Hammock Parties
02-06-2017, 09:15 PM
Let us fantasize:
2000
Tom Brady is drafted in the 6th round by brilliant GM Carl Peterson, instead of G Darnell Alford. He languishes on the bench behind Elvis Grbac and Warren Moon. The Chiefs finish 7-9, Gunther Cunningham is fired at season's end, Grbac moves on to Baltimore and Brady sees his opportunity. The Ravens win the Super Bowl.
2001
The Chiefs hire Dick Vermeil. He likes what he sees in Tom Brady, but still wants to trade for Trent Green. Brady is Green's backup. The Chiefs do not acquire Todd Collins, and finish 6-10. Even after a horrible season from Green, there is no QB controversy because no one has seen Brady take a meaningful snap in a real game. The Rams win the Super Bowl.
2002
Brady is Green's backup. The Chiefs offense flourishes and Green cements his status as KC's starter. The Chiefs finish 8-8. Brady plays in mop-up duty in one game and throws his first NFL TD pass. Fans remark: "Wow, Brady looked really good against Arizona!" The Bucs win the Super Bowl.
2003
Brady is Green's backup. He plays again in mop-up duty and looks good, but nothing meaningful. The Chiefs lose in the playoffs to Peyton Manning, who defeats the Patriots next week. The Colts win the Super Bowl.
2004
Brady is Green's backup. The Chiefs miss the playoffs, but again no meaningful playing time for Brady. The Colts win the Super Bowl.
2005
Brady is Green's backup. Brady gets no game action at all this year due to Green's remarkable health. The Chiefs miss the playoffs. Still no QB controversy, although fans wonder how much longer Green has at age 35. The Steelers win the Super Bowl.
2006
Dick Vermeil retires, and the Chiefs hire Herm Edwards. The Chiefs do not draft Brodie Croyle or sign Damon Huard. Brady is Green's backup, but Green gets hurt in Week 1 and, finally at age 29, Brady has his chance! Brady plays well enough that Green stays on the bench the entire season. The Chiefs finish 12-4 instead of 9-7 due to superior QB play, and, true to form, Brady bests Manning in the postseason. The Chiefs win the Super Bowl, beating an overrated Bears squad! Herm Edwards dances in the locker room after his Cover 2 defense picks off Rex Grossman several times. He and Carl are The Toast of the Town!
2007
Tom Brady is the Chiefs starting quarterback. Trent Green is traded. The Chiefs still have a pretty good defense, and even with a bad offensive line, Brady gets them back to the playoffs at 10-6. Unfortunately the Chiefs as a team aren't quite good enough this year, and lose to the Chargers in the AFC Championship game. The Giants win the Super Bowl.
2008
Tom Brady signs a long-term contract with the Chiefs. Carl Peterson also signs an extension, and his trade of malcontent Jared Allen is hailed. But the Chiefs offensive line is still pretty bad, and Tom Brady blows out his knee in Week 1. With no Huard or Croyle on the Chiefs roster in this alternate history, that makes Tyler Thigpen the Chiefs starting QB. The Chiefs have a shockingly bad year and finish 2-14. The Steelers win the Super Bowl.
2009
The Chiefs avoid the Scott Pioli disaster. They do not trade Tony Gonzalez. After the 2-14 season, people are beginning to question the Chiefs success: is it Herm and Carl, or Brady? Thankfully, Brady's return means the Chiefs are back to winning, but Brady isn't quite his old self. The Chiefs finish 10-6, and lose to the Ravens in the playoffs. The Saints win the Super Bowl.
2010
The Chiefs have a really easy schedule, and Tom Brady is back at full strength. The Chiefs finish 14-2, Dwayne Bowe and Jamaal Charles are absolutely lethal with an elite QB running the offense, and Carl and Herm are The Toast of the Town again. Unfortunately, Brady runs into a younger, hotter QB in Aaron Rodgers and a better overall team in the Super Bowl. The Packers win the Super Bowl.
2011
We're now five years removed from the Chiefs Super Bowl win, and people are questioning if Brady can ever do it again now that he's 34. The Chiefs have a pretty strong roster at this point, though. Brady has one of his best seasons ever. The Chiefs finish 12-4 and go back to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, they run into a younger, hotter QB in Eli Manning and a better team. The Giants win the Super Bowl.
