This sucks..Divorce. What is the best Online "D" site to use?

[Holladay]

Been married for 24 yrs. 2 kids (18 son and 20 daughter), he is going Ks Nat Guard/KU(Pit St) ROTC route to be an officer, she graduates in 3 yrs, major int'l studies (whatever that is) minor bus minor soc.

Wife is German, met whilst in the Army Frankfurt. Did Desert Storm etc . Left Army as Capt and started my own bus. You look back, the hand writing is on the wall.

To get married, I called the Justice of the Peace in E-town (outside Ft Knox)..what does it take to get married. 30 min, $50. Put me down for 1:00pm next day. Next call was to an attourney...what does it take to get divorced. Uncontested...$200 and 30 min. Done. Married..1992.

She is a firecracker...good and bad. Smart and a Neat Freak. Through the yrs there have been many issues. Won't go into them yet. Asked a client which happens to be a Judge, years ago about keeping the kids (after wife went weirdo and put her hand through a glass window). Judge said no way to get kids???

Years flash forward. Stuff happens...small. We have talked D.

Last couple points. She was away in Germany for a month. She is, as mentioned before, a neat freak. I built a stairway into her loft (major deal), sweep, mop, dust, the whole house...cleaned the toilets. First thing she says when she comes home was "you didn't clean the microwave".

Last night, I asked if we could snuggle for a bit. ( We don't sleep in the same room, I snore) She didn't answer, later went up to her room and she is watching a internet German Soap Opera in bed. I asked which is more important...soap or snuggle. Soap. Last straw.

Thus this post.

So, this type of stuff has happened through years and am done. I have 20 yrs left (aged 52) and don't want to do this anymore...

She doesn't love me, I want to and do...but can't. 2 way street. Thus the D word.

Really don't want it to get nasty, nor her. I found a on-line D site. You fill out the forms and take it to a judge.

Which is the best one?

I wanna have fun my next 20 yrs( sex 3 times thus far this year:() , not be bitched at. Kids are gone, thus that issue is mute.

Thoughts?

Sorry, I need to see Jamal have more carries to see if he can carry the rock full time. NOW it is a football thread.

Thanks

[Simply Red]

Sorry to hear that. I really wish you the best.

[Simply Red]

also, it DOES get easier.

[DaneMcCloud]

Hire a competent lawyer.

Don't fuck around.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Look in forward to hearing your stories of plowing hidden fatty 4s on POFish..so will steer you there.

[BryanBusby]

Hire a competent lawyer.

Don't fuck around.
this

[TrebMaxx]

I have no advice to give you. Married 26 years and no mention of D-word. I would lawyer up though if I was in your situation.

[Bugeater]

I'm not sure I'd trust an online site for something like that. Everything you own will be on the table.

Oh, and pics of her since she'll soon be single?

[Holladay]

Look in forward to hearing your stories of plowing hidden fatty 4s on POFish..so will steer you there.


No clue

Hire a competent lawyer.

Don't **** around.

Understand. Have a friend that did the "D" and did the docs on line. They both knew it was for the best and didn't have to pay an lawyer. Went to the Judge and done.

An aside...I had my G-moms trust updated to add 2 other trustees. To add 2 sentences to amend the original doc cost $375! Lord knows what it would cost to do a divorce?

I have the wife over a barrel. First we both agree, we don't want to be together. The kids are out of the picture. If we split 50/50, then I have rights to her land/property over in Germany...fair amount of assets.

We signed a piece of paper that said "Yours in Germany is yours, mine in US is mine". This was in our basement. Not notarized just a piece of paper.

In the end, why spend a boat load on lawyers if we agree? If it turns nasty, I have spoken to my attorney to help.

Thus the best web site for the docs.

[Holladay]

Oh, and pics of her since she'll soon be single?

You wanna see pics of a 49 yr old?

I think she is still ~hot~, you should have seen her when she was 25:drool:

Basically, she was the only travel agent on post with 20,000 men, Freidburg, same post the Elvis did his tour. I landed her. It has been a nice ride, kids etc...but both agree the ride is over.

Thus simple docs, no attorney's (useless money), but will have my attorney on retainer is stuff flies.

Again, best site?

[Simply Red]

You wanna see pics of a 49 yr old?

I think she is still ~hot~, you should have seen her when she was 25:drool:

**** her - don't give her any more of your attention - time to move on if she's not cherishing you in the same manner. Seriously you deserve better!

[Holladay]

yuppers

[Holladay]

now it is apathy

[Simply Red]

I spent a lot of my time trying to force, shape, create basically FIND ways for a person to like me - It's NOT worth it and it NEVER works - no more of that - once you learn that lesson - You'll never settle for anything less. I'm not being a wise-guy - I'm only trying to help!

[Pasta Little Brioni]

I spent a lot of my time trying to force, shape, create basically FIND ways for a person to like me - It's NOT worth it and it NEVER works - no more of that - once you learn that lesson - You'll never settle for anything less. I'm not being a wise-guy - I'm only trying to help!

:clap: Sage advice right here

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Thought you were lookin for an online meat market Holladay...whoops misread

[Simply Red]

Thought you were lookin for an online meat market Holladay...whoops misread

hahah

[Holladay]

I spent a lot of my time trying to force, shape, create basically FIND ways for a person to like me - It's NOT worth it and it NEVER works - no more of that - once you learn that lesson - You'll never settle for anything less. I'm not being a wise-guy - I'm only trying to help!

Gotcha

Same boat for twenty some odd years. I am done, been done for years, but didn't have the balls to do it. I had a dream about it last night..confirmation.

Basic point, hit 52 last week. I got 20 yrs left. Don't wanna do this for another 20 yrs.

Then an ephanany (sp) hit...don't have too. Kids are gone etc. Change is hard, but the end result a lot of fun and no bitch to worry about hounding me.

[eDave]

Gotcha

Same boat for twenty some odd years. I am done, been done for years, but didn't have the balls to do it. I had a dream about it last night..confirmation.

Basic point, hit 52 last week. I got 20 yrs left. Don't wanna do this for another 20 yrs.

Then an ephanany (sp) hit...don't have too. Kids are gone etc. Change is hard, but the end result a lot of fun and no bitch to worry about hounding me.


Why do you keep saying you have 20 years left?

We used a paralegal for ours. Real cheap. It's just paperwork. Unless there is a protracted battle, that should work for you. We settled the separation of stuff before applying.

[Simply Red]

Gotcha

Same boat for twenty some odd years. I am done, been done for years, but didn't have the balls to do it. I had a dream about it last night..confirmation.

Basic point, hit 52 last week. I got 20 yrs left. Don't wanna do this for another 20 yrs.

Then an ephanany (sp) hit...don't have too. Kids are gone etc. Change is hard, but the end result a lot of fun and no bitch to worry about hounding me.

well good. I wish you well, I really do.

[BryanBusby]

One thing to keep in mind.

While you're thinking of the easiest way to finalize it, she's looking at how to fuck you over the hardest.

[Eureka]

With your story you won't have any problem finding a woman who wants to have fun/live life like you do. Best wishes on your new adventure/chapter!!!!

