Life fucking sucks sometimes don't be too proud to get help

[Rasputin]

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255



God fucking dammit

RIP BUDDY

[saphojunkie]

Fuck, dude....

I’m sorry.

[DaFace]

:(

[ShowtimeSBMVP]

So sorry man

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

Prayers

[POND_OF_RED]

Just went through something similar over the past couple of weeks. No one will ever be able to understand it, because hopefully we’re all fortunate enough to never see that sort of darkness take over our lives. May you and all those that loved your friend realize that there is likely nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening no matter how much you try to revisit the warning signs. Everything seems much more clear in hind sight, but it’s never anyone’s fault. Depression sucks. Remember the good times and be thankful that their pain is over. Sorry for your loss.

[Hoover]

Sorry dude. Prayers

[Third Eye]

I lost an old friend yesterday. Apparently OD’d on pills. Don’t yet know if it was intentional or not.

[BigRedChief]

Yeah, it sucks. Sorry for your loss.

I worked with 4 former special forces soldiers. Real tough men. They left work and killed them self’s that night. 22 vets committ suicide every day. Wonder if there was anything I could have done to save those four.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Took the Chiefs loss pretty hard. It's just a game.

[Sassy Squatch]

Took the Chiefs loss pretty hard. It's just a game.
https://media1.tenor.com/images/6b5ecac27e0c8906a105b5e98d14dfa1/tenor.gif

[Buehler445]

Sorry for your loss friend. Depression is a real asshole.

[LongSufferingToady]

I am so sorry. Words can't convey the sadness and frustration with losing a friend or relative to suicide.

[Bowser]

So sorry. Message me if you need to talk, anytime.

[Rasputin]

So sorry. Message me if you need to talk, anytime.



I'm good this just fucking sucks i didn't see it coming I know he works hard for his kids was a good dad. I think stress got the best of him and sometimes not feeling adequate because you can't be everything you want to be for your kids.

That's how i felt in my depression years fighting off those demons is tough. I'm a survivor but this hits me hard he didn't make it :(

[Rasputin]

Depression sucks you put on a front so you think nobody knows what's wrong and you don't want to talk about it. You put blinders on so you get tunnel vision and one thought peers through your head to kill yourself and it's the prevailing thought that doesn't go away. Your mind gets clouded and feelings of hopelessness set in then nothing matters because your not good enough and self worthlessness takes you to the abyss of helplessness.

[Rivaldo]

sending good vibes

<iframe width="880" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JdNj7DW1BpM?start=265&" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Rasputin]

I know there are lurkers who read this message bored and those here also that struggle but don't talk about it but I'm here to reach out and give a message of hope. There is hope I had no hope but by the Grace Of God I am here to say there is hope.



I get pissed when people say God doesn't give us more than we can handle but i call bullshit yes he does but by Grace he can save you just got to believe and that maybe the hardest part.

[POND_OF_RED]

Depression sucks you put on a front so you think nobody knows what's wrong and you don't want to talk about it. You put blinders on so you get tunnel vision and one thought peers through your head to kill yourself and it's the prevailing thought that doesn't go away. Your mind gets clouded and feelings of hopelessness set in then nothing matters because your not good enough and self worthlessness takes you to the abyss of helplessness.

For sure. It really sucks. You would think with all of the outlets that we have through technology today to even feel a little connected to something without having to put too much energy into it, that suicide numbers would decrease. It seems to have had a huge reverse effect though. Internet bullying is sadly now one of the top reasons for suicide among teens today. I’m sure it also doesn’t help that people only get to see little glimpses into there friends lives. Only the glimpses that they want you to see. To a person struggling with depression it can’t be easy to see happy families all over your Facebook wall and think “what the fuck am I doing wrong?” I know this likely isn’t the reason you lost your friend, but I’m sure it has a lot to do with the massive increase in suicides over the years. That and of course the opioid issue.

[ROYC75]

Man, so sorry to hear this, prayers!

[Rasputin]

<iframe width="641" height="481" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RAw-EFuwC3A" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[ChiliConCarnage]

Sorry to hear that KC Tattoo.
These things are so difficult and there is still a bit of a stigma that guys should be tough and shouldn't need help.

