/FIlRXfp1iEY/s400/cooter.jpeg

[Donger]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eqJBl7RpTjE/TzlTx_EfbDI/AAAAAAAAZMg/FIlRXfp1iEY/s400/cooter.jpeg

LMAO

Wow. Is that Dukes of Hazzard? If so, I'm going to have some fun tonight when she and the kids get home.

[Donger]

Okay, well at least she's not alone (I guess):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooter

[Fire Me Boy!]

LMAO

Wow. Is that Dukes of Hazzard? If so, I'm going to have some fun tonight when she and the kids get home.

Yes.

:D

[Donger]

His nickname was "Crazy Cooter"?

LMAO

Mischief commences... And she won't get too mad, because it's my birthday tomorrow and she takes those seriously.

[Katipan]

His nickname was "Crazy Cooter"?

LMAO

Mischief commences... And she won't get too mad, because it's my birthday tomorrow and she takes those seriously.

We are 3 days apart.

That explains so much.

[eDave]

All instances of coitus MUST include oral, both ways. No question. It's simply barbaric otherwise.

[Katipan]

All instances of coitus MUST include oral, both ways. No question. It's simply barbaric otherwise.

When I can hang from a shower curtain rod by my ankle instead?

No thanks.

[Donger]

We are 3 days apart.

That explains so much.

Wife's is the 18th. We should have a threesome next year.

[Donger]

All instances of coitus MUST include oral, both ways. No question. It's simply barbaric otherwise.

Do you have kids?

[Katipan]

Wife's is the 18th. We should have a threesome next year.

My step dad's is the 16th, can't we just trade?

Your wife is hot but Cooter was never my favorite character.

[eDave]

When I can hang from a shower curtain rod by my ankle instead?

No thanks.

Patience my dear.

[Donger]

My step dad's is the 16th, can't we just trade?

Your wife is hot but Cooter was never my favorite character.

LMAO

Happy belated birthday, by the way. I hope you had a good one.

[booger]

When I can hang from a shower curtain rod by my ankle instead?

No thanks.

Image from http://www.dogstiltingtheirheads.com/sites/dogstiltingtheirheads.com/files/imagecache/normal/upload/u0/tilt/dsc_3257.jpg.

[RaiderH8r]

All instances of coitus MUST include oral, both ways. No question. It's simply barbaric otherwise.

Damn right. We're not animals. We live in a society.

[brucey_72]

I have been with my wife for 3 years and have never received a completed blow job from her, she has given me head for a minute or so on a few special occasions

[TLO]

I have been with my wife for 3 years and have never received a completed blow job from her, she has given me head for a minute or so on a few special occasions

And how often do you munch her box?

[Easy 6]

His nickname was "Crazy Cooter"?

LMAO

Mischief commences... And she won't get too mad, because it's my birthday tomorrow and she takes those seriously.

Just tell her you only like two things with your beer, doughnuts and pussy... and you're fresh outta doughnuts.

[eDave]

And how often do you munch her box?


THANK you. Eloquently put by the way. Gotta give to receive I say. It's just polite.

[keg in kc]

What is this "sex" thing I keep hearing about?

[brucey_72]

And how often do you munch her box?

Whenever she asks, one of my favorite things about sex. I love giving more than receiving but damn I really want to receive sometimes

[eDave]

Whenever she asks, one of my favorite things about sex. I love giving more than receiving but damn I really want to receive sometimes

Yea.... That sucks (no pun intended). Maybe you suck at it.

Learn the Greek alphabet.

Also, 69. Leaves her with no choice in the matter.

[brucey_72]

Yea.... That sucks (no pun intended). Maybe you suck at it.

Learn the Greek alphabet.

Also, 69. Leaves her with no choice in the matter.

Nah, I think I am pretty good, she asks for it all the time. She just refused to give head. I know the reason why and totally understand the reason. So I don't push it

[Easy 6]

I know the reason why and totally understand the reason. So I don't push it

Did she have a bad experience in her younger days, too many guys too much?

I was with a girl for 6 months like that, she'd do ANY damn thing but swallow because of an ugly incident in her past... I guess thats what happens to girls from an "escort service" without the muscle a pimp is supposed to provide.

But yeah, you're anonymous brucey 72 on the web... what was her deal, why wouldnt she go down?

[lewdog]

Nah, I think I am pretty good, she asks for it all the time. She just refused to give head. I know the reason why and totally understand the reason. So I don't push it

While most of us on CP are only working with a 10-12 incher, you've got that monster 16" working. I see why she doesn't want to as well.

[keg in kc]

No matter how much she begs, he's not willing to get rid of his big bushy pube-fro.

