Fucking Schwauns man…

[GabyKeepsMeWarm]

Anyone know this outfit? Used to be a big yellow/cream truck, rolled around the neighborhood.

Well, I’m trying to rid my mother’s house of this stuff…

Got into a bag of “roasted veggies”, figured, fuck it man, I’ve got some rice here, some pork…. Let’s cook up some porked fried rice and veggies…

But this damn bag is full of potatoes! It’s cooked up well, but now it’s like I’ve gotta make eggs and breakfast with it. But I guess the rice has to wait?!? This is bullshit.

Life ain’t easy as a white man with options.

[Jewish Rabbi]

Maybe your husband can cook for you

[Rainbarrel]

I think the drivers got hoodwinked into a pyramid scheme. They're dragging stone

[KCUnited]

Does your buddy know you're fucking the Schwauns man?

[Hoopsdoc]

I almost worked for Schwans years ago. Even went with a driver on a route. After that I was like ehhh I don’t think so.

Dude told me it’s a job where you’re dealing with housewives 99 percent of the time. He said if you do it long enough, one will inevitably come on to you because the husbands not around.

Said it happened to him several times.

I didn’t ask if he consummated anything.

[Why Not?]

You wasted a bunch of “I’d like to buy a vowel” $ on this one.

[Bearcat]

And InMem can't post threads?! :cuss:

[LoneWolf]

Fucking FacePlanet.

Pro Tip: You don't have to post every thought you have on CP like some coked up stripper texting her friends at 3 a.m.

[tredadda]

Oh, they are no longer Schwanns anymore. They are now known as Yelloh. Definitely think referring to your driver by the new company name could get a little sketchy.

[wazu]

Fucking FacePlanet.

Pro Tip: You don't have to post every thought you have on CP like some coked up stripper texting her friends at 3 a.m.

I think a coked up stripper posting her 3am texts on CP would be pretty welcome around here.

[Titty Meat]

If it weren't against the rules to tell you I'd love to hit you over the head with a wok, id love to hit you over the head with a wok

[Wisconsin_Chief]

I think a coked up stripper posting her 3am texts on CP would be pretty welcome around here.

Quite frankly, this sounds like a great idea for a weekly CP podcast.

[Rainbarrel]

Woke up to/with a cold bag, wanted pork. Had to beat eggs in disgust. Should be a HOFer

[Hammock Parties]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

[displacedinMN]

Most of it is great food. Ice cream is super.
Miss the 2.5 gallon tins.


But it is a tough haul. They run off text now. I feel bad that I do not order anymore. They have great pot pies.

It used to be a family run, respectable outfit. It was sold and rebranded. Hopefully the quality does not suffer. A larger employer in Marshall, MN

[notorious]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

He immediately tried to upsale you on corn nuggets, didn't he?

[Pasta Little Brioni]

The Schwans man's banging all your wives....

[ptlyon]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

Stay the fuck outta the road

[Hammock Parties]

Stay the fuck outta the road

It was a residential side street next to a church with no sidewalks, relax beavis.

[Balto]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

Running from Pitbulls?

[R Clark]

Out of business

[Hammock Parties]

Running from Pitbulls?

Never run. They are faster than you.

[neech]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

Call Brown & Crouppen, that's easy money they'll make you.

Pro-tip...walk with a limp.

[The Franchise]

Never run. They are faster than you.

Have they not seen your hill video?

[Hammock Parties]

Call Brown & Crouppen, that's easy money they'll make you.

Pro-tip...walk with a limp.

It was at least five years ago and I wasn't hurt. Not interested in destroying the poor schwan man's life.

[loochy]

Fucking FacePlanet.

Pro Tip: You don't have to post every thought you have on CP like some coked up stripper texting her friends at 3 a.m.


I know, rght? CP is for posting well informed legal analysis of criminal cases.


And bitching about referees

[GabyKeepsMeWarm]

Maybe your husband can cook for you

It’s been a day. Wish he could, but he’s been busy, busy fucking your mom with your pop lighting fireworks while attempting to engage, but those 80’s camcorders make it a tough sell. Not sure where you’ve been, but it’s getting hot up in here…

[GabyKeepsMeWarm]

Does your buddy know you're fucking the Schwauns man?

He doesn’t. Can we keep this a secret just between you and me?

[Buehler445]

Mom used to be on a route. I don't think they run routes out here anymore. Someone once told me you could order something off a website and get it delivered, but hell if I know.

I'll be damned if I don't miss the shit though. The icecream was really friggin good and the food, while some of it was hit or miss, the stuff that was good was really good and most of it I wasn't able to get a reasonable facsimile anywhere.

That was a long time ago though and it may all be different these days.

[LoneWolf]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

Was the truck being driven by a Pit Bull?

[Titty Meat]

You ride da whip I ride da dick

[Kman34]

I once got hit by a Schwan's truck jogging. Poor bastard stopped and ran out thinking he had killed me.

Fail thread material…

[BryanBusby]

Call Brown & Crouppen, that's easy money they'll make you.

Pro-tip...walk with a limp.

Walking with a lisp is a guaranteed settlement.

[Demonpenz]

It is now known as yelloh

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

I almost worked for Schwans years ago. Even went with a driver on a route. After that I was like ehhh I don’t think so.

Dude told me it’s a job where you’re dealing with housewives 99 percent of the time. He said if you do it long enough, one will inevitably come on to you because the husbands not around.

Said it happened to him several times.

I didn’t ask if he consummated anything.

Close 'em and hose 'em...

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

kind of like Instacart, before Instacart...

[DJay23]

One summer when I was a kid, my mom and sister and I were painting the trim on the front of the house. The Schwann's man stopped and my mom got off the ladder to talk to him about her order. I pretended to flick my paintbrush at him as a joke. Paint actually came off and hit him in the back of the head. My sister and I almost fell off our ladders laughing. Then he rubbed the back of his head with his hand, smearing it in his hair.

That's my Schwann's story.

[RockChalk]

I almost worked for Schwans years ago. Even went with a driver on a route. After that I was like ehhh I don’t think so.

Dude told me it’s a job where you’re dealing with housewives 99 percent of the time. He said if you do it long enough, one will inevitably come on to you because the husbands not around.

Said it happened to him several times.

I didn’t ask if he consummated anything.

I also watch porn