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View Full Version : Football I had no f-----’ clue Kansas City was even in Missouri—I thought it was in Kansas.


vailpass
10-18-2017, 09:29 AM
Travis Kelce Living a Very Travis Kelce Life

Those who know Travis Kelce best are prone to employ his name as an adjective. Cutoff denim, for instance, is very Travis. A cream Gucci suit, splattered with red drawings of a pirate Donald Duck and paired with a Smokey the Bear-style hat (his outfit at a recent charity fashion show)—that was so Travis. The most Travis thing about Kelce’s Kansas City apartment might be that he employs one of his two bedrooms as a third walk-in closet, depository for various snake-collared shirts and Christian Louboutin kicks.

But when I meet Kelce in his apartment building’s lounge, he is clad in an unexpectedly un-Travis outfit: white Nike tee and red gym shorts, white Nike Prestos and a black compression sleeve around his left leg. I toss out an innocuous question about whether he’s lived in this building, in the downtown Power & Light District, for all four of his years as a Chiefs tight end, and he does a fairly Travis thing, letting slip a truth he’d probably rather not tell through a smile that disarms it.

His first two seasons in town he lived down the street. But, he says, “my neighbors didn’t like me.” Kelce missed just about his entire rookie year after having microfracture surgery on his left knee, which made him a 24-year-old with an abundance of money and no shortage of free time. Thus followed raucous nights that began and ended at Kelce’s apartment, which friends loved but which the doctor next door decidedly did not. After a few admonishments from the leasing office, Kelce noted the new luxury building nearby, in which he would be the first tenant of his unit and where he would have floor-to-ceiling windows. “Everything just made sense,” he says. So here he is.

But this is not where he is supposed to be now. Today’s plan was for me to tag along with Kelce on a promotional stunt delivering pizzas for Papa John’s, one of his many sponsors; some lucky local would answer the doorbell, un-scrunch some loose bills from a pocket and look up to see—surprise!—the dancing face of the Chiefs. It would’ve been fun. It would’ve been so Travis.

That face has been popping up in more and more places: on a monstrous video screen in Times Square and in NBC’s Sunday Night Football intro, onstage alongside Carrie Underwood. There was even a short-lived reality dating show on E!, Catching Kelce. Tony Gonzalez, this town’s last megastar tight end, thinks Kelce’s media appeal is obvious: He speaks freely and “doesn’t give a s---.” When I ask Aaron Eanes, Kelce’s manager, why sponsors enjoy working with the 2016 All-Pro, he says, “You can tell Travis gives a s---.” Being Travis, then, means both giving and not giving a s---. So Schrödinger, so Travis.

Kelce is not out there surprising local pizza lovers today for the same reason that he is sporting that black sleeve. Forty-eight hours earlier, in a Week 2 win over the Eagles, he scored a very Travis touchdown, taking a shovel pass from the 18-yard line and propelling all 260 pounds of his 6' 5" frame through the air, lifting off at the five and landing in the end zone while absorbing hits from two defenders. It was one of many plays he is still feeling two days later and, well, he says it would be weird to deliver pizzas with a slight, stiff limp.

The soaring touchdown, however, was only half of what made that Sunday particularly Travis. Earlier in the game he’d celebrated Kareem Hunt’s 53-yard TD dash by running to the Eagles’ sideline and delivering some choice words to a defender. Unsportsmanlike conduct; 15 yards on the kickoff. It was, dating back to last January’s playoff loss to the Steelers, the third straight game in which Kelce’s behavior drew such a penalty. Against Philly, Chiefs coach Andy Reid lit into him on the sideline and afterward said, “He’s got to learn.” K.C. news outlets, meanwhile, bemoaned the very Travis combination of 103 receiving yards and yet another foul for misconduct. On the radio the next afternoon one host described Kelce’s behavior as “what a little kid does.” Someone else compared the tight end to a child who hadn’t outgrown his binky.

When we meet, Kelce has yet to address the subject. Not that reporters didn’t try: Having dodged three postgame questions on the matter, he asked, “Any other questions?” He tells me he anticipated the queries and didn’t plan to address them. He didn’t want to get riled up and say something he might regret. “I just felt like I didn’t owe anybody an explanation,” he says. Which is a very Travis source of frustration. He’s been having to explain himself his whole life.

