Adam Teicher completely screws up the NFL Nation redraft

[carcosa]

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/29234387/re-drafting-nfl-picked-128-foundational-players-all-32-teams

First of all I hate the premise of this article because it imagines a world where we don't have Patrick Mahomes. But also check out Adam Teicher's draft:


Round 1 (32): Stephon Gilmore, CB
Round 2 (33): Dalvin Cook, RB
Round 3 (96): Nick Chubb, RB
Round 4 (97): Tyrod Taylor, QB

I was guided by the "best player available" philosophy throughout and was pleasantly surprised at the availability of the NFL's top cornerback in Gilmore and a couple of versatile backs in Cook and Chubb. But having seen how the draft unfolded, I made a mistake in waiting until my second wave of back-to-back picks to get my quarterback.

I anticipated a better selection of QBs being available when I passed the first time around, and I was wrong. Instead of Cook, I should have gone for a veteran like Kirk Cousins, Derek Carr or Jared Goff, or even a younger player like Justin Herbert or Jarrett Stidham. But now I'm stuck with a journeyman at the game's most important position, and I'm afraid I'm doomed to a lowly record and a much higher draft pick next year. -- Teicher

Stat to know: Virtually the opposite of the real-life Chiefs, this Kansas City team will be run-heavy. It features a backfield with last year's second-ranked (Chubb) and seventh-ranked (Cook) rushers in rushing yards per game. And when he was a starter from 2015 to '17, Taylor's 1,575 rushing yards and 14 rushing TDs trailed only Cam Newton among QBs.

Mike Clay's draft grade: Tier 4. Starting with the league's best corner was great, but back-to-back running backs and a 30-year-old borderline backup QB is problematic.


Hey Adam..... Fuck u!!!!!!!

[tyecopeland]

Yeah I just read that. Pretty terrible draft. But I expected nothing less when I opened it.

[WhawhaWhat]

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/29234387/re-drafting-nfl-picked-128-foundational-players-all-32-teams

First of all I hate the premise of this article because it imagines a world where we don't have Patrick Mahomes. But also check out Adam Teicher's draft:



Hey Adam..... **** u!!!!!!!

Who would you have drafted?

[wazu]

Who would you have drafted?

Just a quick glance it looks like he coulda had Honey Badger instead of Nick Chubb. Or coulda taken Josh Allen early and gotten Chubb instead of Cook. It's pretty brutal drafting 32/33.

[ModSocks]

How the fuck does he still have a job. This is crazy.

[carcosa]

Who would you have drafted?

I would have beaten up the editor who gave me such a vile assignment!!!!

[stumppy]

Does Teicher even football? Doesn't look like it.

[carcosa]

Does Teicher even football? Doesn't look like it.

Back-to-back running backs!!!! Somebody slap this man!!!!!

[tyecopeland]

Who would you have drafted?

It's not just that our picks suck. It's just a terrible concept. And I could probably forgive ending up with tyrod based on the format but taking rbs back to back is stupid for this exercise.

[Hoover]

I think it's brilliant. He's sucking so we can draft Lawrence!

[RealSNR]

Dalvin Cook was a horrible fucking pick. He should be put to death for that pick.

[Sorce]

Does Teicher even football? Doesn't look like it.

From what I've gathered he just follows other people on twitter and retweets when they break news.

[carcosa]

Dalvin Cook was a horrible fucking pick. He should be put to death for that pick.

I am generally against the death penalty except in this case!!!!!! (Also all Patriots fans should be executed)

[lcarus]

Teicher's draft was like he didn't even give a shit and just picked whatever.

But it's still almost as good as the Denver guy's draft. Drew Lock with the first pick (lmao), Travis Kelce, Isaiah Simmons, Courtland Sutton. What a dumb homer.

[Rain Man]

Ronnie Stanley was the sixth pick in the entire draft? Really? Sixth pick?

