Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 7

[Rain Man]

The rules are:

1. You can vote 'yes' on as many as you like, AND you can vote 'no' on as many as you like. Feel free to run wild.

2. The winner of the heat will be the name that has the highest net score (yes minus no). This will reflect the name that has the most satisfaction and least disapproval. In other words, it will be the least controversial name.

We'll have 16 heats in Round 1, with one winner per heat. The entrants have been selected randomly from the nomination thread.


As background, assume that it's 2024. President Ted Nugent has just distributed holsters to every American household. He is now seeking to build consensus across the parties, so he names Elizabeth Warren as the nation's "sports czar". Elizabeth's first order of business is to eliminate Native American-themed sports names, because there's nothing she hates more than white people making money by appropriating native american culture.

So the Chiefs have no choice but to change names. If they don't, the team will be banned and a new replacement team will be formed in Los Angeles, because if you keep putting teams there, eventually people will start watching them. (That tentative team name is the Los Angeles Trembling Fawns if you're curious.)

In a bit of good news, they're allowing the fans to select the new name, so we're on the clock. Do your best work, people.

[Rain Man]

My votes are below.

Positives - Chief Executive Officers, Hominids.

Okay, imagine this. The Kansas City Chief Executive Officers (nickname: Chiefs) take the field. Departmenthead stadium is rocking with 80,000 people rhythmically extending and withdrawing their arms in a handshake gesture as the sound system rocks out our fight song, "Takin' Care of Business". On the sidelines, our cheerleaders dance in their sexy pencil skirts with low-cut white blouses. I could really get behind this. We'd have to figure out a helmet logo, but the rest is awesome.

Now imagine an alternate universe. We keep the arrowhead and arrowhead stadium, but it's an early flint arrowhead. No difference, no harm. The team enters to the shouts of 80,000 wannabe neanderthals, clad in fur and waving clubs. On the sidelines, our cheerleaders are dressed like Raquel Welch in the movie 1 million BC. The fight song is, of course, "We Will Rock You". I could do this.

Neutral - Captains, Midwesterners, Camels. These are all okay names. I won't vote against them, but they don't offer the imagery of my two positive vote names.

Negative - None. No objectionable names this round.

[KurtCobain]

I didn't vote against anything this round, either. All solid choices to move on.

[Rain Man]

How are Chief Executive Officers and Hominds not drawing wide praise? Those are great names.

[SuperBowl4]

Kansas City GAMECOCKS!
or
Kansas City WARLORDS!

[SuperBowl4]

How are Chief Executive Officers and Hominds not drawing wide praise? Those are great names.not any better than THE PARASYMPATHOMIMETIC'S which has PAT-HOM right in the middle

[Rain Man]

Final Tally. Captains runs away with the Round 2 berth.

Captains -16
Camels -30
Midwesterners -31
Hominids -31
Chief Executive Officers -32