gblowfish
09-27-2004, 11:01 AM
Here's the advance copy of the Weekly Doggity Report, which will be posted this evening on my Chiefs page. Find this one and all the previous Doggity reports on my website under "Chiefs Page" at http://www.georgeblowfish.com.
The Doggity Chiefs Report
Week 3 - 2004
Texans vs Texans, The Head, Kansas City, MO
From in front of the little TV in the kid’s room. So, two years in a row the old Texans play the new Texans in week three. And next week will make the second straight year KC draws Baltimore in week four. Go figure. As always, you can find the Doggity Reports from this and previous years at www.georgeblowfish.com! And visit “Radio Blowfish”- The “family values” radio station – if your family is named “Addams”! If you know others who might want to get this report in the ‘junk’ folder of their e-mail inbox – send me their addresses so we can add them to the list of people who have nothing better to do than read the Doggity Report each week. Remember our privacy policy - “We won’t sell your email address to anyone who wants you to buy a pirated copy of Microsoft Office for $20.”
Overview – Call me gullible. I believed Ricky Paulding would be good for Big-12 basketball. I was convinced Justin Smith and Darren Sproles had a legit shot at a Heisman. I just knew the Royals would win the AL Central this year. Heck, I believed there actually were stockpiles of WMD! So you can see how I was so easily manipulated into thinking the Chiefs might actually have a shot at a Super Bowl. I know there are still 13 games left. And the Chiefs are guaranteed not to lose three more weeks in a row. (They have the “bye” in two weeks). This game against the expansion Texans was the easy win in the first half of the season. Now the Chiefs go into Baltimore and then into Jacksonville. I don’t know if you have noticed but those two teams are a combined 5-1 and each of the Ravens’ two wins have been by more than two touchdowns. If we can borrow Mr. Peabody’s “Way Back” machine for a moment – the last time KC was 0-3 and lost its first two home games, a young Marv Levy was the head coach and Steve Fuller started his first season handing off to Ted McKnight. Hey, at least that team had receivers! We could use Henry Marshall, J.T. Smith and Carlos Carson again. In case you were wondering, that team 24 seasons ago finished 8-8 and missed the playoffs. The Dog is religious about not blaming the zebras for a loss – and I can’t here either. That said, I admit I had no idea holding penalties were being marked off thirteen yards this year! And if Green was “in the grasp” when they blew that play dead as he was breaking a tackle, then what was Jake Delhomme last week when Monty Beisel was swinging him in circles? Yet they let Delhomme shot-put the ball into the end zone for a score. But the worst was the “roughing” call on Scott Fujita who shoved Carr as he released a throw-away to prevent a sack. I guess the NFL has become a flag-football league. On the plus-side, the late Joe Delaney finally received his long past due enshrinement in the ring at Arrowhead. Delaney was the AFC rookie of the year in 1981 and may have had the franchise rushing record Priest broke yesterday had he lived long enough. Of course, that all tragically ended in June of 1983 when he drowned trying to save three kids in Monroe, Louisiana. Since the mid-1980s, I could not understand how Mack Lee Hill was in the ring but not Joe Delaney. Of course Hill deserved to be there, but so did Joe.
Offense – The sickening part of this debacle is the fact that the offense looked as crisp as it has all season. The O was a couple of dumb penalties; a couple of stupid coaching decisions and that one really, really, really bad throw by Tr-INT Green in the end zone away from a blowout. The Chiefs dominated the time of possession, total yards, rushing yards, first downs, third down conversions, offensive scoring – in fact, nearly every meaningful stat except the one that matters - the scoreboard. Just like OJ, we need to focus on “the real killers”. One doozie was the failure to put sure points on the board in the second quarter when they went for it on fourth and 2. Even if they had gotten the first down, it would have been nullified because on that play, Gonzo got a motion penalty that was declined. Then that pick. Oy, oy, oy. Leading by eight, eating the clock on the ground with a ten-play 9:44 drive -- and one yard away from going up by 15, Green threw a duck right at Marcus Coleman. You have three stinking feet to go and the best touchdown machine in NFL history behind you – hand the ball to Priest and get out of his way! For what it’s worth, Priest Holmes didn’t give up on the play. He chased Coleman down and nearly stopped him from getting in for the TD. Everyone else was standing around watching – Holmes, despite nursing two leg injuries that nearly kept him out of the game, was not about to quit. That’s the sort of thing that gets you a bronze statue in Canton, Ohio. The things ruining this offense this year are things they excelled at last season. They were best in the league at scoring in the red zone last year, and are next to last now. They were the least penalized team over the past two seasons; they are among the league’s worst now. They were good at third down conversions in 2003, but bad in 2004. Other offensive notables, Tony G went over a century with a TD, Johnnie Morton suddenly appeared out of nowhere and got 55 yards and young Chris Horn had a couple of good catches including a score.
