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View Full Version : Life STORYTIME w/yer crazy cousin rabblerouser


rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 11:54 AM
It's not really a story, just me venting.

Last August, I took a job in Healthcare admin, good benefits, and got my own place out in the country, just me and the dog...

Around the same time, I started seeing a good friend of mine, she's been my friend for years...we started sleeping together. I mean, she's pretty smoking, perfect ass and perky titties. Awesome sexual chemistry. Before long I had a key to her place, we were planning meals and weekends together, I was picking her kids up from school and taking them to karate on Tues/Thurs...

And then things go haywire :

She starts nitpicking me to death.
Then about 2 weeks ago, I find the ubiquitous "hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour text" on her phone (by accident - not a snoop), to which she tried to explain away and told me also that we hadn't actually sat down and defined anything yet, but that if I wanted her to not talk with (or ****) other guys, and be exclusive, then she would be into that...

Well we broke up last night, for the best but man I'm ****ing depressed. She ****ing physically attacked me, neighbors called the cops, it was stupid. I'm embarrassed. Maybe someday, I'll meet a nice girl who won't cheat on me or get drunk and try to beat me up...but I doubt it. I mean, I'm a good dude, don't cheat or hit the wimmin folk, good job, live on my own...I deserve to be treated with respect. So...I'm probably going to isolate myself for awhile. She was one of my best friends for a long time. It makes me sad.

So, I don't need any "chin up" or "you're better off" or "well, what'd you expect!?"

I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry, don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple, and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy everytime your back is turned?? Someone I can CONVERSE with, and have a real connection with? Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?

Do they even make those anymore?

Reerun_KC
12-19-2017, 11:58 AM
You might try dating dudes, Your luck with women seems to be less than desirable.

Easy 6
12-19-2017, 11:58 AM
Keep your chin up, you'll be better off

Don't know what you want anyone to say, long term relationships are harder than hell to find

Rasputin
12-19-2017, 11:59 AM
In rare cases maybe but general answer is no.

Reerun_KC
12-19-2017, 11:59 AM
And before you start a relationship with a dude you might want to define that you are Big spoon.

Rasputin
12-19-2017, 12:00 PM
You might try dating dudes, Your luck with women seems to be less than desirable.

He could see what Denver Chief is up too.

vailpass
12-19-2017, 12:01 PM
Jesus Christ man stiffen up. Go out and get yourself a grudge fuck and you'll be alright again.

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 12:02 PM
I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry, don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple, and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy everytime your back is turned?? Someone I can CONVERSE with, and have a real connection with? Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?

Do they even make those anymore?

Nope. Sorry.

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it, although it's only been four months? She seems a bit pushy.

And if she's texting other dudes for lunch time monkey sex after sleeping with you for four months, then it's probably best that you let somebody else volunteer to be her next baby daddy anyway.

Rasputin
12-19-2017, 12:02 PM
Besides girls don't like nice guys they go for assholes & jerks.

SAUTO
12-19-2017, 12:03 PM
JFC when will you stupid fucks learn?

Reerun_KC
12-19-2017, 12:04 PM
JFC when will you stupid fucks learn?



And what lesson is this?

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 12:07 PM
Look at the bright side. Now you don't have to blow a couple hundred on her and her kids for Christmas.

Easy 6
12-19-2017, 12:08 PM
Since my divorce from a 13 year marriage in 2001, I've had many girlfriends but the longest one only lasted 6 months... finding the right woman is never guaranteed

You kinda gotta get lucky, then its a lot of hard work to keep it together

SAUTO
12-19-2017, 12:10 PM
And what lesson is this?

There are a couple.

1st? When you are a fucking pussy that has probably kissed some other guys dick don't post your problems here

Beef Supreme
12-19-2017, 12:12 PM
Chin up. You're better off. Well, what did you expect?

stumppy
12-19-2017, 12:12 PM
Women don't think like people.

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 12:14 PM
Dude, I'd just lock the doors, pull down the shades, get a carton of Luckys and a fifth of Evan Williams and Play Possum till dawn.

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88TG88
12-19-2017, 12:16 PM
I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry, don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple, and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy everytime your back is turned?? Someone I can CONVERSE with, and have a real connection with? Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?


No

oldman
12-19-2017, 12:16 PM
Look at the bright side. Now you don't have to blow a couple hundred on her and her kids for Christmas.

Truism. But seriously, you should have had "the discussion" when you exchanged keys and started the carpool. We guys seem to put that off as long as we can. The hard fact is women own 100% of the pussy and can use it as they want. I'm not saying that's right, but if you gave her no signal that you wanted to be exclusive, how did she know you weren't having backseat booglaloos with someone else at lunch?

MahiMike
12-19-2017, 12:17 PM
Russianbrides.com

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 12:19 PM
Truism. But seriously, you should have had "the discussion" when you exchanged keys and started the carpool. We guys seem to put that off as long as we can. The hard fact is women own 100% of the pussy and can use it as they want. I'm not saying that's right, but if you gave her no signal that you wanted to be exclusive, how did she know you weren't having backseat booglaloos with someone else at lunch?

Well, they own 99.98% of the pussy. The rest belong to Bill Kenney and Matt Casshole.

oldman
12-19-2017, 12:21 PM
Well, they own 99.98% of the pussy. The rest belong to Bill Kenney and Matt Casshole.

Ooops, sorry, right again, George.

JakeLV
12-19-2017, 12:23 PM
If she's having non-exclusive boyfriends picking up her kids, my Spidey Sense tells me that there is danger.

Dan Harmon says that the trick to fighting depression is to talk about it constantly so that it doesn't overwhelm you. I think there is truth to that.

Rasputin
12-19-2017, 12:25 PM
Sounds like you have this problem as well

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gblowfish
12-19-2017, 12:25 PM
https://youtu.be/qZqt0UmbPLo

Easy 6
12-19-2017, 12:28 PM
My bottom line takeaway would be this...

Any woman who gets drunk and engages in a physical altercation is NOT any kind of a keeper

Jewish Rabbi
12-19-2017, 12:31 PM
Just get hookers like scho

Marcellus
12-19-2017, 12:36 PM
There are a couple.

1st? When you are a ****ing pussy that has probably kissed some other guys dick don't post your problems here

LMAO

Trivers
12-19-2017, 12:37 PM
Sorry for your pain.

My first wife tried to be physically abusive when she had her period or drinking.

eharmony.com

Worked for me...I had to go 1/2 across the country to find 2nd wife. Wish I would have met her 20 years sooner.

Easy 6
12-19-2017, 12:41 PM
Sorry for your pain.

My first wife tried to be physically abusive when she had her period or drinking.

eharmony.com

Worked for me...I had to go 1/2 across the country to find 2nd wife. Wish I would have met her 20 years sooner.

I cant ****ing stand people who wanna fight when they're drunk, male or female... wont have them as friends or girlfriends, I drink to have a good time

T-post Tom
12-19-2017, 12:44 PM
If she's having non-exclusive boyfriends picking up her kids, my Spidey Sense tells me that there is danger.

Dan Harmon says that the trick to fighting depression is to talk about it constantly so that it doesn't overwhelm you. I think there is truth to that.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2017/12/01/a-depressed-fan-tweeted-at-writer-dan-harmon-his-heartfelt-response-left-many-on-twitter-in-tears/?utm_term=.9ff8ca64c8d7

T-post Tom
12-19-2017, 12:48 PM
Bisexuality doubles your options. And possibly your wardrobe.

DC.chief
12-19-2017, 12:50 PM
There's some good women out there so clean your dick off and get back at it

cosmo20002
12-19-2017, 12:52 PM
Maybe someday, I'll meet a nice girl who won't cheat on me or get drunk and try to beat me up...but I doubt it. I mean, I'm a good dude, don't cheat or hit the wimmin folk, good job, live on my own...I deserve to be treated with respect. So...I'm probably going to isolate myself for awhile. She was one of my best friends for a long time. It makes me sad.



