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View Full Version : Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 18 - Detoxing versus canoworms


Rain Man
07-10-2018, 08:21 AM
Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - A coastal beach
Starting Distance - 81 feet

Detoxing

Main Weapon - Two fist-sized rocks, one of which has a slightly sharp edge
Backup Weapon - 20 sharp small ninja stars

Prep Time - 14 seconds
Special Factors - None

canoworms

Main Weapon - The thigh bone of a large ape
Backup Weapon - BB gun with 50 BBs, each of which is coated with enough poison to slow a person down by 4 percentage points

Prep Time - 9 Minutes
Special Factors - You're wearing an eye patch on your right eye, which you can't remove

ThaVirus
07-10-2018, 08:28 AM
Does the slow effect of the poison stack with each BB?

Sofa King
07-10-2018, 08:29 AM
What kind of BB gun? Semi automatic? Red Ryder? Fully auto CO2 gun? Pump B.B. gun? Is canoworms right or left handed- can he shoot opposite hand at a moving target? The BB gun is the kicker. A semi auto could slow him down enough to beat him to death and would cause him to be too slow to throw the stars effectively. But a pump is worthless.

Why Not?
07-10-2018, 08:32 AM
This may be the toughest one yet. At first glance, the BB gun would be a good advantage but people may fail to understand how much your equilibrium is off when you consistently can only use one eye. Conversely, throwing anything on a beach is not easy due to the lack of solid ground under your feet. The rocks require close proximity to matter and we've already seen the small stars be basically irrelevant. Give me bludgeoning to death via ape bone in a close one.

Otter
07-10-2018, 08:35 AM
This is another good one.

I'm guessing at 81 feet canoworms manages 2 shots with the BB gun before he has to switch to the ape's thigh bone which leaves detox at 8% less (which isn't much) and then it comes down to melee. Pretty equal prep time on a beach...

This is a coin toss. I'll await arguments from the combatants.

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 08:43 AM
I think ninja stars need to be removed from the wheel of death. Is this the third or fourth fight with ninja stars?

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 08:46 AM
Does the slow effect of the poison stack with each BB?

Yes, it has a cumulative effect, and the effect is four percentage points, not percent. So 25 hits is total incapacitation.

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 08:48 AM
What kind of BB gun? Semi automatic? Red Ryder? Fully auto CO2 gun? Pump B.B. gun? Is canoworms right or left handed- can he shoot opposite hand at a moving target? The BB gun is the kicker. A semi auto could slow him down enough to beat him to death and would cause him to be too slow to throw the stars effectively. But a pump is worthless.

It's a classic pump BB gun where one must manually do that thing with the thing under the trigger to place the next BB into the chamber.

https://images.airgundepot.com/ay/airgundepot/daisy-classic-red-ryder-1938-bb-gun-32.gif

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 08:49 AM
I think ninja stars need to be removed from the wheel of death. Is this the third or fourth fight with ninja stars?

Well, then, you might want to practice your ninja star throwing. Or maybe we'll revert to the mean and your practice will be useless. There's no telling, really.

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 08:51 AM
Coincidentally, I am a ninja star expert. So if I get ninja stars in my matchup, it's game over. ROFL

Sofa King
07-10-2018, 08:55 AM
It's a classic pump BB gun where one must manually do that thing with the thing under the trigger to place the next BB into the chamber.

https://images.airgundepot.com/ay/airgundepot/daisy-classic-red-ryder-1938-bb-gun-32.gif

Hmmm. You can fire one of those decently fast, but don’t expect over 20% . They’re inaccurate at too much distance as well.

ChiliConCarnage
07-10-2018, 09:00 AM
Is the slowing just of foot movement or would it slow arm movement as well?

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 09:09 AM
Is the slowing just of foot movement or would it slow arm movement as well?

The poison is total slowing of body and mind. Maybe it's more of a sedative than a poison.

Otter
07-10-2018, 09:12 AM
The poison is total slowing of body and mind. Maybe it's more of a sedative than a poison.

We can call them "Quaalude Pellets".

Actually canoworms, would you mind shooting me 3x before I have to meet with clients @ 10am?

Thx in advance!

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 09:15 AM
whoa whoa whoa.

Before everyone starts voting, i'd like to point out that i grew up on the beach, so i know the terrain extremely well.

Also, as a kid i threw a rock at a bully who was trying to pick on me. I made him cry. AND, i spent a lot of time skipping rocks, so i am quite proficient with this sort of weapon.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 09:16 AM
What is this madness???

I HAVE NINJA STARS.

Ninja stars always trump BB guns.

They're freakin' Ninja stars!

Otter
07-10-2018, 09:20 AM
What is this madness???

I HAVE NINJA STARS.

Ninja stars always trump BB guns.

They're freakin' Ninja stars!

This is madness!

Detox & Can make eye contact on the beach during the initial charge, listen to the waves crash, and take turns shooting each other with the Quaalude Pellets while watching the sun set.

The first ChiefsPlanet Gladiator Love Story.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 09:24 AM
Look guys, you're not thinking clearly. This is how this goes down:

I emerge from the ocean water, my pecs and perfect abs glistening in the sun while all the ladies turn their attention to me. I do a slow hero walk onto the sand, cool....calm....ready to unleash the beast.

