Queen guitarist Brian May shreds his ass in a gardening accident

[rabblerouser]

The Virus didn’t get me yet – thank God,” the 72-year-old wrote in his caption. “I managed to rip my Gluteus Maximus to shreds in a moment of over-enthusiastic gardening. So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself.

"RIPPED TO SHREDS"!?

How in the fuck...what kind of gardening??

[Rasputin]

Is this like when Keith Richards fell out of a coco nut tree?

[BigRedChief]

"RIPPED TO SHREDS"!?

How in the ****...what kind of gardening??Fall on a rake?

[cdcox]

Sat on the blades of a rototiller?

[Naptown Chief]

Clearly he was trying to remove something from his butthole.

[scho63]

May is starting out just ASSTASTIC! ROFL

[JohnnyHammersticks]

Not the first member of Queen to have his ass ripped to shreds.

Maybe the first to have it done involuntarily though.

[siberian khatru]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tZrqC5LL_oo/hqdefault.jpg

A bizarre gardening accident ...

[chinaski]

Well, at least he managed to keep himself alive, but he won't be winning any bicycle races anytime soon. At least he wasn't stung by any bees and their killer queen! He must have been under pressure to release this information to the public, but at the end of the day, the show must go on.

[neech]

Brian May taken to hospital after tearing buttock muscles "while gardening"
Queen guitarist says ‘I won’t be able to walk for a while’ after injury during lockdown.

Brian May has complained of “relentless pain” after he was taken to hospital following a gardening injury that tore muscles in his buttocks.

Writing on Instagram, the Queen guitarist said: “I managed to rip my gluteus maximus to shreds in a moment of overenthusiastic gardening. So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself. Turns out I did a thorough job – this is a couple of days ago – and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless.”


https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/08/brian-may-hospitalised-gardening-injury-tears-buttock-muscles

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

Hip breaking age must be 80s+

[Why Not?]

Well, at least he managed to keep himself alive, but he won't be winning any bicycle races anytime soon. At least he wasn't stung by any bees and their killer queen! He must have been under pressure to release this information to the public, but at the end of the day, the show must go on.

At least he lived. Would be sad if another one bit the dust.

[rabblerouser]

You guys, thousands of spontaneous ass-shreddings occur each year. It’s just not widely reported.

You could be next with a shredded ass.

[Chief Northman]

Freddie snuck up behind him

[Demonpenz]

The price you pay for jamming with Jeffrey Porcaro

[Rain Man]

Apparently there was an argument in the emergency room between Brian May, some doctors who wanted to admit him and some others who thought he could be released. It went like this:

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go (let him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go (let him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go (let him go!)
Will not let you go (let him go!)
Never, never let you go
Never let me go, oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

[Kiimo]

Cocaine is really bad for muscles. Seriously.

[Hammock Parties]

If he was a fat-bottomed girl, the extra cushioning would have helped.

[journeyscarab]

Guess it would make sitting at a Night at the Opera pretty uncomfortable. He butt would definitely be Under Pressure sitting in those theater seats.

[InChiefsHeaven]

Well, at least he managed to keep himself alive, but he won't be winning any bicycle races anytime soon. At least he wasn't stung by any bees and their killer queen! He must have been under pressure to release this information to the public, but at the end of the day, the show must go on.

After the accident, he won't be confused with any fat bottomed girls. The guy was stone cold crazy, but hey, who wants to live forever? He wanted to break free, but in a flash he found himself working in his garden, lazy on a Sunday afternoon.

[2bikemike]

If he was a fat-bottomed girl, the extra cushioning would have helped.

Should have rode his Bicycle! He loves to ride his bike!

[redfan]

"Over-enthusiastic gardening." Crazy Brits and their euphemisms.

[Kiimo]

I saw on twitter that gardening naked was trending.


Reinforces the rake hypothesis

[rabblerouser]

Cocaine is really bad for muscles. Seriously.

That's why I prefer IV over IM. Less burn.

[rabblerouser]

Wonder how Brian's ass is healing...