Cannibalism - pro or anti? [Archive]

Rain Man

11-22-2002, 07:07 PM

I'm working late tonight, so I thought I'd reprise my only post that was ever banned back on the old KC Star BB. It was deleted before I could get a proper vote.

Here's the scenario: You're trapped in a wagon train/plane crash/Milwaukee apartment with no sources of food whatsoever. However, a few dead fellow pioneers/soccer players/bar patrons are lying about, with expiration dates that are still good.

Assume that you have a 33 percent chance of surviving until the St. Bernards arrive if you DON'T barbecue the ol' gang, and a 66 percent of surviving if you partake of Sapiens stew.

What's your choice?

Hydrae

11-22-2002, 07:29 PM

For survival only, yes. But I would certainly hope I had a way to cook the meat first, don't think I could do it otherwise (as if I could do it to begin with).

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 07:29 PM

I wouldn't eat another human, but if I'm in a situation where it'd have to be done to survive..........it'll turn into a Donner "Dinner" Party

JimNasium

11-22-2002, 08:32 PM

Originally posted by Slayer Diablo
I wouldn't eat another human

You will never be able to make a woman happy until you get this idea out or your head.:shake:

KCWolfman

11-22-2002, 08:34 PM

Trapped in the wilderness and no food?

First one who sleeps, loses.

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:37 PM

Originally posted by JimNasium

You will never be able to make a woman happy until you get this idea out or your head.:shake:

I said eat the human itself.....nothing about not eating out women....

Rain Man

11-22-2002, 08:38 PM

Originally posted by KCWolfman
Trapped in the wilderness and no food?

First one who sleeps, loses.

:LOL:

Zebedee DuBois

11-22-2002, 08:38 PM

EAT ME !

Frazod

11-22-2002, 08:41 PM

Originally posted by KCWolfman
Trapped in the wilderness and no food?

First one who sleeps, loses.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Although I'd likely start with whoever I like THE LEAST. :evil:

Rain Man

11-22-2002, 08:42 PM

Originally posted by frazod

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Although I'd likely start with whoever I like THE LEAST. :evil:

Like as in flavor, or like as in personality?

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:43 PM

Originally posted by frazod

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Although I'd likely start with whoever I like THE LEAST. :evil:

With your avatars, I would've guessed you'd say whoever's the slowest runner.....

KCWolfman

11-22-2002, 08:43 PM

Although I'd likely start with whoever I like THE LEAST Assistance to initiate the deep R.E.M. process is definitely an option.

Zebedee DuBois

11-22-2002, 08:46 PM

Soccor player might be kind of tough and stringy. Probably best to use him in a stew.

The Milwaukee people, if beer fed, may be quite rich like Kobe steaks. However, if they had filled their bodies with unnatural supplements and hormones, I might put them lower on the list.

A meat and potatoes cornfed midwesterner stranded in the mountains would probably be good.

You know, I just don't like going hungry.

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:48 PM

Boil 'em like a rabbit! I wonder if the fat comes off with the skin like on rabbits........

Zebedee DuBois

11-22-2002, 08:49 PM

Originally posted by Slayer Diablo
Boil 'em like a rabbit! I wonder if the fat comes off with the skin like on rabbits........

You really shouldn't joke about such a serious subject, Slayer.

Frazod

11-22-2002, 08:50 PM

Originally posted by Slayer Diablo

With your avatars, I would've guessed you'd say whoever's the slowest runner.....

I'd be armed... and I'm an expert shot... running would NOT be a issue.

:evil:

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:52 PM

Originally posted by Zebedee DuBois

You really shouldn't joke about such a serious subject, Slayer.

So you weren't joking about your cannibalism?

---Slayer Diablo
doesn't think he wants to meet Zebedee any time soon.....

BigOlChiefsfan

11-22-2002, 08:54 PM

Did you hear about the cannibal who didn't like his mother in law?

So he only ate the slaw and french fries.

Same cannibal, later that week: Say, this is good. Who is it?

Last but not Least: Cannibal broncofan! (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/MEATpacker.html)

Zebedee DuBois

11-22-2002, 08:55 PM

Originally posted by Slayer Diablo

---Slayer Diablo
doesn't think he wants to meet Zebedee any time soon.....

At least not when I'm hungry.

There probably ain't much meat on you, but I bet you are well marbled.

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:55 PM

Originally posted by frazod

I'd be armed... and I'm an expert shot... running would NOT be a issue.