That sucks. It does.
But face reality--you're a junkie and a deadbeat dad. Up till now you've lived in a van trying to make a buck playing tiny clubs in the sticks. And we've seen your pics...you're not exactly a catch. You're in no position to be picky. Take what you can get.
Hope that helps.

vailpass
12-19-2017, 12:54 PM
That sucks. It does.
But face reality--you're a junkie and a deadbeat dad. Up till now you've lived in a van trying to make a buck playing tiny clubs in the sticks. And we've seen your pics...you're not exactly a catch. You're in no position to be picky. Take what you can get.
Hope that helps.

Always good to get the homosexual perspective on relationships, thanks cosmo.

Buehler445
12-19-2017, 12:54 PM
I don't know, man. I happened to luck into my wife. I do my best to keep her happy because she puts up with my shit and is far, far better than I'm good for.

If she were to die or divorce me (God forbid - I'd be so fucked), I don't think I'd date again.

Many women are fucking crazy and hell if I can tell the difference between one that is crazy and one that is normal. And at this stage in my life I have shit (assets, career, life of my kids) to lose, so yeah, probably not happening. But if they are single at my age there is probably a reason and I don't intend to determine the reason.

My recommendation - Next chick you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread, don't hop in the sack with her straight away. If she's wanting to fuck you straight away, she's probably willing to fuck other dudes straight away - which ties directly to your problems. Hang around and be friends first, figure out if she's got all the other stuff you were looking for before the fucking. It's easier to distance yourself from friends than lovers.

Either that or just fuck and quit looking for the other stuff.

Beef Supreme
12-19-2017, 12:56 PM
If she's having non-exclusive boyfriends picking up her kids, my Spidey Sense tells me that there is danger.

Dan Harmon says that the trick to fighting depression is to talk about it constantly so that it doesn't overwhelm you. I think there is truth to that.

Yeah, I just love it when depressed people won't shut the fuck up about it. I'm sure everyone else does too.

MTG#10
12-19-2017, 01:03 PM
That sucks. It does.
But face reality--you're a junkie and a deadbeat dad. Up till now you've lived in a van trying to make a buck playing tiny clubs in the sticks. And we've seen your pics...you're not exactly a catch. You're in no position to be picky. Take what you can get.
Hope that helps.

You really are a piece of shit, I hope you know that.

Hog's Gone Fishin
12-19-2017, 01:10 PM
You need to go fishin

tooge
12-19-2017, 01:12 PM
Let me talk to her for ya. Maybe I can clear things up. I'll shoot her a text.

ptlyon
12-19-2017, 01:12 PM
Damn. I need to become a pizza guy

Rasputin
12-19-2017, 01:14 PM
You need to go fishin

BINGO!

88TG88
12-19-2017, 01:15 PM
pics of perky tits or gtfo btw

tooge
12-19-2017, 01:17 PM
seriously though, you need to be able to be happy being without a chick. Get to fishin and golfing with buddies. If something aweful left me without my wife of 24 years, I'd more than likely stay single. Not sure if that means forever, but certainly a possibility. I could fish, hunt, golf, go to the gym, watch sports, etc. for the rest of my life very contently. Hell, I do that now.......Wait.....What?

MTG#10
12-19-2017, 01:20 PM
The only bad part of being single is having to cook and clean for yourself

Pasta Giant Meatball
12-19-2017, 01:34 PM
You weren't exclusive, so nit sure why it surprises you she was gobbling cock on the side.

Pasta Giant Meatball
12-19-2017, 01:35 PM
Cheer uo...The Chiefs will fuck you good in January though!

tooge
12-19-2017, 01:49 PM
You weren't exclusive, so nit sure why it surprises you she was gobbling cock on the side.

I love how you let him down so nicely

cosmo20002
12-19-2017, 01:52 PM
You really are a piece of shit, I hope you know that.

A trailer park loser sticking up for a junkie deadbeat dad. It's very sweet.

RobBlake
12-19-2017, 01:53 PM
Better luck with women in 35-40 range

vailpass
12-19-2017, 01:55 PM
A trailer park loser sticking up for a junkie deadbeat dad. It's very sweet.

Shut the fuck up.

BucEyedPea
12-19-2017, 01:59 PM
Besides girls don't like nice guys they go for assholes & jerks.

That means all the assholes and jerks are married, leaving men like rabblerouser without decent women, right?

New World Order
12-19-2017, 01:59 PM
Volunteer at some non-profits where girls in their 20s volunteer.

Get involved in a downtown kc church that's designed for young adults (Rez downtown, The Cause etc...) Both have women.

redhed
12-19-2017, 02:00 PM
JFC. Don't date singlemom for anything meaningful. She's already had one failed relationship, you're just the next in line.
Singlemom needs another revenue stream.

Molitoth
12-19-2017, 02:00 PM
I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry, don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple, and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy every time your back is turned?? Someone I can CONVERSE with, and have a real connection with? Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?

Do they even make those anymore?


I married one of those girls. The trade-off is that she has very little sex-drive post babies.

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 02:01 PM
I was thinking, if her kids are into karate, and she was roughing you up when she got excited, maybe she just likes it rough. Have you tried spankings? Do you wear Hai Karate???

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Marcellus
12-19-2017, 02:05 PM
Better luck with women in 35-40 range

True, many older women on their second go around aren't interested in drama and bullshit.

Not all of them, but many of them of very stable and past their wild days.

Bwana
12-19-2017, 02:06 PM
There are a few, but you did indeed dodge a bullet. If you would have married that and then found out she was a stray bone catcher, you would have been fucked.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:13 PM
I don't know, man. I happened to luck into my wife. I do my best to keep her happy because she puts up with my shit and is far, far better than I'm good for.

If she were to die or divorce me (God forbid - I'd be so ****ed), I don't think I'd date again.

Many women are ****ing crazy and hell if I can tell the difference between one that is crazy and one that is normal. And at this stage in my life I have shit (assets, career, life of my kids) to lose, so yeah, probably not happening. But if they are single at my age there is probably a reason and I don't intend to determine the reason.

My recommendation - Next chick you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread, don't hop in the sack with her straight away. If she's wanting to **** you straight away, she's probably willing to **** other dudes straight away - which ties directly to your problems. Hang around and be friends first, figure out if she's got all the other stuff you were looking for before the ****ing. It's easier to distance yourself from friends than lovers.

Either that or just **** and quit looking for the other stuff.

She was a good friend for like 8 years before we "hopped in the sack".

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:14 PM
Let me talk to her for ya. Maybe I can clear things up. I'll shoot her a text.

Best of luck, and Godspeed, my friend.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:15 PM
The only bad part of being single is having to cook and clean for yourself

And draining your own snake.

Marcellus
12-19-2017, 02:16 PM
She was a good friend for like 8 years before we "hopped in the sack".

And you never got the vibe she was a bone hound?

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 02:16 PM
Get involved in a downtown kc church that's designed for young adults (Rez downtown, The Cause etc...) Both have women.

Take her home after Wednesday bible study. She'll sheepishly ask you in for milk and cookies, and to show you pictures of her cat. You sit in the living room and start watching the 700 Club. One thing leads to another. A little hand holding, a little peck on the cheek. Next thing you know she's straddling you in the bathtub, baptizing you in the name of daddy, junior and the spook. Then comes the part where she drags you butt nekked by your johnson into the bedroom, and she rides you like the wild west, scratching and clawing and shrieking RELEASE THE DEMONS at climax. Then after she collapses exhausted across your wet, bleeding splooge encrusted body, she rolls off, wraps herself in a bed sheet, gets on her knees in front of the picture of White Jesus in the living room and begs his forgiveness for her moment of weakness. She then hands you your pants and shoes, gives you a peck on the cheek, pushes you out the door and says "See you next Wednesday!"