[Simply Red]

With your story you won't have any problem finding a woman who wants to have fun/live life like you do. Best wishes on your new adventure/chapter!!!!

:clap:

[Simply Red]

One thing to keep in mind.

While you're thinking of the easiest way to finalize it, she's looking at how to **** you over the hardest.

not always true either. But usually is - My ex didn't want that - just wanted out.

[TimBone]

Hire a competent lawyer.

Don't fuck around.
I don't know much, but I'd agree with this.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I really do hope you find happiness.

[Skyy God]

No clue



Understand. Have a friend that did the "D" and did the docs on line. They both knew it was for the best and didn't have to pay an lawyer. Went to the Judge and done.

An aside...I had my G-moms trust updated to add 2 other trustees. To add 2 sentences to amend the original doc cost $375! Lord knows what it would cost to do a divorce?

I have the wife over a barrel. First we both agree, we don't want to be together. The kids are out of the picture. If we split 50/50, then I have rights to her land/property over in Germany...fair amount of assets.

We signed a piece of paper that said "Yours in Germany is yours, mine in US is mine". This was in our basement. Not notarized just a piece of paper.

In the end, why spend a boat load on lawyers if we agree? If it turns nasty, I have spoken to my attorney to help.

Thus the best web site for the docs.

You've heard of the phrase penny wise and pound foolish, right?

[RobBlake]

you will hurt, but the best thing to do is focus on bettering your life by taking care of your needs. No relationship is perfect t but going based off your description and my own experience, she didn't appreciate you nor truly loved you. You will realize once you find a better compliment what true love is and what it means to be longed for. If you do the things you love and build yourself up positively you will find someone with a similar mindset naturally. Put yourself in the right environment.

If it involves major assets, it's always smart to lawyer up. You may think she's willing to work with you now, but feelings change and she may get contemptuous advice and bite you in the ass. Lawyer fees are worth it when dealing with valuables.. money comes and goes

[Holladay]

Man, thanks for your thoughts.

She is a great "business partner/family manager" with a sharp german tongue! With the kids gone...don't think I need that anymore. I was fantizing about finding another girl with "match.com". Boy, I was gonna be restrictive...that prolly would blow me outta the water from the start. lol.

But the new ADVENTURE. I haven't had that for 25 yrs.

I'm thinking, she knows what is going on. She has a bunch of assets in Germany. 50/50. She doesn't want to loss those. I don't want them. Kids gone...easy. Show her the online docs...discuss..sign.

If she pulls a Linda Blair (Exorcist for you youngsters...nice tits btw), do the attorney route.

Again, she has assets, thats the leverage.

There is no affair (other dude or duddette for me...yet), just fallen out of love.

She has expecting me to have talked to the attorney. Even has said "well, what did the attorney say".

This should be fine. I just wanted some CP ideas. If you hear of mutil gun shot deaths in lil Hiawatha, you will know it didn't go as planned. BIG JOKE. some CPer's are gonna freak. hheheh

[Holladay]

you will hurt, but the best thing to do is focus on bettering your life by taking care of your needs

I know. That is why I have been putting this off for so long. Now, understanding my mortality of ~20 yrs (would put me at aged 72), shit or get off the pot. I will be doing both and hoping. Not that it is necessarliy bad, no abuse etc, just no fun.

I want fun. Thoughts thou, at this age, what is FUN. What makes you happy.

(DARN....NEW CAN OF WORMS)

Bed time for Bonzo

[stumppy]

I spent a lot of my time trying to force, shape, create basically FIND ways for a person to like me - It's NOT worth it and it NEVER works - no more of that - once you learn that lesson - You'll never settle for anything less. I'm not being a wise-guy - I'm only trying to help!

It took me too a while to figure that out for myself too.

What you see is what you get.

I make that clear from the beginning in a relationship and don't have a problem telling any woman that.

[Mojo Jojo]

Get an attorney. Better safe than sorry,

[tmax63]

I have never once heard any of my friends say "boy I wish I hadn't wasted that money on a lawyer for my divorce". On the other hand I've heard "that bitch and her lawyer took me to the cleaners" by a lot of them. Choose your camp. If it really is that agreeable then it won't take as much of your lawyer's time and your money and if things get twisted you've got help.

[MIAdragon]

You've heard of the phrase penny wise and pound foolish, right?

If he's fine with her keeping hers and him keeping his then no need for lawyers (at the initial filling anyway). The state gov site will have the documents you need to print and fill out. If she decides to get cray and go to mediation then lawyer up. Good luck bud go get happy, it's never too late.

[Marcellus]

Good luck, you are doing the right thing.One of my favorite quotes is from Mike Rowe -

What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.

[Skyy God]

Man, thanks for your thoughts.

She is a great "business partner/family manager" with a sharp german tongue! With the kids gone...don't think I need that anymore. I was fantizing about finding another girl with "match.com". Boy, I was gonna be restrictive...that prolly would blow me outta the water from the start. lol.

But the new ADVENTURE. I haven't had that for 25 yrs.

I'm thinking, she knows what is going on. She has a bunch of assets in Germany. 50/50. She doesn't want to loss those. I don't want them. Kids gone...easy. Show her the online docs...discuss..sign.

If she pulls a Linda Blair (Exorcist for you youngsters...nice tits btw), do the attorney route.

Again, she has assets, thats the leverage.

There is no affair (other dude or duddette for me...yet), just fallen out of love.

She has expecting me to have talked to the attorney. Even has said "well, what did the attorney say".

This should be fine. I just wanted some CP ideas. If you hear of mutil gun shot deaths in lil Hiawatha, you will know it didn't go as planned. BIG JOKE. some CPer's are gonna freak. hheheh

As this is your first (and hopefully last) divorce, I can assure you there are concerns you don't know about. At least pay $500 for a good attorney to go over them with you.

Also, good luck meeting a dude on Match. ;)

[BlackHelicopters]

Walk away fast. Don't look back. Give her what she wants. Easier. No regrets. Just get out.

[luv]

Why do you keep saying you have 20 years left?

We used a paralegal for ours. Real cheap. It's just paperwork. Unless there is a protracted battle, that should work for you. We settled the separation of stuff before applying.

As a paralegal, all I can say is that I hope all they did was file for you. Anything else is considered legal advice, which paralegals are not supposed to give. We are not licensed.

[BWillie]

Das Scheidung.

Germans have superior minds compared to the rest of the world. But they are annoying as ****. Tell her to go eat some wiener schnitzel & stomp around your house doing whatever the hell you want before they take it away. Make awesome microwave meals that explode all over the microwave while cooking them, and don't clean it up.

The guy always gets ****ed in divorces. It's bullshit.

Cordellcordell.com

[ndws]

Went through this very thing a few years ago.

She was from another state, we separated, and I filed locally. She needed to accrue some time back in her home state to establish residency (or something like that) before she could file for divorce there, meaning any/all court hearings would have been there.

So by filing here, it gave me some leverage to settle on our own, and only use the hearing to make it official.

