I searched for "Sex Toys" on Chiefsplanet and Broke the F***king Internet!

[Archie F. Swin]

Vibrator, dildo, marital aids....Chiefsplanet search aggregate times out. (I got the off-white screen of perversion!)

Why did I search for fleshlariats, muffcrunchers and diddlesticks? Because I'm ready to take our (Wife & I) sexing to the next motherfucking level. After 20+ years, its time for kinky, fetishy, fantasy and tomfoolery.

I'm not starting this shit. She's bought some vibrators over the years and its become part of our regular liquor-fueled throw down.

So, tell me you bald, goateed, bloated short dicks....what's rocking your middle-aged sex acts of argression?

I'm prepared for a sophisticated, enlightened dialogue

[stumppy]

Put it in her butt.

[BlackHelicopters]

PIIHB

[BlackHelicopters]

PIIHB

Damn

[stumppy]

Also, convince her she is a bit bi-curious.

[Titty Meat]

http://i49.tinypic.com/243gehv.jpg

[Archie F. Swin]

Also, convince her she is a bit bi-curious.

(((writing this down)))

[stumppy]

(((writing this down)))

Let her know you'll be there for support and help her take these first steps towards true happiness. The cameras are only for positive reinforcement and helpful suggestions in the future.

[cooper barrett]

making her squirt!

[Why Not?]

Dayton Moore disapproves of this thread

[stevieray]

this took you 20 years?

better late than never.

Not a chance in hell I divulge that info here.

have fun!

[Prison Bitch]

Bring in a closer to put out the fire.


I'll PM you my info

[Iconic]

Don't get your wife accustomed to vaginal insertion sex toys. Avoid them IMO. Handcuffs, scented candles, rope, whips, spank paddles, chains, lingerie, ball-gags, positioning wedges, dog collars, and blindfolds are smarter ideas that won't impact your regular sex life. Kinky is about the vibe and role play rather than the toys themselves.

Yes I'm serious.

[Ming the Merciless]

https://pics.me.me/oh-ilove-the-honey-lingerie-itsthe-best-valentines-gift-ever-14398796.png

[Ming the Merciless]

Don't get your wife accustomed to vaginal insertion sex toys.

any reason why?

asking for a friend

[Ming the Merciless]

http://i.imgur.com/ywsyxc9.jpg

[ptlyon]

Don't get your wife accustomed to vaginal insertion sex toys. Avoid them IMO. Handcuffs, scented candles, rope, whips, spank paddles, chains, lingerie, ball-gags, positioning wedges, dog collars, and blindfolds are smarter ideas that won't impact your regular sex life. Kinky is about the vibe and role play rather than the toys themselves.

Yes I'm serious.

Spoken like a true two and a halfer

[ModSocks]

So, tell me you bald, goateed, bloated short dicks....what's rocking your middle-aged sex acts of argression?[/B]

I'm prepared for a sophisticated, enlightened dialogue

Well, i'm a fully thick haired, bearded, big dick, handsome stud, so maybe i'm not who you're looking for an opinion from but I'll share anyway.

If you want her to continue to unlock her inner freak then you need to express to her how much of a freak weirdo you are, and how much it turns you on.

Once she becomes comfortable with the idea that her sexual perversions are nothing to be ashamed of and are welcomed, then she'll be able to freely slut out for you in bed.

Vibes are a good start. Don't be intimated by large dildos either. They're a tool in the tool kit. Build up that tool kit. Take your time. A good sex session will last an hour+.

She should be spent afterwards. Lube everywhere...turn that pussy to mush...and don't be afraid to take an intermission.

[Hammock Parties]

LMAO

Off to the Romper in 3...2...1

[Rasputin]

any reason why?

asking for a friend

My guess is that she would rather get off with the toy than you meaning you will become obsolete in her sex joys.

[Ming the Merciless]

My guess is that she would rather get off with the toy than you meaning you will become obsolete in her sex joys.

I know a guy who has jammed a lot of sex toys into some pussies and he thinks this is an irrational fear

[Rasputin]

LMAO

Off to the Romper in 3...2...1

No No No this is good discussion the man needs advice.


Why make glorify the Romper Room then everyone will want to go there and not making it a punishment.