Easy 6
12-19-2017, 02:17 PM
Volunteer at some non-profits where girls in their 20s volunteer.

Get involved in a downtown kc church that's designed for young adults (Rez downtown, The Cause etc...) Both have women.

Yep, he should try church, or even the black awareness rally... theres good girls there

<iframe seamless="seamless" style="width: 100%; border: none; display: block; max-width: 768px; height: 600px;" src="https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/embed/86cf2fdf-bb9c-4c3a-bee9-7ebdb7aa0ba7?autoplay=false"> </iframe>

Iowanian
12-19-2017, 02:21 PM
I know people on both sides of the fence on this one....I know a couple of great gals who don't have much luck finding guys who deserve them either.

It's only been 4 months, at your age exactly how invested are you? If she's been such a good friend prior to boning, you knew what she was about and how she treated her other studs. Wish her well and move on.

You don't have any problems a flesh light a case of malt liquor won't fix.

Also...Cosmo is a huge douchebag who deserves anything life throws on his belly.

Iconic
12-19-2017, 02:22 PM
Screening. Men and women these days don't know how to screen for the spouse they want in their life. Your best friend is your best friend not your future wife. People these days need to start judging who they give their time/love/sex to more carefully. See if your values align, ask questions- big ones, that will tell you a lot about how the person will manage stressful marriage situations. It avoids a lot of pain and suffering and tells you quickly the kind of person you're dealing with. If they don't fit the mold you like - cut them off. And learn to trade some things. Sometimes the perfect girl that won't cheat and has no drinking problem might not come with the best tits or may ask you to drink less. So what? It's worth it if she's sober and sucking your dick till death. Just my opinion on this topic in general.

vailpass
12-19-2017, 02:25 PM
She was a good friend for like 8 years before we "hopped in the sack".

That chapter ended and a new one began the minute you put the wood to her.
Did you not know that?

BucEyedPea
12-19-2017, 02:26 PM
Rabble,
You actually want a woman who does your laundry and the cleaning too? Yikes!
Be prepared to be the sole breadwinner if that's the case.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:29 PM
And you never got the vibe she was a bone hound?

Not to that extent. I mean, it's not like either one of us are hanging out in the bars anymore.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:31 PM
Yep, he should try church, or even the black awareness rally... theres good girls there

<iframe seamless="seamless" style="width: 100%; border: none; display: block; max-width: 768px; height: 600px;" src="https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/embed/86cf2fdf-bb9c-4c3a-bee9-7ebdb7aa0ba7?autoplay=false"> </iframe>
SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!?

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:32 PM
That chapter ended and a new one began the minute you put the wood to her.
Did you not know that?

I know this, now.

I was a total rube.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:34 PM
Look at the bright side. Now you don't have to blow a couple hundred on her and her kids for Christmas.

Yup.

Last minute shopping for my kid only.

Effing AWESOME.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:35 PM
Screening. Men and women these days don't know how to screen for the spouse they want in their life. Your best friend is your best friend not your future wife. People these days need to start judging who they give their time/love/sex to more carefully. See if your values align, ask questions- big ones, that will tell you a lot about how the person will manage stressful marriage situations. It avoids a lot of pain and suffering and tells you quickly the kind of person you're dealing with. If they don't fit the mold you like - cut them off. And learn to trade some things. Sometimes the perfect girl that won't cheat and has no drinking problem might not come with the best tits or may ask you to drink less. So what? It's worth it if she's sober and sucking your dick till death. Just my opinion on this topic in general.

Great advice, thank you.

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 02:37 PM
I know people on both sides of the fence on this one....I know a couple of great gals who don't have much luck finding guys who deserve them either.

It's only been 4 months, at your age exactly how invested are you? If she's been such a good friend prior to boning, you knew what she was about and how she treated her other studs. Wish her well and move on.

You don't have any problems a flesh light a case of malt liquor won't fix.

Also...Cosmo is a huge douchebag who deserves anything life throws on his belly.

All true.

cosmo20002
12-19-2017, 02:39 PM
LMAO at the coddling of rabbledipshit
Do you know anything about him? Drug addict. Deadbeat dad. Looks like a walrus. "Career" so far has been playing dive bars. WTF does he have to offer?

Then he comes on here blubbering about finding his soulmate--"someone that will actually cook, clean, do laundry..." JFC...
I'm sure the ladies are lining up for that.

el borracho
12-19-2017, 02:41 PM
So you wanted to be exclusive; she said she would be into it; and then you broke up? You effed up, you big drama queen. You are a grown up. Have the big talks before trading keys and ask for what you want.

vailpass
12-19-2017, 02:44 PM
I know this, now.

I was a total rube.

Nah, everyone has to learn.
Now you know. No matter what relationship you had with a girl it changes the minute you sleep with them. I've ruined more than one friendship by letting it get to sex and kept more than one by not.

Iowanian
12-19-2017, 02:44 PM
LMAO at the coddling of rabbledipshit
Do you know anything about him? Drug addict. Deadbeat dad. Looks like a walrus. "Career" so far has been playing dive bars. WTF does he have to offer?

Then he comes on here blubbering about finding his soulmate--"someone that will actually cook, clean, do laundry..." JFC...
I'm sure the ladies are lining up for that.


If it makes you feel better, I visualize you as a worn out trucker's cum sock sadly dropped into a snow muck covered, dimly lit parking lot.

vailpass
12-19-2017, 02:45 PM
LMAO at the coddling of rabbledipshit
Do you know anything about him? Drug addict. Deadbeat dad. Looks like a walrus. "Career" so far has been playing dive bars. WTF does he have to offer?

Then he comes on here blubbering about finding his soulmate--"someone that will actually cook, clean, do laundry..." JFC...
I'm sure the ladies are lining up for that.

Everyone has some shit in their rear view mirror. Difference is he's not a flaming hemorrhoid and you are.

Best part about you saying all this is you don't even know how bad it makes you look.

Rain Man
12-19-2017, 02:48 PM
Take her home after Wednesday bible study. She'll sheepishly ask you in for milk and cookies, and to show you pictures of her cat. You sit in the living room and start watching the 700 Club. One thing leads to another. A little hand holding, a little peck on the cheek. Next thing you know she's straddling you in the bathtub, baptizing you in the name of daddy, junior and the spook. Then comes the part where she drags you butt nekked by your johnson into the bedroom, and she rides you like the wild west, scratching and clawing and shrieking RELEASE THE DEMONS at climax. Then after she collapses exhausted across your wet, bleeding splooge encrusted body, she rolls off, wraps herself in a bed sheet, gets on her knees in front of the picture of White Jesus in the living room and begs his forgiveness for her moment of weakness. She then hands you your pants and shoes, gives you a peck on the cheek, pushes you out the door and says "See you next Wednesday!"

Are you sure that rabblerouser is catholic?

cosmo20002
12-19-2017, 02:53 PM
Everyone has some shit in their rear view mirror. Difference is he's not a flaming hemorrhoid and you are.

Best part about you saying all this is you don't even know how bad it makes you look.

Oh, he is. It just that he's your type of flaming hemorrhoid. And that's why you're not ripping him for his blubbering like you would some others.

He didn't know that fucking his friend would change things? :facepalm:

vailpass
12-19-2017, 02:57 PM
Oh, he is. It just that he's your type of flaming hemorrhoid. And that's why you're not ripping him for his blubbering like you would some others.

He didn't know that ****ing his friend would change things? :facepalm:

Read post #7.

It's a little late for you to want to join the conversation now that you've stank up the room. Next time maybe do so a little earlier.

Dartgod
12-19-2017, 02:59 PM
Read post #7.

It's a little late for you to want to join the conversation now that you've stank up the room. Next time maybe do so a little earlier.

Cosmo couldn't join the conversation now even if he wanted to. ROFL

vailpass
12-19-2017, 03:01 PM
Cosmo couldn't join the conversation now even if he wanted to. ROFL

Did he get moderated?