Travis Kelce entered the NFL in a very Travis way, and for maximum effect I will cede the floor and let him tell the story of the 2013 draft in his own very Travis fashion. “I got a call from an 816 number,” he says. “It just pops up on my phone as Missouri. I had no f-----’ clue Kansas City was even in Missouri—I thought it was in Kansas.” It’s in both. It’s confusing. “I’m like, ‘Nooo, not St. Louis. They don’t look like they have a bright future.

“I answered the call and it’s Andy Reid,” for whom Travis’s older brother, Jason, had played center in Philadelphia. “I’m like, ‘Hey, Coach! How are you? Sweet!’ He goes, ‘Yeah, listen. Are you gonna f--- this up?’ I was like, ‘Um, excuse me, coach?’ ‘Are you gonna f--- this up? I have the next pick [no. 63] and I wanna know if you’re gonna be the player I need you to be or if you’re gonna keep being this young punk who doesn’t listen to anybody.’ I’m sitting there like, Man, what? ‘Coach, I will be the best player you ever coached. Just give me a chance.’ And he goes, ‘All right, put your brother on the phone.’ ‘What? All right.’ I still have no idea what he said to Jason. I’m assuming they had a mutual agreement, like, ‘If he f---- this up, we’re both kicking his ass.’” ...

(long article but good, continued at the link)

https://www.si.com/nfl/2017/10/18/travis-kelce-kansas-city-chiefs

RealSNR
10-18-2017, 09:35 AM
Well, technically he wasn't wrong.

bigjosh
10-18-2017, 09:41 AM
ohh shit did travis just admit to Andy tampering with Jason Kelce?

InChiefsHeaven
10-18-2017, 09:50 AM
ohh shit did travis just admit to Andy tampering with Jason Kelce?

?

displacedinMN
10-18-2017, 09:52 AM
He has ADD.

Fish
10-18-2017, 09:53 AM
He'll always be an unpredictable, but talented knucklehead...

mikeyis4dcats.
10-18-2017, 09:54 AM
ohh shit did travis just admit to Andy tampering with Jason Kelce?

that story has been out there for years...

carcosa
10-18-2017, 09:56 AM
Travis Kelce seems like a nice young fella. Still has some maturing to do, sure, but don't we all?!? Thanks.

The Franchise
10-18-2017, 09:57 AM
ohh shit did travis just admit to Andy tampering with Jason Kelce?

Tampering? You can't tamper in the fucking draft.

Buehler445
10-18-2017, 10:10 AM
I want to hang out with Kelce.

carcosa
10-18-2017, 10:12 AM
I want to hang out with Kelce.

Me too! I bet it's a fun time.

vailpass
10-18-2017, 10:14 AM
I want to hang out with Kelce.

X2

Titty Meat
10-18-2017, 11:19 AM
ROFL the loft boys were easily the most entertaining thing this town has ever saw. It was him and his best friend who were roommates. They would tear up Martini Corner and PNL. Kelce is too much.

HemiEd
10-18-2017, 11:39 AM
Can only imagine what it would be like if Jared Allen was hanging with him.

DaneMcCloud
10-18-2017, 11:44 AM
Well, technically he wasn't wrong.

When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.

Lzen
10-18-2017, 11:47 AM
“I answered the call and it’s Andy Reid,” for whom Travis’s older brother, Jason, had played center in Philadelphia. “I’m like, ‘Hey, Coach! How are you? Sweet!’ He goes, ‘Yeah, listen. Are you gonna f--- this up?’ I was like, ‘Um, excuse me, coach?’ ‘Are you gonna f--- this up? I have the next pick [no. 63] and I wanna know if you’re gonna be the player I need you to be or if you’re gonna keep being this young punk who doesn’t listen to anybody.’ I’m sitting there like, Man, what? ‘Coach, I will be the best player you ever coached. Just give me a chance.’ And he goes, ‘All right, put your brother on the phone.’ ‘What? All right.’ I still have no idea what he said to Jason. I’m assuming they had a mutual agreement, like, ‘If he f---- this up, we’re both kicking his ass.’”