Canoworms takes his flippy-floppies off, but he's not a beach guy, so he starts doing the hot-foot dance and the heat from the sand burns his sensitive little non-beach girly feet, distracting him.

But then he sees me and my magnificent body and immediately tries to shoot at me, but he has an eye patch therefore can't shoot worth a shit. His aim is way off as i charge at him. I start dodging pellets Matrix style. Sure, a few hit me, but not enough to matter because i'm naturally faster than Canoworms anyway.

I toss a jagged edge rock and take out another eye, now he can't see at all. I leap into the air and come crashing down with a superman punch. BAM! Rock straight to the face.

Now he's dazed and i continuously pummel him with the blunt rock until his head ceases to exist. The women cheer, lift me up and carry me to go get soft serve. The end.

That's how it happens, boys. Don't fool yourselves into thinking otherwise.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 09:31 AM
Dudes...81 ft is only 27 yards. I run a 5 second 40. 2.5 seconds and i'm already on top of this foo' merging his skull with the sand. He would have time to get one shot off before im on him like a spider monkey.

The BB gun doesn't matter here. I feel like you're all getting wrapped up in the BB gun.

First off, the distance is so short that i'd close the gap almost immediately. He'd get one shot off. Secondly, he has a freakin eye patch. So he'll miss his one and only shot. And even if the pellet did land (which it wont) it wouldn't slow me down enough.

His ape bone won't do nearly as much damage as a pair of rocks. It's too short to create any torque and lacks density to do much damage.

This is a no brainer. I send Canoworms back to his parents in a trash bag.

The Franchise
07-10-2018, 09:33 AM
Dudes...81 ft is only 27 yards. I run a 5 second 40. 2.5 seconds and i'm already on top of this foo' merging his skull with the sand. He would have time to get one shot off before im on him like a spider monkey.

The BB gun doesn't matter here. I feel like you're all getting wrapped up in the BB gun.

First off, the distance is so short that i'd close the gap almost immediately. He'd get one shot off. Secondly, he has a freakin eye patch. So he'll miss his one and only shot.

Welcome to moronplanet where nothing makes sense.

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 09:35 AM
I think people are underestimating the bone of a large ape.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 09:46 AM
You know how you can tell i won this fight?

Canoworms isn't even here. Because he's dead. Because i killed him. On the beach. With rocks.

Pasta Giant Meatball
07-10-2018, 09:48 AM
The BB gun is fucking worthless. CP sucks monkey nuts at gladiator voting

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 09:52 AM
BONE OF A LARGE APE!

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 09:53 AM
I think the eye patch is important here. It makes it harder to aim and also harder to fight hand to hand. However, a shot or two with the BB gun early on will slow detoxing down by a few percentage points, and an ape thigh bone and BB gun butt has more range than a pair of rocks. It's a tough match, but I think canoworms will have more range in his attacks.

But wait - will the stars be an equivalent force to the BB gun? Possibly so. They'll hurt more if they hit.

The Franchise
07-10-2018, 09:59 AM
He has one eye and he's supposed to be accurate with a bb gun? He'll end up getting his head smashed in with a rock. But this is CP.....so Detox loses.

Pasta Giant Meatball
07-10-2018, 10:00 AM
He gets a good eye shot with the stars and it's over

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 10:01 AM
BONE OF A LARGE APE!

I'm dual wielding a pair of rocks, bro. Rock is more dense than bone.

His bone will hurt, sure, assuming he can land a clean shot. But my rocks will cave your skull in.

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 10:08 AM
I'm dual wielding a pair of rocks, bro. Rock is more dense than bone.

His bone will hurt, sure, assuming he can land a clean shot. But my rocks will cave your skull in.

I think you should get points for your thrilling and sexy description of the event. But I just like saying bone of a large ape too much to vote for you.

Dartgod
07-10-2018, 10:19 AM
I need to know if canoworms is right-eye or left-eye dominant

ChiliConCarnage
07-10-2018, 10:21 AM
I emerge from the ocean water, my pecs and perfect abs glistening in the sun while all the ladies turn their attention to me. I do a slow hero walk onto the sand, cool....calm....ready to unleash the beast.

But then he sees me and my magnificent body

Canoworms - are you gay?

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 10:28 AM
I need to know if canoworms is right-eye or left-eye dominant

Yeah, actually, that's no shit. I'm left eye dominant, but right handed. I shoot right handed, but I could manage just fine using my left eye to aim.


The question then is wtf is Rainman talking about when he says the thing under the trigger of the thing or whatever. A Red Ryder lever action BB gun is pictured. Fill it up with BBs. Shoot, cock the lever, repeat. Poison 100% applied.

Graystoke
07-10-2018, 01:33 PM
Look guys, you're not thinking clearly. This is how this goes down:

I emerge from the ocean water, my pecs and perfect abs glistening in the sun while all the ladies turn their attention to me. I do a slow hero walk onto the sand, cool....calm....ready to unleash the beast.

Canoworms takes his flippy-floppies off, but he's not a beach guy, so he starts doing the hot-foot dance and the heat from the sand burns his sensitive little non-beach girly feet, distracting him.