It was still a pain in the ass. We settled on a cash number, then she would walk away from the house and land. Then she tried upping the number, but if we could settle and sign some documents, she didn't need to appear for the hearing...only me. So I used that as leverage to back her off her newly inflated number. If she wanted that larger amount, she could lawyer up, go to court, and fight me for it...meaning she would ultimately get less than what I was offering by time she factored in travel, lawyer fees, etc. And that worked in my favor.

You gotta talk to a lawyer before you pull the trigger. Even if its mutually agreeable, its still a good idea. They will give you some pretty good insight. In my case, we rolled the division of equity into alimony, so I got a tax break on it.

When it was all said and done, I think my lawyer charged me $900 (which included filing and court fees), and his time for drawing up the settlement, and going to court in another town, etc. Yeah, it seems like a large amount, but really...at the end of the day, that peace of mind in knowing that everything was going to be addressed and finalized made that an easy check to write.

It looks like we are in the same neck of the woods (in fact we probably know some of the same people if I had to guess), so if you want his name/number, PM me. He's over in Doniphan Co. He'll talk to you for free at first, and any time I needed to talk to him, he answered the phone and didn't tack anything on.

[Weapon X]

Sorry to hear about your divorce, OP.

...but I do love the phrasing of the thread title. To answer your question, I would assume Grinder is the best online D site out there, but I'm straight so idk

[Bwana]

Sorry to hear about your situation, but get an attorney just to be on the safe side. After you get this thing wrapped up, start living life again and enjoy yourself.

[ptlyon]

Sorry to hear about your divorce, OP.

...but I do love the phrasing of the thread title. To answer your question, I would assume Grinder is the best online D site out there, but I'm straight so idk

Good to know

[Fish]

Just be careful. I understand your desire to keep it cheap and amicable. But you cannot depend on that being the case. A handwritten note in the basement isn't going to be legally binding. You're married in the US, and her assets in another country might not be so easily used as leverage once you get down to it. I'd certainly ask a lawyer before assuming it to be the case. I'm afraid I've seen too many fellas stroll into their divorce expecting a nice easy negotiable split with both sides playing nice. And $75,000 and 4 years later they're still in the process. Don't just expect her to do the nice thing because of your prior relationship, even if she currently says she would. If you can do it cheap and without lawyers, go for it. But I'd be damn sure about your legal standing before throwing caution to the wind. Seen too many good fellas waltz into that meat grinder.....

[ptlyon]

Just be careful. I understand your desire to keep it cheap and amicable. But you cannot depend on that being the case. A handwritten note in the basement isn't going to be legally binding. You're married in the US, and her assets in another country might not be so easily used as leverage once you get down to it. I'd certainly ask a lawyer before assuming it to be the case. I'm afraid I've seen too many fellas stroll into their divorce expecting a nice easy negotiable split with both sides playing nice. And $75,000 and 4 years later they're still in the process. Don't just expect her to do the nice thing because of your prior relationship, even if she currently says she would. If you can do it cheap and without lawyers, go for it. But I'd be damn sure about your legal standing before throwing caution to the wind. Seen too many good fellas waltz into that meat grinder.....

Short hand translation: Bitches be crazy

Good luck OP

[Halfcan]

It would be best if you can hire a lawyer together-much cheaper. If you agree on all the assets-this is the way to go.

If you hire a lawyer and then she gets one-they are only out for themselves. Billable hours. They are fucking crooks-all of them. Charge you $100 bucks to send you a letter- $50.00 for a phone call stating - no progress. Lawyers use your emotions against you to "Win" -and in the end it cost you a lot more.

[Amnorix]

I'm not a divorce lawyer, and any advice on here is worth what you pay for it, but...

1. Do you and the soon-to-be-ex have any agreement regarding paying for college expenses for the kids?

2. While the kids are 18 and legal adults, have you had any discussion or has there been any though about who they will live with? Any consideration of paying food/housing cost for them?

3. You said you own your own business, I believe. What is your ownership interest worth, and how does that weigh against her German assets. Without question, if your ownership interest is worth alot, and more than her German assets, she may start rethinking this "yours is yours and mine is mine" approach.

You can do a quickie divorce, but you should consult with an attorney. If you have a reasonably good one, I'd be pretty surprised if you come back and say he wasn't worth the money.

Best wishes. Divorce sucks. But sex once every three months sucks worse. F that. Good luck!

[gblowfish]

Hire Joe Cordell.
Then take a dump in your fridge crisper bin.
Set the tone...

[Dayze]

watch "Divorce Corp" on Netflix.

that'll get one fired up.

[New World Order]

Next step: get out of Hiawatha.

[scho63]

Hire this guy. I hear he is a shark

http://images.zap2it.com/assets/p184084_n150_cc_v4_aa/la-law.jpg

[verbaljitsu]

It is life malpractice to at the very least not consult a divorce lawyer.

International property, retirement/military pension, real estate, children, at least 20 years of joint property. No form exists that can even get close.

[Prison Bitch]

Do whatever you can to reconcile. That's my advice

[BlackHelicopters]

Get out now. Fast.

[Anyong Bluth]

Been married for 24 yrs. 2 kids (18 son and 20 daughter), he is going Ks Nat Guard/KU(Pit St) ROTC route to be an officer, she graduates in 3 yrs, major int'l studies (whatever that is) minor bus minor soc.

Wife is German, met whilst in the Army Frankfurt. Did Desert Storm etc . Left Army as Capt and started my own bus. You look back, the hand writing is on the wall.

To get married, I called the Justice of the Peace in E-town (outside Ft Knox)..what does it take to get married. 30 min, $50. Put me down for 1:00pm next day. Next call was to an attourney...what does it take to get divorced. Uncontested...$200 and 30 min. Done. Married..1992.

She is a firecracker...good and bad. Smart and a Neat Freak. Through the yrs there have been many issues. Won't go into them yet. Asked a client which happens to be a Judge, years ago about keeping the kids (after wife went weirdo and put her hand through a glass window). Judge said no way to get kids???

Years flash forward. Stuff happens...small. We have talked D.

Last couple points. She was away in Germany for a month. She is, as mentioned before, a neat freak. I built a stairway into her loft (major deal), sweep, mop, dust, the whole house...cleaned the toilets. First thing she says when she comes home was "you didn't clean the microwave".

Last night, I asked if we could snuggle for a bit. ( We don't sleep in the same room, I snore) She didn't answer, later went up to her room and she is watching a internet German Soap Opera in bed. I asked which is more important...soap or snuggle. Soap. Last straw.

Thus this post.

So, this type of stuff has happened through years and am done. I have 20 yrs left (aged 52) and don't want to do this anymore...

She doesn't love me, I want to and do...but can't. 2 way street. Thus the D word.

Really don't want it to get nasty, nor her. I found a on-line D site. You fill out the forms and take it to a judge.

Which is the best one?

I wanna have fun my next 20 yrs( sex 3 times thus far this year:() , not be bitched at. Kids are gone, thus that issue is mute.

Thoughts?

Sorry, I need to see Jamal have more carries to see if he can carry the rock full time. NOW it is a football thread.

Thanks

Legal advice.