Dartgod
12-19-2017, 03:11 PM
Did he get moderated?

Yes

rabblerouser
12-19-2017, 03:18 PM
Jesus Christ man stiffen up. Go out and get yourself a grudge **** and you'll be alright again.

Also, I'm feeling this^

vailpass
12-19-2017, 03:23 PM
Also, I'm feeling this^

You're no better and no worse than the rest of us. Shake it off like water off a duck's back.

tooge
12-19-2017, 03:23 PM
A trailer park loser sticking up for a junkie deadbeat dad. It's very sweet.

I think what we have here is a good old tard fight.

Mr. Plow
12-19-2017, 03:29 PM
Rabble,
You actually want a woman who does your laundry and the cleaning too? Yikes!
Be prepared to be the sole breadwinner if that's the case.

So laundry & cleaning means they don't have to work?

tooge
12-19-2017, 03:34 PM
I do 90 percent of the cooking at the Tooge clan. She does the laundry. We split the cleaning. I clean all the shit I use, like the garage, mancave, shop, and kitchen, and she cleans all the other shit. Works for us.

gblowfish
12-19-2017, 03:40 PM
In my house I do most of the cooking, she does some. We both do laundry. She sews stuff for me. I do all the yard work, I take care of the cars. We both do dishes, but there's just two of us, so that's not a problem. I take the trash out, and do the bills. We split all the household expenses 50-50. I buy most of the groceries, she buys me clothes. It works for us.

Eleazar
12-19-2017, 03:45 PM
LMAO at the coddling of rabbledipshit
Do you know anything about him? Drug addict. Deadbeat dad. Looks like a walrus. "Career" so far has been playing dive bars. WTF does he have to offer?

Then he comes on here blubbering about finding his soulmate--"someone that will actually cook, clean, do laundry..." JFC...
I'm sure the ladies are lining up for that.

ROFL

Rain Man
12-19-2017, 03:47 PM
In my house I do most of the cooking, she does some. We both do laundry. She sews stuff for me. I do all the yard work, I take care of the cars. We both do dishes, but there's just two of us, so that's not a problem. I take the trash out, and do the bills. We split all the household expenses 50-50. I buy most of the groceries, she buys me clothes. It works for us.

I do 90 percent of the cooking at the Tooge clan. She does the laundry. We split the cleaning. I clean all the shit I use, like the garage, mancave, shop, and kitchen, and she cleans all the other shit. Works for us.

It sounds like neither one of you is what rabblerouser is looking for.

Pawnmower
12-19-2017, 03:48 PM
LMAO at the coddling of rabbledipshit
Do you know anything about him? Drug addict. Deadbeat dad. Looks like a walrus. "Career" so far has been playing dive bars. WTF does he have to offer?

Then he comes on here blubbering about finding his soulmate--"someone that will actually cook, clean, do laundry..." JFC...
I'm sure the ladies are lining up for that.


wow....

was this really necessary? I mean at the end of the day we are all brothers here, Chiefs Nation ...Chiefs Planet.

I mean I can be a dick to people and people are dicks to me at times here but i would fucking go out of my way to help anyone here....

Whats your deal? Why bring it to this level..? You must be a genuinely miserable person.

JakeLV
12-19-2017, 04:40 PM
In my house I do most of the cooking, she does some. We both do laundry. She sews stuff for me. I do all the yard work, I take care of the cars. We both do dishes, but there's just two of us, so that's not a problem. I take the trash out, and do the bills. We split all the household expenses 50-50. I buy most of the groceries, she buys me clothes. It works for us.

Biggest pain point in a relationship is finances. Sounds like you two have a system that works.

Iowanian
12-19-2017, 04:44 PM
I'm going to say one serious thing here and then move on to what I do.

Someone once told me if I ran into an asshole today, I ran into an asshole. If I run into Assholes every day, maybe I'm the asshole.

If someone is constantly ending up with 'bad relationships' they should see the common theme. Maybe what you need to do is focus on yourself, get your own shit in order, learn how to be happy with yourself and your life and keep an open mind for opportunity.

I know this much, when someone decides they need a girlfriend and go looking for that, they often overlook warning signs. Go live, do awesome things, surround yourself with good people and good things will happen.

Bwana
12-19-2017, 04:52 PM
Yes

Good call

DaneMcCloud
12-19-2017, 06:14 PM
I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry

I'm sure that there are millions upon millions of women in this country in that specific age range that can cook, clean and launder their clothes.

How many women will do that for you? Probably zero.

I've never had a woman-friend, girlfriend or wife-cook for me, clean up after me or do my laundry. Those are MY responsibilities, not someone else's responsibilities. I wouldn't want to be involved with a woman that wanted to do those things for me. Better yourself. Don't spend time doting on me. Blech.

don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple

I've never been a fan of women that drink excessively and quite frankly, anything other than a cocktail or two and wine. I am completely unattracted to women who drink beer, do shots, etc.

Now, if we're talking college age, that's a bit different. But a woman in her 30's and 40's, especially a single mother with children?

Again, blech.

and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy everytime your back is turned??

This is where you're required to actually VET the person that you're considering having a relationship. Talk to her about her father, brothers and uncles. Does she have a good relationship with them and does she speak fondly of them? Meet them, speak to them. They will most likely tell you if she's a pain in the ass.

If they have kind things to say about her, you should be in the clear. If not, run as fast as you can. A woman that doesn't have a healthy relationship with her father will never have a healthy relationship with you.

Someone I can CONVERSE with and have a real connection with?

About what? Your troubles? Your past troubles? Your problems? Probably not. Start FRESH. If you're both miserable, more misery will follow. Don't dwell on the past or past relationships that have failed. Talk about the future, not the past.

Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?

Again, this goes back to seriously vetting the person. Bangin' around is one thing - taking children to school is another. Don't mess around with a woman you don't know. Even though you've said you've known her for 8 years, it's pretty clear that you didn't know her at all.

Do they even make those anymore?

The kind of woman that's going to cook, clean and take care of you like it's 1950? Sure. She'll also suck every pizza guy's dick behind your back because you're treating her like shit.

Man up. Take care of yourself 100%. Don't allow someone to enter your life and take it over because the end result will be the same as this failed relationship.

eDave
12-19-2017, 06:19 PM
June Cleaver was fictional.

MTG#10
12-19-2017, 06:27 PM
I married one of those girls. The trade-off is that she has very little sex-drive post babies.

Holy shit. Im in the exact same situation. I have finally found a great faithful woman who is very attractive, cooks, cleans, and never complains. She treats me like gold, but she sucks in bed. She rarely turns down sex but she just doesnt do it for me at all. In the end though, she's worth it. Ive had plenty of nympho whores that couldnt cook and refused to clean, the shitty sex is worth it...I can always jerk off when she's in the shower.

scho63
12-19-2017, 06:30 PM
Take it from someone who knows and experienced it first hand, crazy chicks are all fantastic in the beginning but when things turn, and they eventually will, it goes ugly, dark and dangerous real fast.

You will be hurt deeply at first but it goes away quickly as the stress of a bad relationship goes away.

scho63
12-19-2017, 06:33 PM
Holy shit. Im in the exact same situation. I have finally found a great faithful woman who is very attractive, cooks, cleans, and never complains. She treats me like gold, but she sucks in bed. She rarely turns down sex but she just doesnt do it for me at all. In the end though, she's worth it. Ive had plenty of nympho whores that couldnt cook and refused to clean, the shitty sex is worth it...I can always jerk off when she's in the shower.

Serious question, why not try to help her get better? :hmmm:

You can't tell her she is a bad lay but there are ways to help her get better. Do you know if she even likes sex or does she do it out of duty and loyalty to you?

I've had some women that were less than stellar and most were open minded to learn. A couple just didn't like sex as much as I thought they did.

I've also had quite a few freaks and a couple of them who you would never guess were nymphos and great in bed.

