PDA

View Full Version : Sporting KC 12 UrbanDictionary Sex Acts That WILL Get You Arrested

TLO
10-17-2015, 09:18 PM
On my phone, and formatting is a mess. Here's the link.
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7016113/12-urbandictionary-sex-acts-that-literally-no-human-being-has-ever-performed
BullJunkandIron
10-17-2015, 10:48 PM
Oh, I'm sorry, Carol, but I thought you said you were OPEN-MINDED when it came to our lovemaking. I GUESS NOT.
Dayze
10-17-2015, 10:52 PM
Oh, I'm sorry, Carol, but I thought you said you were OPEN-MINDED when it came to our lovemaking. I GUESS NOT.


LMAO

"carol". ...not sure why, but that cracked my shit up. I think it's because I read it as Ray Liotta in Goodfellas when Karen flushed all the coke down the turlet.
KCrockaholic
10-17-2015, 10:56 PM
I read those. Then read the dates posted. I'm amazed. I had no idea the internet was that incredible at such a young age.
NewChief
10-17-2015, 11:07 PM
I was crying reading these to my wife. Holy shit, that was awesome.

She kept saying, "Shh... I think the kids are coming in from the gameroom" between wiping away tears of laughter. The one about Cleopatra dying from some version of the Alabama whatever was beautiful.
KCrockaholic
10-17-2015, 11:14 PM
I'll be honest. For a couple seconds I was thinking about how I could pull off the "Lion King" on my woman. Then I imagined her reaction.

Then I realized, yes I'll want to have sex again and it's probably not a good idea.
Cheater5
10-18-2015, 02:32 AM
Dafuq did I just read? Most of those were not even possible. Hardy har har, I guess.
NewChief
10-18-2015, 06:52 AM
Dafuq did I just read? Most of those were not even possible. Hardy har har, I guess.

The actual link title is "sex acts that no human has actually performed."
WilliamTheIrish
10-18-2015, 07:17 AM
The actual link title is "sex acts that no human has actually performed."

Amazingly similar to lil smokey' real sex life.
Molitoth
10-18-2015, 07:35 AM
Read first one, grossly stupid. Stopped reading.
TEX
10-18-2015, 07:56 AM
Read first one, grossly stupid. Stopped reading.

This.
notorious
10-18-2015, 08:15 AM
Got about 5 in and thought it was kind of dumb. Should I continue to read? Does it get better?
Easy 6
10-18-2015, 08:20 AM
Read first one, grossly stupid. Stopped reading.

Pretty much where I ended up with this.

Reads like a 14 year old trying to be as gross as possible.
Baby Lee
10-18-2015, 08:22 AM
Got about 5 in and thought it was kind of dumb. Should I continue to read? Does it get better?

Eh, it's comic riffing on sex, imagination and wordplay.

It's fertile territory, but they really haven't improved on the early years with Blumpkin and Angry Dragon.

You can eke out a chuckle or two if you're of a mind.
stumppy
10-18-2015, 11:19 AM
My personal favorite has always been 'The Superman'.

Wait until the little lady is asleep on her stomach, get yourself worked up and blow your wad on her upper back and shoulders. Then gently take the bed sheet and press it down onto her back. DO NOT wake her.
In the morning she'll get out of bed and walk off with the sheet glued to her like it's a Superman cape.
Have you're camera ready.