She doesn't seem to have a lot of emotional investment, and I don't know what assets you have.

Does she have means to support herself post D? If no- assets are going to become a fight.

If assets and finances aren't going to be a problem, & obviously no problem with custody issues, go the cheapest route and be free, but that's a rare situation.

Sorry to hear. I know it's tough, and the biggest adjustment is getting used to new habits and routines no longer with a partner. I'd savor being single and take a break from even thinking about dating and find out who you are, what you like, etc.. A quarter century away from being single and putting family / kids first, I think you are going to find there's a lot of new discovery of your own and your interests and drive.

[bevischief]

Mine paid for the lawyer all had to do was sign. Haven't looked back since. I have said f*** it and started on my bucket list. Happiest I have been in years.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

F a midget yet bevis?

[Prison Bitch]

Walk away fast. Don't look back. Give her what she wants. Easier. No regrets. Just get out.

Typical guy advice. You don't really believe a person can divorce with "no regrets" - maybe it's the best decision but there will usually be SOME regret. The grass isn't always greener.

When my friends talk about marital problems I always ask: "What can you do to improve the marriage?" They act like that never occurred to them. We cause our share of problems but I've seen several friends be patient on this and it does work out more than not.

[saphojunkie]

Gotcha

Same boat for twenty some odd years. I am done, been done for years, but didn't have the balls to do it. I had a dream about it last night..confirmation.

Basic point, hit 52 last week. I got 20 yrs left. Don't wanna do this for another 20 yrs.

Then an ephanany (sp) hit...don't have too. Kids are gone etc. Change is hard, but the end result a lot of fun and no bitch to worry about hounding me.

Hey man, at least now custody isn't a thing. Just houses and stuff. With any luck, she goes back to Germany and you keep the house.

[temper11]

Sorry to hear about your situation man. Good on you for deciding it was time to do something about it. That's never an easy thing to do - but you'll probably be very glad you did it once you are through it. The whole, "life is too short" thing.

Good luck.

[underEJ]

I filed my own divorce with an online service. It worked pretty well, although there were several filings that had recent rule changes that the site was unaware of and I had to refile. The court clerk was super helpful in making sure I had the correct filings before putting it in front of the judge. I'd say it was a real success overall, but we weren't fighting about anything. It also helped that california is a no fault state so there is no question of how the division will take place. It is 50/50, no exceptions. Check the statutes for your state in case there are complications. I used legalzoom. 275 dollars plus the extra 85 dollar filing fee for the rule change updates I had to refile. Not a bad deal.

[Mr. Laz]

sorry dude, it will get better

[notorious]

Typical guy advice. You don't really believe a person can divorce with "no regrets" - maybe it's the best decision but there will usually be SOME regret. The grass isn't always greener.

When my friends talk about marital problems I always ask: "What can you do to improve the marriage?" They act like that never occurred to them. We cause our share of problems but I've seen several friends be patient on this and it does work out more than not.

PB is right to an extent. Some people don't put out effort to make things better. It's easier to blame the other and give up.

In my rough times, I step back and kick up the effort and the payout return from my wife is great.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good reasons to get divorced, and not being in love is #1 on the list.

[Skyy God]

PB is right to an extent. Some people don't put out effort to make things better. It's easier to blame the other and give up.

In my rough times, I step back and kick up the effort and the payout return from my wife is great.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good reasons to get divorced, and not being in love is #1 on the list.

I'd put sex once every three months #1.

[ptlyon]

I'd put sex once every three months #1.

You're both wrong. #1 cause for divorce is marriage.

[Prison Bitch]

Above all, divorce with and without kids is totally different and should be treated as such. That said:

What does "being in love" even mean? Honestly: marriage is a partnership. A financial and legal partnership above all else. Normally to raise productive children. Being "in love" is way down the list no?

There are 4 good reasons to divorce, the 4 "A's": Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, Addictions. Not being in love seems to be flimsy to me.

[Ming the Merciless]

If she had assets before the marriage or brought assets into the marriage through inheritance and they aren't co-mingled... they may not be subject to a 50/50 split.

Likewise if you brought assets into the marriage or inherited assets, and did NOT co mingle them with her...then they could be protected.

Any assets you co mingled or acquired together would be at risk.

I think you need to talk to a lawyer if you have serious assets that are co mingled or acquired together and/ or if her assets in Germany were inherited or brought into the marriage solely by her and not using Co mingled funds...

You may not have as much leverage as you think you do...so discuss this with a lawyer before making assumptions.

[Ming the Merciless]

Also the leverage from her German assets could be meaningless if you can't get a German court to issue a writ of possession or whatever they have over there...and complete a legal process there to get a judgment, writ, and collect on it.

[MTG#10]

You should probably just have her killed at this point. I may know a guy.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

I'm an attorney, and I do divorces on the side (it's not my main practice area). I can tell you that you may not have to pay as much as you think for decent help. A lot of people just assume it's going to be thousands of dollars, but depending on the specifics of your case you can actually get an uncontested divorce for a reasonable price if you do some digging and call around.

This is not in any way a solicitation, and I'm not in any way suggesting that you hire me, as I know nothing about your case aside from what you posted. I'm just saying check around and you may find a lawyer who can help for just a couple hundred bucks more than what you would pay for forms. *shrug* It's worth spending a couple hours working the phones to see what kind of prices you can get, anyways.

[Marcellus]

Mine paid for the lawyer all had to do was sign. Haven't looked back since. I have said f*** it and started on my bucket list. Happiest I have been in years.


F a midget yet bevis?


LMAO I love CP.

[Holladay]

You all are a GREAT help. Bases upon your comments, I will seek an attorney. The german assets and my business will create some problems. I don't mind helping out, just not bent over.

1. Do you and the soon-to-be-ex have any agreement regarding paying for college expenses for the kids?

2. While the kids are 18 and legal adults, have you had any discussion or has there been any though about who they will live with? Any consideration of paying food/housing cost for them?

3. You said you own your own business, I believe. What is your ownership interest worth, and how does that weigh against her German assets. Without question, if your ownership interest is worth alot, and more than her German assets, she may start rethinking this "yours is yours and mine is mine" approach.

You can do a quickie divorce, but you should consult with an attorney. If you have a reasonably good one, I'd be pretty surprised if you come back and say he wasn't worth the money.


Daughter has 1.5 yrs left of college. I don't mind helping a bunch on that. Son is going to Ks Natl Guard then college and the military will pay for most of it. They will out of the house this summer. I think the values are close german vs business.


If she had assets before the marriage or brought assets into the marriage through inheritance and they aren't co-mingled... they may not be subject to a 50/50 split.

Likewise if you brought assets into the marriage or inherited assets, and did NOT co mingle them with her...then they could be protected.

Any assets you co mingled or acquired together would be at risk.


Great point. Her assets is mainly real estate from parents and G-mom. They also have quite a bit in the bank. My business was built with us being married.


In my rough times, I step back and kick up the effort and the payout return from my wife is great.