Love that.

Red Dawg
10-18-2017, 11:48 AM
Kelce speaks like hes from KCK, thats fo sho.

Kiimo
10-18-2017, 12:41 PM
When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.


As for me everyone got that "I'm an in-the-KNOW kind of person" look on their face and said "ahem. Are you from Kansas City Kansas or Kansas City Missouri?" and then looked smug.

Nobody wants to hear my answer which is "Hell no I'm not from KCK what do I look like some kind of west bottoms bath salt zombie?? But yes I am from Overland Park, Kansas."

T-post Tom
10-18-2017, 12:59 PM
Can only imagine what it would be like if Jared Allen was hanging with him.

https://media.newyorker.com/photos/59097f44fba4e90c8d8d8f5d/master/w_649,c_limit/Wayne-Development-Hell-1.jpg

Rain Man
10-18-2017, 12:59 PM
In a 2014 game against the Broncos, cameras caught him making a ... um ... suggestively dismissive hand motion near a referee. (Kelce later corrected the misunderstanding: The gesture was actually directed toward Denver linebacker Von Miller.)

Excellent work, Kelce. You're my kind of guy.

jLoy88
10-18-2017, 01:05 PM
I thought the same thing for a good portion of my life. Wasn't til high school when I met a girl from KC and I joked "Well we're not in Kansas anymore dorothy" and she promptly schooled my ass on geography and how KC, MO is the one we all know of but theres also a KC, KS.

vailpass
10-18-2017, 01:16 PM
I thought the same thing for a good portion of my life. Wasn't til high school when I met a girl from KC and I joked "Well we're not in Kansas anymore dorothy" and she promptly schooled my ass on geography and how KC, MO is the one we all know of but theres also a KC, KS.

Did you tell her to use that geography to map a route to the kitchen to make you a sandwich?

Rain Man
10-18-2017, 01:29 PM
The two states should solve the issue once and for all. Give the KC metro area to Missouri, and then give a similarly sized population in SW or NW Missouri to Kansas to balance the transaction.

Demonpenz
10-18-2017, 01:46 PM
If kelce and allen were the same age and at the same time they would have bolted together like voltron to form a giant dick mouth nose being to which they could fuck drink and snort everything and every drug within range. Thank God he saved us from such a animal.

Rasputin
10-18-2017, 03:12 PM
Missouri City is a city located in Texas. Who knew that?

ModSocks
10-18-2017, 03:16 PM
When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.

Yeah, i was gonna say...this isn't exactly uncommon.

Simplicity
10-18-2017, 03:29 PM
Missouri City is a city located in Texas. Who knew that?

I hosted a recruit last year that lived by Missouri City in Texas and I had to ask him again to make sure I heard him correctly.

Kiimo
10-18-2017, 03:41 PM
The two states should solve the issue once and for all. Give the KC metro area to Missouri, and then give a similarly sized population in SW or NW Missouri to Kansas to balance the transaction.

Nah we'll just move Arrowhead to the Speedway area and call it even.

TambaBerry
10-18-2017, 04:49 PM
When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.

That's because people are fucking stupid

AndChiefs
10-18-2017, 04:51 PM
Missouri City is a city located in Texas. Who knew that?

I knew.

Rain Man
10-18-2017, 05:05 PM
When I was a kid, my family came very close to moving to California. And by that, I mean of course the town in Missouri named California. I'm kind of glad it didn't happen just because of the inevitable confusion it would cause when telling people where I'm from.

sedated
10-18-2017, 05:14 PM
When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.

We have conferences here and no one who comes from out of town knows it's in Missouri. The confusion and subsequent jokes were funny the first 50 times or so.

58-4ever
10-18-2017, 05:42 PM
fuck off

BroncoDork
10-18-2017, 06:16 PM
Question: Missouri can't maintain an NFL franchise, why is that?
Answer: Because Kansas City has been so shitty nobody realizes they're in Missouri.