:evil:

Ahh, so this would be like: "SIT DOWN!!! ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WILL BE SHOT RIGHT NOW!!" *Bang* "What was that for, Fraz?" "For dinner....you all shall eat with me so that none of you get too skinny, but don't worry....you will all be shot in time. I can't let my meat go rotten, now can I?"

Zebedee DuBois

11-22-2002, 08:56 PM

Did you hear about the cannibal that ate his brother?

When asked if he had seen his brother lately, he replied, " I just passed him in the woods."

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:57 PM

Originally posted by Zebedee DuBois

At least not when I'm hungry.

There probably ain't much meat on you, but I bet you are well marbled.

Nope...skinny. Barely any fat or meat.

Frazod

11-22-2002, 08:57 PM

My favorite cannibal joke:

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny!

:evil:

Slayer Diablo

11-22-2002, 08:59 PM

Child Cannibal: Mom, can I eat the batter?

Mother Cannibal: Only if he gets 3 strikes.

Rain Man

11-23-2002, 12:36 PM

Hey! If we end up trapped on a mountainside somewhere, this discussion won't seem so petty, now will it?

Phobia

11-23-2002, 04:55 PM

I moved this hoping the perception would be that it had been deleted.

Rain Man

11-23-2002, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by pHoBiA
I moved this hoping the perception would be that it had been deleted.

ROFL

(Too bad you're having to explain the joke, though.)

Slayer Diablo

11-23-2002, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by pHoBiA
I moved this hoping the perception would be that it had been deleted.

It would've worked if I didn't notice that I was the last poster on "Petty Board Disputes"....

Phobia

11-23-2002, 04:59 PM

Originally posted by Kevin
ROFL

(Too bad you're having to explain the joke, though.)

Shoulda just deleted it, but I wouldn't want a rogue Chiefs board to spring up....

Hydrae

11-23-2002, 05:14 PM

Originally posted by BigOlChiefsfan
Cannibal broncofan! (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/MEATpacker.html)

This is just wrong:

"In 1874, Packer polished off five fellow prospectors in a mid-winter munchy fit."

Rausch

11-23-2002, 05:16 PM

If I hadn't pulled a Madonna' and got a more "Now" image I believe my stance would be obvious.

11-23-2002, 06:13 PM

Kevin, I remember that original thread cause it ended up getting me kicked off and I had to change my user name. It was a really funny topic.

Ebolapox

11-23-2002, 06:20 PM

eating of other human beings is ok, as long as they're married :D

-EBOLA- j/k, 'gurl ;)

Rain Man

11-23-2002, 06:37 PM

Originally posted by rjintx
Kevin, I remember that original thread cause it ended up getting me kicked off and I had to change my user name. It was a really funny topic.

:D So I take it you're a "yes?"

What was your original name?

11-23-2002, 06:49 PM

I always used rjintx. Had to go to rjintx2, then rjintx3 after a conversation with Joe Seahawk wherein we for some reason began using Spanish words neither of us knew the correct meanings of and the overseeers decided it was profanity, though my significant other of Mexican descent said that what had been written translated loosely into eating ham sandwiches on a beach. Whatever it was, me & Joe both got the heave-ho by some bb nazi.

PACHIEFSFAN

11-23-2002, 06:55 PM

I just checked with my lawyer. I plead the 5th. (by the way, thigh steaks are the best part)!!!

Rain Man

11-23-2002, 07:18 PM

Originally posted by rjintx
I always used rjintx. Had to go to rjintx2, then rjintx3 after a conversation with Joe Seahawk wherein we for some reason began using Spanish words neither of us knew the correct meanings of and the overseeers decided it was profanity, though my significant other of Mexican descent said that what had been written translated loosely into eating ham sandwiches on a beach. Whatever it was, me & Joe both got the heave-ho by some bb nazi.

Hey, I remember that scandal! Didn't you use your real name for a while - last name is a middle eastern country?

Rain Man

11-23-2002, 08:33 PM

I'm surprised at how many people are not answering 'yes' or 'no.' While you guys are hesitating, some of us are going to sneak in and get the drumsticks.

PastorMikH

11-23-2002, 08:43 PM

Wouldn't have to resort to eating a person in those scenarios.

Aways have my trusty Leatherman Redneck Tool on me. With it, I could walk up to a farmer's cow, slice it's throat and enjoy several nice meals. In town, if there are than many people lying around, soemthing tragic must have happened and not many people would be around. I can use my leatherman to pick a lock to a grocery store, take some food (leave money at the cash register of course) and eat to my heart's content.

