Child Support

[MTG#10]

An MTG life thread. Been awhile, but looking for some advice and what better place to ask? And no this one isnt a "trolling attention whore" version.

In all my life threads from the past the children I referred to were my youngest three, the ones I ultimately got full custody of and live with me now 75+% of the year. But I also have an older son with a different woman that I don't believe Ive mentioned much.

He is 19, has a good job with better health insurance than me and has had his own pad since late June. Ive tried to talk him many times into enrolling full-time or at least taking some college courses but he wants no part of it. His excuse is he's making good money, doesn't hate his job and doesn't want student loans to repay. I'm hoping he eventually changes his mind but for now its made up.

The way the child support laws work in MO from what Ive learned is if a child has either become self-providing OR hasn't enrolled into some kind of higher education by Oct 1st following their high school graduation child support is to be terminated. He fits both of these categories.

I kept paying anyway assuming his mom was giving him the money but he hasn't seen a dime since he moved out. So shortly after Oct 1st I mailed in the document needed to terminate support and checked both boxes. They then are supposed to mail his mother a notice and she has 30 days from the day she receives it to either accept or challenge.

She knows this and has been deliberately sending it back marking "this person doesn't live here anymore" on the envelope. She did move once but I found out her new address and even after they sent it to her there she did the same thing. She knows that I have to keep paying until she gets this letter because the termination order cant be completed until the process plays out. She told my son this and was basically bragging about it. This woman has been scamming the system for food stamps and medicaid her entire adult life and has never had a job longer than a few months but that's another story.

It is now mid-Dec and for the third time the MO support division has told me they received the letter back and there's nothing they can do until they "find her". Ive asked them to have it sent certified and even offered to pay to have her served the letter by a Sheriff but they said "they dont do that." :rolleyes:

Anyone ever been through anything similar to this, or do any of our Planet attorneys have any advice they could give?

[TimBone]

Quit sticking your dick in crazy.

[ptlyon]

Since you know her new address you should show up one day and cut her tits off

[ptlyon]

Quit sticking your dick in crazy.

And this

[Dayze]

take her to court?

not sure what that would cost though. I would think if she's dodging a letter, that a notice to appear would light a fire. then ask for the money back that you paid since Oct 1.

[The Franchise]

What happens if you stop paying? Does the child support office take it upon themselves? Or does she have to start the process?

[MTG#10]

take her to court?

not sure what that would cost though. I would think if she's dodging a letter, that a notice to appear would light a fire. then ask for the money back that you paid since Oct 1.

We never went to court, he was born when I was 18 and I didnt contest anything. Since the support order was started by the MO Division of Child Support Enforcement and not by a judge, that's who I have to deal with. And I dont really have the money to hire an attorney and go that route anyway.

[Skyy God]

You need a process server.

PM me if you want a rec.

[MTG#10]

What happens if you stop paying? Does the child support office take it upon themselves? Or does she have to start the process? Then I fall behind. They told me I have to keep paying until the process plays out or they'll start garnishing my wages and keep my upcoming tax return. Its BS.

[scho63]

You need a process server.

PM me if you want a rec.

Correct answer :clap:

[rico]

Holy shit, I can go on forever about this, but only have my phone on me right now..this would be a "laptop needed" post for me.

I don't personally owe or pay child support, but have a ton of experience assisting someone close to me who does pay it and has had tons of issues with it in terms of the technicalities and order of operations regarding certain issues pertaining to it. There are SO MANY things in regards to child support that aren't only flawed, but just straight fucked up bullshit. I fucking despise many components of child support...I can't imagine how badly I'd hate it if I actually had to pay it.

You are likely going to have to consult an attorney.

I am rooting for you.

[rico]

take her to court?

not sure what that would cost though. I would think if she's dodging a letter, that a notice to appear would light a fire. then ask for the money back that you paid since Oct 1.

It depends on whether or not his baby-momma hired an attorney as well... if so, and if the attorneys have a personal relationship (which is likely), they will milk it... May end up being in the $2500 range...may end up being in the $5k-7k range.

[stumppy]

Probably going to have to get a process server.

[ptlyon]

and if the attorneys have a personal relationship (which is likely)

Blow jobs go a long way

[rico]

Blow jobs go a long way

Haha I phrased that incorrectly. Should have said, "strong past working relationship" although many do have personal relationships...lotta attorneys who are "competitors," with each other while simultaneously golf buddies on the side.

Blow jobs probably have cum a long way in certain cases.