Bob Dole
10-18-2017, 06:24 PM
When I was a kid, my family came very close to moving to California. And by that, I mean of course the town in Missouri named California. I'm kind of glad it didn't happen just because of the inevitable confusion it would cause when telling people where I'm from.

I tell people I'm from Nevada, and get corrected. Um, the town existed first, motherfucker. The state got it wrong.

lewdog
10-18-2017, 06:29 PM
Question: Missouri can't maintain an NFL franchise, why is that?
Answer: Because Kansas City has been so shitty nobody realizes they're in Missouri.

Get this man into the red!!!

carcosa
10-18-2017, 07:13 PM
Question: Missouri can't maintain an NFL franchise, why is that?
Answer: Because Kansas City has been so shitty nobody realizes they're in Missouri.

EAT SHIT BIYCH!!!!!!

stevieray
10-18-2017, 07:16 PM
Question: Missouri can't maintain an NFL franchise, why is that?


Answer: False narrative.

...it started a Conference

NJChiefsFan
10-18-2017, 07:19 PM
I hosted a recruit last year that lived by Missouri City in Texas and I had to ask him again to make sure I heard him correctly.

Ironically relevant to this conversation was when driving out to Arrowhead I pass the Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Always found that amusing.

MahiMike
10-18-2017, 07:23 PM
I like everything about Kelce other than his taste in women. That show he did shoulda been call Kelce's Skanks.

chiefzilla1501
10-18-2017, 07:52 PM
So... totally off topic, but I just saw this video of Kelce... What are the chances that Dontari Poe's TD pass was inspired by this play?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_uXHFXVxolg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

carcosa
10-18-2017, 07:55 PM
I like everything about Kelce other than his taste in women. That show he did shoulda been call Kelce's Skanks.

His current, non-reality-tv girlfriend seems nice.

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/nfl/kansas-city-chiefs/fxedc0/picture152242802/alternates/LANDSCAPE_1140/kayla%20kelce

Ron Swanson
10-18-2017, 09:36 PM
He's a f*cking moron, but he's good at football.

BlackOp
10-18-2017, 10:42 PM
Kelce is classic ESFP Jungian personality type...my ex's brother had the same traits.

https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-personality

Couch-Potato
10-18-2017, 10:49 PM
I find it funny now that I live in CA when I tell people I'm from KC they always ask if I'm from the MO or KS side. I feel like people out of the area distinguish between the two more so than people living there.

splatbass
10-19-2017, 02:04 AM
When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.

Pretty much the same thing I've experienced living in California, Virginia and Hawaii. Not everyone, but a lot of people.

cooper barrett
10-19-2017, 03:41 AM
Hell No, In traveling, those who knew there were two, did ask which one but I recall most thinking it was MO.

I remember back in the 80's getting tags at the Lamar county offices and the clerk told me: "Here ya go, your official Johnson County status symbol. And it was true.
https://www.picclickimg.com/00/s/NDgwWDY0MA==/z/klYAAOSwr7tZf8No/$/Kansas-License-Plate-JO-Johnson-County-_1.jpg

People from JO were called snobs and people from KC, MO were looked down on by them, nobody wanted to admit they were from KC,KS...

It's the same way in St Louis, People refer to the neighborhood or the surrounding city's but no one is from St Louis... Which in case you don't know is also in IL.

DaneMcCloud
10-19-2017, 09:24 AM
no one is from St Louis... Which in case you don't know is also in IL.

Yeah, but there's not an Illinois City, Missouri

DaneMcCloud
10-19-2017, 09:25 AM
Pretty much the same thing I've experienced living in California, Virginia and Hawaii. Not everyone, but a lot of people.

I recall one girl asking me if Kansas City was in Nebraska

carcosa
10-19-2017, 10:36 AM
I recall one girl asking me if Kansas City was in Nebraska

She knew there was some kinda trick...

Rain Man
10-19-2017, 10:47 AM
Hell No, In traveling, those who knew there were two, did ask which one but I recall most thinking it was MO.