They gotta be open minded.

notorious
12-19-2017, 06:36 PM
There are a few, but you did indeed dodge a bullet. If you would have married that and then found out she was a stray bone catcher, you would have been ****ed.

Everyone else would have been fucked.

Trivers
12-19-2017, 07:17 PM
LMAO at the coddling of rabbledipshit
Do you know anything about him? Drug addict. Deadbeat dad. Looks like a walrus. "Career" so far has been playing dive bars. WTF does he have to offer?

Then he comes on here blubbering about finding his soulmate--"someone that will actually cook, clean, do laundry..." JFC...
I'm sure the ladies are lining up for that.

Judge not, yet yea be judged.

Don't dog pile on a guy when he is down.

You are so lucky Austin puts up with your antics. If I owned CP, you would be perm banned.

Hammock Parties
12-19-2017, 07:23 PM
June Cleaver was fictional.

Nah, dawg. You should meet my mom. Or her mom. Or her sister.

They should all be sainted.

Hog's Gone Fishin
12-19-2017, 08:26 PM
In my house the wife stays the fuck away from me while I'm watching the Chiefs play.

It works for us.

Buehler445
12-19-2017, 08:56 PM
She was a good friend for like 8 years before we "hopped in the sack".

And you didn’t know she’d fuck anything with hang down? :spock:

stevieray
12-19-2017, 09:09 PM
Rabble,
You actually want a woman who does your laundry and the cleaning too? Yikes!
Be prepared to be the sole breadwinner if that's the case.

25 years and counting.

My wife loves being a homemaker.

cooper barrett
12-19-2017, 09:10 PM
You know my ex? Well, ****me it was her all along, I thought it was me. What a relief.

Oh, and give the dog some cashews, dogs love cashews.

It's not really a story, just me venting.

Last August, I took a job in Healthcare admin, good benefits, and got my own place out in the country, just me and the dog...

Around the same time, I started seeing a good friend of mine, she's been my friend for years...we started sleeping together. I mean, she's pretty smoking, perfect ass and perky titties. Awesome sexual chemistry. Before long I had a key to her place, we were planning meals and weekends together, I was picking her kids up from school and taking them to karate on Tues/Thurs...

And then things go haywire :

She starts nitpicking me to death.
Then about 2 weeks ago, I find the ubiquitous "hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour text" on her phone (by accident - not a snoop), to which she tried to explain away and told me also that we hadn't actually sat down and defined anything yet, but that if I wanted her to not talk with (or ****) other guys, and be exclusive, then she would be into that...

Well we broke up last night, for the best but man I'm ****ing depressed. She ****ing physically attacked me, neighbors called the cops, it was stupid. I'm embarrassed. Maybe someday, I'll meet a nice girl who won't cheat on me or get drunk and try to beat me up...but I doubt it. I mean, I'm a good dude, don't cheat or hit the wimmin folk, good job, live on my own...I deserve to be treated with respect. So...I'm probably going to isolate myself for awhile. She was one of my best friends for a long time. It makes me sad.

So, I don't need any "chin up" or "you're better off" or "well, what'd you expect!?"

I just need to know if there are ANY women between the ages of, say, 23 and 42 that actually cook, clean, do laundry, don't drink excessively, don't go batshit off the rails when they DO have a couple, and won't **** the neighbor or suck off the pizza guy everytime your back is turned?? Someone I can CONVERSE with, and have a real connection with? Someone who respects themselves and others, and are comfortable enough inside themselves to show that respect ALWAYS?

Do they even make those anymore?

cooper barrett
12-19-2017, 09:13 PM
JFC when will you stupid ****s learn?

And what lesson is this?

I'm waiting on the SAUTO's infinite knowledge of women and relationships.... I'm sure Clay will chime in soon....

cooper barrett
12-19-2017, 09:34 PM
Here we go again...

Rule 1, If the story sounds too good to be true, It usually is...

Rule 2. Never let a dependency become a relationship.

Rule 3 If it starts with "I've" It's bullshit.


Serious question, why not try to help her get better? :hmmm:

You can't tell her she is a bad lay but there are ways to help her get better. Do you know if she even likes sex or does she do it out of duty and loyalty to you?

had some women that were less than stellar and most were open minded to learn. A couple just didn't like sex as much as I thought they did.

I've also had quite a few freaks and a couple of them who you would never guess were nymphos and great in bed.

They gotta be open minded.

cooper barrett
12-19-2017, 09:35 PM
Nah, dawg. You should meet my mom. Or her mom. Or her sister.

They should all be sainted.

Why didn't I see that coming from him? I never knew Mrs Cleaver was German.

SAUTO
12-19-2017, 09:57 PM
I'm waiting on the SAUTO's infinite knowledge of women and relationships.... I'm sure Clay will chime in soon....

I posted my lesson.

And fuck yourself

Hog's Gone Fishin
12-19-2017, 11:08 PM
I see your X is making videos

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HuJ00nIGzT8" frameborder="0" gesture="media" allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 08:39 AM
It sounds like neither one of you is what rabblerouser is looking for.

That's probably the safest assumption ever, lol

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 08:41 AM
I'm going to say one serious thing here and then move on to what I do.

Someone once told me if I ran into an asshole today, I ran into an asshole. If I run into Assholes every day, maybe I'm the asshole.

If someone is constantly ending up with 'bad relationships' they should see the common theme. Maybe what you need to do is focus on yourself, get your own shit in order, learn how to be happy with yourself and your life and keep an open mind for opportunity.

I know this much, when someone decides they need a girlfriend and go looking for that, they often overlook warning signs. Go live, do awesome things, surround yourself with good people and good things will happen.

No shit, I'm not actively seeking one out.

I'm just wondering if I should even leave the light on at this point ROFL

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 08:46 AM
And you didn’t know she’d **** anything with hang down? :spock:

No, but I did know about the drinking issue, though, to be fair, she had been doing stellar.

But yeah I've just completely removed myself from the situation. It's really my only option.

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 08:51 AM
You're no better and no worse than the rest of us. Shake it off like water off a duck's back.

And this is reality.

LoneWolf
12-20-2017, 08:56 AM
Nah, dawg. You should meet my mom. Or her mom. Or her sister.

They should all be sainted.

Jehova’s Witness women are crazy.

SPchief
12-20-2017, 08:59 AM
Holy shit. Im in the exact same situation. I have finally found a great faithful woman who is very attractive, cooks, cleans, and never complains. She treats me like gold, but she sucks in bed. She rarely turns down sex but she just doesnt do it for me at all. In the end though, she's worth it. Ive had plenty of nympho whores that couldnt cook and refused to clean, the shitty sex is worth it...I can always jerk off when she's in the shower.

This is just pathetic.

wazu
12-20-2017, 09:54 AM
This is just pathetic.

I found it refreshingly honest. He’s self-aware and has made a conscious decision based on what he values. More people should do that.

raybec 4
12-20-2017, 09:59 AM
Serious question as I've heard this before and never believed it to be true:

How do you find a text message on someone else's phone "by accident"? I would never even pick up someone else's phone, much less read the texts. You obviously had reason to believe she was riding the hobby horse with someone else or you wouldn't have "accidentally" read her texts.

BucEyedPea
12-20-2017, 10:03 AM
So laundry & cleaning means they don't have to work?

Where did I say that—exactly?

Just sayin' most women work today, so such things are a partnership. I've never done a man's laundry—never will. When I am working a lot, we eat out or don't eat. Cleaning is shared. It's only fair to share if you're sharing in bringing in the dough. If not, only fair to earn one's keep and maintain the home, so the man can succeed and not worry about such things after working all day.

Mr. Plow
12-20-2017, 10:07 AM
Where did I say that—exactly?

Just sayin' most women work today, so such things are a partnership. I've never done a man's laundry—never will. When I am working a lot, we eat out or don't eat. Cleaning is shared. It's only fair to share if you're sharing in bringing in the dough. If not, only fair to earn one's keep and maintain the home, so the man can succeed and not worry about such things after working all day.