[ptlyon]

Haha I phrased that incorrectly. Should have said, "strong past working relationship" although many do have personal relationships...lotta attorneys who are "competitors," with each other while simultaneously golf buddies on the side.

Blow jobs probably have cum a long way in certain cases.

Totally misread that :doh!:

Thought you meant if she had a personal relationship with the attorney. My bad. :shake:

[rico]

Totally misread that :doh:

Thought you meant if she had a personal relationship with the attorney. My bad. :shake:

LMAO, Nah, you didn't misread it...I misphrased it.

[DJ's left nut]

You need a process server.

PM me if you want a rec.

Correct answer :clap:

Probably going to have to get a process server.

Most Missouri counties also have a sheriff service process you can utilize (in fact, all of them that I'm aware of).

The Sheriff isn't going to put it high on his list of things to do, but you'll be surprised how many people are pretty savvy about ducking an SPS but stop fucking around when the sheriff knocks on the door.

[ptlyon]

I can see Cave Johnson looking like the PI that served the papers to Navin Johnson in The Jerk

[Halfcan]

We never went to court, he was born when I was 18 and I didnt contest anything. Since the support order was started by the MO Division of Child Support Enforcement and not by a judge, that's who I have to deal with. And I dont really have the money to hire an attorney and go that route anyway.

You need to figure out how to get the money and get an attorney-it is going to be expensive. You will have to take her back to the court that ordered it in the first place and get it removed.

If you just stop paying they will still count it like you owe until it is removed. This has happened to a couple of my friends and they got fucked hard. The courts are all in favor of the women in Missouri.

You could hire a process server from the court to have them deliver the certified letter to your ex. That might count and save you from having to go to court. Its worth a shot. Good luck.

[Skyy God]

I can see Cave Johnson looking like the PI that served the papers to Navin Johnson in The Jerk

I look nothing like M. Emmet Walsh.

[Spott]

Have them change the address to yours, then just forge her signature and send it back to the state.

[ptlyon]

I look nothing like M. Emmet Walsh.

I stand corrected

[DJ's left nut]

Have them change the address to yours, then just forge her signature and send it back to the state.

Let me be the first to suggest that you NOT do this.

The easy (and prompt) ass-whupin' that would follow when she drags your ass in for contempt would not be pleasant.

Forging court documents is not a wise decision.

[ptlyon]

Let me be the first to suggest that you NOT do this.

The easy (and prompt) ass-whupin' that would follow when she drags your ass in for contempt would not be pleasant.

Forging court documents is not a wise decision.

That's why I like the cutting of her tits off idea so much

[jettio]

Since the mother is playing games, dealing with the state agency is less effective than going to court. If the case was ever at the courthouse, your county would probably have you file it under the same case number.

Fill out this document.

https://www.courts.mo.gov/file.jsp?id=639

File it at the county courthouse.

If you had a case at courthouse before that did paternity, custody and visitation, your county would probably have you file it under same case number.

May have a small filing fee and pay service costs that sheriff charges. You might want your son to be at mom's ready to answer door and accept papers when the sheriff comes by.

You should get started now and ask court for repayment back to you of child support since October 1st or, alternatively, date of you filing affidavit.

[jettio]

Since the mother is playing games, dealing with the state agency is less effective than going to court. If the case was ever at the courthouse, your county would probably have you file it under the same case number.

Fill out this document.

https://www.courts.mo.gov/file.jsp?id=639

File it at the county courthouse.

If you had a case at courthouse before that did paternity, custody and visitation, your county would probably have you file it under same case number.

May have a small filing fee and pay service costs that sheriff charges. You might want your son to be at mom's ready to answer door and accept papers when the sheriff comes by.

You should get started now and ask court for repayment back to you of child support since October 1st or, alternatively, date of you filing affidavit.

Oops, you might be stuck with the agency after reading your post a little closer and reviewing the statute.

I think you should always appeal the first agency decision to county court just to get the case under that court's jurisdiction.

Did you ever have a parenting plan and visitation schedule?

[O.city]

Disguise the letter as something else. Like a child support payment that she has to go to the sheriff office to pick up. Then bam, serve her

[ptlyon]

Disguise the letter as something else. Like a child support payment that she has to go to the sheriff office to pick up. Then bam, serve her

Candy gram

[Dayze]

Disguise the letter as something else. Like a child support payment that she has to go to the sheriff office to pick up. Then bam, serve her

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[threebag]

What happens if you stop paying? Does the child support office take it upon themselves? Or does she have to start the process?

Don't stop paying your support, only an asshole or complete dumb shit would think like that.