But then he sees me and my magnificent body and immediately tries to shoot at me, but he has an eye patch therefore can't shoot worth a shit. His aim is way off as i charge at him. I start dodging pellets Matrix style. Sure, a few hit me, but not enough to matter because i'm naturally faster than Canoworms anyway.

I toss a jagged edge rock and take out another eye, now he can't see at all. I leap into the air and come crashing down with a superman punch. BAM! Rock straight to the face.

Now he's dazed and i continuously pummel him with the blunt rock until his head ceases to exist. The women cheer, lift me up and carry me to go get soft serve. The end.

That's how it happens, boys. Don't fool yourselves into thinking otherwise.

This guy lobbies well.
I need to know if you have a threesome with the women that are cheering and carrying you off for soft serve before I decide.

Gladiator Lives Matter

Why Not?
07-10-2018, 01:48 PM
You know how you can tell i won this fight?

Canoworms isn't even here. Because he's dead. Because i killed him. On the beach. With rocks.

There is something to be said for one of the competitors making compelling arguments while there is crickets from the other competitor

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 01:50 PM
This guy lobbies well.
I need to know if you have a threesome with the women that are cheering and carrying you off for soft serve before I decide.

Gladiator Lives Matter

Not only did i have the threesome, but then i posted it on Xhamster with Chiefsplanet tags.

Buehler445
07-10-2018, 02:39 PM
This ones really a tossup. I’ll go detoxing because he made me laugh.

TimBone
07-10-2018, 02:41 PM
Detox's will to win in this thread has convinced me.

Dartgod
07-10-2018, 02:47 PM
Detox's will to win in this thread has convinced me.

This ones really a tossup. I’ll go detoxing because he made me laugh.

Yep, I'd really like to know if canoworms is left-eye dominate, because if he is, then the eye patch is a non-factor.

He hasn't been around to defend himself, so he is dead.

Graystoke
07-10-2018, 02:49 PM
Not only did i have the threesome, but then i posted it on Xhamster with Chiefsplanet tags.

We have a WINNER

Pablo
07-10-2018, 02:53 PM
The thigh bone is a brutal tool. I like it better than rocks in hand to hand combat.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 02:58 PM
This ones really a tossup. I’ll go detoxing because he made me laugh.

Detox's will to win in this thread has convinced me.

That's right boys!

EAT LIGHTNING AND SHIT THUNDER.

We're in it to win. We've narrowed the gap while Canoworms cowers at the mere thought of entering this thread.

Iowanian
07-10-2018, 03:01 PM
This is the most even fight to date.

If you placed all of the weapons on a table and told me to choose, I'd grab that Monkey leg and swing it like a roided up Mark McGuire.

kysirsoze
07-10-2018, 03:03 PM
The thigh bone is a brutal tool. I like it better than rocks in hand to hand combat.

The internet tells me a gorilla's femur is about 15" long. That's not a huge reach advantage. The rocks, however, are much more dense, dual wielding, and one even has a sharp edge. Add in canoworms' eye patch and it's a pretty easy choice for me. The ranged weapons will have little to no effect.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:07 PM
The internet tells me a gorilla's femur is about 15" long. That's not a huge reach advantage. The rocks, however, are much more dense, dual wielding, and one even has a sharp edge. Add in canoworms' eye patch and it's a pretty easy choice for me. The ranged weapons will have little to no effect.

See this guy gets it.

And honestly, it's a guerilla bone, which means who ever wields it will likely catch some sort of disease.

So factor that in. Canoworms likely has to fight me with a severe case of Gono-aids, which will weaken him.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:09 PM
Guys, you can vote Canoworms and be completely WRONG about all the things....

Or you can vote me, be right, and be part of the greatest come back in Chiefsplanet Gladiator history.

I know what a winner would say...

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 03:12 PM
A winner would say he beat your ass with the bone of a large ape!!!!!

Graystoke
07-10-2018, 03:15 PM
Dang, this is a close race.
If it comes down to a tie is there a sudden supper death death match Rainman?

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:17 PM
Guys, i grew up on the beach. This is like...my home stadium. My hometown is literally named OCEANside. You have to consider home field advantage. Vegas does.

Everyone on the beach is gonna be cheering for me. Factor in the adrenaline i'd have from the crowd noise.

cdcox
07-10-2018, 03:24 PM
I go out into the ocean knee deep to slow detox's approach. Growing up I used a dime hanging from a string from 30 feet with a BB gun. I'm getting lots of BBs on target. Every one that fits him allows me to widen the distance and keep out of range.

ptlyon
07-10-2018, 03:25 PM
Guys, i grew up on the beach. This is like...my home stadium. My hometown is literally named OCEANside. You have to consider home field advantage. Vegas does.

Everyone on the beach is gonna be cheering for me. Factor in the adrenaline i'd have from the crowd noise.

Just like arrowhead in the playoffs!

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:26 PM
I go out into the ocean knee deep to slow detox's approach. Growing up I used a dime hanging from a string from 30 feet with a BB gun. I'm getting lots of BBs on target. Every one that fits him allows me to widen the distance and keep out of range.

Doesn't matter because whatever you shoot i'd just deflect with my rock because i have super fast reflexes.