[Chiefs=Champions]

Sorry to hear that man. Hang in there

[Bwana]

Sorry to hear about your buddy. :(

[Rasputin]

Sorry to hear about your buddy. :(

His name was Buddy and he was my friend. Fucking sucks. Left four kids behind, single father.

[Coochie liquor]

Really hate to hear this. I lost my son almost 9 years ago to suicide. Jan 29, 2010 was waking up in the worst nightmare you could imagine. I still struggle with the choice he made and will never get over it. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to contact me. I’m no expert, just been through it too, and I know it hurts beyond words. Blessing to you my brother, and hopefully your friend has found the peace he needed in whatever place we go when we leave here.

This is a video I made for him, still cry every time I watch it.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zWoyr7jU6Gc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I know you’re a big time music guy so here’s a few more that seem fitting.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2POsY_9L8Kc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UVnfwjoW7tI" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lQvCyIlkIuY" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qcQ3iegpZTc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/O91awVxpgTU" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/A7ry4cx6HfY" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QSxGnrx6GPU" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0Qzrnty-QqU" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Rasputin]

<iframe width="641" height="481" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pyy1-bs_DBA" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Flying High D]

Yeah, it sucks. Sorry for your loss.

I worked with 4 former special forces soldiers. Real tough men. They left work and killed them self’s that night. 22 vets committ suicide every day. Wonder if there was anything I could have done to save those four.

I guess if you’re a veteran you look at suicide different. Most veterans I bet wouldn’t understand why it’s acceptable to constantly be telling people to go kill themselves. Makes no sense to me how that is acceptable. Probably because most veterans have been affected by it.

[cabletech94]

im sorry for you loss, friend. this is a terrible tragedy. hugs.

[Coochie liquor]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/o5ltwmrKuQ0" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[PAChiefsGuy]

Sorry man.. Stay strong... Time helps with these things.

[Bugeater]

Sorry to hear that KC Tattoo.
These things are so difficult and there is still a bit of a stigma that guys should be tough and shouldn't need help.
Truth right here. I think that's why so many vets fall victim to it. It's also not always easy to recognize, depression can manifest itself in ways most people can never imagine. The reason why I know so much about it...is because I live with it every day.

[Rasputin]

What Is Suicidal Ideation?
A Look at Dangerous Thought Patterns
By Marcia Purse
Updated October 26, 2018

https://www.verywellmind.com/suicidal-ideation-380609

[stevieray]

I know there are lurkers who read this message bored and those here also that struggle but don't talk about it but I'm here to reach out and give a message of hope. There is hope I had no hope but by the Grace Of God I am here to say there is hope.



I get pissed when people say God doesn't give us more than we can handle but i call bullshit yes he does but by Grace he can save you just got to believe and that maybe the hardest part.

Amen, brother, Christ calls us to pick up our cross and follow him.

He won't stop the tribulation , but he promises His grace is there for you.

Godspeed my brother, suicide hits very close to home to me.

Thank you for sharing and reaching out to help others.

[stevieray]

<iframe width="985" height="542" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Eo-UKCxCglg" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Rasputin]

Amen, brother, Christ calls us to pick up our cross and follow him.

He won't stop the tribulation , but he promises His grace is there for you.

Godspeed my brother, suicide hits very close to home to me.

Thank you for sharing and reaching out to help others.


Honestly I'm not taking this well right now this fucking hurts man.

[notorious]

Went through this 7 years, 2 months ago.

It gets better with time, life will go on, his kids will grow up and become their own people.

You will never forget, and it will hit you at the oddest times in life. Eventually you will accept that it was his decision, and there’s nothing you could have done to change his mind. He ****ed up, not you.

It’s also normal to be extremely mad at him, too. He not only gave up on himself, but he let his kids down. They get left with his problems, and they will always have to deal with them.

I am still pissed at my friend, but I’ve accepted it and have moved on.

[kc rush]

Sorry to hear this. Hang in there and bless you for pushing the help message.

[PAChiefsGuy]

Went through this 7 years, 2 months ago.

It gets better with time, life will go on, his kids will grow up and become their own people.

You will never forget, and it will hit you at the oddest times in life. Eventually you will accept that it was his decision, and there’s nothing you could have done to change his mind. He ****ed up, not you.