2012
Thirty-five year old Tom Brady is 1-2 in Super Bowls and definitely not in the GOAT conversation at this point. The Chiefs still have a pretty good roster though, and go back to the playoffs at 11-5. Unfortunately, they're not as good as they were the previous season and lose in the playoffs to eventual SB winner Joe Flacco. The Ravens win the Super Bowl.
2013
Peyton Manning is in Denver now, and the league is looking forward to the Brady-Manning AFC West showdowns twice a year. The Broncos are good, but Brady has always bested Manning and the Chiefs win the division at 13-3. They go back to the Super Bowl, but lose to a younger, hotter QB in Russell Wilson. The Seahawks win the Super Bowl.
2014
Tom Brady is 37 and 1-3 in Super Bowls, and has little drive left to prove anything else. He's had an excellent career for a sixth-rounder. No one thinks he is in the conversation for "greatest of all time."
Chiefs fans have given him the nickname "Tom Fadey," for his legendary Super Bowl collapses. The siren call of Kansas City barbecue has ruined his strict diet, and supermodel Gisele Bundchen has refused all of his sexual advances.
He decides to retire. Carl and Herm lead the Chiefs to another 2-14 season
2015
The Chiefs have the first pick in the NFL draft. Having irrefutable proof now that you don't need to draft a QB in the first round of the draft to win a Super Bowl, Carl Peterson decides to end his career the way he started it, and picks a pass rusher: Dante Fowler.
He trades the Chiefs second-round pick for steady veteran QB Alex Smith.
The Chiefs go 2-14.
2016
Herm Edwards and Carl Peterson retire. Herm is the second winningest HC in Chiefs history (88-72). Peterson has had an incredible 27-year run as GM, and if you don't like it, you can kiss his ring, bitches.
Having mostly squandered the stellar career of Tom Brady, they are still The Toast of the Town. The Hunts erect statues in their honor.
Tom Brady comes out of retirement and signs with the New England Patriots, who win the Super Bowl.
2000
Tom Brady is drafted in the 6th round by brilliant GM Carl Peterson, instead of G Darnell Alford. He languishes on the bench behind Elvis Grbac and Warren Moon. The Chiefs finish 7-9, Gunther Cunningham is fired at season's end, Grbac moves on to Baltimore and Brady sees his opportunity. The Ravens win the Super Bowl.
2001
The Chiefs hire Dick Vermeil. He likes what he sees in Tom Brady, but still wants to trade for Trent Green. Brady is Green's backup. The Chiefs do not acquire Todd Collins, and finish 6-10. Even after a horrible season from Green, there is no QB controversy because no one has seen Brady take a meaningful snap in a real game. The Rams win the Super Bowl.
2002
Brady is Green's backup. The Chiefs offense flourishes and Green cements his status as KC's starter. The Chiefs finish 8-8. Brady plays in mop-up duty in one game and throws his first NFL TD pass. Fans remark: "Wow, Brady looked really good against Arizona!" The Bucs win the Super Bowl.
2003
Brady is Green's backup. He plays again in mop-up duty and looks good, but nothing meaningful. The Chiefs lose in the playoffs to Peyton Manning, who defeats the Patriots next week. The Colts win the Super Bowl.
2004
Brady is Green's backup. The Chiefs miss the playoffs, but again no meaningful playing time for Brady. The Colts win the Super Bowl.
2005
Brady is Green's backup. Brady gets no game action at all this year due to Green's remarkable health. The Chiefs miss the playoffs. Still no QB controversy, although fans wonder how much longer Green has at age 35. The Steelers win the Super Bowl.
2006
Dick Vermeil retires, and the Chiefs hire Herm Edwards. The Chiefs do not draft Brodie Croyle or sign Damon Huard. Brady is Green's backup, but Green gets hurt in Week 1 and, finally at age 29, Brady has his chance! Brady plays well enough that Green stays on the bench the entire season. The Chiefs finish 12-4 instead of 9-7 due to superior QB play, and, true to form, Brady bests Manning in the postseason. The Chiefs win the Super Bowl, beating an overrated Bears squad! Herm Edwards dances in the locker room after his Cover 2 defense picks off Rex Grossman several times. He and Carl are The Toast of the Town!