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 03:28 PM
Just like arrowhead in the playoffs!

Yeah, he picked the wrong crowd for that argument.

ptlyon
07-10-2018, 03:28 PM
Doesn't matter because whatever you shoot i'd just deflect with my rock because i have super fast reflexes.

You spelled something wrong in there

kysirsoze
07-10-2018, 03:28 PM
oh boy it's tied...

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:32 PM
oh boy it's tied...

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/rl0FOxdz7CcxO" width="480" height="328" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/excited-ron-paul-its-happening-rl0FOxdz7CcxO">via GIPHY</a></p>

cdcox
07-10-2018, 03:32 PM
Doesn't matter because whatever you shoot i'd just deflect with my rock because i have super fast reflexes.

I just want everyone to see that him winning depends on his ability to deflect BBs with a rock. If you think he can do that, go ahead and vote for him.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:35 PM
I just want everyone to see that him winning depends on his ability to deflect BBs with a rock. If you think he can do that, go ahead and vote for him.

Wrong.

Starting distance is only 27 yards. Even if you managed to land one, that's all you're getting as i'd be all over you in less than 3 seconds. AND you have an eye patch, further reducing the likely hood that you can even hit me.

Of course that's assuming i don't knock the gun out of your hand first with my ninja stars.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:35 PM
But hey, i do appreciate you showing up to your funeral.

Graystoke
07-10-2018, 03:36 PM
I just want everyone to see that him winning depends on his ability to deflect BBs with a rock. If you think he can do that, go ahead and vote for him.

Nice..Counter Attack

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:37 PM
And what the hell is a BB gun going to do anyway? All your gun will do, if you manage to land a shot, is reduce my movement speed by 4%. Which would be offset by my adrenaline from the home field advantage.

Beef Supreme
07-10-2018, 03:38 PM
A rock in each hand and he can still throw ninja stars with pinpoint accuracy.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:39 PM
A rock in each hand and he can still throw ninja stars with pinpoint accuracy.

I have big hands. And you know what they say about guys with big hands....

...they're excellent ninja star throwers.

Graystoke
07-10-2018, 03:39 PM
I am curious . Does the BB need to draw blood for the poison to take effect?
My decision was based on it does

cdcox
07-10-2018, 03:44 PM
And what the hell is a BB gun going to do anyway? All your gun will do, if you manage to land a shot, is reduce my movement speed by 4%. Which would be offset by my adrenaline from the home field advantage.

As you slog through the water towards me I'll hit you several times. You'll be down to 80% or so. I'll sprint out of the water to open a new gap. Five more! I can easily dodge two rocks. I one does hit, it won't be lethal.

ChiliConCarnage
07-10-2018, 03:45 PM
And what the hell is a BB gun going to do anyway? All your gun will do, if you manage to land a shot, is reduce my movement speed by 4%. Which would be offset by my adrenaline from the home field advantage.

Rain Man confirmed it slows your mind and ability to swing/throw things.

If canoworms lands a few shots you're going to be Corky from life goes on up against Floyd Mayweather

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:47 PM
As you slog through the water towards me I'll hit you several times. You'll be down to 80% or so. I'll sprint out of the water to open a new gap. Five more! I can easily dodge two rocks. I one does hit, it won't be lethal.

My Ninja Stars are more lethal than your pellets. If you want to try and play the range game you're going to lose your only good eye.

cdcox
07-10-2018, 03:48 PM
I am curious . Does the BB need to draw blood for the poison to take effect?
My decision was based on it does

It is a contact poison.

ptlyon
07-10-2018, 03:49 PM
QUIT YOUR HUGGING AND GET TO KILLING EACH OTHER

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 03:55 PM
QUIT YOUR HUGGING AND GET TO KILLING EACH OTHER

Canoworms is already dead. That's his mom posting on his account to make people think he's alive.

You know...like 2pac.

cdcox
07-10-2018, 04:03 PM
Canoworms is already dead. That's his mom posting on his account to make people think he's alive.

You know...like 2pac.

Weak sauce. Apparently the poison already has him down to 60% mentality. It won't be long now. HERE COMES THE APE BONE, BITCH!!!

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 04:06 PM
Weak sauce. Apparently the poison already has him down to 60% mentality. It won't be long now. HERE COMES THE APE BONE, BITCH!!!

I know you think you can win this. You think if you keep trying that you will.

But that's wrong.

My fierce fists of stone will pop your lid, canoworms.

cdcox
07-10-2018, 04:08 PM
I know you think you can win this. You think if you keep trying that you will.

But that's wrong.

My fierce fists of stone will pop your lid, canoworms.

56% mentality. Click pop. Click pop.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 04:14 PM
56% mentality. Click pop. Click pop.

See this dude knocked out in the sand? That's you bro.

https://i.imgur.com/Qce62t9.jpg

ThaVirus
07-10-2018, 04:14 PM
Dudes...81 ft is only 27 yards. I run a 5 second 40. 2.5 seconds and i'm already on top of this foo' merging his skull with the sand. He would have time to get one shot off before im on him like a spider monkey.

What 40 time you clocking in soft sand?

