Like an episode of Entourage - What's your worst chewing out, ever?

[DaneMcCloud]

About 20 minutes ago, I got a buzz at my gate. A 20 year old kid from Syracuse University is interning for an Oscar winning producer that lives across the street (and can be sometimes be a bit of a tyrant).

The kid was was so frazzled that he could barely even speak coherently. Apparently, he was unloading groceries for the producer's return home and while getting another load, the door slammed shut. His cell phone, cold and frozen food, along with the home keys were shut inside because the doors automatically locked when they shut.

He frantically called around to other low level employees, in a complete an utter tizzy. Then, he asked for ADT's number, because his laptop didn't have an internet connection. I felt so bad for him that I invited him up and when he couldn't even explain his conundrum to the ADT people, I spoke to them on his behalf.

Unfortunately, ADT couldn't help. So, I emailed the producer personally, before the intern (and his staff). He was a really sweet kid and he's going to land on his feet because his next internship is at the Gersh Company starting in May, but I just couldn't help but feel for him. The kid is going to hear it on Monday!

So Chiefsplanet, what's your worse chewing out, ever?

[Hammock Parties]

I'm pretty sure it was something you said to me, you dick.

[DaneMcCloud]

I'm pretty sure it was something you said to me, you dick.

LMAO

[Great Expectations]

Probably from a golden globe winner after they lost an Oscar they "deserved."

[Katipan]

I'm still waiting for my first time.

[cosmo20002]

:rolleyes:

[alpha_omega]

Guess he'll be eating out his first night home.
Best off luck to the young man.

I'll have to think about my best chewing out, it's been a while.

[Buehler445]

I have gotten a few. None terribly notable though. My coach once screamed at me, "are you deaf, dumb or just plain stupid? He then felt bad about it I'm sure. Maybe I had a "WTF do I say to that?" look on my young dumb face. He said, "just tell me, none of the above, coach."

[TribalElder]

What the fuck just happened?

[DaneMcCloud]

What the fuck just happened?

Around 2010 or so, I stopped sharing the crazy Hollywood stories because there was enough drama surrounding the Chiefs.

But in maybe the quietest Chiefs offseason ever on CP, I thought I'd share a story tonight.

My apologies if it offended anyone.

[TribalElder]

Around 2010 or so, I stopped sharing the crazy Hollywood stories because there was enough drama surrounding the Chiefs.

But in maybe the quietest Chiefs offseason ever on CP, I thought I'd share a story tonight.

My apologies if it offended anyone.

No, it's awesome

Had no idea

[vailpass]

No, it's awesome

Had no idea

You didn't know?
Dane is Neil Patrick Harris.

[DaneMcCloud]

You didn't know?
Dane is Neil Patrick Harris.

LMAO

[DaneMcCloud]

No, it's awesome

Had no idea

Okay, cool!

I try to limit them because there have been times in CP history, when people get "angry" but there have also been times when I'm the "Chuck Norris" of the internet.

It's slow so I thought I'd share.

Poor kid. Redheaded and short, too. It was like a movie scene, seriously.

[RealSNR]

Probably from my parents when I was a kid.

If that doesn't count, then it'd probably be a time in high school. I had a nutso piano teacher from Brazil who wasn't quite accustomed to the way we taught students in America. He threw a metronome at me because I didn't practice hard enough when I was in a rut that semester. The weird part is I wasn't surprised by it at all; I had heard from other students that he was capable of getting that mad, and compared to some of the other ass chewings, the quick and deliberate metronome throw was cake.

[RealSNR]

Around 2010 or so, I stopped sharing the crazy Hollywood stories because there was enough drama surrounding the Chiefs.

But in maybe the quietest Chiefs offseason ever on CP, I thought I'd share a story tonight.

My apologies if it offended anyone.

I'm offended, but only because you didn't provide any names.

I want gossip, damn it!

[TimBone]

Any Chris Brown updates?

[Direckshun]

I've gotten lots, and deserved most.

[DaneMcCloud]

Any Chris Brown updates?

Other than he sold his house and now has a baby mama, none.

Sean Kingston is the latest #1 offender, as his mama has an awful food truck that drives to fast up and down our street every day. I posted in the Super Bowl thread but his party was so big that the Hollywood Police set up DUI check points on Super Bowl Sunday. My 18 foot wide street was a disaster.