And I'm laughing at the Bronco guy who picked Drew Lock 15th overall. There's a fair amount of homerism as you look at the list, but that's pretty much tops.

[DrRyan]

How the **** does he still have a job. This is crazy.

It truly is amazing. I am anti hyperbole but I don't really know if I can come up with a worse sports writer off the top of my head.

[Rain Man]

And I'm puzzling about how Dalvin Cook was taken 33rd and Nick Chubb was taken 96th. Chubb is a far better player at the same position.

[duncan_idaho]

Holy shit, it's even worse if you look at the full list.

1/2) He takes Gilmore/Cook. This is with Myles Garrett, T.J. Watt, Chase Young, Danielle Hunter, Camerson Jordan all on the board on defense (All better picks than Gilmore) and with a bunch of better skill players available offensively. Like... Saquon Barkley (who is better than Cook at everything). And more valuable players at WR in Julio Jones and Davante Adams.

3/4) He takes another motherfucking RB with his next pick, when Stafon Diggs, A.J. Brown, Courtland Sutton, Kenny Golladay, and then uses his last pick on a journeyman QB.

I mean, at that point, just take a good player and say you're using a journeyman QB and building the best roster around them.

[Miles]

Houstons’ first pick as Deandre Hopkins was amusing.

[KC_Connection]

He took Dalvin Cook at 33? Holy shit.

[Rain Man]

If I'm taking into account the draft position, the best drafts would have to be:

Dolphins - Not a Cousins fan, but overall it's a solid draft.
Cowboys - I'm not a fan of Keenan Allen at all, but the other three picks are gold.
Texans - Solid draft for being late in the order

But Cincinnati is still going to win the Super Bowl. We all know why.


The worst picks are:

Los Angeles Chargers. WTF?
Las Vegas Raiders. Too homer.
Eagles - Mostly unproven guys.

[Rain Man]

Houstons’ first pick as Deandre Hopkins was amusing.

She made a statement there, and still pretty much nailed the draft. That may be the best draft of the group.

I wonder if she'll be banned from O'Brien's press conferences for the 11 games this year where he's still the coach.

[Rasputin]

Adam Teicher can fuck an angry red ant hole and get stung in the asshole by a Murder Hornet.

[DJ's left nut]

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/29234387/re-drafting-nfl-picked-128-foundational-players-all-32-teams

First of all I hate the premise of this article because it imagines a world where we don't have Patrick Mahomes. But also check out Adam Teicher's draft:



Hey Adam..... Fuck u!!!!!!!

And this, fellas, is why you just don't listen to a damn thing Teicher says. Ever.

Guy actually thought he'd get an above average quarterback 100 picks into an NFL draft.

He simply has no understanding of modern football. And he's never been connected at all. He's just goddamn worthless. The only reason I clicked on this is I thought it said "Schefter" and was damn confused as I read it.

Then it all made a LOT of sense when I saw it was actually Teicher. The guy's completely out of touch.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

2 running backs....2....running backs

[Jewish Rabbi]

I hope he fucking dies!!!

[Rain Man]

2 running backs....2....running backs

And he looked at this list of available running backs:

Saquon Barkley
Alvin Kamara
Ezekiel Elliott
Nick Chubb

and said, "Y'know, I think I'll go with Dalvin Cook."

[carcosa]

I hope he fucking dies!!!

SAME!!!!!!

[KC Hawks]

Teicher probably thinks Dr Pepper Cream Soda tastes like SHIT!!

[DJ's left nut]

And he looked at this list of available running backs:

Saquon Barkley
Alvin Kamara
Ezekiel Elliott
Nick Chubb

and said, "Y'know, I think I'll go with Dalvin Cook."

HAHAHA!

Lord he's an idiot. And I really like Cook.

But he's just an idiot.

[CasselGotPeedOn]

He should be put to death.

FYP

[tyecopeland]

Holy shit, it's even worse if you look at the full list.