You literally said it in the message I quoted. "You want them to do laundry & clean? Yikes! You better be prepared to be the sole breadwinner."

But you explain it better here to which I agree. Both work - both share responsibilities around the house. One works - then one takes care of the house.

raybec 4
12-20-2017, 10:11 AM
One other thing, just to get some perspective on it, you should seriously reflect on the things she was "nit picking" and decide for yourself if they were things you really should work on

JohnnyHammersticks
12-20-2017, 10:20 AM
Life is no picnic. It's at times like these when you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, toughen up, buy a plane ticket to Thailand and bang 20 different Asian chicks in 7 days.

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 10:26 AM
Are you sure that rabblerouser is catholic?

ROFL. that while sequence was high-larious

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 10:29 AM
Serious question as I've heard this before and never believed it to be true:

How do you find a text message on someone else's phone "by accident"? I would never even pick up someone else's phone, much less read the texts. You obviously had reason to believe she was riding the hobby horse with someone else or you wouldn't have "accidentally" read her texts.
My phone had died and we were getting ready to go pick up friends, and her iPhone has all these tap notification things and I fumbled fingered the wrong text message.

Or the right one, as it turned out.

God works in mysterious ways.

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 10:32 AM
One other thing, just to get some perspective on it, you should seriously reflect on the things she was "nit picking" and decide for yourself if they were things you really should work on

Way ahead of ya there, and yes, some of them are things I've heard from my ex-wife for a decade, so...I've been taking a long, hard look at myself and my own culpability here, of which there is an ample amount...

Ebolapox
12-20-2017, 10:35 AM
My recommendation - Next chick you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread, don't hop in the sack with her straight away. If she's wanting to **** you straight away, she's probably willing to **** other dudes straight away - which ties directly to your problems. Hang around and be friends first, figure out if she's got all the other stuff you were looking for before the ****ing. It's easier to distance yourself from friends...

So... full on 40 year old virgin?

rocknrolla
12-20-2017, 11:34 AM
Since my divorce from a 13 year marriage in 2001, I've had many girlfriends but the longest one only lasted 6 months... finding the right woman is never guaranteed

You kinda gotta get lucky, then its a lot of hard work to keep it together

This. I got divorced in 2006, have had some girlfriends, but nothing worth long term. What I have learned you find the good ones when your not even looking

notorious
12-20-2017, 11:39 AM
Serious question as I've heard this before and never believed it to be true:

How do you find a text message on someone else's phone "by accident"? I would never even pick up someone else's phone, much less read the texts. You obviously had reason to believe she was riding the hobby horse with someone else or you wouldn't have "accidentally" read her texts.

iPhones show a quick message at the top when it dings. I have glanced my phone and know what the message is in less than a second.

It doesn't take much.

The Franchise
12-20-2017, 11:43 AM
iPhones show a quick message at the top when it dings. I have glanced my phone and know what the message is in less than a second.

It doesn't take much.

Then she's dumb as fuck because you can easily set it so that it just shows that you have a message instead of previewing the message.

notorious
12-20-2017, 11:44 AM
Then she's dumb as **** because you can easily set it so that it just shows that you have a message instead of previewing the message.

She was hoping Rab would see it. She's an unbalanced alcoholic whore. They survive and thrive in drama.

KCUnited
12-20-2017, 11:51 AM
"hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour"

I'm picturing a lady mullet and a tasmanian devil tattoo on her ankle. Sounds like you're much better off now.

ThaVirus
12-20-2017, 12:02 PM
"hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour"

I'm picturing a lady mullet and a tasmanian devil tattoo on her ankle. Sounds like you're much better off now.

And that's real

Buehler445
12-20-2017, 12:02 PM
So... full on 40 year old virgin?

40 year old virgin would be better than what he’s got now.

Gotta screen out the crazy or live in it.

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 12:35 PM
You literally said it in the message I quoted. "You want them to do laundry & clean? Yikes! You better be prepared to be the sole breadwinner."

But you explain it better here to which I agree. Both work - both share responsibilities around the house. One works - then one takes care of the house.


Yeah I wasn't saying that I wouldn't share in the duties...but this scenario is extremely hypothetical.

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 01:58 PM
"hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour"

I'm picturing a lady mullet and a tasmanian devil tattoo on her ankle. Sounds like you're much better off now.

She keeps it up and it's a certainty.

And yes...my world is much better now already.

TLO
12-20-2017, 02:52 PM
"hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour"

I'm picturing a lady mullet and a tasmanian devil tattoo on her ankle. Sounds like you're much better off now.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_XU9x8G7khv0/SlfF0Tb3zFI/AAAAAAAAHMg/Sm81knTQ8y8/s400/Reds_MulletLady.jpg

Marcellus
12-20-2017, 04:06 PM
"hey you wanna do me on your lunch hour"

I'm picturing a lady mullet and a tasmanian devil tattoo on her ankle. Sounds like you're much better off now.

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/wqb5K5564JSlW" width="480" height="428" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/animals-being-jerks-hope-seat-wqb5K5564JSlW">via GIPHY</a></p>

KCUnited
12-20-2017, 04:12 PM
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/KMZbQxp.gif" title="source: imgur.com" />

raybec 4
12-20-2017, 04:39 PM
Whole family at the state fair


https://duhmerica.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/trash.jpeg

stumppy
12-20-2017, 05:01 PM
Whole family at the state fair


https://duhmerica.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/trash.jpeg

That picture looks almost exactly like an old employee of mine and his family.
Couple differences, Mom should beholding a can of Bud., smoking a non filter palmall, and her belly was all beer gut. The boy would normally be checking his sisters' tits out while 14 year old sis would be giving any man around the 'Come fuck me' look.
They were truly a disturbing family.

stumppy
12-20-2017, 05:03 PM
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/KMZbQxp.gif" title="source: imgur.com" />

ROFL

KINGPIN for TMFW.

raybec 4
12-20-2017, 05:04 PM
That picture looks almost exactly like an old employee of mine and his family.
Couple differences, Mom should beholding a can of Bud., smoking a non filter palmall, and her belly was all beer gut. The boy would normally be checking his sisters' tits out while 14 year old sis would be giving any man around the 'Come **** me' look.
They were truly a disturbing family.

The kids cleaned their act up and became karate experts, didn't you read the thread?

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 05:08 PM
The kids cleaned their act up and became karate experts, didn't you read the thread?

No...that isn't at all how the story has turned...

stumppy
12-20-2017, 05:12 PM
The kids cleaned their act up and became karate experts, didn't you read the thread?

Nope, Seen the picture and said 'OMG, that's Bill's family'. ROFL

rabblerouser
12-20-2017, 05:20 PM
Nope, Seen the picture and said 'OMG, that's Bill's family'. ROFL

Poor, poor Bill.

I want to take this opportunity to thank Chiefs Planet, every poster here (except SAUTO), for this sobering, unfiltered glimpse of what my future held with Alcoholic Babymamma Drama and the 2 shitlins.

I've got my own kid, a decent job, trucks to work on, flooring to fix, a record to mix...

What the CUCK was I even doing hanging out with that crazy bitch?? The pussy was damn good, great even.

But I've had great pussies before her, I shall have some great ones after, as well...

Because NO pussy is worth that shit.
Better off beating off.

SAUTO
12-20-2017, 05:23 PM
I gave you a sobering unfiltered glimpse of what's been happening to you.

Cum kisses.

Rain Man
12-20-2017, 05:56 PM
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.

stumppy
12-20-2017, 06:55 PM
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.



Or......will she let you PIIHB.

seclark
12-20-2017, 07:29 PM
cum kisses sound fuckin nasty.
not in.
sec

rabblerouser
12-21-2017, 08:41 AM
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.

https://youtu.be/vwbKYcBdVyk

rabblerouser
12-21-2017, 08:42 AM
I know these equations. I just forgot?