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 04:15 PM
And these are the lovely ladies that will be taking me to get soft serve after i turn your skull into sand shell fragments.

https://i.imgur.com/FFTy5VX.jpg

Look, it even looks like they're saying, "Detox you're so fucking amazing! Lets get soft serve from DQ!"

ptlyon
07-10-2018, 04:18 PM
And these are the lovely ladies that will be taking me to get soft serve after i turn your skull into sand shell fragments.

https://i.imgur.com/FFTy5VX.jpg

Look, it even looks like they're saying, "Detox you're so ****ing amazing! Lets get soft serve from DQ!"

That's where they'll have to get a foot long too

Graystoke
07-10-2018, 04:19 PM
That's where they'll have to get a foot slong too

FYP

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 04:21 PM
What 40 time you clocking in soft sand?

No idea. But i've played so much football on the beach that it's like 2nd nature. My beach-footwork is dialed in.

Molitoth
07-10-2018, 04:28 PM
Does the slow effect of the poison stack with each BB?

ROFL

Someone has grown up around RPGs.

cdcox
07-10-2018, 04:29 PM
The first weapons man had were rocks. The club in an improvement or People would have stuck to rocks.

TLO
07-10-2018, 04:30 PM
This is a close match! I'm brimming with excitement to see who wins.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 04:32 PM
The first weapons man had were rocks. The club in an improvement or People would have stuck to rocks.

You have an aids infested monkey bone. Quite trying to glamorize your meager "weapon".

Bwana
07-10-2018, 04:33 PM
This one is a classic! ROFL

TimBone
07-10-2018, 04:34 PM
But hey, i do appreciate you showing up to your funeral.LMAO

Dinny Bossa Nova
07-10-2018, 04:40 PM
.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 04:41 PM
Ah geez it's freakin' tied up again.

cdcox
07-10-2018, 05:03 PM
Ah geez it's freakin' tied up again.

That's because you're not "detoxing" fast enough to overcome the effects of my poison. Makes you feel helpless, huh?

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 05:11 PM
This fight will be available on Pay Per View, exclusive to Spike TV and The Discovery Channel.

Detoxing
07-10-2018, 05:12 PM
That's because you're not "detoxing" fast enough to overcome the effects of my poison. Makes you feel helpless, huh?

Don't need poison when a rock is a one hitter quitter.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7I8mLBCelpA" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

ChiliConCarnage
07-10-2018, 05:13 PM
This fight will be available on Pay Per View, exclusive to Spike TV and The Discovery Channel.

Those aren't pay per view channels. You're just stealing our money!

Rain Man
07-10-2018, 07:08 PM
Those aren't pay per view channels. You're just stealing our money!

That's what all pay per view does.

TimBone
07-10-2018, 08:56 PM
We need a tie-breaking vote.

The Franchise
07-10-2018, 09:30 PM
Detoxing has 30k+ posts. Who the fuck is canofworms?

There’s your tie breaker. Detox wins.

Graystoke
07-11-2018, 07:28 AM
Detoxing has 30k+ posts. Who the **** is canofworms?

There’s your tie breaker. Detox wins.

We may need the Supreme Court decide this one.
Any hanging chads?

Rasputin
07-11-2018, 08:13 AM
It's a classic pump BB gun where one must manually do that thing with the thing under the trigger to place the next BB into the chamber.

https://images.airgundepot.com/ay/airgundepot/daisy-classic-red-ryder-1938-bb-gun-32.gif

Canoworms will shoot his non patched eye out.

TLO
07-11-2018, 08:43 AM
Has the winner been decided?

Rain Man
07-11-2018, 09:08 AM
Has the winner been decided?

The battle is still raging.

Detoxing
07-11-2018, 09:25 AM
Some of you have clearly never been hit in the head with a rock. Or maybe you have and that's the problem...hrmmm....

ptlyon
07-11-2018, 09:28 AM
Some of you have clearly never been hit in the head with a rock. Or maybe you have and that's the problem...hrmmm....

So you have?

Detoxing
07-11-2018, 09:38 AM
So you have?

I've been hit in the back with a rock. Does that count?

Rain Man
07-11-2018, 09:40 AM
I've been hit in the back with a rock. Does that count?

Have you ever been hit with the thigh bone of a large ape?

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 08:58 AM
Next vote wins it. They're in the sand, each one with a hand locked on the other's wrist to prevent mayhem, neither able to break the deadlock.

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:07 AM
Vote for me and I will reveal my "secret identity" and the story of why I now have this name instead of the other.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:13 AM
Vote for me and...uh...i'll share a entertaining life story in the story thread?

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:14 AM
Vote me for me and I'll smoke you out with some good weed next time you're in San Diego....

https://i.imgur.com/Bql6E0x.jpg

^^^^^ Currently in my jar ^^^^^

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:15 AM
Vote for me and...uh...i'll share a entertaining life story in the story thread?

Click clack pop. Click clack pop. Die detox die.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:17 AM
The battle continues. Sweat drips into their eyes. A wandering crab stops and observes.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:17 AM
Click clack pop. Click clack pop. Die detox die.

One rock up against yo block and you drop plop plop gonna have to call a cop and trace you with body chalk.

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:19 AM
The battle continues. Sweat drips into their eyes. A wandering crab stops and observes.