[Prison Bitch]

Well, i'm a fully thick haired, bearded, big dick, handsome stud, so maybe i'm not who you're looking for an opinion from but I'll share anyway.

If you want her to continue to unlock her inner freak then you need to express to her how much of a freak weirdo you are, and how much it turns you on.

Once she becomes comfortable with the idea that her sexual perversions are nothing to be ashamed of and are welcomed, then she'll be able to freely slut out for you in bed.

Vibes are a good start. Don't be intimated by large dildos either. They're a tool in the tool kit. Build up that tool kit. Take your time. A good sex session will last an hour+.

She should be spent afterwards. Lube everywhere...turn that pussy to mush...and don't be afraid to take an intermission.



Is that how you got your obsession with black dicks?

[ModSocks]

My guess is that she would rather get off with the toy than you meaning you will become obsolete in her sex joys.

Unless you're undersized in the pants it should be a non-issue. Women like real dick even if it's smaller than a dildo. Vibes are what women like anyway since it offers clit stimulation.

Yes, she is probably using her Vibe when you're at work. Get over it.

There's probably something to be said for a woman feeling pushed to her limits with larger objects. Don't ever let a woman say size doesn't matter. It absolutely matters to a degree.

You can't be rockin' 5" or less and seriously think she's having an optimal time. Sorry to whomever is reading this with a us....below average member.

[Rasputin]

I know a guy who has jammed a lot of sex toys into some pussies and he thinks this is an irrational fear

That's been my experience as well not a problem for me.

I like using toys on girls saves on back pain later.

[ModSocks]

Bring in a closer to put out the fire.




Is that how you got your obsession with black dicks?

Says the cuck....

[Prison Bitch]

Says the cuck....

Nobody says you can't love black dicks Detox.


It's your deal. We ain't judging.

[ModSocks]

Nobody says you can't love black dicks Detox.


It's your deal. We ain't judging.

lord knows you've had enough "closers" in your bed.

[Prison Bitch]

lord knows you've had enough "closers" in your bed.

Your mom prob did. Is that why you ran away as a teen?

[ModSocks]

So, tell me you bald, goateed, bloated short dicks...

Your mom prob did. Is that why you ran away as a teen?

Pretty sure he was talking to you. Shouldn't you be giving advice to Archie instead of following me around like an obsessed school girl?

I'm starting to feel like i should be signing my posts for you so you can hang them on your wall and fawn over them.

[Archie F. Swin]

No No No this is good discussion the man needs advice.





.


Its a public service



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ModSocks]

For anyone who doesn't frequent D.C, i once told PB that his wife likes to take black dick while he sits and watches. He's been following me around crying about black dick ever since.

Must've really pushed a sensitive topic there....I have to be more careful. Sometimes my comments apparently hit too close to home.

[stumppy]

For anyone who doesn't frequent D.C, i once told PB that his wife likes to take black dick while he sits and watches. He's been following me around crying about black dick ever since.

Must've really pushed a sensitive topic there....I have to be more careful. Sometimes my comments apparently hit too close to home.

Try not to be too hard on him. Cucks are people two. He was probably born that way.

[Prison Bitch]

For anyone who doesn't frequent D.C, i once told PB that his wife likes to take black dick while he sits and watches. He's been following me around crying about black dick ever since.

Must've really pushed a sensitive topic there....I have to be more careful. Sometimes my comments apparently hit too close to home.


Tell the truth - you were bringing it up with other posters too. To most of us, It's a strange obsession you have.



We aren't judging you bro. Just like we ain't judging anything advised to Archie Swim here.

[ModSocks]

Try not to be too hard on him. Cucks are people two. He was probably born that way.

Hey man, no disrespect for cucks out there. I'm happy for PB. He's doing what it takes to keep her happy. Ka'dos to him. Takes a helluva man to accept that you're not man enough to please your woman.

[ModSocks]

Tell the truth - you were bringing it up with other posters too. To most of us, It's a strange obsession you have.



We aren't judging you bro. Just like we ain't judging anything advised to Archie Swim here.

A "man" that likes to be called Prison Bitch, who spams the board with gay threads, gets irrationally angry about a black dick comment and recommends cucking in a sex thread...

I'm not a detective or anything....but damn. There's some serious projecting occurring here.

[ModSocks]

No, PB. I will not fuck your wife. Now leave me alone please and stop sending me PM's. I already said No.

