I just clogged the toilet at work - what should I do?

[TLO]

I'm not a large man, and typically don't take large dumps - but sweet baby Jesus I just took a shit that would make Randy Marsh proud.

Problem is, the toilet is CLOGGED - and as I was attempting to plunge away at the toilet, the plunger handle broke.

Now I need advice on what to do.

Poll.

[ChiefBlueCFC]

Shit again

[WhawhaWhat]

Get your hand in there and push it down.

[srvy]

Walk away unless your a plumber:shrug:

[WhiteWhale]

Harikari is the only solution.

[Dunerdr]

jerk one out in the toilet for lubrication.

[New World Order]

LMAO

[SuperBowl4]

Man up and tell everyone you work with what you did. They'll be glad you did and respect you for it.:thumb:

[Munson]

Grab a poop knife and chop it up into little pieces.

[TribalElder]

immediately leave the bathroom and start complaining that the toilet was clogged

find another bathroom and cruise chiefs planet in the stall for a while for appearances

profit

[TribalElder]

also, this is why I like to poop by the finance department

[Iowanian]

You've seen close encounters of the 3rd kind? The mashed potatoes sculpture?


It's obvious that the solution is to scoop that bad boy out into a box and build a devils tower replica on your favorite coworkers desk.

If you have time you can carve mt rush,ore with the broken handle.

[Graystoke]

NEVER DO THE WALK OF SHAME....NEVER

[BWillie]

Take a picture and poast it on Chiefsplanattt!

[Rasputin]

"Shitter full"



Call cousin Eddie

[chinaski]

It's basically a public toilet, not your problem. It's their fault for not providing a quality plunger.

[Frazod]

Somewhat unrelated, but I noticed about a month ago that an aerosol can of air freshener appeared in the mens room at the office.

I don't know who put it there, but if the gas cloud was bad enough to motivate him to actually bring in air freshener, damn, he must have been severely traumatized. LMAO

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

I shit in nothing thats not a Champion.

[Munson]

Well, what did OP do about it?

[Mile High Mania]

My advice is to always walk away gracefully, act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened... be a man and don't post about poopy on the interwebs.

[KCUnited]

Demand a promotion or it could happen again.

[ModSocks]

Stick your hand in the bowl and fix the clog, like a real man.

[ModSocks]

Also, can a shit REALLY clog the toilet? I imagine you wadded up a grip of shit paper and maybe even flushed the wax paper.

[Bearcat]

Also, can a shit REALLY clog the toilet? I imagine you wadded up a grip of shit paper and maybe even flushed the wax paper.

Yes.


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[KCUnited]

Way back before auto flushers, if I dropped a Loch Ness monster that protruded the water, I'd leave it for the next person.

[chinaski]

Years ago one of the overnight guys had an accident at work that was much worse than yours. MUCH WORSE.

The offending party basically shat himself on the way to the bathroom leaving a trail all the way to the john. At the end of the trail, was a pair of soiled 40+ briefs in the stall.

Both of the guys that worked the graveyard were heavy-set, and neither one of them owned up to it.

[rabblerouser]

Reminds me of a dump I left in Terre Haute 11 years ago.

[The Franchise]

immediately leave the bathroom and start complaining that the toilet was clogged

find another bathroom and cruise chiefs planet in the stall for a while for appearances

profit

This is the logical answer.

[TLO]

Saw the landlord of our office building walking in with both a plunger and a snake about 4:55pm.

Have a good weekend!

[CrazyPhuD]

You should have posted that shit on instagram with pride. Given everyone in the office FOMO. :cuss:

[TLO]

My office is populated by mostly women. There's 12 women and only 2 men. (RIP during 1 week of the month or so). The men's room is practicality my own private commode. Thankfully we have a responsible landlord to service my shitting area.

[CrazyPhuD]

Well hell in that case the problem is stupid simple to solve...you just swap the signs on the men's and women's restrooms and you're done.

[siberian khatru]

Also, can a shit REALLY clog the toilet?

Are you kidding me? Ima come over your house and demonstrate.

[njchiefs]

I remember when I was in college, this guy PJ called us all into his dorm bathroom to show us his “masterpiece” ... a single, continuous log that wrapped round and round like a soft serve ice cream, seemingly endlessly, filling up at least a third of the bowl. So yes a shit, even without paper, can clog up the pipes.

[Athis]

Anytime you have to take a crap at work it is an emergency. I had one at work and I barely made it..no exaggeration. A half second later I would have been lucky if I just messed my shorts. Needless to say about half of it made it into the toilet. I still thank the Lord for sparing me that day. I would have had to walk from the second floor and pass by a bunch cubicles of workers to the garage.