I pick up the crab and hang it from detox's nose. He's at 12%.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:20 AM
The three attractive women who were preparing to reward the winner with a foursome get bored and head to the nearby beach hotel to have a threesome on their own.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:22 AM
The three attractive women who were preparing to reward the winner with a foursome get bored and head to the nearby beach hotel to have a threesome on their own.

Whoa no no no.

There are no attractive women waiting for Canoworms. They're here to cheer me on, and only me.

My home venue, remember?

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:24 AM
Whoa no no no.

There are no attractive women waiting for Canoworms. They're here to cheer me on, and only me.

My home venue, remember?

Apparently they were less than impressed. Besides the poison affects all bodily functions.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:25 AM
The battle rages on.

Next vote wins it.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:30 AM
Since you're both here, I'll give you another option to settle the deadlock. There's a bus outside my office window, and it has a number on top of it. Is that number even or odd?
You both have to make a guess for me to reveal it, and if we get another vote before I post the picture, the vote overrides everything.

So...even or odd?

Shoes
07-12-2018, 09:33 AM
Since you're both here, I'll give you another option to settle the deadlock. There's a bus outside my office window, and it has a number on top of it. Is that number even or odd?
You both have to make a guess for me to reveal it, and if we get another vote before I post the picture, the vote overrides everything.

So...even or odd?

I may have broken the deadlock.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:35 AM
I may have broken the deadlock.

The thigh bone breaks and canoworms, suddenly aware of advanced toolmaking ability, jams the sharpened shard into Detoxing, then slowly rises and dusts the sand off before finding those three women. canoworms moves to Round 2.

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:37 AM
Woo and hoo!!!!!

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:38 AM
The thigh bone breaks and canoworms, suddenly aware of advanced toolmaking ability, jams the sharpened shard into Detoxing, then slowly rises and dusts the sand off before finding those three women. canoworms moves to Round 2.

Uh...no.

It's tied, buddy. Nice try though. It's not over yet.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:38 AM
Woo and hoo!!!!!

Nope. Still tied.

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:39 AM
Uh...no.

It's tied, buddy. Nice try though. It's not over yet.

Apparently dead men do tell lies.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:40 AM
Nope. Still tied.

Unfortunately, canoworms got the first vote. Your subsequent vote may mean that he gets a flesh-eating bacteria from the sand abrasions that will affect him once he starts the foursome.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:40 AM
Apparently dead men do tell lies.

Scoreboard don't lie.

Next vote that Detoxing gets make Detoxing the winner.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:41 AM
Unfortunately, canoworms got the first vote. Your subsequent vote may mean that he gets a flesh-eating bacteria from the sand abrasions that will affect him once he starts the foursome.

I'll need to see proof of this first, buddy.

For all i know, i got the first vote.

cdcox
07-12-2018, 09:43 AM
I'll need to see proof of this first, buddy.

For all i know, i got the first vote.

You are seriously deranged from the poison.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:44 AM
I'll need to see proof of this first, buddy.

For all i know, i got the first vote.

Let me ask see if I can find any witnesses.

Hey, you. Yeah, you with the thin little beard. Was the winner Detoxing on the left, or canoworms on the right?

https://sterlinglawqld.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/judge-and-witness.jpg

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:44 AM
You are seriously deranged from the poison.

I see you're in bed with the judge, but it's not enough to save you.

Tied game. Match keeps going. Next vote i get makes me the winner.

The Franchise
07-12-2018, 09:45 AM
Let me ask see if I can find any witnesses.

Hey, you. Yeah, you with the thin little beard. Was the winner Detoxing on the left, or canoworms on the right?

https://sterlinglawqld.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/judge-and-witness.jpg

Looks to me like he's pointing to his left. Detox wins.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:46 AM
Looks to me like he's pointing to his left. Detox wins.

He's dyslexic.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:47 AM
Looks to me like he's pointing to his left. Detox wins.

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/FdEtkemRg6vo4" width="480" height="480" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/approve-FdEtkemRg6vo4">via GIPHY</a></p>

The Franchise
07-12-2018, 09:47 AM
He's dyslexic.

Which has nothing to do with directions. He's not blind.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:47 AM
Welp, there we have it. I guess i win. Pestilence has confirmed.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:48 AM
Which has nothing to do with directions. He's not blind.

Actually, he is blind. But he heard the vote being cast.

The Franchise
07-12-2018, 09:51 AM
Actually, he is blind. But he heard the vote being cast.

I call shenanigans on your entire tournament, sir!

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 09:57 AM
I call shenanigans on your entire tournament, sir!

You can't. You're dead.

The Franchise
07-12-2018, 09:57 AM
You can't. You're dead.

I'm haunting this tournament from now on.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 09:58 AM
I call shenanigans on your entire tournament, sir!

I'm starting to feel like Rain Man is trying to Pete Rose this tournament.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 10:27 AM
.

I would like to point out that prior to deleting this post, Dinny had said he voted Detoxing. He mistakenly voted Canoworms, but meant to vote me, hence his post deletion.

That would put the score Detoxing 31, Canoworms 29.

Making me the winner.