You are continued to be responsible until motion is signed by judge/agency.

[threebag]

I have my son 100% of the time. I am overpaid $9000 in child support. I get a $50 credit monthly because of the over payment. I still pay $1279 a month less the $50. So a total of $1229 and she hasn't seen or talked to him in months. Basically disappeared except the occasional text when she breaks the text she sent to see him.

[Fish]

Don't quit paying. Look into the options that've been offered already. If you do it by the book and be persistent, there may even be an opportunity later to be reimbursed for overpaying. I got a refund like that in a similar manner and it was pretty sweet...

[MTG#10]

I have my son 100% of the time. I am overpaid $9000 in child support. I get a $50 credit monthly because of the over payment. I still pay $1279 a month less the $50. So a total of $1229 and she hasn't seen or talked to him in months. Basically disappeared except the occasional text when she breaks the text she sent to see him.

You pay $1279/month for one kid in Kansas?

:eek:

You must make 100k+ per year and she makes min wage?

[threebag]

Yeah one kid. I also carry and pay all medical.

[threebag]

It's better than that. She went the same day the court order was set and applied for assistance. I had two lines of child support deduction on my pay stub for one child. Took a while to fix. So i was paying $1279 court order plus $800 to sate of kansas for his assistance KDHE. Thats how i got the overpayed. Her and attorney kept continuing the court dates.

[threebag]

And she never received any repercussions

[jettio]

An MTG life thread. Been awhile, but looking for some advice and what better place to ask? And no this one isnt a "trolling attention whore" version.

In all my life threads from the past the children I referred to were my youngest three, the ones I ultimately got full custody of and live with me now 75+% of the year. But I also have an older son with a different woman that I don't believe Ive mentioned much.

He is 19, has a good job with better health insurance than me and has had his own pad since late June. Ive tried to talk him many times into enrolling full-time or at least taking some college courses but he wants no part of it. His excuse is he's making good money, doesn't hate his job and doesn't want student loans to repay. I'm hoping he eventually changes his mind but for now its made up.

The way the child support laws work in MO from what Ive learned is if a child has either become self-providing OR hasn't enrolled into some kind of higher education by Oct 1st following their high school graduation child support is to be terminated. He fits both of these categories.

I kept paying anyway assuming his mom was giving him the money but he hasn't seen a dime since he moved out. So shortly after Oct 1st I mailed in the document needed to terminate support and checked both boxes. They then are supposed to mail his mother a notice and she has 30 days from the day she receives it to either accept or challenge.

She knows this and has been deliberately sending it back marking "this person doesn't live here anymore" on the envelope. She did move once but I found out her new address and even after they sent it to her there she did the same thing. She knows that I have to keep paying until she gets this letter because the termination order cant be completed until the process plays out. She told my son this and was basically bragging about it. This woman has been scamming the system for food stamps and medicaid her entire adult life and has never had a job longer than a few months but that's another story.

It is now mid-Dec and for the third time the MO support division has told me they received the letter back and there's nothing they can do until they "find her". Ive asked them to have it sent certified and even offered to pay to have her served the letter by a Sheriff but they said "they dont do that." :rolleyes:

Anyone ever been through anything similar to this, or do any of our Planet attorneys have any advice they could give?

That really is Bullsh*t.

If you are the paying parent and you fail to update your address, you are deemed to have received service of anything the agency mails to your last known address.

Same should apply to parent receiving support. The agency is acting as if the parent receiving support does not need to keep address updated.

I think there is a way to use the code of state regulations to start a request for modification or request for hearing so that you could do personal service through process server.

Hypothetically, if i had a client with this situation. i would call the general counsel of the department of social services and ask for any good ideas of what it would take to convince the agency that mom actually has received the letter in the mail already.

[BWillie]

Every day I am more and more happy I have no children.

[loochy]

Every day I am more and more happy I have no children.

I'm very happy that I have children.

Having children doesn't mean your life has to be a screwup.

[TrebMaxx]

How does she receive the support payment? Do you send her check to the same address?

[Deberg_1990]

An MTG life thread. Been awhile, but looking for some advice and what better place to ask? And no this one isnt a "trolling attention whore" version.

In all my life threads from the past the children I referred to were my youngest three, the ones I ultimately got full custody of and live with me now 75+% of the year. But I also have an older son with a different woman that I don't believe Ive mentioned much.

He is 19, has a good job with better health insurance than me and has had his own pad since late June. Ive tried to talk him many times into enrolling full-time or at least taking some college courses but he wants no part of it. His excuse is he's making good money, doesn't hate his job and doesn't want student loans to repay. I'm hoping he eventually changes his mind but for now its made up.

