Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 2 - stumppy versus Chiefs4thewin

[Rain Man]

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.



Venue - a pre-school full of children
Starting Distance - 51 feet


stumppy

Main Weapon - Crossbow and 6 bolts
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 55 seconds
Special Factors - None


Chiefs4thewin

Main Weapon - Native American bow and 6 arrows
Backup Weapon - 20 sharp small ninja stars

Prep Time - 6 Minutes
Special Factors - None

[Hangin'WithMahomes]

Easy victory for Stumpy

[Why Not?]

Crossbows can be very difficult to operate at times. Plus Native American bow and arrows are more badass.

[The Franchise]

This one is coming down to who can beat the other person to death with their fists. There are going to be 12 preschool children that get shot with arrows and bolts.

[Rain Man]

This is a close one for me. I would think that the native bow can be fired much faster, so Chiefs4thewin can get more shots off if the bout doesn't end quickly. But the crossbow is a much more devastating weapon if it does score a hit, and I feel like it might be easier to maneuver and aim in a crowded preschool setting. It might be more accurate too, though I'm not sure of that.

I'm going with stumppy on the bet that both guys can find cover pretty quickly and it devolves into a target competition.

[Naptown Chief]

Are they steel bolts? If so just shoot through the kids. They were going to be ****ing asshole adults anyway

I'm going with Stumpy

[Otter]

I'm going with the Native American bow for speed. Remember the Mongols?

[Rain Man]

I'm going with the Native American bow for speed. Remember the Mongols?

I'm kind of fascinated by how people develop things independently. The Native Americans and Mongols both developed bows before 1492, right? It seems like that's a pretty specific technology to develop.

You look at things like pottery and clothing and language and cities and stuff, and it seems like there's a cookbook for developing civilization, and everyone follows it. You may have a few oddities like the Native Americans not smelting ores, but for the most part there seems to be a set progression.

[Shag]

Chiefs4thewin just needs to dodge the first bolt, which shouldn't be too hard given the newness of the weapon. If he succeeds, he can just charge at stumppy, chucking stars - stumppy will never be able to reload the crossbow. Get close enough to do some damage with the stars, weakening stumppy's resistance, then either shoot close range with the bow, or just go stabby-stabby with the longer arrows of the bow.

The crossbow reload time and difficulty makes it a hindrance in this fight.

[wazu]

One factor not yet mentioned: Chiefs4thewin has 6 minutes to hand out the ninja stars to children and teach them the “Stab Stummpy” game.

[MarkDavis'Haircut]

Crossbow all day.

[The Franchise]

Is either one a midget? They could blend in.

[stumppy]

c4tw is dead meat.

[Otter]

I'm kind of fascinated by how people develop things independently. The Native Americans and Mongols both developed bows before 1492, right? It seems like that's a pretty specific technology to develop.

You look at things like pottery and clothing and language and cities and stuff, and it seems like there's a cookbook for developing civilization, and everyone follows it. You may have a few oddities like the Native Americans not smelting ores, but for the most part there seems to be a set progression.


The Mongols uprise and downfall is fascinating. No idea why it's not considered as significant in history as the Roman Empire.


Bow vs. Crossbow all skill levels being equal...Crossbows are training wheels for marksmen.



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[stumppy]

I never miss.:D

[Hydrae]

Chiefs4thewin just needs to dodge the first bolt, which shouldn't be too hard given the newness of the weapon. If he succeeds, he can just charge at stumppy, chucking stars - stumppy will never be able to reload the crossbow. Get close enough to do some damage with the stars, weakening stumppy's resistance, then either shoot close range with the bow, or just go stabby-stabby with the longer arrows of the bow.

The crossbow reload time and difficulty makes it a hindrance in this fight.

My thought as well.

Question: Can either of them grab a kid to use as a shield? If they both do that this may just be a stalemate.

[TimBone]

One factor not yet mentioned: Chiefs4thewin has 6 minutes to hand out the ninja stars to children and teach them the “Stab Stummpy” game.This. Chiefs4thewin is the winner. Sorry, Stump.

Also, Wu-Tang is for the children.

[Renegade]

Chiefs4theWin. Even if both participants get their shots off, the arrow will be easier to retrieve versus the bolt, plus the Native American bow has withstood the test of time as a classic weapon.

[srvy]

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/RingedForsakenAlaskanmalamute-max-1mb.gif

[srvy]

Stumpy going to look like Timmons.
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/IllCloseAustralianfurseal-max-1mb.gif
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7b/28/89/7b28890822687120f8a4ce83da136513--wes-studi-dances-with-wolves.jpg

[stumppy]

Looks like I have a lot of two legged shields around me.:D Those kids aren't going to be throwing anything while they're busy catching stars and arrows.:)

[stumppy]

I'd also like to add that nobody picks up a bow and arrow and shoots hits a damn thing with it before they had lots of practice. I can put the cross hairs on any target the second I aim.

[TLO]

I think Chiefs wins this one, but it's close.

[Sorce]

I picked Chiefs, I think they both shoot each other and die from their injuries and get eaten by preschoolers.

[Indian Chief]

stumppy could conceivably one-shot Chiefs4thewin

[ThaVirus]

I'm kind of fascinated by how people develop things independently. The Native Americans and Mongols both developed bows before 1492, right? It seems like that's a pretty specific technology to develop.

You look at things like pottery and clothing and language and cities and stuff, and it seems like there's a cookbook for developing civilization, and everyone follows it. You may have a few oddities like the Native Americans not smelting ores, but for the most part there seems to be a set progression.

I find it very interesting as well.

Perhaps the bow and arrow was developed fairly early in human history, before the diaspora and subsequent isolations.

[Rain Man]

I find it very interesting as well.

