Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 8

[Rain Man]

The rules are:

1. You can vote 'yes' on as many as you like, AND you can vote 'no' on as many as you like. Feel free to run wild.

2. The winner of the heat will be the name that has the highest net score (yes minus no). This will reflect the name that has the most satisfaction and least disapproval. In other words, it will be the least controversial name.

We'll have approximately 16 heats in Round 1, with one winner per heat. The entrants have been selected randomly from the nomination thread.


As background, assume that it's 2024. President Ted Nugent has just distributed holsters to every American household. He is now seeking to build consensus across the parties, so he names Elizabeth Warren as the nation's "sports czar". Elizabeth's first order of business is to eliminate Native American-themed sports names, because there's nothing she hates more than white people making money by appropriating native american culture.

So the Chiefs have no choice but to change names. If they don't, the team will be banned and a new replacement team will be formed in Los Angeles, because if you keep putting teams there, eventually people will start watching them. (That tentative team name is the Los Angeles Trembling Fawns if you're curious.)

In a bit of good news, they're allowing the fans to select the new name, so we're on the clock. Do your best work, people.

[ptlyon]

ROFL Ted Nugent would never select Warren for anything

[Rain Man]

My votes are below.

Positives: Ermines, Emerald Knights

Ermines is, of course, the greatest team name in America that's not in use. If we became the Ermines, we would be legendary. The rest of the NFL would probably fold their tents because 100 percent of the country would become Ermines fans.

Emerald Knights is a great name. It hearkens back to the Emerald City of Oz, which of course ties in with our midwest location. It may confuse some people who can't tell Missouri from Kansas, but those people are confused anyway. I really like the imagery.

Neutral - Beefs, Conestogas. Both names tie to the area's history. Beefs is awesome because we can still sing "Home of the Beeeeeefs". Conestogas are perhaps THE most famous thing about Kansas City, albeit it's probably not thrilling to the native american complainants. I would be fine with both of these, but I'm spending my ammo on the other two names.

Negative - Kangaroos is nicely alliterative, but seems to have little association with Kansas City. We don't have a lot of kangaroos that are native to the region.

[Rain Man]

ROFL Ted Nugent would never select Warren for anything

I think Ted's a consensus builder. He'd recognize the need for alliances across the aisle, particularly with native americans like Elizabeth Warren.

[ThaVirus]

I actually really like the sound of Emerald Knights.

Unfortunately, I'd prefer to keep red in the color scheme so it just doesn't mesh.

[Rain Man]

I actually really like the sound of Emerald Knights.

Unfortunately, I'd prefer to keep red in the color scheme so it just doesn't mesh.

Yeah, that's the main problem with Emerald Knights, and there's not really a workaround for it. But like you, I'm a big fan of the name itself. And independent of the Chiefs, that name with emerald green jerseys would be spectacular.

[ThaVirus]

Yeah, that's the main problem with Emerald Knights, and there's not really a workaround for it. But like you, I'm a big fan of the name itself. And independent of the Chiefs, that name with emerald green jerseys would be spectacular.


It sucks that Ruby Knights just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Though Sapphire Knights sounds pretty cool.

[Chazno]

There are already Kangaroos in KC. https://info.umkc.edu/unews/a-glimpse-inside-kasey-the-kangaroo-umkcs-mascot/

[Rain Man]

There are already Kangaroos in KC. https://info.umkc.edu/unews/a-glimpse-inside-kasey-the-kangaroo-umkcs-mascot/

Wow. I had no idea.

[Rain Man]

It sucks that Ruby Knights just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Though Sapphire Knights sounds pretty cool.

Yeah on both points.

The other thing I like about Emerald is the link to Oz.

I guess Ruby also has a link to Oz, but I don't want to change the name to the Kansas City Ruby Slippers.

[Rain Man]

Final Tally

Ermines -7
Emerald Knights -20
Beefs -24
Kangaroos -27
Conestogas -27

Aw, shucks. You guys are the bestest friends a fellow could have.