Boy have I tried. Roses (until she told me not to waste any more money:(), help around the house a fair amount, ask "what can I do to help" (her response some times is "can't you see for your self"), before she comes home from Germany, I clean the whole house as best as possible (ref. microwave) when does get home, she cleans again...and tells me not to waste my time. Frustrating.




This is the end game. At some point in time, soon, she will need to go back to take care of her parents. We are working with her job (virtual travel agent) so she can work over there. I told her when this happens, we will need to divorce. I do not and can not live in Germany unless I sell my business.

She makes OK money (vastly under paid in my view) and has nice health benefits, which I don't. If I pay all the bills, and she is in Germany, she will be fine.

Again, will seek an attorney and thanks again.

[bevischief]

F a midget yet bevis?

Not yet...ROFL

[SAUTO]

Separate bedrooms should have told you everything you need to know

[SAUTO]

Above all, divorce with and without kids is totally different and should be treated as such. That said:

What does "being in love" even mean? Honestly: marriage is a partnership. A financial and legal partnership above all else. Normally to raise productive children. Being "in love" is way down the list no?

There are 4 good reasons to divorce, the 4 "A's": Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, Addictions. Not being in love seems to be flimsy to me. if I wasn't in love with my better half I wouldn't be with her.

I don't need a partnership. It's not a business. But she happens to be my business partner also. We are in the same place over 90% of the time I would say.


If I didn't love her she probably wouldn't be alive, ROFL.

Not serious, but maybe lol

[Anyong Bluth]

Separate bedrooms should have told you everything you need to know
Not true. Buying into "what should be" based upon other's idea of a relationship or you see on TV is equally bad in poisoning a relationship with expectations and a sense of missing or failure.

Separate bedrooms used to be quite normal. It could be an indicator of problems or simply 2 people who have a sleeping arrangement so they both can get a good night's rest.

He already said he has snoring problems. If the other person is a light sleeper, and most nights is disturbed and woken up, do you think that might not result in them being more cranky if they are woken up night after night?

[The Franchise]

Separate bedrooms should have told you everything you need to know

My parents sleep in separate bedrooms and they've been married for over 40 years. My Mom can't sleep with my Dad's snoring....so my Dad moved into a different room so she could.

[SAUTO]

Not true. Buying into "what should be" based upon other's idea of a relationship or you see on TV is equally bad in poisoning a relationship with expectations and a sense of missing or failure.

Separate bedrooms used to be quite normal. It could be an indicator of problems or simply 2 people who have a sleeping arrangement so they both can get a good night's rest.

He already said he has snoring problems. If the other person is a light sleeper, and most nights is disturbed and woken up, do you think that might not result in them being more cranky if they are woken up night after night?

I understand.

What I meant was that would have told me it was over.

[Halfcan]

if I wasn't in love with my better half I wouldn't be with her.

I don't need a partnership. It's not a business. But she happens to be my business partner also. We are in the same place over 90% of the time I would say.


If I didn't love her she probably wouldn't be alive, ROFL.

Not serious, but maybe lol

You should have her post for you as well-I am sure she is not as ignorant as you.

[SAUTO]

You should have her post for you as well-I am sure she is not as ignorant as you.

ROFL.

Good one.


Who came up with it? Your tweaker girlfriend or her husband?

[Prison Bitch]

if I wasn't in love with my better half I wouldn't be with her.

I don't need a partnership. It's not a business. But she happens to be my business partner also. We are in the same place over 90% of the time I would say.


If I didn't love her she probably wouldn't be alive, ROFL.

Not serious, but maybe lol

I wasn't saying you don't deserve love or that you don't have to give love. I'm referring to the mature kind of love that's patient, and who helps the spouse through a life threatening illness or calamities in the extended family, and goes to funerals and baptisms and that stuff - not 2 love birds batting eyes at each other and kissing in public constantly.


If a couple has both aspects, great! But marriages can and do survive with mature love even if the teen, heart pounding stuff is long gone

[SAUTO]

I wasn't saying you don't deserve love or that you don't have to give love. I'm referring to the mature kind of love that's patient, and who helps the spouse through a life threatening illness or calamities in the extended family, and goes to funerals and baptisms and that stuff - not 2 love birds batting eyes at each other and kissing in public constantly.


If a couple has both aspects, great! But marriages can and do survive with mature love even if the teen, heart pounding stuff is long gone
But that's not really what you said...

[Prison Bitch]

I guess id just ask you what you think when someone says "we're in love!"

Which type of love - as I contrasted - comes to mind first?

[Spott]

If you can come to a mutual agreement on everything and write up the terms yourself, you will both save a ton of money on the divorce. If you argue over anything, then lawyers get involved and everyone ends up pissing away a bunch of money and the attorneys make out like bandits.

I was extremely lucky and was able to do my divorce this way, so the whole thing ended up costing a couple of hundred bucks in filing fees and that was it.

[Holladay]

He already said he has snoring problems. If the other person is a light sleeper, and most nights is disturbed and woken up, do you think that might not result in them being more cranky if they are woken up night after night?]

I just found out that I have Sleep Apnia. I got the results back from the sleep lab. I wake up 79 times per hour. I will get more info later. I guess they want to run some more tests. BTW, they have a test you can take at home in your own bed. Now I know why I am so tired all the time. I had attributed to age/weight (5'9" 185 lbs), lack of activity.

I will cross post this on the Sleep Apnia thread.

[Abba-Dabba]

if I wasn't in love with my better half I wouldn't be with her.

I don't need a partnership. It's not a business. But she happens to be my business partner also. We are in the same place over 90% of the time I would say.


If I didn't love her she probably wouldn't be alive, ROFL.

Not serious, but maybe lol

So many things come before love in a healthy long term successful relationship IMO.

Compromise, compassion, accepting their faults, respect. We could go on and on. Point is, you can love the the person all you want. If you can't accept the person for their faults. Because we all have them. If you can't compromise with that person. If you can't have compassion for them. If you have a lack of respect for them. That love will only last so long.

[SAUTO]

So many things come before love in a healthy long term successful relationship IMO.

Compromise, compassion, accepting their faults, respect. We could go on and on. Point is, you can love the the person all you want. If you can't accept the person for their faults. Because we all have them. If you can't compromise with that person. If you can't have compassion for them. If you have a lack of respect for them. That love will only last so long.
All true.

The post I was responding to basically acted as though love didn't matter, it's a partnership.

Loving someone helps with the compromising, compassion, and respecting when you're with them day in and day out for years.

[Prison Bitch]

So many things come before love in a healthy long term successful relationship IMO.

Compromise, compassion, accepting their faults, respect. We could go on and on. Point is, you can love the the person all you want. If you can't accept the person for their faults. Because we all have them. If you can't compromise with that person. If you can't have compassion for them. If you have a lack of respect for them. That love will only last so long.

Yep. It's why there are so many divorces: people think marriage is about that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet, or the first kiss or early passion. It's. Not. "But the love is gone man!" That always means they feel no spark - but love is usually still there if they seek it.


If you took 2 common phrases and asked people what their first impressions are, what would they be:

1) We're in love
2) I love my wife

[bevischief]

It comes do to this are you happy? So make a decision and go with it. Check around on costs. Life is too short. Be happy.