Perhaps the bow and arrow was developed fairly early in human history, before the diaspora and subsequent isolations.


Hmm, I wouldn't have guessed that, but a little googling seems to indicate that early signs of bows and arrows date from 60,000 to 70,000 years ago in South Africa, so you could be on to something.

It looks like humans got north to the Middle East about 100,000 years ago, but perhaps the technology would have spread over thousands of years from a single invention point. And then the Bering Strait migration was only about 15,000 years ago, so they could've brought the technology with them.

It's weird to think that bows and arrows are that old. So when the European settlers were coming to the New World, they were greeted by Indians who were using technology from the Old World.

[threebag]

Stumppy only has 55 seconds to fold his Caitlyn Jenner nude and put it in his pocket.

That will cost him in the end

stumppy RIP

[Graystoke]

I have to go stumpy, by a thin margin. A Crossbow is accurate and he will be a one shot chump to the head of c4tw

Hoping kids get shot though.

[Rain Man]

Here's an interesting article describing the oldest arrowheads that were found. Apparently the archaeologists distinguished them from spearheads due to the patterns of chipping and impact damage and the presence of glue residue.

https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-11086110

Another website discussed the fact that stone tools were developed nearly 2.5 million years before the bow and arrow, which isn't really that old in the scheme of things. When reproducing a bow and arrow, it took a combination of 22 natural materials and three compound materials, which means that it took a lot more work to develop. The article said that it was also a huge cognitive leap because it's really a weapons system rather than a simple weapon. The bow and the interchangeable arrows are complex to envision if it's never been done before.

I bet the guy who invented it never bought another beer in his life. Imagine some dude showing this to you and letting you realize that you'll never have to charge a woolly mammoth again.

[ThaVirus]

Hmm, I wouldn't have guessed that, but a little googling seems to indicate that early signs of bows and arrows date from 60,000 to 70,000 years ago in South Africa, so you could be on to something.

It looks like humans got north to the Middle East about 100,000 years ago, but perhaps the technology would have spread over thousands of years from a single invention point. And then the Bering Strait migration was only about 15,000 years ago, so they could've brought the technology with them.

It's weird to think that bows and arrows are that old. So when the European settlers were coming to the New World, they were greeted by Indians who were using technology from the Old World.

It's even weirder to think that in the timeline we're talking about, there were multiple species of 'humans' roaming the earth.

[Sofa King]

Crossbows are legit and aren’t as hard to load as you think. Stumpy has this one easy.. sooo much more accurate.

[Sofa King]

Wow. The cross bow guy is losing to the much bow guy because of a bunch of ridiculous hypothetical situations. Crossbows are far superior technology and much more accurate .

[Rain Man]

It's even weirder to think that in the timeline we're talking about, there were multiple species of 'humans' roaming the earth.

I wonder if they had bows and arrows.

[Willie Lanier]

Stumpy's got this one

Set it up properly and this is a one shot kill...

[big nasty kcnut]

thou there are many types of crossbows if he had a handgun type crossbow he could really take someone out quickly.

[stumppy]

Wow. The cross bow guy is losing to the much bow guy because of a bunch of ridiculous hypothetical situations. Crossbows are far superior technology and much more accurate .

Crossbows are a step above a regular bow and a step below firearms. Give someone a bow and see how long it takes for them to hit a target. You can nail a target at 25 yards with a crossbow every time.

[Sofa King]

Crossbows are a step above a regular bow and a step below firearms. Give someone a bow and see how long it takes for them to hit a target. You can nail a target at 25 yards with a crossbow every time.

The odds of hitting your target on the first shot with a crossbow is pretty good at that distance.

[srvy]

Just like Timmons in Dances with Wolves Stumps gonna get a arrow up his arse hole running away.
https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1454480589ra/17968224.gif

[ThaVirus]

I wonder if they had bows and arrows.

Hmm, seems we don't know. Apparently wood doesn't preserve too well.

Ok, interesting stuff. I'll stop derailing the thread now.

[srvy]

Hmm, seems we don't know. Apparently wood doesn't preserve too well.

Ok, interesting stuff. I'll stop derailing the thread now.

Unless they were horn bows like the ancient Egyptians used. But saying this I dont know how well horn preserves also.

What we know of the ancient horn bows was they were more powerful than anything we can produce now. How they know this is anyone's guess I suppose the length they were shot over distance.

[Chiefs4TheWin]

LOL a bow fight in a pre school! Sounds like some spoof action flick scene.

[Bwana]

LOL a bow fight in a pre school! Sounds like some spoof action flick scene.

Yeah, there is going to be some collateral damage in this one. :(

[Rain Man]

After a brutal back and forth battle amidst the frightened schoolchildren, chiefs4thewin eventually lands the kill shot with his trusty Mohawk bow.

[stumppy]

After a brutal back and forth battle amidst the frightened schoolchildren, chiefs4thewin eventually lands the kill shot with his trusty Mohawk bow.

No no no nooooooooo. Robbed I tell ya......robbed.:D


Also, votes should be public. I got a few bolts left and need some targets.LMAO

[Chiefs4TheWin]

No no no nooooooooo. Robbed I tell ya......robbed.:D


Also, votes should be public. I got a few bolts left and need some targets.LMAO

You can borrow some of my ninja stars, and pre schoolers are always up for the stabby game lol.

[stumppy]

You can borrow some of my ninja stars, and pre schoolers are always up for the stabby game lol.

I need your preschoolers since you've killed all mine trying to get to me. You animal.:D

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Stumpy is winning now ROFL

Polls...flawed!

[stumppy]

Stumpy is winning now ROFL

Polls...flawed!

I'll see you in the arena buddy.:D

[Pasta Little Brioni]

He was playing possum, Rainman. Stumpy just ended c4tw with a crossbow bolt to the groin