The way the child support laws work in MO from what Ive learned is if a child has either become self-providing OR hasn't enrolled into some kind of higher education by Oct 1st following their high school graduation child support is to be terminated. He fits both of these categories.

I kept paying anyway assuming his mom was giving him the money but he hasn't seen a dime since he moved out. So shortly after Oct 1st I mailed in the document needed to terminate support and checked both boxes. They then are supposed to mail his mother a notice and she has 30 days from the day she receives it to either accept or challenge.

She knows this and has been deliberately sending it back marking "this person doesn't live here anymore" on the envelope. She did move once but I found out her new address and even after they sent it to her there she did the same thing. She knows that I have to keep paying until she gets this letter because the termination order cant be completed until the process plays out. She told my son this and was basically bragging about it. This woman has been scamming the system for food stamps and medicaid her entire adult life and has never had a job longer than a few months but that's another story.

It is now mid-Dec and for the third time the MO support division has told me they received the letter back and there's nothing they can do until they "find her". Ive asked them to have it sent certified and even offered to pay to have her served the letter by a Sheriff but they said "they dont do that." :rolleyes:

Anyone ever been through anything similar to this, or do any of our Planet attorneys have any advice they could give?

Vasectomy?

[MTG#10]

How does she receive the support payment? Do you send her check to the same address?

I pay the state online, then they load it on her prepaid visa. I have one too because I receive support for my three younger children from their mother.

[Lex Luthor]

I have my son 100% of the time. I am overpaid $9000 in child support. I get a $50 credit monthly because of the over payment. I still pay $1279 a month less the $50. So a total of $1229 and she hasn't seen or talked to him in months. Basically disappeared except the occasional text when she breaks the text she sent to see him.

If you have your son 100% of the time, why are you paying child support at all?

[TrebMaxx]

I pay the state online, then they load it on her prepaid visa. I have one too because I receive support for my three younger children from their mother.

Bummer. I wonder if there are any advocacy organizations that assist men in your same situation. Doesn't sound like the state could give a shit about you even though you have fulfilled your commitment.

[The Franchise]

Don't stop paying your support, only an asshole or complete dumb shit would think like that.

You are continued to be responsible until motion is signed by judge/agency.

I didn't tell him to stop paying. I asked him what would happen if he did.

[Lex Luthor]

Child support is normally paid by the non-residential parent to the residential parent. If your son is living with you, your ex should be the one paying child support, not you.

You should take her to court and get the order modified so that she pays you!

[Spott]

Every day I am more and more happy I have no children.

Smart man.

[rico]

Child support is normally paid by the non-residential parent to the residential parent. If your son is living with you, your ex should be the one paying child support, not you.

You should take her to court and get the order modified so that she pays you!

Yep. Primary physical care = you should receive child support, to my understanding.

[SAUTO]

What happens if you stop paying? Does the child support office take it upon themselves? Or does she have to start the process?

Shit my oldest that I always paid on was in Kansas and the month after she graduated high school the state started sending my money back.

Even though she went to college.

I just got her a reloadable card and put the money on it so she had it. But the state said ididn't have to pay anymore.

Missouri sucks in that regards.

[SAUTO]

I have my son 100% of the time. I am overpaid $9000 in child support. I get a $50 credit monthly because of the over payment. I still pay $1279 a month less the $50. So a total of $1229 and she hasn't seen or talked to him in months. Basically disappeared except the occasional text when she breaks the text she sent to see him.
holy fuck man. I never paid that much even since I've been making GREAT money.

[Eureka]

I thought you could stop paying once the child turns 18. At what age do you stop paying?

[threebag]

If you have your son 100% of the time, why are you paying child support at all?

Waiting to return to court

[threebag]

I thought you could stop paying once the child turns 18. At what age do you stop paying?

In kansas i think you can be on the hook until 26

[Indian Chief]

In kansas i think you can be on the hook until 26

So no longer child support, but... adult support?

[LoneWolf]

Waiting to return to court

Hopefully you have a better lawyer this time than you did originally. Shoot me a PM if you want the names of a couple of really good attorneys in Wichita that I play golf with.

[scho63]

Every day I am more and more happy I have no children.

same for me and no ex wives or married! :clap:

Bachelorhood is just fine by me! :D

[DC.chief]

I'd deliver that shit in person

[stumppy]

I'm going to go ahead and give you the solution to your problem.
ANTIFREEZE