[Rain Man]

If you can come to a mutual agreement on everything and write up the terms yourself, you will both save a ton of money on the divorce. If you argue over anything, then lawyers get involved and everyone ends up pissing away a bunch of money and the attorneys make out like bandits.

I was extremely lucky and was able to do my divorce this way, so the whole thing ended up costing a couple of hundred bucks in filing fees and that was it.

That's impressive. I always thought something like this seemed possible, but I hadn't heard about anyone pulling it off. Maybe we only tend to hear about the combative divorces and not the easy ones.

And Holladay, sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you can achieve a quick and painless solution.

[SAUTO]

I will say this thread has made me thankful for what I have.


Thanks guys.

[Spott]

That's impressive. I always thought something like this seemed possible, but I hadn't heard about anyone pulling it off. Maybe we only tend to hear about the combative divorces and not the easy ones.

And Holladay, sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you can achieve a quick and painless solution.

From what I've heard from most other people that have gotten divorced, I was extremely lucky. My divorce cost me less than $300, involved no attorneys and was completed within 2 months of filing.

[Buehler445]

Sorry to hear this. I think you know from our conversations about business that my approach is to take care of business. Don't half ass stuff especially when it comes to the whole of your assets.

Good luck bud. All the best.

I will say this thread has made me thankful for what I have.


Thanks guys.

Hear hear.

[MikeTate]

watch "Divorce Corp", it must help

[Dave Lane]

ROFL.

Good one.


Who came up with it? Your tweaker girlfriend or her husband?

Halfcan is dumber than a mud fence.

[Lzen]

Lots of interesting opinions in this thread. Some good advice, too. I agree with some who suggest you try to work on the marriage first in most situations. However, that may not be possible in this situation. It sounds like the thread starter has already made up his mind and has one foot out the door. Good luck, bud. I hope this works out well for you.

And Jason, I'm with you, man. I'm very thankful for the good Lord blessing me with my life partner, my wonderful wife. :thumb:

[Halfcan]

Halfcan is dumber than a mud fence.

Wow that is amazing smack talk. Did you have to Google that or did you come up with that on your own? :rolleyes:

[Prison Bitch]

I will say this thread has made me thankful for what I have.


Thanks guys.

More than likely, from everything I've seen in life, you had a hand in creating your own good environment. Guys who say "Man, I'm sorry bro, I musta got lucky" almost always tend to be better spouses.

[Inspector]

Good luck! Hope it works out well for you.

Known folks over the years who have gone through this and still have scars, but they still had small children which makes it worse. Glad yours are, at least, not babies. That will help that part.

Hang in there. Time cures.

(Oh, and I get moot and mute confused at times. Shit happens.)

[Chief Pote]

Halfcan is dumber than a mud fence.

Pictures of the mud fence or it didn't happen.

[BigRichard]

When I first read the thread title I thought you were looking for some cock.

[Rasputin]

My second wife would nag about folding clothes. I worked for a uniform company delivering work clothes for a living I didn't want to fucking fold clothes when I got home from work. Anyways when I did fold clothes it wasn't ever good enough so one day I folded them all into triangles like the American flag. She laughed I laughed good times.

We ended up getting a divorce on line she did most of it didn't hang me out to dry was a clean break and we became good friends sense.

[TimBone]

When I first read the thread title I thought you were looking for some cock.
I don't think that's been completely ruled out. Just wants to handle the big D before he handles some big D.

[Rasputin]

I don't think that's been completely ruled out. Just wants to handle the big D before he handles some big D.


Then this is a thread for DenverChief to help out & or give advice.



I'm bailing out.

Edit: Nttawwt

[Prison Bitch]

I don't think that's been completely ruled out. Just wants to handle the big D before he handles some big D.

I'm headed for the Big D I don't mean Dallas. Or divorce. :D

[Garcia Bronco]

Why do people get into legal contracts over love with the opposite sex? I don't get it. It just seems like a bad idea. Sure when it works, it works (statiscally low). No further explanation is required. But when marriage doesn't work...oh man...it could wreck the rest of your life.

[ptlyon]

I'm thinking he needs some double D's

[Amnorix]

Why do people get into legal contracts over love with the opposite sex? I don't get it. It just seems like a bad idea. Sure when it works, it works (statiscally low). No further explanation is required. But when marriage doesn't work...oh man...it could wreck the rest of your life.


Full of wrong. First, more than 50% of marriages do NOT end in divorce.

Second, the commitment to a lifetime partnership is important to many, and leads to security, happiness, comfort and reassurance where the marriage is successful.

Third, there are certain legal rights and benefits which come automatically with marriage which are otherwise not available at all, or only come by spending money (and a fair bit of it, depending on circumstances) on lawyers.

Relationships can always go wrong. But if you have kids with someone, whether you're married to them or not, it can "wreck the rest of your life", if you have a negative, pessimistic attitude about it.

[Prison Bitch]

I'm thinking he needs some double D's

A gay threesome?

[Garcia Bronco]

Full of wrong. First, more than 50% of marriages do NOT end in divorce.

Second, the commitment to a lifetime partnership is important to many, and leads to security, happiness, comfort and reassurance where the marriage is successful.

Third, there are certain legal rights and benefits which come automatically with marriage which are otherwise not available at all, or only come by spending money (and a fair bit of it, depending on circumstances) on lawyers.

Relationships can always go wrong. But if you have kids with someone, whether you're married to them or not, it can "wreck the rest of your life", if you have a negative, pessimistic attitude about it.

Divorce rates may be on the decline, but marriage has been on the decline since the 1980's. Meaning less people are getting married. Marriage may promote security and happiness, but that dismisses the emotional detriment of getting rejected or ejected from a marriage. AS far as legal rights, there should be no legal rights to getting married. While those rights are probably instilled to promote families in the US, those rights could violate equal protection of those that do not get married. It other words, it's bullshit to give someone special treatment because they get married.

[ptlyon]

It other words, it's bullshit to give someone special treatment because they get married.

Yet they do. Taxes.

[ptlyon]

A gay threesome?

I wasn't going that way with it, but whatever lights your wick.

[Garcia Bronco]

Yet they do. Taxes.

I haven't looked, but I'll bet it has never been challenged. Perhaps Amo can tell us. The homosexual population in this country could certainly challenge it, but it appears they have opted to get into the marriage game.

[ptlyon]

I haven't looked, but I'll bet it has never been challenged. Perhaps Amo can tell us. The homosexual population in this country could certainly challenge it, but it appears they have opted to get into the marriage game.

For instance after my mother died. The next full year after she was gone dad asked me, "How do you single people pay all these taxes?". I told him it's worth it.

[vailpass]

Divorce rates may be on the decline, but marriage has been on the decline since the 1980's. Meaning less people are getting married. Marriage may promote security and happiness, but that dismisses the emotional detriment of getting rejected or ejected from a marriage. AS far as legal rights, there should be no legal rights to getting married. While those rights are probably instilled to promote families in the US, those rights could violate equal protection of those that do not get married. It other words, it's bullshit to give someone special treatment because they get married.

