Tonight I watched my brother-in-law die

[Lex Luthor]

Tonight was a horrible, horrible night. My wife's brother has been in the hospital for a little over a week. This morning my wife got the call we had been fearing would come: his condition had deteriorated so much that he would never regain consciousness. He was being kept alive with a feeding tube and a ventilator, and several of his organs had shut down. The doctor said the family needs to decide if they should pull the plug.

My wife and I went to the hospital this evening along with her other brother and his wife. Just before we got there a priest had finished performing last rites. The doctor confirmed what we had been told earlier: there was no hope for recovery. He said if they took off the ventilator, he would pass away within a few minutes. He asked what we wanted to do. After much anguish and soul-searching, we agreed that he should be taken off the ventilator.

My wife and her brother were too distraught to stay in the room. They went to a waiting room. My sister-in-law and I stayed with him until the end. We watched as the nurse took off the ventilator mask that was covering his nose and mouth. We watched our brother-in-law begin to gasp for air. My sister-in-law held his hand the entire time, and we both told him that we all love him and that it's OK to let go. He was unconscious the entire time. I saw his eyelids flutter once, but they stayed closed the rest of the time. This went on for about 20 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. He stopped breathing several times. Then he would gasp for air and it would all start over again. Then he finally stopped gasping for air for the last time. The nurse had turned off the monitor, so there was no flatline like you see on TV. There was just silence. Finally the nurse walked in and told us he had passed. She had been watching on the monitor at the nurse's station.

It's been several hours. I still cry when I think about it. I'm crying like a baby right now. He died of a drug overdose. He was 52.

[Simply Red]

so sorry bud.

[KS Smitty]

So very sorry to read this. Hold each other tight, sympathies to all.

[Simply Red]

addiction is a cunt.

[threebag]

Prayers to your family.

[Rain Man]

I'm sorry to hear. That's a tough situation for everyone involved.

[Bwana]

I've been where you were at and it sucks, my condolences.

[listopencil]

Get your wife into counseling. You're probably going to need it too. Make the appointment. Talk to her over the weekend and ask her if she wants to do it together or separately.

[Al Czervik]

Much sympathy to you, your wife, and family.
Been there.....RIP to your BIL

[DaFace]

Sorry to hear, man. Hang in there.

[thabear04]

Damn sorry to hear this sad news.

[KCCHIEFS27]

Sympathy for addiction is much deserved. I wish everybody could get the help they need to push through and find happiness in the world. I hope you and your family find peace! I know for a fact that deep down he was a good person. I'm sorry!!

[kc rush]

Prayers for you and your family

[Iowanian]

Sorry to hear that.

[DaNewGuy]

First off I'm so fucking sorry I really am, I watched my dad take his last breathes and get hauled off and that's that, not a drug overdose and I'm truly sorry he couldn't kick his addiction, don't know ya but I'm sending so much love your way lex

[stevieray]

I've seen drugs destroy many a good people.

Godspeed to you and your family.

[EPodolak]

Such a difficult time, I wish you and your family comfort as you move forward.

[DanT]

that's very sad...prayers for you and your family

[Buns]

Sorry to hear this, my condolences to you and your family

[Hamwallet]

Man... I hope your family finds some peace in these terrible times.

[Perineum Ripper]

So very sorry to hear this..stay strong..if you need to talk you can message me

[eDave]

Heartbreaking Lex. Glad you were able to talk about it here.

[Dallas Chief]

Sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family...

[PhillyChiefFan]

Wow, that was a heartbreaking story man. My condolences.

[dannybcaitlyn]

I feel for you and your family. Condolences

[BlackHelicopters]

Prayers to your family and you, LL.

[TEX]

Prayers. I've experienced a loss like that. It's very hard to deal with because its so senseless, but in time you will find ways to deal with it.

[Coochie liquor]

Wow, that really sucks. Addiction is a mother fucker. Prayers and positive vibes coming your way my brotha. I've had to deal with addiction problems not only myself but family members also. It's never easy. Bless up!!

[rico]

Sorry to hear, man.

[Marcellus]

Thats brutal. Sorry to hear that man.

[HemiEd]

So sorry to hear Lex, life truly sucks sometimes. I was the one with my BIL a year and half ago when he passed. Prayers to you and your family.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Prayers sent for you and your family.

[Dayze]

shit man.

sorry to hear.

[cabletech94]

i can't imagine what you are going through. so sorry for you loss. prayers for you and yours.

[tmax63]

Thoughts and prayers on your loss. Death is a part of life but it always seems to come way too soon.

[Dunit35]

Sorry to hear brother. Watched my step dad pass away. Never told him I loved him for the 15 years I knew him. Told him while he was in the hospital. He could barely speak but I understood what he said and I'll never forget it. It was his last words. He passed a couple hours later of a brain tumor.

[Katipan]

I'm so very sorry Lex...

Therapy is good... But I didn't particularly like to listen to someone tell me it wasn't my fault. Like fault has anything to do with it. ❤

[Msmith]

I am so sorry for your loss. May God give the family grace and strength.