Dinny, please confirm. Or a mod. It's the only way to settle this.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 11:09 AM
This thread feels cold. Almost like there's some sort of undead presence.

Graystoke
07-12-2018, 11:09 AM
Is this the final verdict?

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 11:15 AM
Is this the final verdict?

Yep. Canoworms got the first vote after the long deadlock, so he moves on. It was a brutal, brutal fight, like one of those wrestlemania things where everyone is covered in blood.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:22 AM
Yep. Canoworms got the first vote after the long deadlock, so he moves on. It was a brutal, brutal fight, like one of those wrestlemania things where everyone is covered in blood.

I call BS. Dinny mis-cast his vote. I won this.

Graystoke
07-12-2018, 11:23 AM
I call BS. Dinny mis-cast his vote. I won this.

Can I have your Women and Soft Serve?

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:23 AM
I lose on a tie in which a vote was mis-cast?

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE!

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:25 AM
Can I have your Women and Soft Serve?

No. I'm taking them home with me.

Screw you guys. I'm going home.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MTc3zcnIZOw" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Graystoke
07-12-2018, 11:26 AM
No. I'm taking them home with me.

Screw you guys. I'm going home.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MTc3zcnIZOw" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Even though I voted Detoxing I think its nice he is out. Dude is a threat to any remaining Gladiators in Round 2

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:28 AM
Even though I voted Detoxing I think its nice he is out. Dude is a threat to any remaining Gladiators in Round 2

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE.

Where's Dinny, he'll make this right.

Once Dinny comes in here and clarifies that he mistakenly voted Canoworms, i should be anointed the champion.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 11:30 AM
Fighting is never fair.

On that note, someone in my Facebook group posted this article about an ancestor of mine. Sounds like you didn't want to cross Rain Man, Version 1781.

"High Strung and Dangerous As a Loaded Gun" Jacob Wilson Manes
Soon after Miller County was established in 1837, voters in Osage Township petitioned for change due to difficulty crossing the Osage River to vote or conduct Township business. Jacob Wilson Manes petitioned for Osage Township to be split and a new township created, divided by the Osage River. He also petitioned for voting to be moved to a more central location. The Court acted, creating Jim Henry Township from the northern part of Osage and the eastern part of Saline Township. The Court also moved the voting location from John Wisdom's cabin at the mouth of Panther Creek to Sam Parks' cabin on the Big Tavern.

The life of petitioner Jacob Wilson Manes is an amazing story. Born about 1781, he disappeared as a young boy. "Strong-willed, high tempered, daring and adventurous, he preferred the company of Indians in the Clinch Mountain Valley. It's believed he was taken west by some tribe at the age of eleven, not to be seen again until he was seventeen." [Excerpt from Lola Rice writing in The History of Pulaski County]

Not long after Jacob returned home, he and his cousin got into a fight over a girl. "About the same age, and a few pounds difference in weight, they stripped, went into a horse lot and, in the fight, Jacob bit off his adversary's thumb, two fingers, the end of his nose, got a new hold on his nose and bit it to the hollow, up close to his eyes and while he yet had the hold with his teeth. His father took him clear out of the county and bound him to a hatter, as he was opposed to him marrying the girl, but the next thing they knew, Jacob had come back, married the girl, and took her back with him where he finished the trade - that of a hatter. Jacob claimed to not know a letter in a book, yet he could quote scripture and law better than any man I ever heard talk." [Excerpt from memoirs of Jacob's son, Samuel Jasper Manes]

The fate of his wife is unknown, but Jacob married again in 1809. He made his living by trading with the Indians, trapping, and hunting; he was away from home much of the time. "Jacob was said to have taken one Marlowe Collins off his horse on Clinch Mountain, stomped him to death, and he was not found until the buzzards had picked his eyes out. He got in a fight with five Indians in a still house and killed three of the five. Jacob was a peculiar man, high strung and dangerous as a loaded gun, but one of the best neighbors, best-hearted men I ever seen, honest to a cent and abhorred a lie. As time went on Jacob became increasingly restless, complaining that game was getting scarce because of too many settlers and that there were fewer Indians to trade with."

The family moved to Indiana where Jacob's wife issued an ultimatum. "She will never move again, except to her grave. In 1835 Jacob told his family he wished to move on to Missouri. His wife was firm as to the agreement. She remained in Indiana and was buried there."

Jacob came to the area that would become Miller County. He married a widow, a relative of the Parks family. After his successful petition to split the Osage Township, he petitioned the court again for a road from Iberia to the ferry. In 1844 Jacob moved his family to Pulaski County, joining two of his sons along the Gasconade River. Shortly, Jacob moved on to Arkansas. In 1853 he was killed in a fight near Mountain Grove. His descendants number in the hundreds in Miller, Camden, and Pulaski Counties.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:35 AM
Fighting is never fair.



Especially when you have money riding on it in Vegas, eh Rain man?

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 11:37 AM
Especially when you have money riding on it in Vegas, eh Rain man?

Hey, don't look at me. I just organize. I hired a former NFL referee to do the judging. And Jeff Triplette has years of experience.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:43 AM
Hey, don't look at me. I just organize. I hired a former NFL referee to do the judging. And Jeff Triplette has years of experience.