About the only scenario that would trouble me would be in a lifeboat in the ocean. But after reflection, I would put a little slice in one of my left fingers, hold it over the boat and chum for sharks. When one came in, I would slice of some fin and start shewing (The chinese say it is a delicacy).

(Just think of what McGiver could have done if they had leathermans while his TV show was running)

I believe Hank said it best, "A country boy can survive"

:D

PastorMikH

11-23-2002, 08:50 PM

Originally posted by frazod

I'd be armed... and I'm an expert shot... running would NOT be a issue.

:evil:

Interesting. I wonder how you'd fair with Prarie Dogs? Picture shooting a soda can at 400 yards and you just about have it.

Get plenty of practice all summer. After getting on an animal lover site and asking how much people pay for them as pets, my dad and I figured we killed about $45,000 worth of dogs in one day.

11-23-2002, 11:32 PM

A fine memory, Kevin.

I'm trying to remember if the cannibal thread was the same one that slipped into a necrophilia thing. I think it was Dan T who posted something about a necrphiliac's consternation when driving through a red light district and seeing the flashing signs proclaiming "live girls, live girls". I might be fuzzy on the details but do recall laughing my a** off when reading that.

KCChiefsMan

02-14-2003, 12:54 PM

anybody remember that case back in 1983 or 1984 where something like this happened? they were stranded at sea for like 7 days and they all voted to eat the kid and they did, then when they were rescued they all went to jail for murder?

KC Kings

02-14-2003, 01:03 PM

It depends. I would eat them, but I think extreme cannibalistic eating habits should follow the same rule as all other food.

I do not eat lamb fries, because no matter how they are cooked or how good they taste, they are balls. I also do not eat chitterlines, tripe, etc.........

So, I would take the 66% and eat the person, until all parts other than balls, asses, and intestines were left. I would then take the 33% chance. 1 out of 3 is too good of chances for me to pass up by eating hairy man balls.

KC Kings

02-14-2003, 01:04 PM

Originally posted by KCChiefsMan
anybody remember that case back in 1983 or 1984 where something like this happened? they were stranded at sea for like 7 days and they all voted to eat the kid and they did, then when they were rescued they all went to jail for murder?

Yeah, I remember see that! It was that kid on the playground, and he hit is head so they sued him, then they ate him......... oh nevermind, that was Kramer vs. Kramer.

Boozer

02-14-2003, 02:04 PM

Pubie chip?

Rain Man

02-14-2003, 02:06 PM

Originally posted by KCChiefsMan
anybody remember that case back in 1983 or 1984 where something like this happened? they were stranded at sea for like 7 days and they all voted to eat the kid and they did, then when they were rescued they all went to jail for murder?

Seven days, and they killed and ate somebody? I'd hate to be in front of them in a long line at Disneyland.

scooter

02-14-2003, 02:33 PM

6: How we feeling, Captain?
C: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
2: We can't hold out much longer.
C: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gammy leg and I'm going fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me.
?: Eat you, sir?
C: Yes. Eat me.
?: Iiuuhh! With a gammy leg?
C: You didn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
5: It's not just the leg, sir.
C: What do you mean?
5: Well, sir...it's just that -
C: Why don't you want to eat me?
5: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir!
?: So would I, sir.
C: I see.
?: Then that's decided...everyone's gonna eat me!
?: Uh, well.
5: What, sir?
?: Go ahead, please, but I won't -
?: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; tuck in!
1: No, no, it's not that.
?: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
1: Well, he's not kosher.
5: That depends how we kill him, sir.
1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
?: Oh well, all right.
5: I still prefer Johnson.
C: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
1: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.

Go_Bo_Go

02-14-2003, 02:45 PM

one observation...

for a group that professes to despise lawyers, "isn't it strange" (mocking a recent thread) that such a high percentage vote based on the "advice" of their lawyer?

;) :LOL: :rolleyes: :p :)

Pennywise

02-14-2003, 03:07 PM

Supposedly we taste “sweet” and our meat is stringy. Enough cayenne and no one will know the difference anyway.

Reminds me of that movie “Alive” where that dude is gnawing on fingers. Which could be served as appetizers, much like hot wings.

Just think about how much meat is on the human body. Quarter up a medium size person and you have enough grub for awhile.

I bet Emeril could do some crazy shit with some calf muscles and a few biceps.