Defense – The defense put together its best show of the year. Domanick Davis is a good running back – leading all rookies last season with 1,300 yards from scrimmage. The Chiefs held him to 12 yards before he left the game with an ankle sprain. KC’s maligned run defense gave up only 76 yards – and 26 of those were by David Carr running for his life. Guys who are paid to run only tallied 50 yards on 21 attempts, or a measly 2.3 yard average. Here’s an interesting factoid – Kansas City’s defense leads the league in “negative yardage plays” – in other words, stopping plays for a loss. Go figure. The front four got a pretty good push and the linebackers didn’t over pursue plays like the past two games. Rookie Jared “Subway” Allen had another solid start, notching three hurries and a key third-down sack. Oh! Dexter! had another rough outing, as did Julian Battle. However, the cornerback formerly known as Toasty Warfield inked another good game to his resume. Warfield picked off a pass in the end zone on the first Texans’ drive and was wearing Andre Johnson’s jersey on the unbelievable Sports Center highlight catch in the fourth quarter. In fact, had Jerome Woods not come flying over to “help”, Warfield might have wound up with the ball instead of Johnson. Holding the opponent to 17 offensive points is all you can ask for out of this unit. Coming into this year, I felt if the D could be about this good, and the O just tread water, this was a Super Bowl team. Like I said before – I’m gullible.
Special Teams – After two outstanding games, punter Steve Cheek injured himself in practice this week and got cut. His replacement was the guy he ousted, Jason Baker. Baker was respectable, even dropping one punt in to the waiting arms of Benny Sapp on the 2 yard line. Dante Hall showed that he can make a difference in a game even without scoring. Hall logged for returns foe 117 yards, including one for 45 that set up a Chiefs TD drive. That real estate means just as much as receiving yards in the grand scheme. Combine Dante’s returns, catches and runs and he had 12 touches for 171 yards. Pretty nice afternoon’s work.
The AFC West –
KC Griefs – Why do I suddenly hear Don Meredith howling an old Willie Nelson song?
Denver Donkeys – A win is a win, especially in the division. It’s something KC would love to have. Still, it was very unimpressive at home against a bad San Diego team. The Quentin Griffin – what a back, eh? Twelve carries for 7 yards and a fumble – against one of the worst defenses in the league.
East Bay Convicts – Where did this offense come from? After Gannon was hurt, the plodding Kerry Collins – who has the dorkiest mug in sports – came in and started slinging passes and woke up the old bikers at the Hole.
San Diego Bolts – Marty would save a lot of costs if he would just forfeit games scheduled in Denver. He had to know with Elway getting his ring at halftime, this would not be his day.
Throw Him A Bone Award –
The bone this week goes again to Priest Holmes. A guy who looked like he would have to sit this one out, busted 134 yards with the ball and another hundred yard dash trying to save a touchdown that went the other way. In the third quarter, Holmes surpassed Christian Okoye as the Chiefs franchise’s all-time leading rusher. And he did it in 30 fewer games than the Nigerian Nightmare. To put it in perspective, Priest has only been a Chief for a bit over three years. Marcus Allen played in KC for five seasons in the run-happy days of Marty ball. Marcus posted just under 3700 yards. Priest has over 1000 more yards than Marcus in two fewer seasons. Priest is the consummate professional. If everybody on this team played with Holmes’ heart, they would go undefeated.