Pusay induced amnesia.

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 09:18 AM
Whole family at the state fair


https://duhmerica.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/trash.jpeg


WRONG:

St Louis Verizon Amphitheater !st annual Cru-Fest 2008

https://s26.postimg.org/hcun5bg5l/cru.png

rabblerouser
12-21-2017, 09:32 AM
WRONG:

St Louis Verizon Amphitheater !st annual Cru-Fest 2008

https://s26.postimg.org/hcun5bg5l/cru.png
Ha.

Take a ride...

On the WILD SIDE!!??

Scary bidness.

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 09:34 AM
I had one like that, body made for sin. We went to Michael Bublé and she bitched about the seats, my having to stop on the way, yada yada. I bet a guy playing pool after the show at the Red Velvet, that if I lost, I'd leave her with him. Hard as I tried to lose... She threw up in the baby sitters driveway and asked me if I'd help clean it up the next morning.
Never saw her again.

It's best that you ran, not walked away from that one.

https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Crazy+hot+chart_4d5de3_5250922.jpg


Poor, poor Bill.

I want to take this opportunity to thank Chiefs Planet, every poster here (except SAUTO), for this sobering, unfiltered glimpse of what my future held with Alcoholic Babymamma Drama and the 2 shitlins.

I've got my own kid, a decent job, trucks to work on, flooring to fix, a record to mix...

What the CUCK was I even doing hanging out with that crazy bitch?? The pussy was damn good, great even.

But I've had great pussies before her, I shall have some great ones after, as well...

Because NO pussy is worth that shit.
Better off beating off.

rabblerouser
12-21-2017, 09:58 AM
I had one like that, body made for sin. We went to Michael Bublé and she bitched about the seats, my having to stop on the way, yada yada. I bet a guy playing pool after the show at the Red Velvet, that if I lost, I'd leave her with him. Hard as I tried to lose... She threw up in the baby sitters driveway and asked me if I'd help clean it up the next morning.
Never saw her again.

It's best that you ran, not walked away from that one.

https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Crazy+hot+chart_4d5de3_5250922.jpg
Yup. I forgot the matrix.

She was 'friend zoned' for years, reappeared in the 'fun zone...but the crazy/hot matrix doesn't account for those that appear to be "fun zone" but are actually truly always firmly in the "danger zone". Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.

She should have Kenny 'Danger Zone' Loggins following her around, singing her theme song...

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 11:15 AM
Yup. I forgot the matrix.

She was 'friend zoned' for years, reappeared in the 'fun zone...but the crazy/hot matrix doesn't account for those that appear to be "fun zone" but are actually truly always firmly in the "danger zone". Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.

She should have Kenny 'Danger Zone' Loggins following her around, singing her theme song...

I picked one up, grabbed her purse, carried her outside my house and went back inside, just like Fred Flintstone putting the cat out for the night. She tried everything to get back in. She finally got the hint and got in her car and left. I have a couple more stories about that one I could share but not here...

Believe me I've met crazy. The one I have now is just crazy enough for me not to get bored with, and smart enough to know a good thing when she sees it. Plus, I like it when people I know mistake her as my daughter:D:D:D:D

There are a few good points in RainMan's post that if I am ever single again, I will reference. Hang in there, just when you're about to give up hope one will come your way.

My advice, Never date someone who is Dependant on you or has more problems than you...for obvious reasons.

I am a sucker for a hot redhead, share pictures?

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 11:21 AM
Could you show us a completed worksheet? Maybe some baseline numbers? For a friend...:D:D

Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.

redhed
12-21-2017, 11:41 AM
Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.

...

Firecrotch, hmmm? "Ya spins the wheel, ya takes ya chances!"
I've never met one that wasn't batshit insane.

In58men
12-21-2017, 11:59 AM
Stopped reading after "perfect ass and perky tits" to see if there were any pictures.

Thread fail. I'm moving on too.

rabblerouser
12-21-2017, 12:02 PM
I don't think I have any pics, honestly. She's not on fb, and pics aren't really my thing 'cause I'm a dude...

rabblerouser
12-21-2017, 12:04 PM
Firecrotch, hmmm? "Ya spins the wheel, ya takes ya chances!"
I've never met one that wasn't batshit insane.

That shit IS addicting.

The Firecrotch. Not the batshit part.

Unfortunately, one always seems to follow the other.

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 12:22 PM
Cars and women... Never dead with red!!!

Rain Man
12-21-2017, 12:26 PM
Could you show us a completed worksheet? Maybe some baseline numbers? For a friend...:D:D

I'll work something up, but it's so multi-dimensional that it's tough to display. This is why we can't figure women out.

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 01:12 PM
I'll work something up, but it's so multi-dimensional that it's tough to display. This is why we can't figure women out.

I just had to set you up for the punchline. Do you want a drum roll too?

Easy 6
12-21-2017, 01:24 PM
Whole family at the state fair


https://duhmerica.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/trash.jpeg

Holy. smokes.

Insane Clown Posse tattoo - check
Wrasslin t-shirt - check
Dope t-shirt - check
Pregnant old lady with her pants unbuttoned - check

So bad its good

gblowfish
12-21-2017, 01:41 PM
Holy. smokes.

Insane Clown Posse tattoo - check
Wrasslin t-shirt - check
Dope t-shirt - check
Pregnant old lady with her pants unbuttoned - check

So bad its good

I'll bet their trailer smells like cat piss.

Easy 6
12-21-2017, 01:53 PM
I'll bet their trailer smells like cat piss.

And body odor, dont forget the body odor

Beef Supreme
12-21-2017, 01:54 PM
I'm going to guess it smells like someone took a piss in an old gym shoe that they were using as an ash tray.

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 02:11 PM
Holy. smokes.

Insane Clown Posse tattoo - check
Wrasslin t-shirt - check
Dope t-shirt - check
Pregnant old lady with her pants unbuttoned - check

So bad its good

If it were my "White Trash Goes to the City" photo shoot, I'd have the first cousin who knocked up the wife in the picture too.:D I am too lazy to photo shop him in.

cooper barrett
12-21-2017, 02:17 PM
I'm going to guess it smells like someone took a piss in an old gym shoe that they were using as an ash tray.

I must ask but is this you in the picture or just how did you know that the cat pissed in the old gym shoe they were using as an ash tray?

Coincidence? I don't think so:D:D:D:D

rabblerouser
12-22-2017, 07:49 AM
I must ask but is this you in the picture or just how did you know that the cat pissed in the old gym shoe they were using as an ash tray?

Coincidence? I don't think so:D:D:D:D

ROFL

Of course, I have nothing to laugh about: driving in to work today and I realize that I've been living side 2 of GN'R's UYI II via the middle of MO, and that, my friends, is no laughing matter.

rabblerouser
12-27-2017, 09:07 AM
So I wrecked my truck yesterday, but I can fix it. It sucks, but I've worked on that truck before.

The real funny was this text this morning, to which I did not, nor do I plan on, replying to :

R u going to get those cabinets out of my garage? The only reply need be a yes or no and a time and date this week. They will be on the curb in pieces by friday if not.

SAUTO
12-27-2017, 09:19 AM
Obviously you are begging or she wouldn't be telling you the only reply she needs is a yes or no.

Ebolapox
12-27-2017, 09:21 AM
NEVER PUT THE PUSSY ON A PEDASTAL!!!

stevieray
12-27-2017, 09:25 AM
So I wrecked my truck yesterday, but I can fix it. It sucks, but I've worked on that truck before.

The real funny was this text this morning, to which I did not, nor do I plan on, replying to :

Go get you shit without a word snd put her in your rear view mirror.

she just told you who she is....

Pasta Giant Meatball
12-27-2017, 10:18 AM
Obviously you are begging or she wouldn't be telling you the only reply she needs is a yes or no.