[stumppy]

No, PB. I will not fuck your wife. Now leave me alone please and stop sending me PM's. I already said No.

ROFL

Alright, i'd suggest we get back to the original topic.

[stumppy]

It might help if you tell us what you've tried already. Be very descriptive. Just trying to help.

[Archie F. Swin]

It might help if you tell us what you've tried already. Be very descriptive. Just trying to help.



They still have 1 900 numbers


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ModSocks]

They still have 1 900 numbers


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

But how are people suppose to lend advice on what to do w/o knowing what you've tried and disliked?

Bring some burst back into this thread after PB's attempted derailment!

[ptlyon]

Sybian

[ModSocks]

http://i.imgur.com/ywsyxc9.jpg

Sybian

?

[Archie F. Swin]

Not much I dislike. The only thing she tends to be apprehensive about is getting on top. She thinks she's too fat and she doesn't want me to see her. I love the position because I don't have to work so hard and and I get a big rack in my face. Without going into detail, I get the impression she likes to be...umm...stretched out a little.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ModSocks]

I get the impression she likes to be...umm...stretched out a little.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Good for her.

Do it.

Lots of lube and take your time. Lick her clit in the process. You must give the tongue action to keep her in the zone. Otherwise you'll probably hurt her.

[stevieray]

Not much I dislike. The only thing she tends to be apprehensive about is getting on top. She thinks she's too fat and she doesn't want me to see her. I love the position because I don't have to work so hard and and I get a big rack in my face. Without going into detail, I get the impression she likes to be...umm...stretched out a little.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

....cut the lights.

or just a small candle.


...put on enigma or pink floyd.

[ModSocks]

....cut the lights.

or just a small candle.


...put on enigma or pink floyd.

If she's self conscious i'd imagine the lights are off quite frequently.

He should probably just accept that she doesn't like it and entertain the things she DOES like.

[Archie F. Swin]

If she's self conscious i'd imagine the lights are off quite frequently.



He should probably just accept that she doesn't like it and entertain the things she DOES like.



I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ModSocks]

I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

A sentiment shared by most husbands. Women are weird.

[stevieray]

I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

you can...and I believe you. she just needs to see/hear it.

emphasize it.. touch her everywhere.

affirmation during will take you leaps and bounds..

[Amnorix]

Good for her.

Do it.

Lots of lube and take your time. Lick her clit in the process. You must give the tongue action to keep her in the zone. Otherwise you'll probably hurt her.


Or a vibrator on the clit of course.

[BlackHelicopters]

Get her "The Celebrator." You can thank me later.

[Rain Man]

The market research project that I most regret losing was a request to conduct female sex toy research in Puerto Rico. The client decided not to do the project and it broke my heart. I would have done a really good job for them.

[ModSocks]

Get her "The Celebrator." You can thank me later.

Googled it. Make sure no one confuses it with a battery operated tooth brush LMAO

[Archie F. Swin]

Googled it. Make sure no one confuses it with a battery operated tooth brush LMAO



I would think in a pinch you could make that work


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[dlphg9]

Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions

[ModSocks]

Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions

LMAO

What's weird about sex?

[Archie F. Swin]

Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions



We gotta help each other out. Women are sexual combination locks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ModSocks]

i'd advise taking her "shopping". Not sure what the adult store scene is like in Wichita Falls, but in San Diego they're everywhere.

I'd guess she'd be embarrassed at first, but if she can get over it i'm sure being in a sex themed store lined with objects for her orgasmic pleasure would certainly heighten the senses.

Never know, maybe she'll be comfortable enough to pick one off the wall herself.

[listopencil]

It's pretty simple. Play a game that both of you enjoy (cards, board game, whatever) and make articles of clothing the stakes. Each round or hand you both put in an article of clothing. Winner takes both items. Or if you want to draw it out use two or three markers, players decide whether to use markers or articles of clothing each round. The loser is the person who runs out of markers and clothing first, winner gets to have their way with the loser. Make a lot of suggestive comments during the game and she'll throw it just to see what you'll do when you win. When you win go to the bedroom, dim the lights, tie her to the bed and use your only your hands on her until she has finished at least a couple of times, do it enough to get her to start tiring out. And then just keep going with whatever "moves" you have in your playbook. Make an evening of it. If you do it well she'll take it as a challenge to make this part of your regular routine and come up with her own ideas of what to do when she decides to win.