It’s also normal to be extremely mad at him, too. He not only gave up on himself, but he let his kids down. They get left with his problems, and they will always have to deal with them.

I am still pissed at my friend, but I’ve accepted it and have moved on.

To each their own but id never get pissed at someone for committing suicide. You have no idea the pain they were going through.

They probably feel people are better off without them. They are probably wrong, but to them, in their mental state, that's how they feel.

[pugsnotdrugs19]

Sorry man. Prayers sent. Hurts to read these things as realities.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

It's a good reason to have a boat. I'm getting in mine later today and will go get on the lake with nobody around and it's great to just clear the mind and take worries away. No matter how bad things seem, there's always tomorrow.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255



God fucking dammit

RIP BUDDY


Sorry for your loss, but kudos to you for reaching out to alert others in your time of grief. Good man.

[stevieray]

Honestly I'm not taking this well right now this fucking hurts man.

I know brother. You realize how much you loved when it's replaced by a huge hole in your heart.

:(

...like Bowser said, don't be afraid to reach out, even if you just need someone to listen.

[Bugeater]

Went through this 7 years, 2 months ago.

It gets better with time, life will go on, his kids will grow up and become their own people.

You will never forget, and it will hit you at the oddest times in life. Eventually you will accept that it was his decision, and there’s nothing you could have done to change his mind. He ****ed up, not you.

It’s also normal to be extremely mad at him, too. He not only gave up on himself, but he let his kids down. They get left with his problems, and they will always have to deal with them.

I am still pissed at my friend, but I’ve accepted it and have moved on.Only people that have been to that dark place can understand. If you've never been there...be thankful.

[Rasputin]

I really appreciate CP being here for me and why i've stuck around for over ten years. Through the bickering and flinging poop at each other I've made friends i haven't met yet. Really a remarkable place to be thank you.


I know time is a great healer but this fucking sucks. Through his death i want to save lives that's why I made this thread to help those who suffer. I've suffered myself and survived yet sometimes thoughts unwanted thoughts come creeping back in those scare me but i find ways to move past them because I was once told I'm not God quit acting like him in life over death. Gods time not our time to decide.

[ljmhawk]

Only people that have been to that dark place can understand. If you've never been there...be thankful.

i went through it back in 2005 and was only 20 years old at the time. it is honestly the worst i have ever felt in my life. i would much rather break my ankle, leg etc then go through that depression again. i had no appetite, lost about 40 pounds, couldn’t sleep at all, mind was just racing non stop and was just an emotional roller coaster. i was so very close to following through with it...i had a loaded gun by my night stand, had suicide notes written out to various people including my parents. Luckily, this was during the summer so i was living at home before moving to Lawrence to attend my junior year at KU and my parents basically drug me to the hospital and that is when my sister found the gun, notes etc. so i had to go to a psychiatric hospital and once i was there for a couple days i realized “what am i doing here? this is not me at all.” it was the worst i have ever felt and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. be thankful if you haven’t been through it. now i look back on it and almost laugh

[notorious]

Only people that have been to that dark place can understand. If you've never been there...be thankful.

I agree. I have been very fortunate.

[Coochie liquor]

I can’t stress this enough. Get out of the house for a bit, occupy your mind for a little while. When memories come flooding back in at inopportune times for me, it seems the best medicine. After my sons passing I stayed home, couldn’t work or barely even function for weeks. The guy I was working for called me up and asked if I was ready to go back to work. I said I did the think so. Then he said look I need you to help me, but not nearly as bad as you need to work and have something to get your mind off it. He was so right. Probably the reason I’ve been so immersed in work since that moment. The more I can occupy my mind, the easier it is to deal with in that moment. It never gets easier, you just learn to put your mask of happiness on, and go on with life. It’s what they would have wanted us to do.

[Al Czervik]

KC....
RIP to your friend....
Thoughts and Prayers for you and his family!!

[Sassy Squatch]

Sometimes a simple change in lifestyle is enough to help chase that darkness away. Back when I was on night shift I'd get into these strange "black" moods where I would just get anxious, depressed, and angry for the smallest reasons. Finally got some mild medication that did help quite a bit but once I got on day shift found I didn't need it anymore. Could never quite figure out if it was the solitude of being by myself for the vast majority of my free time or something in the brain from being up all night but fucking glad thats over with.