[Chief_For_Life58]

Damn man I'm sorry your family had to go thru that. Rip

[displacedinMN]

Prayers are with you. My wife was there when her mom died. I am glad I was not there when my mom died. I am not sure I could do that.

When my mother in law died-her brother, the English professor, wrote an incredible personal eulogy for her. I decided then that everyone should go out that way. I did the one for my dad.

If someone can do that for him it may help.

[Shawny2X4]

My condolences, Man.

[Tacoman]

Very sorry to hear about this turn of events :(. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today. Tragic

[O.city]

So sorry for your loss.

[SAUTO]

Sorry for your family's loss

[burt]

Words are empty, but condolences....prayers said for the family!

[Kman34]

Sorry for your loss... I have found that no matter what's going on on CP we come together for one of our own if they need support... Prayers sent to you and your family..

[wazu]

Sorry, Lex. Been there. It's brutal. You never forget. Good on you for staying and for talking him through it.

[Lonewolf Ed]

That was horrible. My prayers are with you and your family.

[vailpass]

Condolences to your family and respect to you for being in that room until the end.

[Fish]

Condolences to you and your family.

[redshirt32]

Sorry Lex ive been in the same spot with my 2nd wife. Kids were 18 and 19 at the time one did not have mom at highschool graduation a month later. I freaked out i was mad as hell at everyone, but waiting is a very inhumane and worse thing ever to go through.
Time is all that heals but you never forget

[NWTF]

My condolences.

[Bowser]

Terrible. So sorry you had to witness that, but good on you for being with him until the end. You hang in there, man.

[PHOG]

My condolences. So sorry.

[Pushead2]

That's just heart-breaking. Condolences and sympathy to you and your family.

[BigRedChief]

Tonight was a horrible, horrible night. My wife's brother has been in the hospital for a little over a week. This morning my wife got the call we had been fearing would come: his condition had deteriorated so much that he would never regain consciousness. He was being kept alive with a feeding tube and a ventilator, and several of his organs had shut down. The doctor said the family needs to decide if they should pull the plug.

My wife and I went to the hospital this evening along with her other brother and his wife. Just before we got there a priest had finished performing last rites. The doctor confirmed what we had been told earlier: there was no hope for recovery. He said if they took off the ventilator, he would pass away within a few minutes. He asked what we wanted to do. After much anguish and soul-searching, we agreed that he should be taken off the ventilator.

My wife and her brother were too distraught to stay in the room. They went to a waiting room. My sister-in-law and I stayed with him until the end. We watched as the nurse took off the ventilator mask that was covering his nose and mouth. We watched our brother-in-law begin to gasp for air. My sister-in-law held his hand the entire time, and we both told him that we all love him and that it's OK to let go. He was unconscious the entire time. I saw his eyelids flutter once, but they stayed closed the rest of the time. This went on for about 20 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. He stopped breathing several times. Then he would gasp for air and it would all start over again. Then he finally stopped gasping for air for the last time. The nurse had turned off the monitor, so there was no flatline like you see on TV. There was just silence. Finally the nurse walked in and told us he had passed. She had been watching on the monitor at the nurse's station.

It's been several hours. I still cry when I think about it. I'm crying like a baby right now. He died of a drug overdose. He was 52.Sorry about your loss. There is nothing you or the family could have done better or to change the outcome once it devolved to that situation.

I took people off ventilators at least twice a week for 10 years. Saw how the loved ones left behind were forced to deal with the tragedy. It never got easier. You want to talk or anything, let me know.

[scho63]

Sorry for your loss and prayers to you and your family.

Drugs are horrific.

[bevischief]

I had to do it for both of my parents it sucks. But it does get better.

[Pogue]

Sorry to hear lex. Thoughts are with you and your family.

[mlyonsd]

Sorry about your loss Lex. Thoughts and prayers your way.

[alpha_omega]

Prayers to all.

That had to be an anguishing 20 mins for you.

[Chief Roundup]

Sorry for your families loss.

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[WilliamTheIrish]

Like others LL, I've been through the death of loved ones more than I care to remember. It just leaves you numb.

In my own personal situation, I rely on remembering the best times. It helps me. I hope you can find some comfort as you work through this.

[Tombstone RJ]

I'm very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

[oaklandhater]

Sorry for your loss death sucks :(

[KChiefs1]

Watched my mom die like that.

Prayers to you & your family.


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[Buehler445]

Sorry for the loss man, prayers.

Fuck drugs.

[Hydrae]

Nothing I can add that hasn't already been said. Prayers and thoughts for the entire family.

[seclark]

tragic...no words can be said.
thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
sec

[digger]

Sorry to hear. Prayers to you and your family.

[Dylan]

So sad.

May God be with you and your family at this most difficult time. ...

[Rasputin]

Prayers. Did the right thing.


Reminds me of taking Mom off ventilator and what ever machine was keeping her alive in October of 1991 :(
(fuck cancer)


Extra prayers for you and your wife to hold it together tonight and stay strong for her.

[Groves]

What was his name?

I'm sorry.

[Lex Luthor]

What was his name?

I'm sorry.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. It's been a brutal week, but it will get better.

His name was James.

[KCJake]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hate drugs
:(