Got em' A Demonpenz story

[Demonpenz]

When I was in high school I was fat. I have been fat and somewhat not fat on and off again in my life. One of my pet peeves is when people get butt hurt that I don't eat their cake or whatever or I bring my own food if we go out to eat. I mean fuck other people I am the one that has to live with my FUPA. It is that backstory that I go into this story. I love lifting weights and I love going to the gym. My body is not attractive but because I have depression I get a nice boost by working out. I used to go to hard core workout places. 24 hour fitness in KC and then places in st joseph that firefighters and such lift at. In my late 30's now I have cut back on lifting and just work out mainly for fun. I have had issues with being dizzy lifting hard so I really am like over lifting hard. I got a cheap membership at planet fitness. Planet fitness has no like squat rack or bench it is all easy ass shit for people to workout and not train. It is always annoying when they offer me a bagel or tootsie pop or some other shit when I am counting calories. I will take in 1500 calories and try to burn 200 or so on the treadmill to cut weight or at-least not gain wait. I see some fat people eating way way way more calories than they burned before they even leave. It is annoying I have to say no at a place that should be about not giving out junk food. So Saturday I get this call "Hey this is BRAD from Planet Fitness, for christmas and the holiday season we are having chocolate cake you should swing by and have some" This was on my voice mail. I was like what a fucking joke. Planet fitness this is why people are still fucking fat there. I texted all my buddies. "Man planet fitness is dumb they having cake, lame as hell. So I delete the voice message. I get another call "Hey just wanted to see if you were coming by to get cake because we need to know how many slices to get" by this time I was seriously pissed. Its fucking christmas season I got enough shit on my mind why is planet fitness so obsessed with making me fat. I was thinking about what to say to the guy because I was like man calling a person two times for some bullshit like cake is a waste of my time. GTFO with your cake. So anyway I just made a mental note to let them know not to call me again and I tried to enjoy my day. Well come to find out Simply Red was the one making the calls because he knows how much I hate when planet fitness pulls some of that shit. I definately GOT GOT.

[Hammock Parties]

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/82/8208731cace7e39f9ae527e5ea2344b92c5119635d0cd8ec19fdd510ed593b31.jpg

[Buehler445]

LOL. Well done SR. Well done.

[St. Patty's Fire]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3ZQJnWA1lJI" frameborder="0" gesture="media" allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[St. Patty's Fire]

Also, this Simply Red fellow seems nice.

[TigeRRUppeRRcut]

Why u heff 2 b mad?

[Deberg_1990]

No judgement

[ChiliConCarnage]

tldr

[ptlyon]

tldr

Simply red, planet fitness, something or other, fat, cake

[Why Not?]

Simply red, planet fitness, something or other, fat, cake

These may be the best cliff notes I have ever read.

[HemiEd]

When I was in high school I was fat. I have been fat and somewhat not fat on and off again in my life. One of my pet peeves is when people get butt hurt that I don't eat their cake or whatever or I bring my own food if we go out to eat. I mean **** other people I am the one that has to live with my FUPA. It is that backstory that I go into this story. I love lifting weights and I love going to the gym. My body is not attractive but because I have depression I get a nice boost by working out. I used to go to hard core workout places. 24 hour fitness in KC and then places in st joseph that firefighters and such lift at. In my late 30's now I have cut back on lifting and just work out mainly for fun. I have had issues with being dizzy lifting hard so I really am like over lifting hard. I got a cheap membership at planet fitness. Planet fitness has no like squat rack or bench it is all easy ass shit for people to workout and not train. It is always annoying when they offer me a bagel or tootsie pop or some other shit when I am counting calories. I will take in 1500 calories and try to burn 200 or so on the treadmill to cut weight or at-least not gain wait. I see some fat people eating way way way more calories than they burned before they even leave. It is annoying I have to say no at a place that should be about not giving out junk food. So Saturday I get this call "Hey this is BRAD from Planet Fitness, for christmas and the holiday season we are having chocolate cake you should swing by and have some" This was on my voice mail. I was like what a ****ing joke. Planet fitness this is why people are still ****ing fat there. I texted all my buddies. "Man planet fitness is dumb they having cake, lame as hell. So I delete the voice message. I get another call "Hey just wanted to see if you were coming by to get cake because we need to know how many slices to get" by this time I was seriously pissed. Its ****ing christmas season I got enough shit on my mind why is planet fitness so obsessed with making me fat. I was thinking about what to say to the guy because I was like man calling a person two times for some bullshit like cake is a waste of my time. GTFO with your cake. So anyway I just made a mental note to let them know not to call me again and I tried to enjoy my day. Well come to find out Simply Red was the one making the calls because he knows how much I hate when planet fitness pulls some of that shit. I definately GOT GOT.ROFL That is a good one.
Yes, I was able to read the whole thing without any paragraph spacing or breaks.

