Gladiator 2018 - Round 4, Match 3 - cdcox versus wazu

[Rain Man]

We're down to the Elite Eight - the toughest and/or luckiest warriors on the planet.

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - 25 feet up two separate pine trees five feet apart with two agitated Grizzly Bears below, one looking up each tree from the base
Starting Distance - 5 feet

cdcox

Main Weapon - high-powered squirtgun filled with ammonia
Backup Weapon - high-powered squirtgun filled with ammonia

Prep Time - 12 Minutes
Special Factors - None

wazu

Main Weapon - Police baton
Backup Weapon - 2 boomerangs, one heavy and one bladed, and a handful of salt

Prep Time - 5 Minutes
Special Factors - None

[kysirsoze]

My God. They're both dead. Thing is, if cdcox uses his ammonia I think it will either piss off or arouse both bears. Either way he's fucked. Also, can't grizzlies climb?

Wazu at least has actual weapons. If the bears climb, Wazu holds his off longer before dying, therefore becoming the winner. I say they wait it out, bears lose interest, they climb down, and Wazu commits murder.

[TLO]

I really wish "pocket sand" was the weapon here instead of "a handful of salt"

[TLO]

My God. They're both dead. Thing is, if cdcox uses his ammonia I think it will either piss off or arouse both bears. Either way he's ****ed. Also, can't grizzlies climb?

Wazu at least has actual weapons. If the bears climb, Wazu holds his off longer before dying, therefore becoming the winner. I say they wait it out, bears lose interest, they climb down, and Wazu commits murder.

cdcox is going double fisted with his ammonia blasters!

[kysirsoze]

cdcox is going double fisted with his ammonia blasters!

He might as well be double fishing fresh caught salmon all the good it'll do him.

[Rain Man]

He might as well be double fishing fresh caught salmon all the good it'll do him.

I presume that you hold the theory that ammonia won't dissuade the bear?

[Renegade]

How are the combatants on the pine trees? Are they on branches? Do they have lumberjack gear on them? What is the diameter of the trees, I guessing at least 6 foot.

[DJ's left nut]

Are the trunks somehow 5 feet apart or are the tips of the longest branches 5 feet apart?

[Rain Man]

How are the combatants on the pine trees? Are they on branches? Do they have lumberjack gear on them? What is the diameter of the trees, I guessing at least 6 foot.

Are the trunks somehow 5 feet apart or are the tips of the longest branches 5 feet apart?

We may assume that they're standing on branches, and that the trunks are five feet apart. But they're those pine trees with relatively small branches so you can't just walk from one tree to the other. Perhaps you can jump and grab a branch, though.

[DJ's left nut]

We may assume that they're standing on branches, and that the trunks are five feet apart. But they're those pine trees with relatively small branches so you can't just walk from one tree to the other. Perhaps you can jump and grab a branch, though.

So are they presently standing in the crotch of their respective trees, then?

How are they situated at T=0.

[Buehler445]

Wazu. He can jump over the 5 feet and use his actual weapons.

If they aren’t bear bait first.

[wazu]

He has irritants. I have weapons. The blades boomerang alone should shed enough blood to get the bear hustling up cdcox’s tree. I know he has the squirt gun and so will protect my face. His feeble squirting of Windex will at best douse my clothes and tree and ensure my bear has no interest.

[DJ's left nut]

Concentrated ammonia will burn the shit out of you, Mr. Wazu. If you get doused in that stuff, you're pretty much going to go to ground screaming in agony as you crash through the branches.

You ever see Fight Club? That burn on the hand scene would likely be duplicated over a massive percentage of your body. That 'irritation' would probably put you into shock and kill you, even if the bears decide that you smell too vinegary...

[kysirsoze]

I presume that you hold the theory that ammonia won't dissuade the bear?

They make special mace to deter bears. If regular mace won't do the trick, ammonia sure as hell won't.

[kysirsoze]

Concentrated ammonia will burn the shit out of you, Mr. Wazu. If you get doused in that stuff, you're pretty much going to go to ground screaming in agony as you crash through the branches.

You ever see Fight Club? That burn on the hand scene would likely be duplicated over a massive percentage of your body. That 'irritation' would probably put you into shock and kill you, even if the bears decide that you smell too vinegary...

Pretty sure it's been established in earlier rounds that this is regular household ammonia.

[Otter]

How are the combatants on the pine trees? Are they on branches? Do they have lumberjack gear on them? What is the diameter of the trees, I guessing at least 6 foot. Are you the guy I wanted to whip my pop corn at when watching Ant Man who wouldnt be quiet because it wasn't realistc enogh?

You're the reason people don't go to theaters.

[Rain Man]

So are they presently standing in the crotch of their respective trees, then?

How are they situated at T=0.

I'm envisioning that they're standing on solid branches in these two trees, but the trees are closer together.

https://img.geocaching.com/cache/large/50e066f0-4a2c-47bd-8d80-00382894d06a.jpg

[TLO]

Bump. Don't want this falling off the first page.

[Renegade]

Are you the guy I wanted to whip my pop corn at when watching Ant Man who wouldnt be quiet because it wasn't realistc enogh?

You're the reason people don't go to theaters.

Not me. This will be a close battle. I wanted someone to swing my vote before I voted.

[Rain Man]

Lesson learned: even double-barreled ammonia won't hold off an agitated grizzly bear. wazu moves to Round 5 and the final four.