I haven't seen Anna Kendrick around lately because she's been shooting so many consecutive movies. That and some Vivid porn shoots. Those are awful and the girls are sooooo ugly.

[DaneMcCloud]

Any Chris Brown updates?

Oh, I ran into Beth Behrs from 2 Broke Girls at the lake. She moved in recently. Really pretty with no makeup and super tiny.

A spinner, for sure.

[DaneMcCloud]

I'm offended, but only because you didn't provide any names.

I want gossip, damn it!

LMAO

I just felt bad for the kid. When I told my wife, she shot out a huge laugh.

I wish I had it video, man. It was freaking classic.

This dude acted as if he had the launch codes and accidentally set off the nukes.

[TribalElder]

Wow, that sucks to be that kid. At least the next few days couldn't be much worse, assuming he doesn't **** up even more because he is worried about fucking up

I feel enlightened by this thread. I had no idea this type of shit goes on. I guess this is CP so I should have expected everyone is a millionaire super connected mafioso. LMAO

[Buehler445]

LMAO

I just felt bad for the kid. When I told my wife, she shot out a huge laugh.

I wish I had it video, man. It was freaking classic.

This dude acted as if he had the launch codes and accidentally set off the nukes.

ROFL.

I'm going to steal the bit about the nukes. That's fucking hilarious.

[Cheater5]

Oh, I ran into Beth Behrs from 2 Broke Girls at the lake. She moved in recently. Really pretty with no makeup and super tiny.

A spinner, for sure.

Woof. She's delicious and reminds me of someone in my past...

You lucky baster.

[mdchiefsfan]

Basic Training. I couldn't get anything right, and paid for it dearly.

[notorious]

I really haven't gotten my ass chewed yet.


I get the "Come on Notorious, you are smart enough to know better", which IMO is worse than an ass-chewing.


Oh, wait, I got chewed out by a cop for dragging down main street, and chewed out by another cop in downtown Springfield for pissing behind a business after leaving the bars.

[NewChief]

I worked construction for a guy who was an immense dickhead and delivered ass chewings on a daily basis. Total cokehead who was constantly on edge and geeked out.

[BucEyedPea]

Getting punched in the jaw by an old boyfriend I lived with because I worked late and couldn't make his supper.

Or it could have been when he hid behind the door late one night after I went out with girlfriends and he pounced on me pounding me on my back.

[LoneWolf]

Getting punched in the jaw by an old boyfriend I lived with because I worked late and couldn't make his supper.

Or it could have been when he hid behind the door late one night after I went out with girlfriends and he pounced on me pounding me on my back.

Unless he also yelled at you and cussed you out, I think you misunderstood the premise of this thread.

[LoneWolf]

I haven't seen Anna Kendrick around lately because she's been shooting so many consecutive movies. That and some Vivid porn shoots. Those are awful and the girls are sooooo ugly.

I initially read this as Anna Kendrick was participating in Vivid porn shoots.

As for my worst chewing out--When I was a Senior in high school, my Dad bought a brand new truck. One weekend my parents took a trip with another couple to Kansas City to watch a Chiefs game. I decided to take my girlfriend out in Dad's new truck while they were gone. I was pulling through an intersection in Wichita when an old lady ran a red light and broadsided us. Nobody was injured, thank God, but that phone call to my Dad at their hotel in KC was the worst ass chewing I've ever received.

[Nickel D]

About 20 minutes ago, I got a buzz at my gate.

Same here...but it wasn't at my gate, dude.

[BucEyedPea]

Unless he also yelled at you and cussed you out, I think you misunderstood the premise of this thread.

I wouldn't answered if it was a silent beating. The physical aspects were part of being chewed out. Thus, it was the worst one ever. Just don't remember his exact words about not getting fed.

Now shut the fuck up with your constant mindless corrections.

[BigMeatballDave]

1989. I was working at Sonic in Harrisonville. I wasn't moving fast enough for the manager's liking, so he started in on me. I smiled and waved at him while I walked out the back door.

[Bowser]

I was the first sad sack to get yelled at in basic training. THE very first, after we had all been formally assembled after the bus ride in. That was fun.

[NewChief]

I delivered one yesterday at work.

