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View Full Version : Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 17 - Pasta Giant Meatball versus cabletech94


Rain Man
07-09-2018, 10:17 AM
Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - Inside a giant hamster ball that is rolling down a 1 degree slope
Starting Distance - 4 feet

Pasta Giant Meatball

Main Weapon - Pilgrim-style blunderbuss with supplies for three shots (first shot is loaded)
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 3 Minutes
Special Factors - A drunk average-sized college guy will help you, though he's unarmed and is having trouble standing.

cabletech94

Main Weapon - Sling shot with 20 golf ball-size stones
Backup Weapon - Shiv fashioned from a toothbrush and a wooden chair leg

Prep Time - 43 seconds
Special Factors - None

The Franchise
07-09-2018, 10:25 AM
Should be a pretty quick match. PGM can shove the drunk college guy into cabletech and then shoot him in the head with the blunderbuss that's already loaded.

Dartgod
07-09-2018, 10:31 AM
Should be a pretty quick match. PGM can shove the drunk college guy into cabletech and then shoot him in the head with the blunderbuss that's already loaded.

If he somehow misses though, he's toast.

Detoxing
07-09-2018, 10:32 AM
Going Cabletech.

That rolling hamster ball is going to be like trying to fight in a dryer once their weight starts shifting and getting it moving. The first thing Cabletech will do is try and grab the blunderbuss so PGM can't shoot it. The drunk guy will be a floor obstacle, neither contestant will be able to stand upright.

The shiv is the best weapon here, because unlike the gun, it can be used over and over and over again while they're being turned around and upside down.

TLO
07-09-2018, 11:00 AM
What's the average reload time on a blunderbuss?

Also, I can't imagine it's all that accurate.

This is a bit of a thinker.

Rain Man
07-09-2018, 11:04 AM
This is a tough one. Pasta gets an initial shot at very short range, but I suspect that cabletech can knock away the gun barrel. He's at a disadvantage because he's going to have a drunk frat guy pawing at him, but I agree with the assertion that the shiv then becomes the best individual weapon.

However, I then remembered that the blunderbuss isn't just a shooting weapon, but it's a pretty good club. With the help of the drunk college guy, I think Pasta ends up doing some sort of mafia bludgeoning with the gun butt to take the win.

Rain Man
07-09-2018, 11:06 AM
What's the average reload time on a blunderbuss?

Also, I can't imagine it's all that accurate.

This is a bit of a thinker.

I would assume that we're talking at least a minute under normal conditions, but it would be much harder inside the rolling ball.

Graystoke
07-09-2018, 11:11 AM
So the shiv is a sharpened toothbrush?

I mean stabby is stabby and in this case stabby wins.

Why Not?
07-09-2018, 11:32 AM
Gotta go shiv here

Sofa King
07-09-2018, 12:20 PM
Blunderbuss

MagicHef
07-09-2018, 12:25 PM
Can I have weight and dimensions on the hamster wheel? I'd like to try to determine how fast it will roll and how well they will be able to affect its movement by shifting their weight.

Rain Man
07-09-2018, 12:34 PM
Can I have weight and dimensions on the hamster wheel? I'd like to try to determine how fast it will roll and how well they will be able to affect its movement by shifting their weight.

I would presume that it looks like this, but that it's a 9 foot diameter or thereabouts.

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/Mzc1WDUwMA==/z/7BkAAOxy4YdTWJEA/$_3.JPG?set_id=2

Pablo
07-09-2018, 12:41 PM
pasta's gonna miss and blow a hole in that hamster ball right away. It's gonna deflate and they'll be trapped in a deflating plastic prison where shanks rule the day. cable stabs him and the drunk guy to death and then cuts his way out.

TLO
07-09-2018, 12:43 PM
pasta's gonna miss and blow a hole in that hamster ball right away. It's gonna deflate and they'll be trapped in a deflating plastic prison where shanks rule the day. cable stabs him and the drunk guy to death and then cuts his way out.

I like this answer

ThaVirus
07-09-2018, 12:44 PM
Peek gets distracted shitposting in the KnowMo thread while Tech goes Gerard Butler on his neck in Law Abiding Citizen with the shiv

MagicHef
07-09-2018, 12:53 PM
I would presume that it looks like this, but that it's a 9 foot diameter or thereabouts.

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/Mzc1WDUwMA==/z/7BkAAOxy4YdTWJEA/$_3.JPG?set_id=2

That's much smaller than I was imagining. I think the stabbing weapon wins.

cabletech94
07-09-2018, 01:17 PM
It might be worth mentioning that I am “friends” with all drunk frat boys. They are my people. Think of it as a sleeper agent for me who is very sleepy. Plus, I work with hand tools every day. A shiv? Child’s play!! Sorry pasta, no hard feelings, but you’re toast, SON!!!

Hangin'WithMahomes
07-09-2018, 01:26 PM
From 4' and the ball only rolling on a 1 degree incline this one is over....PGM should move on easily.

TimBone
07-09-2018, 01:27 PM
PGM could find a way to fuck up a wet dream. Cable wins.

TimBone
07-09-2018, 01:29 PM
What's the average reload time on a blunderbuss?

Also, I can't imagine it's all that accurate.

This is a bit of a thinker.Just assume he's not getting that thing reloaded. It's pretty much a baseball bat after the first shot.

TimBone
07-09-2018, 01:35 PM
Peek gets distracted shitposting in the KnowMo thread while Tech goes Gerard Butler on his neck in Law Abiding Citizen with the shivYep. If Cable is smart, all he had to do at t=0 is point and yell, "Look, it's Knowmo!" That's gonna send PGM into instant drool mode, looking for his keyboard to go Kermit in Knowmo's thread.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180709/cb7a68f21d620017e42286cc8f236f87.gif


At that point, Cable has unlimited free shivving opportunities to PGM's neck.

kysirsoze
07-09-2018, 06:41 PM
Think this is my favorite match yet. I gotta go with the shiv, but there are so many possibilities here.

Pasta Giant Meatball
07-09-2018, 10:44 PM
He's toast, fellas. I don't miss with a blunderbus.

Chiefs4TheWin
07-10-2018, 01:05 AM
4 Feet starting distance. Pasta if you miss with a fricken blunderbuss at 4 feet.......

Yeah Pasta wins this one for me.

Pasta Giant Meatball
07-10-2018, 02:25 AM
4 feet....I fire as soon as it starts and it's over. Down, down, down cable knight's goin down..

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 08:10 AM
I think the drunk college guy is more liability than help. Probably fall into him as he shot the blunderbuss.

NJChiefsFan
07-10-2018, 10:44 AM
This fight will be as short as PGM's posts. And if he does miss, I expect it to still be short, just not in his favor.

Rain Man
07-11-2018, 08:53 AM
Apparently PGM missed with that first shot. Cabletech94 moves on, and PGM's family poses him in the funeral home wearing Celtics gear with snack food around him.

Pasta Giant Meatball
07-11-2018, 08:55 AM
Wrong. I fake death, blast tech and Rain man with the Blunderbus, and take over the polls.

cabletech94
07-11-2018, 02:20 PM
Wrong. I fake death, blast tech and Rain man with the Blunderbus, and take over the polls.

https://giphy.com/gifs/the-homie-ej9kV1V5Kp1UQ

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/ej9kV1V5Kp1UQ" width="480" height="360" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/the-homie-ej9kV1V5Kp1UQ">via GIPHY</a></p>

Pablo
07-11-2018, 05:05 PM
You sent him to the ol' interstate in the sky, cabletech. Now he can launch piss jug after piss jug and the road will always be wide open with no traffic for his 18 wheeler. Wheels up pgm!