I remember back in the 80's getting tags at the Lamar county offices and the clerk told me: "Here ya go, your official Johnson County status symbol. And it was true.
https://www.picclickimg.com/00/s/NDgwWDY0MA==/z/klYAAOSwr7tZf8No/$/Kansas-License-Plate-JO-Johnson-County-_1.jpg

People from JO were called snobs and people from KC, MO were looked down on by them, nobody wanted to admit they were from KC,KS...

It's the same way in St Louis, People refer to the neighborhood or the surrounding city's but no one is from St Louis... Which in case you don't know is also in IL.


We went through a short phase in Colorado where our counties were on our license plates. I kind of liked it, even though I was just a common penny since my license was Denver County. It was fun to see an unusual county every once in a while.

HemiEd
10-19-2017, 11:23 AM
I tell people I'm from Nevada, and get corrected. Um, the town existed first, mother****er. The state got it wrong.

I had a guy stop by recently that said he spent the night in Nevada and he was from Kansas.
I told him everyone will know where you are from if you don't pronounce it correctly.

BoneKrusher
10-19-2017, 12:00 PM
We're not is Kansas anymore, we're somewhere over the Rainbow,
Rainbow
Rainbow.

vailpass
10-19-2017, 12:03 PM
I should have entitle this thread ‘Yeah, listen. Are you gonna f--- this up?’

AndChiefs
10-19-2017, 12:59 PM
We went through a short phase in Colorado where our counties were on our license plates. I kind of liked it, even though I was just a common penny since my license was Denver County. It was fun to see an unusual county every once in a while.

Idaho does that but it's in code. First two letters on the license plate tell you the county. For example, 1A is for the Boise area (Ada county).

MahiMike
10-19-2017, 02:59 PM
I recall one girl asking me if Kansas City was in Nebraska

Blonde?

Calcountry
10-19-2017, 04:35 PM
When I first moved to LA in 1993, everyone I met thought that Kansas City was in Kansas.

No one, and I mean no one, thought it was in Missouri.
This, and if you say Kansas, they say Toto, as in reflex reaction to the word Kansas.

DaneMcCloud
10-19-2017, 04:36 PM
Blonde?

Surprisingly, no. Brunette.

Calcountry
10-19-2017, 04:38 PM
Missouri City is a city located in Texas. Who knew that?

We want California city back from Missouri as well, who knew.

Rausch
10-19-2017, 04:48 PM
When we meet, Kelce has yet to address the subject. Not that reporters didn’t try: Having dodged three postgame questions on the matter, he asked, “Any other questions?” He tells me he anticipated the queries and didn’t plan to address them. He didn’t want to get riled up and say something he might regret. “I just felt like I didn’t owe anybody an explanation,” he says.

:facepalm:

Rausch
10-19-2017, 04:49 PM
We want California city back from Missouri as well, who knew.

Oh, you're more than welcome to it...

Calcountry
10-19-2017, 04:51 PM
Oh, you're more than welcome to it...
Seriously now, if it is St. Louis or California city which do you prefer?

Calcountry
10-19-2017, 04:53 PM
I think that Missouran's just were up shitcrick when it comes to naming towns.

Rausch
10-19-2017, 04:57 PM
Seriously now, if it is St. Louis or California city which do you prefer?

California.

California city is like a Mini-California.

St. Louis is populated with crazy ex-girlfriends. They wear Cards gear and talk about how great St. Louis is, how wonderful and rich the history is, and how everyone should want to live there. The next day they complain about race/gender/sex as if as if they are fighting lions for the enjoyment of Rome...

Calcountry
10-19-2017, 05:04 PM
California.

California city is like a Mini-California.

St. Louis is populated with crazy ex-girlfriends. They wear Cards gear and talk about how great St. Louis is, how wonderful and rich the history is, and how everyone should want to live there. The next day they complain about race/gender/sex as if as if they are fighting lions for the enjoyment of Rome...
At least we know where the battle lines are drawn. :)

Rausch
10-19-2017, 05:09 PM
At least we know where the battle lines are drawn. :)

If I were 21 again and my choice was between snobby white girls staring at their phones or one of 2 bars in Cali city full of Guacamole Gals...well...I have a soft spot for latin ladies.

Valiant
10-19-2017, 08:42 PM
Makes sense, lot of cali people at work, they thought kc was kansas only also.