[go bo]

If that doesn't wake him up nothing will. I'm about to change his name to Discuss in KC.

Edit: not really, for those who throw fits over that sort of thing.

fuck 'em...

[eDave]

Did she have a bad experience in her younger days, too many guys too much?

I was with a girl for 6 months like that, she'd do ANY damn thing but swallow because of an ugly incident in her past... I guess thats what happens to girls from an "escort service" without the muscle a pimp is supposed to provide.

But yeah, you're anonymous brucey 72 on the web... what was her deal, why wouldnt she go down?

True story: First time my ex swallowed. She directed the action, I obliged. A bit later we were getting some food and she talked with food in her mouth. I jokingly said "don't talk with your mouth full". Well, she went off thinking I was referencing the earlier swallow. Try as I might, I couldn't convince her it was just a silly joke and in no way was I referencing the swallow. I bailed out and went to take a shower.

Moment later, she kicked in my glass shower door wielding a 12 inch knife at me, seeting, with eyes that could kill you alone and threatening to kill me. I bolted out, grabbed the knife hand, slammed it against the wall, dislodging the knife. I eventually made it to my phone and dialed 911. I hope she is doing well.

[lewdog]

True story: First time my ex swallowed. She directed the action, I obliged. A bit later we were getting some food and she talked with food in her mouth. I jokingly said "don't talk with your mouth full". Well, she went off thinking I was referencing the earlier swallow. Try as I might, I couldn't convince her it was just a silly joke and in no way was I referencing the swallow. I bailed out and went to take a shower.

Moment later, she kicked in my glass shower door wielding a 12 inch knife at me and threatening to kill me. I bolted out, grabbed the knife hand, slammed it against the wall, dislodging the knife. I eventually made it to my phone and dialed 911. I hope she is doing well.

That's Jodi Arias crazy!!! No drugs or therapy can fix that.

Glad you're ok.

[keg in kc]

If that doesn't wake him up nothing will. I'm about to change his name to Discuss in KC.If that's some kind of a shot at me then kindly go fuck yourself.

[Dayze]

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

I just found a retro commercial for Hai Karate. LMAO


Dude....well played.

[Buzz]

:popcorn:

[Easy 6]

True story: First time my ex swallowed. She directed the action, I obliged. A bit later we were getting some food and she talked with food in her mouth. I jokingly said "don't talk with your mouth full". Well, she went off thinking I was referencing the earlier swallow. Try as I might, I couldn't convince her it was just a silly joke and in no way was I referencing the swallow. I bailed out and went to take a shower.

Moment later, she kicked in my glass shower door wielding a 12 inch knife at me, seeting, with eyes that could kill you alone and threatening to kill me. I bolted out, grabbed the knife hand, slammed it against the wall, dislodging the knife. I eventually made it to my phone and dialed 911. I hope she is doing well.

Whoa bro, what should've been a harmless inside joke escalated to attempted murder? Uh yeah, its time to RUN FOR DA CHOPPA at that point... even the girl I was with wasnt that crazy, she actually enjoyed weird jokes about her past to a point.

But that one final act was strictly verboten.

[Kman34]

After 28 years of marriage my wife was kind of meh about BJs. We kind got in a rut because of raising the girls and working so much it was hurry up and do it and let's go to sleep...
I decided to do some manscaping one day and holy shit she was fascinated by it and couldn't leave it alone.... it also looked huge with its new hair cut..LMAO

[Easy 6]

After 28 years of marriage my wife was kind of meh about BJs. We kind got in a rut because of raising the girls and working so much it was hurry up and do it and let's go to sleep...
I decided to do some manscaping one day and holy shit she was fascinated by it and couldn't leave it alone.... it also looked huge with its new hair cut..LMAO

For a truly happy marriage, I'd honestly give up the BJ's any day of the week...

Making love to the same woman you have a long history with, the girl that gets all your jokes and knows yet puts up with your weaknesses, when you climb on her as easily as climbing the nearest "king of the mountain" hill, when every move is already known, when every groan and giggle is expected, theres reeeally something to be said for that... its special man.

Strange is great yeah sure, but having that one special girl is sooo much better... take it from me, your old Uncle Scotty... its true.

[Titty Meat]

I guess I got a blowjob last week and told the gal she needs to work on her skills. Shes offering to blow me again.

[eDave]

Sigh. I could use a blowjob.

[Titty Meat]

Sigh. I could use a blowjob.

Come over.

[eDave]

Come over.

I've only got $3.50.

[Buzz]

I've only got $3.50.

Hold out and get it for free.

[Easy 6]

Hold out and get it for free.

ROFL

[Pepe Silvia]

No I'm not jelly, not even close.