[lewdog]

Also, can a shit REALLY clog the toilet? I imagine you wadded up a grip of shit paper and maybe even flushed the wax paper.

Holy fucking Beta post!

Are you even a man?!?!?!

[SuperBowl4]

Anytime you have to take a crap at work it is an emergency. I had one at work and I barely made it..no exaggeration. A half second later I would have been lucky if I just messed my shorts. Needless to say about half of it made it into the toilet. I still thank the Lord for sparing me that day. I would have had to walk from the second floor and pass by a bunch cubicles of workers to the garage.Is that where you keep your backups?

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Kill yourself. It really is the best solution for all parties involved.

[carcosa]

Just did some yucky diarrhea at home

[New World Order]

Just did some yucky diarrhea at home

I had taco bell tonight too!

Hi five!

[PunkinDrublic]

I’ve clogged up toilets in people’s homes and didn’t say shit, you think I give a fuck about the people I work with?

[Hoopsdoc]

Well hell in that case the problem is stupid simple to solve...you just swap the signs on the men's and women's restrooms and you're done.

Winner winner.

Just claim the urinals were always there.

[BlackHelicopters]

Upper deck the toilet next time to complete a daily double.

[MeaTy The Pimp]

That's why it is strictly upper-deckers for me whenever possible.

[Gravedigger]

I’m glad you give a shit.

[Gravedigger]

Stick your hand in the bowl and fix the clog, like a real man.

We had to do that in boot camp at MCRD, luckily they gave my friend a trash bag and a rubber band to wrap his arm.

[Bob Dole]

I remember when I was in college, this guy PJ called us all into his dorm bathroom to show us his “masterpiece” ... a single, continuous log that wrapped round and round like a soft serve ice cream, seemingly endlessly, filling up at least a third of the bowl. So yes a shit, even without paper, can clog up the pipes.

I had one like that. I named it Curly and posted a thread.

[MahiMike]

Never, never, never poop at work.

[Bowser]

Excellent work and advice in this thread. I may just have to sticky this one for future reference.

[Bowser]

Never, never, never poop at work.

I'd rather get paid to drop a deuce than to do it pro bono.

[Munson]

Sometimes it is unavoidable.

Sent from my SM-J737T using Tapatalk

[ping2000]

Tell them you identify as female so you use the ladies room not the men's room. "Couldn't have been me!"

[Mosbonian]

Never ever use the bathroom on the floor where you work!! Use the one furthest from your office/cubicle

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

I'd rather get paid to drop a deuce than to do it pro bono.

This. It's like getting a bonus for pleasuring your bowels.

[JohnnyHammersticks]

Revel in it. Own it.

Fill the bowl the rest of the way full of toilet paper except for the 20 ft. streamers you tape to the bottom of each shoe. Then keep cramming more and more tp down the hole with the broken plunger handle like you were packing gunpowder into a cannon. Clog it so badly that they need to call a whole team of plumbers. Then pimp-walk out of the restroom grinning, with your belt unbuckled, TP hanging off both shoes, and challenge everyone in the office to take a bigger shit than you just took. Wink at the nearest female and tell her she better put on a hazmat suit. Crack a few "somehow an elephant got into our shitter" jokes just for icing on the cake. Your co-workers won't know how to react to this and will end up being even more uncomfortable than you are now. Trust me on this one.

Then sue them for public workplace humiliation if they attempt to give you any grief over it.

[scho63]

Plant a flag of the Denver Broncos in it

[Buehler445]

ROFL I love this place.

[Iowanian]

Years ago I dedicated several poems on this site related to this very topic.

[SAUTO]

Holy shit. I'm crying

[Bwana]

http://i.imgur.com/RUMQVVd.gif (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiln4qIu9bjAhUCslQKHdR5CSYQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fgifs%2Fcomments%2F1c2w3t%2Fupdated_infomercial_plunger_failur e%2F&psig=AOvVaw24ZR-tGX_EB4bTT22XwuVL&ust=1564363637207628)

[Reerun_KC]

It’s work. Keep flushing until it goes down.

[Bowser]

Damn near clogged the toilet at my place just now. I blame TLO for this nonsense.

[Munson]

Some of you need to start using a courtesy flush.

It will reduce the stench, and it will reduce the likelihood of clogging the toilet with the Chipotle burrito-sized logs coming out of your asses!

ROFL