[Bugeater]

Ewww....old people sex.

[Archie F. Swin]

Ewww....old people sex.

get fukt?

[ptlyon]

?

Google it

[Archie F. Swin]

Ewww....old people sex.

you know what sux about being in your mid 40s? You can find women in their 40s and 50s attractive....along with 30 year olds and 20 year olds. Its freaking frustrating

[NewChief]

I think she said she was into pegging. Enjoy.

[Dayze]

Well, we do have plenty of dildos here on CP.

Plenty of varieties too.
Short, fat and knobby and no balls -Tiger
Long smooth and Skinny - Sandy
Big and black - Arrow

[Titty Meat]

I bet Prison Bitch is loud when he cums

[Rasputin]

I bet Prison Bitch is loud when he cums

Ask TimModBone

[Ming the Merciless]

https://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1Jze.RVXXXXcEXVXXq6xXFXXXQ/Multi-function-USB-Rechargeable-Tongue-Sex-Toy.jpg

[vailpass]

Agreed, incorporate sex toys into your play. My woman loves them and she always wakes me when it's my turn.

[Ming the Merciless]

male sex doll

https://s27.postimg.org/jczuovyyb/malesexdoll.jpg

[GloryDayz]

CP at its finest... Prolly the only thread with no hate!

[scho63]

Bring home a hot young female escort and tell her you're doing for her! :D

[Rasputin]

Two in the pink one in the stink

[beach tribe]

Adderal and Oxycodone..

It will be the best sex she has ever had and she won't be able to help but drop your name anytime good sex comes up with he friends.

[cooper barrett]

Adderal and Oxycodone..

It will be the best sex she has ever had and she won't be able to help but drop your name anytime good sex comes up with he friends.

That is way outside of the limits of this forum...

[cooper barrett]

Bring home a hot young female escort and tell her you're doing for her! :D

BTDT:

Doesn't work out well in the long term, she has to have met them before!

[Coochie liquor]

http://i.imgur.com/ywsyxc9.jpg

I'm saving up for the attachment that's the size of Shaq's arm holding a basketball!! Was gonna order the John Wayne's arm holding a colt 45 but they sold out of it!

[dmahurin]

Hitachi magic wand. Get the cordless one. The only toy you'll ever need. Her legs will go numb. My wife was apprehensive at first because it is a bit intimidating. But now, it's the go to. Absolutely worth it.

[Titty Meat]

Adderal and Oxycodone..

It will be the best sex she has ever had and she won't be able to help but drop your name anytime good sex comes up with he friends.

Explain this one. Liquor & SSRI's has me lasting for hours

[Rausch]

Because I'm ready to take our (Wife & I) sexing to the next mother****ing level. After 20+ years, its time for kinky, fetishy, fantasy and tomfoolery.

I'm not starting this shit. She's bought some vibrators over the years and its become part of our regular liquor-fueled throw down.

Rausch...leaves...thread...

[gblowfish]

If your wife starts wearing RYOBI Tshirts, you probably have a problem...

[Titty Meat]

If your wife starts wearing RYOBI Tshirts, you probably have a problem...

Spice things up by bringing in Prison Bitch aka the closer

http://www.realclearsports.com/blognetwork/rcs_sidelines/Rollie%20mustache.jpg

[Rausch]

Spice things up by bringing in Prison Bitch aka the closer

http://www.realclearsports.com/blognetwork/rcs_sidelines/Rollie%20mustache.jpg

Fun fact: pick any white pitcher from 1972-1992 on the A's and if you cut their hair right they could play Kyle Reece from the Terminator.

[cooper barrett]

Explain this one. Liquor & SSRI's has me lasting for hours

Something not right here but I am going with ignorance and apathy on this one.

[Titty Meat]

Something not right here but I am going with ignorance and apathy on this one.

SSRI's in general are an ejaculation killer.

[Prison Bitch]

Spice things up by bringing in Prison Bitch aka the closer

http://www.realclearsports.com/blognetwork/rcs_sidelines/Rollie%20mustache.jpg





http://binaryapi.ap.org/fcf7f6c1366c4e2ca2aeb8ec7a07c409/940x.jpg