Really sorry to hear about your friend Buddy.

[scho63]

So sorry for your loss. Men are so stubborn to get help and there are many who suffer from depression....

May this person's family not feel shame or guilt that they couldn't help.

[GloucesterChief]

What Is Suicidal Ideation?
A Look at Dangerous Thought Patterns
By Marcia Purse
Updated October 26, 2018

https://www.verywellmind.com/suicidal-ideation-380609

Yes. I have this and it never really goes away. It is not so bad now and even though I am happy the thought still creeps in from time to time. It just takes the realization that it isn't real and will pass. You have to come to terms that your mind has this flaw in it where it thinks irrationally from time to time. It is a scary thought and something people without mental health problems dismiss because they haven't experienced it.

I really didn't have anything to bad happen to me but I can see others with traumatic experiences with this mental disease succumbing.

[gblowfish]

I'll share a story from a personal friend of mine. Trish Merelo worked with me in radio back in the early 1980s. She is a really cool New Jersey girl who went to work for a record label after college, married a famous musician and ended up living in Nashville to raise a family. Her son committed suicide by jumping off the Natchez Trace Bridge. It devastated her family, as it has other families. Many have chosen this method to end it all.

Trish has been championing an effort to make the bridge "Leap Proof." Sure, some will find alternative methods, but at least this one will no longer be available if she succeeds. My heart is broken for her, as she's a very dear friend, but I admire her courage to go public and turn her loss into something positive and helpful. Story is here:

https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/local/williamson/2019/01/25/natchez-trace-bridge-suicide-barriers-prevention/2481298002/?fbclid=IwAR3Ts7rW-3OKfru34nC2rQS4EXZ565A0pCGlLQjz84lEPLp5gLxlAAkiIxI

[Chiefshrink]

I know there are lurkers who read this message bored and those here also that struggle but don't talk about it but I'm here to reach out and give a message of hope. There is hope I had no hope but by the Grace Of God I am here to say there is hope.



I get pissed when people say God doesn't give us more than we can handle but i call bullshit yes he does but by Grace he can save you just got to believe and that maybe the hardest part.

Agree thoroughly with you Tat my man. You are absolutely correct that He does give us more than we can handle so that we will look to Him so that His grace and mercy will save us.:hail:

[notorious]

I just finished talking to my wife about this. We lost her younger sister to suicide 5 years ago. Every time we hear these stories we relive the moment of our own lost loved ones. It hit my wife extremely hard, and we had to go through it all over again when the local PD thought she was murdered 2 years after her death.

Not enough evidence, PD completely aborted the investigation. Sat through court proceedings only to watch everything completely fail.

Nobody murdered her, she killed herself.

Nothing like ripping old wounds wide open again.

It will pass over time.

Keep your chin up, and stay active. You have a tremendous support group of good, honest people here, too.

[Indian Chief]

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255



God ****ing dammit

RIP BUDDY

Very sorry to hear this.

If anyone is going through a tough time or you know someone who is, don't be afraid to say something. Please.

[Demonpenz]

Depression is a killer and you get nothing but hassle from people trying to get help. Dealing with HR and getting time off for depression makes me want to kill myself in itself. You learn real fast that you tell people you are having depression and they make it about themselves. "WHEN I AM FEELING DOWN I JUST SMILE!" THANKS BUDDY FOR THE HELP.

[Demonpenz]

It's is hard to get help then when you get help it just makes it worse. I had a nice 30,000 medical bill I finally paid off a couple years ago. I finally started just telling people that I am going to stop getting help because it just doesn't help much. Always the same shit. Work out, eat right, pray, get sleep that will be 2 grand that insurance doesn't cover.

[DrunkBassGuitar]

Sucks man, I'm sorry for your lost.

You're right though, there is no shame in asking for help. There's no stigma in getting chemotherapy or knee surgery, why would there be anything wrong with going to see a therapist or a psychiatrist?