Our country has long deemed it beneficial to society to encourage and reward the formation and sustenance of the family unit.
The stable family unit was seen as the foundation upon which to build a successful populace.
Tax incentives for married couples are part of that.
But you knew that.

[bdj23]

When i was doing online dating, all the sites had the same women on them.

Go the free route. No need to waste money on them.

[burt]

My ex and I used a mediator. Was easy. She got all the stuff....I never paid alimony or child support(she had one kid, I had the other) Time went by...I had both the kids. Easy peasy. Lawyers aren't needed unless it gets nasty, and Holladay has one in his pocket if needed. Just be thankful the spark is out on BOTH sides. I was pretty screwed up for numerous years because I dearly loved her. 5-6(?) years later....I wanna get him a case of beer and a hand written thank you note for taking her off my hands!!! Did miss several years with our 2 dogs that she kept...couldn't bear to separate them. Both passed last year. And at 56, there is no lack of fish in the sea...but avoid them if they smell like fish....

[Spott]

Divorce rates may be on the decline, but marriage has been on the decline since the 1980's. Meaning less people are getting married. Marriage may promote security and happiness, but that dismisses the emotional detriment of getting rejected or ejected from a marriage. AS far as legal rights, there should be no legal rights to getting married. While those rights are probably instilled to promote families in the US, those rights could violate equal protection of those that do not get married. It other words, it's bullshit to give someone special treatment because they get married.

The tax breaks for married people are based on households that are basically a thing of the past now. 30-40 years ago households typically had a stay at home parent and one person that typically made all the money, so the tax breaks were beneficial for the head of the household that was earning money to support multiple people. Nowadays, everyone works yet they still give married couples tax breaks. I agree that it is bullshit to give them tax breaks over single people.

[patteeu]

The tax breaks for married people are based on households that are basically a thing of the past now. 30-40 years ago households typically had a stay at home parent and one person that typically made all the money, so the tax breaks were beneficial for the head of the household that was earning money to support multiple people. Nowadays, everyone works yet they still give married couples tax breaks. I agree that it is bullshit to give them tax breaks over single people.

Nowadays, some married couples get a tax break, but others suffer a penalty. If you have a marriage in the more traditional form, where one person earns the majority of the income, you still get a break. If both make about the same income, it often ends up being worse than if both file as single. Here's an article about it. (http://taxfoundation.org/article/understanding-marriage-penalty-and-marriage-bonus) It has some cool graphs showing the distribution of penalty/bonus for couples in different circumstances. Here's one of them:

http://taxfoundation.org/sites/taxfoundation.org/files/docs/FF464_charts_2.png

[Holladay]

Talked last night. Quite agreeable. We(she) needs to keep up appearances through May. Her parents and nephew are coming to stay awhile. I ok with that.

We need to get answers on her working in Germany. If that is possible, and it should, she moves back to her home and take care of her parents and works. No kids makes it much easier.

I haven't yet gone into details that you all have provided with her yet. The situation is not out of control...just (from her admission) doesn't love me and I have tried hard enough that in the end, don't love her either....best friends = yes.

[Holladay]

OK.

Who is a KS Attorney.

Send me a PM

[sedated]

I never imagined a German could be so cutthroat

[Simply Red]

LEAVE this HORRIBLE lady!

[Mike in SW-MO]

I guess things went south since last October.

[Holladay]

Ya. Tried. Took a vacation to Yellowstone (which I haven't reported on...yet) and was good except for one night. I am just tried of walking on egg shells, not knowing what action is going to set her off.

I have kept notes from waayy back as an act of catharsis. After re-reading a lot of them, realize this is not going to stop, ever.

Now it is apathy. Thus the attorney.

[BryanBusby]

Yeah dude you should of got out a long time ago

[Buehler445]

Sorry to hear man.

I don't have anything to add, other than watch your ass man. Women can house us men in divorce settlements.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

New strange will invigorate you

[bevischief]

Get out. Was married almost 20 years. Been divorced just over a year. Should have done it 5, 6 years ago. Happiest I been in a long time. Feels like I gained 10 plus years of my life back.

[Eureka]

My neighbors wife left him about 8-9 months ago. They have two kids. He seemed kinda stunned at first but I knew he was lucky she left. She was nasty, mean and overweight. She blamed her problems on him.

Fast forward to the present and he is now "hanging out" with a cute blonde who I met the other day. She is bubbly and seems very sweet. He looks much happier and less stressed. Looks like he lost a few pounds as well. They were talking about going on a road trip with the kids.

Moral of the story is things will get better for you Holladay.

[eDave]

Yea, sorry man.

Congratulations!!!

[bevischief]

Life is too short.

[Ming the Merciless]

probably meatspin.com

[Pitt Gorilla]

Wait, what sort of "D" site are you looking for? NTTIAWWT

[redfan]

Cordell & Cordell. You're welcome.

[vailpass]

Ya. Tried. Took a vacation to Yellowstone (which I haven't reported on...yet) and was good except for one night. I am just tried of walking on egg shells, not knowing what action is going to set her off.

I have kept notes from waayy back as an act of catharsis. After re-reading a lot of them, realize this is not going to stop, ever.

Now it is apathy. Thus the attorney.

Do you have any idea how much fine new pussy is waiting for you out there? Give that bitch the boot and start taking head.

[Chief_For_Life58]

yeah dude do the divorce. You need to enjoy life. If youre not happy why stay married? It sounds like you tried for awhile to work it out. Cut bait, move on man, your kids are old enough it wont effect them. Go enjoy your life man.

[Holladay]

Thanks guys. I think I have some leverage. She has property over in Germany.

I just talked with a local attorney and got some ideas. Now I would like to visit with a BIG BOY attorney for a different view point.

[Holladay]

Done....wife said it should have happened years ago.

Talking to the attorney tomorrow and finalize stuff. Wrinkle is that the In Laws come next May for daughters college graduation and this fall, sister comes for medical treatment. So a place for them to stay. Still keep up the appearances.

Bottom line. After talking to the attorney, tomorrow, have her sign the documents stating such, thus binding.

Divorce is so common place now days. It should be a no biggie. NOT SO.

[RobBlake]

That's kinda the problem that it's no biggie and common place. It is a biggie because of obvious factors. I would have waited for my first marriage but I was dumb and horny lol

[ChiefGator]

Stop trying to keep up appearances, man. You have been doing that for far too long anyway. They are all going to know eventually.

Just get it over with man.. I was so glad when I did.

[TimBone]

Stop trying to keep up appearances, man. You have been doing that for far too long anyway. They are all going to know eventually.

Just get it over with man.. I was so glad when I did.
This was my initial thought when reading that last post from Holladay.

[oldman]

Stop trying to keep up appearances, man. You have been doing that for far too long anyway. They are all going to know eventually.

Just get it over with man.. I was so glad when I did.

This. If I read your post correctly, you're looking at another 7+ months of despair, anger, and, most importantly, not getting any.

[Holladay]

True, all of that. The in-laws will know about all of it...thus why?

I don't want to kick her to the curb. We need to find a place for her to live. A little breathing space/time.