Absolutely.

raybec 4
12-27-2017, 10:25 AM
https://ruthspoetry.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/man-begging-woman.jpg

rabblerouser
12-27-2017, 10:28 AM
Go get you shit without a word snd put her in your rear view mirror.

she just told you who she is....

I'm not even replying, much less going and picking those things up; I've gotta work, and work on my truck. I don't have time for these shenanigans.

Those cabinets are SOLID. If she actually has them in pieces out on the street by Friday, then she earned it.

Sometimes a bitch gotta do what a bitch gotta do.

rabblerouser
12-27-2017, 10:29 AM
NEVER PUT THE PUSSY ON A PEDASTAL!!!

What the fuck you mean by "put the pussy on a pedestal?"

rabblerouser
05-30-2018, 07:22 AM
So...guess who texted me yesterday?

loochy
05-30-2018, 07:39 AM
So...guess who texted me yesterday?

The guy that played Gimli in Lord of the Rings?

Don Corlemahomes
05-30-2018, 07:47 AM
So...guess who texted me yesterday?

A sentient blow-up doll with a gambling problem and an urgent need for cash

patteeu
05-30-2018, 07:47 AM
DaneMcCloud?

burt
05-30-2018, 07:58 AM
rabble-rouser from the future telling you to quit texting her?

loochy
05-30-2018, 08:09 AM
So...guess who texted me yesterday?

The dirty high school chick that KCrockaholic was scheming on?

burt
05-30-2018, 08:16 AM
Marc Knofler?

raybec 4
05-30-2018, 08:18 AM
Steve Buscemi?

patteeu
05-30-2018, 08:21 AM
I'm dying to know.

dj56dt58
05-30-2018, 08:35 AM
the pregnant chick with the unbuttoned pants in the white trash photo?

LoneWolf
05-30-2018, 09:03 AM
Roger Goodell telling you that the NFL is in fact rigged?

Iowanian
05-30-2018, 09:15 AM
It was midnight vulture, just letting you know that he was smashing ole girl on his motorcycle

Rain Man
05-30-2018, 09:57 AM
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?

patteeu
05-30-2018, 10:01 AM
Who would have a phone with text capability that might text rabblerouser? Hmmm. I can rule out my Uncle Joe. He's my mom's brother and he doesn't text.

Pasta Giant Meatball
05-30-2018, 10:05 AM
It was a T Rex wasn't it?

Iowanian
05-30-2018, 10:41 AM
She called me too man.

She asked if I wanted a snooter of coke out of her belly button and then to watch cartoons and chill and I was like Fuck no, Snake....I got shit to do.

raybec 4
05-30-2018, 10:56 AM
She called me too man.

She asked if I wanted a snooter of coke out of her belly button and then to watch cartoons and chill and I was like **** no, Snake....I got shit to do.

You missed out on some groovy cartoons man, classic Warner Brothers stuff. You shoulda been there.

wutamess
05-30-2018, 11:12 AM
So...guess who texted me yesterday?

Did you respond? What she say?

Don Corlemahomes
05-31-2018, 07:04 AM
Did you respond? What she say?

"Wanna have sex that will undoubtedly result in you needing high dose antibiotics or a dick amputation?"

listopencil
05-31-2018, 10:55 AM
Is this still going on? Jesus. Look, get a new phone number. It's not that hard. I have a crazy ex that can only message me through Facebook. There is no other way for her to pretend to be communicating with me. I could block her, but I look at it as the relief valve that keeps her from hunting me down and approaching me in person so it's worth it.

oldman
05-31-2018, 11:38 AM
I was going to say Roseanne Barr, but I see that question was answered. I guess the 1st question I would have had was if she had cleaned the lint and other foreign debris out of her belly button. I'm a clean old man and I expect my women to be so, too. Since we know she isn't, I believe you gave the correct response.

Iowanian
05-31-2018, 12:50 PM
Because brother rabble disappeared after this post, it's one of two answers.

It was either this broad letting him know she was boiling a rabbit in a pot on his stove, or his parole officer sitting in the driveway with a random piss test.

Say hi to Mr Blonde.

rabblerouser
05-31-2018, 05:53 PM
I don't want to fuck up these responses!

Iowanian
05-31-2018, 08:42 PM
We need answers to some questions.

Exactly how much blow would her belly button hold? A thimble or could you make a bunt cake in that sonnabitch? A jello mold.

Pasta Giant Meatball
05-31-2018, 10:35 PM
She saw you made the cut in the dumbass polls

Chaunceythe3rd
05-31-2018, 11:03 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI02MYwwUzM

Enough said.

rabblerouser
06-01-2018, 03:08 AM
We need answers to some questions.

Exactly how much blow would her belly button hold? A thimble or could you make a bunt cake in that sonnabitch? A jello mold.

She's skinny, so no bundt cake. Pretty cute, and extremely...skilled. Damn good blowjobs, better than most cute girls...

Except that cute face and those awesome BJs come with a price...she makes you pay with your SOUL.

It's one of those situations where you'd meet her and go "Damn! Go rabblerouser!" But the more she talks (and drinks) the uglier she gets...

Total disaster - just add alcohol.

The poor girl seems incapable of making the choice to NOT drink.

Like she has a problem.


She saw you made the cut in the dumbass polls

Ah, to be recognized by the greats...

It's a wonderful thing.

rabblerouser
06-01-2018, 03:09 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI02MYwwUzM

Enough said.

I doubt I ever get married again.

It would take an extremely special person with the patience of Job.

Iowanian
06-01-2018, 08:49 AM
Sounds to me like you need to get her a web cam and a six pack=profit.

raybec 4
06-01-2018, 08:52 AM
Sounds to me like you need to get her a web cam and a six pack=profit.

They already do bum fights. It's an established market, he could make a killing.

rabblerouser
06-05-2018, 07:45 AM
Anyone here IT?

I can be 'talent provider'...

Ebolapox
06-05-2018, 09:32 AM
You on tilt, rouser?

rabblerouser
06-05-2018, 12:12 PM
You on tilt, rouser?

"FREE PLAY"

MTG#10
06-05-2018, 02:48 PM
She's skinny, so no bundt cake. Pretty cute, and extremely...skilled. Damn good blowjobs, better than most cute girls...

Except that cute face and those awesome BJs come with a price...she makes you pay with your SOUL.

It's one of those situations where you'd meet her and go "Damn! Go rabblerouser!" But the more she talks (and drinks) the uglier she gets...

Total disaster - just add alcohol.

The poor girl seems incapable of making the choice to NOT drink.

Like she has a problem.


I dated a girl like that once, only she was annoying sober too and gave terrible head...face and body of a model though. She once tried to guilt-trip into taking her on a hot-air balloon ride even though she knew I was broke from recently becoming a single father. A real piece of work, that one.

cwhocares
06-05-2018, 03:23 PM
WHINE WHINE WHINE S**t happens and it was your turn. Suck it up and get back out there or become a priest. Did you think you would really find clinical advise here?

rabblerouser
06-05-2018, 07:06 PM
I dated a girl like that once, only she was annoying sober too and gave terrible head...face and body of a model though. She once tried to guilt-trip into taking her on a hot-air balloon ride even though she knew I was broke from recently becoming a single father. A real piece of work, that one.

Hot air balloon ride?

Predarat
06-06-2018, 07:38 AM
Yes but they are rare. Very very rare. The odds of successfully finding one in your lifetime are approximately 3720 to 1.

rabblerouser
06-19-2018, 08:15 PM
Yes but they are rare. Very very rare. The odds of successfully finding one in your lifetime are approximately 3720 to 1.

Mine are more like 850000 to 1.

About to get a haircut though...

rabblerouser
06-19-2018, 08:16 PM
I'll bet their trailer smells like cat piss.

That's crack.

Crack smells like cat piss.

Or so I hear...

rabblerouser
06-19-2018, 08:17 PM
Oh wait, that's crack mixed with cat piss.

It's all about the subtle differences.