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Rain Man
11-13-2015, 11:11 AM
File this one under 'improbable events'.

I got in the shower this morning like many other mornings, and it was a shaving day. Since I post on Chiefsplanet I obviously shave my head, and it's easier to do it in the shower.

Lather, lather, shave, shave, and I'm done. I put the razor up in its little cubbyhole and turned around to finish rinsing. I tend to prop it up in its cubbyhole so it doesn't rust if any water gets in there.

The razor is your normal two-blade Trac II, and I've used it since I was 15 years old. For whatever reason, it didn't prop well today. I heard a clatter, turned around, and it was on the shower floor. And my heel hurt.

I don't know how, but somehow it managed to fall in such a way that the razor edge landed on my heel, right where it flares out on the back of my foot. One in a million shot. Whatever. I'm under the water flow so I can't tell if it's bleeding much. I put the razor back up, finish rinsing, and get out.

I walk over to my clothes, and look down to see if the cut is still bleeding. Holy cow. Our floor is hardwood, and there were literally bloody footprints leading from the shower to me. The inside of the shower looked like Janet Leigh had been rolling around in it, and there was blood all over the back and bottom of my foot. It was actually dripping blood.

I guess a razor falling five feet can really dig into a person's foot. It took me a half-hour to get the bleeding to stop, and at one point I was thinking I might have to go to the emergency room to get stitches. I finally got it stopped, but now I'm hobbling around because the cut is right where it keeps getting pulled open when I walk.

Someone check on me later today. I don't want to die in my office if the blood loss is too extreme.

kepp
11-13-2015, 11:13 AM
Dab on a little antifreeze and that'll heal right up.

seclark
11-13-2015, 11:17 AM
you didn't start your period too?
sec

KC native
11-13-2015, 11:17 AM
Put a drop of super glue on it to hold it closed.

You're welcome.

Molitoth
11-13-2015, 11:23 AM
Since I post on Chiefsplanet I obviously shave my head

lol

MIAdragon
11-13-2015, 11:27 AM
While driving to the ER be sure to avoid the left lane or you may get brake checked and the finger.

Bob Dole
11-13-2015, 11:35 AM
Soak your foot in a tub of kerosene and it will clot.

Rain Man
11-13-2015, 11:36 AM
Soak your foot in a tub of kerosene and it will clot.

That sounds dangerous.

TLO
11-13-2015, 11:36 AM
You're gonna die.

Rain Man
11-13-2015, 11:40 AM
You're gonna die.

I'm kind of woozy, actually. It's not looking good.

Canofbier
11-13-2015, 11:43 AM
The razor "fell" and nicked you on the ankle? Just admit it: you were shaving your legs in the hope that you could shave a few seconds off of your half marathon times.

Dayze
11-13-2015, 11:51 AM
Million to one shot doc.
http://26.media.tumblr.com/49QI3kEvMkib2o6najKD9s9no1_400.png

Dayze
11-13-2015, 11:53 AM
I'm on blood thinners, and cut my knuckle a week or so ago....thought I was gonna bleed out. JFC. Took HOURs to stop bleeding though band aids etc.

Fire Me Boy!
11-13-2015, 11:58 AM
If you have to go to the ER, start a GoFundMe page and post about it here.

bdj23
11-13-2015, 12:01 PM
Thoughts and prayers

Hydrae
11-13-2015, 12:02 PM
You should probably get a new razor. Using the same one since you were 15 is not a good idea.

The Franchise
11-13-2015, 12:08 PM
If you have to go to the ER, start a GoFundMe page and post about it here.

Somebody has to pay his bills!

Rain Man
11-13-2015, 12:56 PM
You should probably get a new razor. Using the same one since you were 15 is not a good idea.

To clarify, I switch the blades in the razor occasionally.

I'm still hanging on, but we'll see how the day progresses.

Rain Man
11-13-2015, 12:58 PM
The razor "fell" and nicked you on the ankle? Just admit it: you were shaving your legs in the hope that you could shave a few seconds off of your half marathon times.

Now that you mention it, I could probably cut a full minute off my time if I shaved both my arms and my legs. Hmm.

ptlyon
11-13-2015, 01:00 PM
Glad you are ok. Wait. Didn't read it all. Are you ok?

Lonewolf Ed
11-13-2015, 01:04 PM
One thing you don't need is an infection. I'd go to the doc to be safe.

ptlyon
11-13-2015, 01:06 PM
One thing you don't need is an infection. I'd go to the doc to be safe.

If you get it, go to the doctor and get rid of it

Predarat
11-13-2015, 01:09 PM
Drink a shitload of tomato juice and eat a nice, rare 14oz KC Strip, eat a baked potato WITH the peeling, it tastes good if coated in Olive Oil and baked without foil. Do that and you will be fine.

Rain Man
11-13-2015, 01:16 PM
Glad you are ok. Wait. Didn't read it all. Are you ok?

According to the poll, I'm dying.

The Franchise
11-13-2015, 01:17 PM
Make sure you update your status to Questionable.