I meet with the attorney, hopefully, Thursday. I will have the papers drawn up.

[Simply Red]

True, all of that. The in-laws will know about all of it...thus why?

I don't want to kick her to the curb. We need to find a place for her to live. A little breathing space/time.

I meet with the attorney, hopefully, Thursday. I will have the papers drawn up.

Fuck 'hanging on' for anything - that's all HER PROBLEM! You sound like your own worst enemy.

[Fish]

True, all of that. The in-laws will know about all of it...thus why?

I don't want to kick her to the curb. We need to find a place for her to live. A little breathing space/time.

I meet with the attorney, hopefully, Thursday. I will have the papers drawn up.

Be careful. That's not your problem anymore, and if you let it be your problem it will drag you down quickly.

[Lzen]

Stop trying to keep up appearances, man. You have been doing that for far too long anyway. They are all going to know eventually.

Just get it over with man.. I was so glad when I did.

Good point. Why try to keep up appearances?

[ChiTown]

Be careful. That's not your problem anymore, and if you let it be your problem it will drag you down quickly.

This - when it's over, cut the ties and walk away, or be willing to be her sucker for the rest of your life.

[Abba-Dabba]

True, all of that. The in-laws will know about all of it...thus why?

I don't want to kick her to the curb. We need to find a place for her to live. A little breathing space/time.

I meet with the attorney, hopefully, Thursday. I will have the papers drawn up.

If they in-laws know all about it, then why the need to keep up appearances?

I understand you don't want to kick her to the curb. But you NEED to kick her to the curb. After the papers have been signed give her 30 days to find a new place to live. Or you find a new place to live.

It's not intended for you to be mean to her. But you need to protect your assets and your sanity. Let her flap her wings elsewhere.

[notorious]

It's sounds like every day is hell. Why put up with it?

What going to happen when she brings home some other dude?

[RobBlake]

If you have no emotional ties to the house and you can get away.. I highly recommend finding yourself a nice Little place suitable for a bachelor. Go out. See shows, be a little messy. Travel. Work out. Sure she was this and that and largely the way you guys broke up was due to her, but you played a role in it too, become a better you. Improve yourself and your mental stability will love you for it

[Simply Red]

If you have no emotional ties to the house and you can get away.. I highly recommend finding yourself a nice Little place suitable for a bachelor. Go out. See shows, be a little messy. Travel. Work out. Sure she was this and that and largely the way you guys broke up was due to her, but you played a role in it too, become a better you. Improve yourself and your mental stability will love you for it

you forgot - Porno

[Simply Red]

slip yourself some date-rape drug and get liquored up - then take off to the town. hey look - NEVER KNOW!!??!?!

[sedated]

If you have no emotional ties to the house and you can get away..

If a husband leaves the house, the wife ends up with it 99% of the time.

[RobBlake]

If a husband leaves the house, the wife ends up with it 99% of the time.

Fuck that.

I only had an apartment so that didn't really play a tole

[Rasputin]

Bachelor life is the simple life

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[Abba-Dabba]

If a husband leaves the house, the wife ends up with it 99% of the time.

And she will pay for the house.

[patteeu]

If a husband leaves the house, the wife ends up with it 99% of the time.

Good warning. :clap:

An even better one is don't take any advice from this message board on momentous moves without running it past your attorney. She starts off with the legal highground by default in a divorce regardless of where the moral high ground lies.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Today is our 31st anniversary. This morning I said to her 25 fucking years. She don't you mean 31 . I said the last 6 years there's been no fucking.

[Buehler445]

Today is our 31st anniversary. This morning I said to her 25 fucking years. She don't you mean 31 . I said the last 6 years there's been no fucking.

ROFL

[Molitoth]

Today is our 31st anniversary. This morning I said to her 25 ****ing years. She don't you mean 31 . I said the last 6 years there's been no ****ing.

lol.

Whenever my wife doesn't put out, I start introducing her as my "roommate".
This pisses her off, but eventually gets the job done. :D

[sedated]

And she will pay for the house.

With help from his wallet

[kepp]

**** 'hanging on' for anything - that's all HER PROBLEM! You sound like your own worst enemy.

This, dude. I've been through divorce and if you allow it, she will "hang on" in perpetuity and still manage to suck the life out of you. Make as clean a break as you can.

[Abba-Dabba]

With help from his wallet

Not a given. Kids are grown, correct? She is employed and has been for a long period of time. What is the need for financial support?

[Iconic]

How do you guys let yourself get into a sexless marriage. Set clear boundaries and let it be known that's not something you'll accept- ever.

[Reerun_KC]

How do you guys let yourself get into a sexless marriage. Set clear boundaries and let it be known that's not something you'll accept- ever.



25+ years and the Mrs and I have a solid healthy sex life. Once every 3-4 days usually keeps everyone happy.


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[Simply Red]

25+ years and the Mrs and I have a solid healthy sex life. Once every 3-4 days usually keeps everyone happy.


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I wish you'd sex me

[ChiTown]

I wish you'd sex me

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[Hog's Gone Fishin]

lol.

Whenever my wife doesn't put out, I start introducing her as my "roommate".
This pisses her off, but eventually gets the job done. :D

I should give that a try. I figured if I'd just start rubbing one out at the dining table it might get her attention.

[Calcountry]

Man, thanks for your thoughts.

She is a great "business partner/family manager" with a sharp german tongue! With the kids gone...don't think I need that anymore. I was fantizing about finding another girl with "match.com". Boy, I was gonna be restrictive...that prolly would blow me outta the water from the start. lol.

But the new ADVENTURE. I haven't had that for 25 yrs.

I'm thinking, she knows what is going on. She has a bunch of assets in Germany. 50/50. She doesn't want to loss those. I don't want them. Kids gone...easy. Show her the online docs...discuss..sign.

If she pulls a Linda Blair (Exorcist for you youngsters...nice tits btw), do the attorney route.

Again, she has assets, thats the leverage.

There is no affair (other dude or duddette for me...yet), just fallen out of love.

She has expecting me to have talked to the attorney. Even has said "well, what did the attorney say".

This should be fine. I just wanted some CP ideas. If you hear of mutil gun shot deaths in lil Hiawatha, you will know it didn't go as planned. BIG JOKE. some CPer's are gonna freak. hheheh
Match sucks dude. You should read the profiles of some of these chicks. They want mr perfect AND do the dishes.

[Calcountry]

Walk away fast. Don't look back. Give her what she wants. Easier. No regrets. Just get out.Whatever you do, don't make the attorneys rich.

If the two of you can do a deal, do a deal.

[Calcountry]

Do whatever you can to reconcile. That's my advice

Great advice if she will go along with it.

[Calcountry]

Above all, divorce with and without kids is totally different and should be treated as such. That said:

What does "being in love" even mean? Honestly: marriage is a partnership. A financial and legal partnership above all else. Normally to raise productive children. Being "in love" is way down the list no?

There are 4 good reasons to divorce, the 4 "A's": Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, Addictions. Not being in love seems to be flimsy to me.
I had 3 of the 4 covered when the papers were served, she was in rehab and couldn't appear.