I'm appealing this decision. I just want you to know that. You'll be getting a call from my lawyer.

Rain Man
07-12-2018, 11:51 AM
I'm appealing this decision. I just want you to know that. You'll be getting a call from my lawyer.

On that last vote where it looked like you had made the game-winning hit, Triplette ruled that canoworms' forward progress had been stopped.

“The ruling was forward progress,” Triplette said after the game, “therefore it is not reviewable in that situation. Detoxing hit him and he was driving him back.”

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 11:53 AM
On that last vote where it looked like you had made the game-winning hit, Triplette ruled that canoworms' forward progress had been stopped.

“The ruling was forward progress,” Triplette said after the game, “therefore it is not reviewable in that situation. Detoxing hit him and he was driving him back.”

Dinny meant to vote for me. The score SHOULD be 31-29, me wining.

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE! I'll see you in court.

Graystoke
07-12-2018, 12:12 PM
Dinny meant to vote for me. The score SHOULD be 31-29, me wining.

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE! I'll see you in court.

Where is your Mr. Dinny now suckkkker!

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 12:22 PM
Where is your Mr. Dinny now suckkkker!

Disappointing me. A mod can confirm it too, can't they see deleted messages?

I should't lose on a tie (even though it's not REALLY a tie). There should be a sudden death challenge.

ChiliConCarnage
07-12-2018, 12:24 PM
Dinny meant to vote for me. The score SHOULD be 31-29, me wining.

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE! I'll see you in court.

No hanging chads! You put up a solid fight

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 12:26 PM
I propose Canoworms and I settle this tie breaker with microsoft paint.

Each contestant does an MS paint drawing of our battle and the best painting wins!

kysirsoze
07-12-2018, 12:35 PM
I may have broken the deadlock.

https://media.giphy.com/media/iSxPmDWr97248/giphy.gif

ptlyon
07-12-2018, 12:42 PM
I propose Canoworms and I settle this tie breaker with microsoft paint.

Each contestant does an MS paint drawing of our battle and the best painting wins!

The best nude of Kathy Bates wins!

ChiliConCarnage
07-12-2018, 12:51 PM
I propose Canoworms and I settle this tie breaker with microsoft paint.

Each contestant does an MS paint drawing of our battle and the best painting wins!

This idea intrigues me. If Rainman approves you guys should draw Fisty Mctat vacationing on Isla Nublar

SAUTO
07-12-2018, 03:04 PM
Disappointing me. A mod can confirm it too, can't they see deleted messages?

I should't lose on a tie (even though it's not REALLY a tie). There should be a sudden death challenge.

it wasnt actually deleted. therefore i cant see what it said. he edited the post too quickly.

Shag
07-12-2018, 03:23 PM
it wasnt actually deleted. therefore i cant see what it said. he edited the post too quickly.

Canoworms clearly got to him.

Otter
07-12-2018, 03:30 PM
This is madness!

Detox & Can make eye contact on the beach during the initial charge, listen to the waves crash, and take turns shooting each other with the Quaalude Pellets while watching the sun set.

The first ChiefsPlanet Gladiator Love Story.


It's a prison love story.

Dinny Bossa Nova
07-12-2018, 03:32 PM
Here I am, oxi.

Before I sing like Astrud Gilberto, I need a correct answer in MS Paint:

Would boinking Kathy Bates on Isla Nublar be more enjoyable after PMII pees in your pants and how many hours would you sleep that night after confessing to Dane McCloud?

Dinny

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 04:50 PM
Here I am, oxi.

Before I sing like Astrud Gilberto, I need a correct answer in MS Paint:

Would boinking Kathy Bates on Isla Nublar be more enjoyable after PMII pees in your pants and how many hours would you sleep that night after confessing to Dane McCloud?

Dinny

https://i.imgur.com/GfdL1Tx.jpg

Done.

Detoxing
07-12-2018, 04:53 PM
https://i.imgur.com/YbTetFH.jpg

Dinny Bossa Nova
07-13-2018, 08:09 AM
I can verify that what detox states is true that I intended to vote for him.

I'm not aware of how I made the mistake, it was obviously an errant click or something of the sort, but I meant to vote Detoxing.

Don't know what it all means, but I believe the truth must be told.

Dinny

Detoxing
07-13-2018, 08:57 AM
I can verify that what detox states is true that I intended to vote for him.

I'm not aware of how I made the mistake, it was obviously an errant click or something of the sort, but I meant to vote Detoxing.

Don't know what it all means, but I believe the truth must be told.

Dinny

Thank you Dinny. You are a gentleman and a scholar. May the Force be with you.

Dartgod
07-13-2018, 09:25 AM
Dinny meant to vote for me. The score SHOULD be 31-29, me wining.

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE! I'll see you in court.

Good God, man! Die with some dignity will ya?

ptlyon
07-13-2018, 09:34 AM
Good God, man! Die with some dignity will ya?

We may have a Hilary level kind of break down on our hands

Detoxing
07-13-2018, 10:14 AM
Good God, man! Die with some dignity will ya?

We may have a Hilary level kind of break down on our hands

This is the most controversial issue to hit sports entertainment since the Dez Bryant catch.

Just wait for the 30 for 30 episode to release.