I can identify with the calorie counting. Been doing it for over a year now and it can be awkward around friends. It's a life style change.

Recently at a birthday party for a neighbor this nice young lady had made cupcakes and was kind of hurt that I wouldn't eat one.

[loochy]

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/68/6889bbe0811d00adbcf99a7d155b6c2e17ae547356df92bf0a05f0d762109b0f.jpg

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

What food do you bring to restaurants? I imagine servers get annoyed.

[Rausch]

This is like AA giving out free shots...

[cabletech94]

thread of the year qualifier? at least honorable mention with SR making a cameo?

dilly dilly!!

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Cool fake story

[BWillie]

What food do you bring to restaurants? I imagine servers get annoyed.

I honestly didn't think you could even do that. Thinking about bringing a chicken leg to a vegan restaurant, for shits and giggles.

[T-post Tom]

Simply Red is nice. I like him.

[rabblerouser]

This makes me like SR even more...

[Demonpenz]

What food do you bring to restaurants? I imagine servers get annoyed.

I just bring chicken and who cares what the server thinks. I am just there in business or family obligations.

[LoneWolf]

Cool fake story

My thoughts exactly. I will need SR to confirm before I believe a word of it.

I know this won’t be a popular opinion, but Demonpenz is by far my least favorite poster on CP.

[eDave]

My thoughts exactly. I will need SR to confirm before I believe a word of it.

I know this won’t be a popular opinion, but Demonpenz is by far my least favorite poster on CP.

How can that be?

[LoneWolf]

How can that be?

I find his online persona and posts to be stupid, boring, and worthless. Like I said, I know this won’t be a popular opinion.

[KS Smitty]

I find his online persona and posts to be stupid, boring, and worthless. Like I said, I know this won’t be a popular opinion.

Yet you clicked on a thread with his name in the title and authored by him... :hmmm:

[LoneWolf]

Yet you clicked on a thread with his name in the title and authored by him... :hmmm:

Boring day on Christmas break. Sorry.

[KS Smitty]

Boring day on Christmas break. Sorry.

Being a smartass, Sorry back.

[Rasputin]

Simply Red is nice. I like him.

SR seems nice.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

ROFL

Good for SR!

[seclark]

what the fuck is going on here?
penz and red jacking around with cake and working out during the holidays?
i have no idea what's happening.
sec

[Buck]

GOT HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM

[mikeyis4dcats.]

Demonpenz is Brad?

[Demonpenz]

Red will have to confirm what name he used. The thing that really pissed me off as well is that he called when he was obviously driving. I was like this mother fucker right here is calling me about some God Damn chocolate cake while he is driving. What is planet fitness obsession with cake? I also agree that once you figure out my shtick it is stupid and boring. No worries there. I actually used to be worse but Zack got on my case and I tried to at-least be mindful about the same shit over and over.

[cabletech94]

dude, its okay to be different. trust me, i know. spread your wings and fly, braugh.

[loochy]

I find his online persona and posts to be stupid, boring, and worthless. Like I said, I know this won’t be a popular opinion.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3216/2388013466_2f024dfd06_b.jpg

[ptlyon]

Demonpenz is Brad?

Brad from fast times?

[vailpass]

LMAO

[vailpass]

Red will have to confirm what name he used. The thing that really pissed me off as well is that he called when he was obviously driving. I was like this mother ****er right here is calling me about some God Damn chocolate cake while he is driving. What is planet fitness obsession with cake? I also agree that once you figure out my shtick it is stupid and boring. No worries there. I actually used to be worse but Zack got on my case and I tried to at-least be mindful about the same shit over and over.

Fuck zach he's a pussy. Go back to your unfiltered schtick.