[DrunkBassGuitar]

I just finished talking to my wife about this. We lost her younger sister to suicide 5 years ago. Every time we hear these stories we relive the moment of our own lost loved ones. It hit my wife extremely hard, and we had to go through it all over again when the local PD thought she was murdered 2 years after her death.

Not enough evidence, PD completely aborted the investigation. Sat through court proceedings only to watch everything completely fail.

Nobody murdered her, she killed herself.

Nothing like ripping old wounds wide open again.

It will pass over time.

Keep your chin up, and stay active. You have a tremendous support group of good, honest people here, too.

Jesus, your poor wife. That must have been horrible for her

[jerryaldini]

I'm very sorry. My daughter has struggled. Ran the gauntlet of medication and counseling. Then she went to an intensive full-time daytime program for about three months and it did wonders for her. Nothing short of a lifesaver. This stuff is so frightening.

[Coochie liquor]

House full of roses
A letter on the stairs
A tape full of messages
For anyone who cares
Collage of broken words
and stories full of tears
Remembering your life
'Cause we wish that you were here
Nothing is harder
Than to wake up all alone
Realize it's not okay
It's the end of all you know
Time keeps passing by
But it seems I'm frozen still
Scars are left behind
But some too deep to feel
And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all's gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We're all just victims of a crime
Some days you'll find me
In a place I like to go
Ask questions to myself
'Bout the things I'll never know
What's left to find
'Cause I need a little more
I need a little time
Can we even up the score?
And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all's gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We're all just victims of a crime
And nothing lasts forever
For all good days it's true
I'd rather tred it all
For somehow saving you
It must have been the season
That've threw us out of line
Once I stood so tall
Now I'm searching for a sign
So don't need your salvation
With promises and kind
And all those speculations
Save it for another time
'Cause we all need a reason
A reason just to stay
Some just can't be bothered
To stick around another day
And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We've all been victims of a crime
When all is gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside (oh)
We've all been victims of a crime
Victims of a crime
Living with this crime
I'm missing you
I'm missing you
I'm missing you
I'm missing you

[2112]

So Sorry for your loss. I lost a life long friend who took his own life in February 2017.

[notorious]

Jesus, your poor wife. That must have been horrible for her

Yes. Still is.

She’s the toughest person I know hands down.

[cooper barrett]

The least course of resistance is never the right move.

I feel "with" you and please, if you feel something is wrong, never forget to ask if everything is OK and to do something when you feel it's not. Your friends somehow let you know there is a problem.

I have been where you are too many times. Seek peace with yourself in knowing you made an effort, not dwell on the fact that your effort wasn't the cure.

In my case, her note mentioned that I was the best thing she would not allow to help her was me and we had not been together for months....Took me like forever....

My current SO helped me come to terms with the fact that I wanted to turn the spotlight on my self when it deserved to be shined elsewhere. She is a keeper.

[LoneWolf]

Depression is a killer and you get nothing but hassle from people trying to get help. Dealing with HR and getting time off for depression makes me want to kill myself in itself. You learn real fast that you tell people you are having depression and they make it about themselves. "WHEN I AM FEELING DOWN I JUST SMILE!" THANKS BUDDY FOR THE HELP.

If you have diagnosed depression, you can qualify for FMLA time away from work. HR can’t deny it because it is a federal law.

[Chris Meck]

I've struggled since my wife died of cancer at 36. It's been 5 years now.

I know what that dark pit looks like, I've spent a lot of time in it.

After watching her struggle for every last minute on this rock, it'd just be disrespectful to throw it away because I'm sad.

But I certainly understand the urge.

[notorious]

I've struggled since my wife died of cancer at 36. It's been 5 years now.

I know what that dark pit looks like, I've spent a lot of time in it.

After watching her struggle for every last minute on this rock, it'd just be disrespectful to throw it away because I'm sad.

But I certainly understand the urge.


Oh man. I'm crying right now. I don't know what to say.

[Chris Meck]

Oh man. I'm crying right now. I don't know what to say.

It's life. The worst part, but it is a part.

I would do it all again, in a heartbeat.

[notorious]

It's life. The worst part, but it is a part.

I would do it all again, in a heartbeat.

(Nods head quietly)

[Simply Red]

I just saw this - many prayers for their family and for you, my friend. Sorry to read of this.