2007
Tom Brady is the Chiefs starting quarterback. Trent Green is traded. The Chiefs still have a pretty good defense, and even with a bad offensive line, Brady gets them back to the playoffs at 10-6. Unfortunately the Chiefs as a team aren't quite good enough this year, and lose to the Chargers in the AFC Championship game. The Giants win the Super Bowl.
2008
Tom Brady signs a long-term contract with the Chiefs. Carl Peterson also signs an extension, and his trade of malcontent Jared Allen is hailed. But the Chiefs offensive line is still pretty bad, and Tom Brady blows out his knee in Week 1. With no Huard or Croyle on the Chiefs roster in this alternate history, that makes Tyler Thigpen the Chiefs starting QB. The Chiefs have a shockingly bad year and finish 2-14. The Steelers win the Super Bowl.
2009
The Chiefs avoid the Scott Pioli disaster. They do not trade Tony Gonzalez. After the 2-14 season, people are beginning to question the Chiefs success: is it Herm and Carl, or Brady? Thankfully, Brady's return means the Chiefs are back to winning, but Brady isn't quite his old self. The Chiefs finish 10-6, and lose to the Ravens in the playoffs. The Saints win the Super Bowl.
2010
The Chiefs have a really easy schedule, and Tom Brady is back at full strength. The Chiefs finish 14-2, Dwayne Bowe and Jamaal Charles are absolutely lethal with an elite QB running the offense, and Carl and Herm are The Toast of the Town again. Unfortunately, Brady runs into a younger, hotter QB in Aaron Rodgers and a better overall team in the Super Bowl. The Packers win the Super Bowl.
2011
We're now five years removed from the Chiefs Super Bowl win, and people are questioning if Brady can ever do it again now that he's 34. The Chiefs have a pretty strong roster at this point, though. Brady has one of his best seasons ever. The Chiefs finish 12-4 and go back to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, they run into a younger, hotter QB in Eli Manning and a better team. The Giants win the Super Bowl.
2012
Thirty-five year old Tom Brady is 1-2 in Super Bowls and definitely not in the GOAT conversation at this point. The Chiefs still have a pretty good roster though, and go back to the playoffs at 11-5. Unfortunately, they're not as good as they were the previous season and lose in the playoffs to eventual SB winner Joe Flacco. The Ravens win the Super Bowl.
2013
Peyton Manning is in Denver now, and the league is looking forward to the Brady-Manning AFC West showdowns twice a year. The Broncos are good, but Brady has always bested Manning and the Chiefs win the division at 13-3. They go back to the Super Bowl, but lose to a younger, hotter QB in Russell Wilson. The Seahawks win the Super Bowl.
2014
Tom Brady is 37 and 1-3 in Super Bowls, and has little drive left to prove anything else. He's had an excellent career for a sixth-rounder. No one thinks he is in the conversation for "greatest of all time."
Chiefs fans have given him the nickname "Tom Fadey," for his legendary Super Bowl collapses. The siren call of Kansas City barbecue has ruined his strict diet, and supermodel Gisele Bundchen has refused all of his sexual advances.
He decides to retire. Carl and Herm lead the Chiefs to another 2-14 season
2015
The Chiefs have the first pick in the NFL draft. Having irrefutable proof now that you don't need to draft a QB in the first round of the draft to win a Super Bowl, Carl Peterson decides to end his career the way he started it, and picks a pass rusher: Dante Fowler.
He trades the Chiefs second-round pick for steady veteran QB Alex Smith.
The Chiefs go 2-14.
2016
Herm Edwards and Carl Peterson retire. Herm is the second winningest HC in Chiefs history (88-72). Peterson has had an incredible 27-year run as GM, and if you don't like it, you can kiss his ring, bitches.
Having mostly squandered the stellar career of Tom Brady, they are still The Toast of the Town. The Hunts erect statues in their honor.
Tom Brady comes out of retirement and signs with the New England Patriots, who win the Super Bowl.