I catch a group of kids trying to go off campus during school day (which means they're technically truant). Not wanting to be a dick, I tell them to return to class but give them no discipline. They comply. Five minutes later, I see the same group of kids leaving campus through a different route. So I have to chase them down. At this point, I'm not happy. I can understand wanting to skip school. I can't, however, understand completely ignoring the fact that you got caught and trying again.

When I caught up with them, I chewed into them pretty good. I did manage to avoid cursing, though, but my voice was raised. I felt kind of bad after the fact, because I try to avoid actually getting angry when administering discipline, but this set me off.

The kids kept saying, "Chill out dude. Come on man, chill. I think you're overreacting."

Then they said, "I want to talk to a real administrator" (I'm actually a instructional leader and deal more with curriculum than discipline). At that point, my buddy who is a total hardass assistant principal comes walking out (as I'd radio'd in what was going on). I just laughed and said, "You're in luck! Here comes a REAL administrator. Hey Mr. X. This student would like to speak to a "real" administrator, not me." The kid just groaned when he looked up and saw which AP it was, and I had to laugh at that point.

[BucEyedPea]

I delivered one yesterday at work.

I catch a group of kids trying to go off campus during school day (which means they're technically truant). Not wanting to be a dick, I tell them to return to class but give them no discipline. They comply. Five minutes later, I see the same group of kids leaving campus through a different route. So I have to chase them down. At this point, I'm not happy. I can understand wanting to skip school. I can't, however, understand completely ignoring the fact that you got caught and trying again.

When I caught up with them, I chewed into them pretty good. I did manage to avoid cursing, though, but my voice was raised. I felt kind of bad after the fact, because I try to avoid actually getting angry when administering discipline, but this set me off.

The kids kept saying, "Chill out dude. Come on man, chill. I think you're overreacting."

Then they said, "I want to talk to a real administrator" (I'm actually a instructional leader and deal more with curriculum than discipline). At that point, my buddy who is a total hardass assistant principal comes walking out (as I'd radio'd in what was going on). I just laughed and said, "You're in luck! Here comes a REAL administrator. Hey Mr. X. This student would like to speak to a "real" administrator, not me." The kid just groaned when he looked up and saw which AP it was, and I had to laugh at that point.
Hah, Ha! Cool story!

[LoneWolf]

Now shut the **** up with your constant mindless corrections.

And you wonder why some guy beat your ass. It might have a little something to do with you being a raging cunt and the most annoying bitch I've ever encountered on the Internet.

[mdchiefsfan]

I was the first sad sack to get yelled at in basic training. THE very first, after we had all been formally assembled after the bus ride in. That was fun.


Same here and it never ended. I came out better for it though.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

And you wonder why some guy beat your ass. It might have a little something to do with you being a raging cunt and the most annoying bitch I've ever encountered on the Internet.

o:-)

[srvy]

As a land surveyor I have had so many ass chewing from the public and land owners it just goes in one ear and out the other. While every attempt is made to contact them that we will be on or around their property sometimes you just have to go for it as no one answers door or phone. Many times properties ownership is out of state and caretaker cannot authorize. In every State now laws are on the books that Land Surveyors have right of trespass to perform work. I have been berated by a owner while he hold a coyote rifle and told to get off his property. Those result in calling the county sheriff and being escorted on and off the property after we did our work. This has occurred maybe 5 times in my career. Ass chewings are just a part of the job.

[Perineum Ripper]

I was stationed in Ft. Bliss right after basic..being in El Paso lots of people from Mexico and went to a Walmart right off of I-10..I had been there for only a week and hadn't figured out you go to the Walmart off of Trans Mountain highway

well I'm at the I-10 Walmart and this lady backs out of her spot and I stopped to wait for her..I was about 7-8 cars away and she backed up till she hit the front of my truck..I laughed at how insanely stupid this woman had to be to hit me..I wasn't mad because she barely bumped me..I stepped out to just check the truck and the car..this woman and I'm guessing her mom..around 40 and 70 years old get out and start screaming at me in Spanish for a few minutes..I know all the cuss words and cool words like that..I'm pretty sure they called me each one a few times..I stare at them..they finally stop screaming at me when I replied with "Tengo un partido en mis pantalones." Which means I have a party in my pants..the old lady laughs..the younger woman says Fucking white people..in perfect English..then they leave

[Saccopoo]

That kid sounds like a pussy.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Okay, cool!