1/2) He takes Gilmore/Cook. This is with Myles Garrett, T.J. Watt, Chase Young, Danielle Hunter, Camerson Jordan all on the board on defense (All better picks than Gilmore) and with a bunch of better skill players available offensively. Like... Saquon Barkley (who is better than Cook at everything). And more valuable players at WR in Julio Jones and Davante Adams.

3/4) He takes another motherfucking RB with his next pick, when Stafon Diggs, A.J. Brown, Courtland Sutton, Kenny Golladay, and then uses his last pick on a journeyman QB.

I mean, at that point, just take a good player and say you're using a journeyman QB and building the best roster around them.

The rules of this dumbass idea was that you HAD to take a qb in the 4 picks. And this dipshit still thought there would be someone worthwhile 4th round.

[Johnny Vegas]

He probably made this list drinking white claws

[DJ's left nut]

Holy shit, it's even worse if you look at the full list.

1/2) He takes Gilmore/Cook. This is with Myles Garrett, T.J. Watt, Chase Young, Danielle Hunter, Camerson Jordan all on the board on defense (All better picks than Gilmore) and with a bunch of better skill players available offensively. Like... Saquon Barkley (who is better than Cook at everything). And more valuable players at WR in Julio Jones and Davante Adams.

3/4) He takes another motherfucking RB with his next pick, when Stafon Diggs, A.J. Brown, Courtland Sutton, Kenny Golladay, and then uses his last pick on a journeyman QB.

I mean, at that point, just take a good player and say you're using a journeyman QB and building the best roster around them.

Anytime you can take the Chargers and remove their pass rush, it's CLEARLY the best way to a championship.

This team goes 3-13, right? Worse? I mean I can't imagine anyone in that article has a WORSE 4 picks than Teicher.

Lord he's an idiot.

[smithandrew051]

I must have read Teicher’s picks at a speed of 1 kilometer per second, because now I really want to kms.

[Deberg_1990]

I think I would have taken joe burrow or Tua over Gilmore.

[duncan_idaho]

The rules of this dumbass idea was that you HAD to take a qb in the 4 picks. And this dipshit still thought there would be someone worthwhile 4th round.

What a really fucking stupid exercise, then.

[Bowser]

He gave no fucks and totally auto-drafted that shit, lol

[PHOG]

One could leave out "the NFL Nation redraft" from the thread title, and pretty much sum up Adam Teicher. :shake:

[DJ's left nut]

He gave no fucks and totally auto-drafted that shit, lol

HAHA!

Y'know what, you're probably right. And the worst part? It's the most charitable explanation you can possibly come up with for that abomination.

This is the same thing as the Brooke Pryor experience - is the ESPN Chiefs Beat Writer gig an unpaid internship? Is this something Teicher has been doing in his free time for a decade for 'exposure' and is just so damn bad at it he can't get a real job?

Surely nobody gives him actual spendable money for his performance in that role. He's like Kevin Kietzman....if Kevin Kietzman had Aphasia or something.

[ThaVirus]

If I'm taking into account the draft position, the best drafts would have to be:

Dolphins - Not a Cousins fan, but overall it's a solid draft.
Cowboys - I'm not a fan of Keenan Allen at all, but the other three picks are gold.
Texans - Solid draft for being late in the order

But Cincinnati is still going to win the Super Bowl. We all know why.


The worst picks are:

Los Angeles Chargers. WTF?
Las Vegas Raiders. Too homer.
Eagles - Mostly unproven guys.

I liked the value in some of the teams picking late who nabbed blue chippers while taking flyers on boom or bust QB types. The Titans and 49ers stand out in that crowd.

[tyecopeland]

HAHA!

Y'know what, you're probably right. And the worst part? It's the most charitable explanation you can possibly come up with for that abomination.

This is the same thing as the Brooke Pryor experience - is the ESPN Chiefs Beat Writer gig an unpaid internship? Is this something Teicher has been doing in his free time for a decade for 'exposure' and is just so damn bad at it he can't get a real job?

Surely nobody gives him actual spendable money for his performance in that role. He's like Kevin Kietzman....if Kevin Kietzman had Aphasia or something.

Speaking of... She picked a player and gave the rationale that she still hasn't gotten over his predraft workout and couldn't resist picking someone so jacked.

[Rain Man]

My favorite celebrity draft is Dan Fouts' draft in this event a while back:

https://www.si.com/specials/mmqb-nfl-all-time-draft/index.html

If you ever thought Dan Fouts had an IQ over 80 (and I doubt that you did), this will change your mind. He had the #4 pick of all time players, and he went with Ray Guy. Jim Brown and Joe Montana and Peyton Manning were on the board. Here's his justification:

https://www.si.com/specials/mmqb-nfl-all-time-draft/rosters/dan-fouts.html

I wanted a roster that, number one, could win and, number two, could entertain. We are an entertainment business, right? Ray Guy at 4? I didn’t want to be stuck at the end of the draft without a punter because there are so few of them that are great, and in my mind Ray Guy is the best.

Three of his top four picks were on kicker and punter and tight end. His team ended up starting guys like Gary "Big Hands" Johnson and Tom Jackson and he drafted his entire receiving corps in San Diego. Keep in mind that this is a draft of all-time players. Matched up against any other team in that game, he would have lost 72-0 at best. It's so bad that after a while you stop laughing and start wondering what's wrong with him.

[carcosa]

Teicher probably thinks Dr Pepper Cream Soda tastes like SHIT!!

That white bitch has probably NEVER cummed due to soda!!!!!

[tyecopeland]

PFF is now taking a shot at this redraft thing and with 2 rounds in, I'm not convinced we're in a great spot still but it's a hell of a lot better than what teicher gave us.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
Drafted by Josh Hermsmeyer, writer and football analyst at fivethirtyeight.com
Round 1 (32): DI Aaron Donald
Round 2 (33): Edge Chase Young
Round 3 (96):
Round 4 (97):

“I love the idea of beefing up a secondary, but I'm at the turn here, and even two stud cornerbacks is leaving me at least one — and probably two — links short of having a dominant secondary. What I can do at this turn is make a devastating front line — an incredible D-line. And so what do you do? You take the best current defensive lineman in all the NFL in Aaron Donald, and then on the way back you take one of the best prospects that we've seen on the edge in whoever knows how long in youngster Chase Young.” – Josh Hermsmeyer


https://www.pff.com/news/nfl-redrafting-the-nfls-32-teams-patrick-mahomes-bengals-aaron-rodgers-jaguars

[Jerok]

PFF is now taking a shot at this redraft thing and with 2 rounds in, I'm not convinced we're in a great spot still but it's a hell of a lot better than what teicher gave us.



https://www.pff.com/news/nfl-redrafting-the-nfls-32-teams-patrick-mahomes-bengals-aaron-rodgers-jaguars

Aaron Donald fell to 32? Aren't these guys the ones who ranked him #1 best player in the league?

[tyecopeland]

Aaron Donald fell to 32? Aren't these guys the ones who ranked him #1 best player in the league?

Yep but 27 qbs were taken before the chiefs pick. So only 4 non qbs were taken ahead of him. Positional impact matters.

First 26 picks were qbs.

[Rain Man]

Aaron Donald fell to 32? Aren't these guys the ones who ranked him #1 best player in the league?

It looks like their first 27 picks are all quarterbacks. Quarterbacks are the key, but if I've got pick #27 I'm not sure that I'd take the 27th best quarterback over every other player in the league.

[KChiefs1]

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/29234387/re-drafting-nfl-picked-128-foundational-players-all-32-teams

First of all I hate the premise of this article because it imagines a world where we don't have Patrick Mahomes. But also check out Adam Teicher's draft:



Hey Adam..... Fuck u!!!!!!!


This moron covers the Chiefs.

[carcosa]

This moron covers the Chiefs.

^ THIS!!!!!! ^