I try to limit them because there have been times in CP history, when people get "angry" but there have also been times when I'm the "Chuck Norris" of the internet.

It's slow so I thought I'd share.

Poor kid. Redheaded and short, too. It was like a movie scene, seriously.

Fuck every one of those faggots. I LOVE these threads.

[BucEyedPea]

And you wonder why some guy beat your ass. It might have a little something to do with you being a raging **** and the most annoying bitch I've ever encountered on the Internet.

So much anger. It's gonna shorten your life. Do you have tourette's syndrome?

Anyhow, you're wrong. He did it to his former wife and child too. He was a jealous, possessive, psycho. Kinda like you....come to think of it.

[LoneWolf]

So much anger. It's gonna shorten your life. Do you have tourette's syndrome?

Anyhow, you're wrong. He did it to his former wife and child too. He was a jealous, possessive, psycho. Kinda like you....come to think of it.

You started the cursing by telling me to "shut the fuck up", but I'm the one with anger issues and Tourette's? What color is the sky in your world?

[BucEyedPea]

Of course I did because you were doing your shit routine again. Take some responsibility for how you come off.

[LoneWolf]

Unless he also yelled at you and cussed you out, I think you misunderstood the premise of this thread.

What in my post pissed you off? Everybody was responding with stories where they were cussed out, and you responded with a story of being beaten. I simply brought up the possibility that you didn't understand the point of the thread.

I see nothing in my original response that warranted you telling me to shut the fuck up.

[stonedstooge]

Got chewed on Tuesday by some old woman at KU Med Center. I was wheeling my son from the front desk where he had to check in, to the small elevator to get up to the Medical Office Center where he had his appointment.

I had him backed up to the elevator, and when the door opened, I glanced behind me, didn't see anyone, and started backing him up into the elevator. The old lady was up against a wall and I didn't see her. So she starts in on me how you "Need to let people off the elevator before you get on" and went on and on about it.

I finally said very sarcastically "I DIDN'T SEE YOU MA'AM" and she kept on bitching as she exited the elevator. Another man was wheeling his wife waiting for the elevator too. As she walked by them I called her "BITCH" and she kept on walking.

The couple waiting with us for the elevator said,"we'll wait" and didn't want to get on the elevator with us. 2 wheelchairs could fit if you maneuvered them

[BucEyedPea]

Did you say something LoneWolf? Ahh, iggy is nice when there's meanies around.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

She had to be a blue haired beaker stooge

[Fire Me Boy!]

Probably from a cop after I was ridiculously stupid.

I was 16, 17ish, and got to drag racing a buddy in a residential part of town. Crested a hill and saw a stop sign. I slammed on the brakes, which immediately locked up. I clearly recall thinking, "I'm either going to slide through this intersection out of control, or drive through it in control." So I let off the brake and put the foot back on the accelerator, figuring the faster I went through, the better.

Just as I rounded a corner, a friend in the car says, "Good thing there wasn't a cop around." And then the lights.

The cop that pulled me over was this Jamaican guy named JJ. He was also the resource officer at my high school. He chewed me up one side and down the other (in his thick Jamaican accent), rattling off the ticketing offenses: Stop sign violation, driving in the wrong lane, no turn signal, 72 in a 30, careless and imprudent...

He gave me a warning. And to this day, I think he didn't ticket me because he would have been required to arrest me.

[J Diddy]

There was this one time I was working as a receptionist at a towing company. Cute little bitch was all about talking about my weight, my teeth, my level of education. You name it she said it.

I got the last laugh though: I posted the security tape and she got suspended from her job for a week.

[mdchiefsfan]

There was this one time I was working as a receptionist at a towing company. Cute little bitch was all about talking about my weight, my teeth, my level of education. You name it she said it.

I got the last laugh though: I posted the security tape and she got suspended from her job for a week.

LMAO

[Sully]

I played footall at Missouri Western in 94 for about 3 minutes. Long enough to make it through two-a-days, and get into the team pic, but not much longer.
my position coach had previously coached at USC, and during positional meetings, we typically watched USC practice tape, and most often Seau.
after days and days of this, and the drag of practices, we were all getting a little on edge, and I thought I'd lighten the mood by smarting off to the coach about him constantly bringin up USC.

Not a great move for a walk on freshman...

I think the paint in our little 10x10 room peeled that afternoon.