The Doggity Dog –
Dick Vermeil had a bad week and will spend the next one on the chain in the back yard. His rationale for failing to take the points in the second quarter on fourth down was bush league. You should make decisions based upon what gives your team the best chance to win. Grown men, paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and who put up the second best record in football last season shouldn’t need this level of hand-holding. Combine poor game-day decisions with the stupid “diaper” comment about running back Larry Johnson, and it gets Dick this week’s dog.
Tailgate Recipe of the Week -
This week, in honor of the Houston game, and his rousing sermon on Sunday, we pay homage to Pasadena Texas native son, Reverend Dr. Bob with his award winning chili recipe – bring friends, this makes a ton!:
Bobcat's Texas Best Chili
Brown in large pan until completely done:
6-7 lbs ground beef (ground round and/or ground chuck)
Brown in large pan until completely limp:
3 large onions
3 cloves of garlic (at least three -- add more to suit taste)
(Or you can use 2 Tablespoons of garlic powder, if you can't find good fresh garlic)
1 large green pepper
1 large yellow pepper
1 large red pepper
Combine in large sauce pot:
6 Large cans (29+ oz.) -- plum Italian tomatoes
3 Large can (29+ oz.) -- crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce
9 Tablespoons of chili powder (or more to suit taste)
9 Tablespoons of ground cumin (or more to suit taste)
4 teaspoons of paprika
4 teaspoons of oregano
1 cups of Worcester sauce (or more to suit taste)
Add, if you're not a purist and like beans in your chili:
5 cans (20 oz.) Ranch Style beans (with sauce)
3 cans (20 oz.) Pinto beans-- washed/rinsed of all sauce
Combine all ingredients in large pot and simmer for 2 hours. Serve with hot flour tortillas or with chips. (Serves 60-75, or 6 Texans, depending on their appetites)
* Recipe was the 1st Place Prize Winner in the 1999 Community Christian Church Chili Olympiad
Next week –
Out to Camden Yards to play the REAL Browns on MNF!
Your faithful scribe,
Mr. Doggity
The Doggity Chiefs Report
Week 3 - 2004
Texans vs Texans, The Head, Kansas City, MO
From in front of the little TV in the kid’s room. So, two years in a row the old Texans play the new Texans in week three. And next week will make the second straight year KC draws Baltimore in week four. Go figure. As always, you can find the Doggity Reports from this and previous years at www.georgeblowfish.com! And visit “Radio Blowfish”- The “family values” radio station – if your family is named “Addams”! If you know others who might want to get this report in the ‘junk’ folder of their e-mail inbox – send me their addresses so we can add them to the list of people who have nothing better to do than read the Doggity Report each week. Remember our privacy policy - “We won’t sell your email address to anyone who wants you to buy a pirated copy of Microsoft Office for $20.”
Overview – Call me gullible. I believed Ricky Paulding would be good for Big-12 basketball. I was convinced Justin Smith and Darren Sproles had a legit shot at a Heisman. I just knew the Royals would win the AL Central this year. Heck, I believed there actually were stockpiles of WMD! So you can see how I was so easily manipulated into thinking the Chiefs might actually have a shot at a Super Bowl. I know there are still 13 games left. And the Chiefs are guaranteed not to lose three more weeks in a row. (They have the “bye” in two weeks). This game against the expansion Texans was the easy win in the first half of the season. Now the Chiefs go into Baltimore and then into Jacksonville. I don’t know if you have noticed but those two teams are a combined 5-1 and each of the Ravens’ two wins have been by more than two touchdowns. If we can borrow Mr. Peabody’s “Way Back” machine for a moment – the last time KC was 0-3 and lost its first two home games, a young Marv Levy was the head coach and Steve Fuller started his first season handing off to Ted McKnight. Hey, at least that team had receivers! We could use Henry Marshall, J.T. Smith and Carlos Carson again. In case you were wondering, that team 24 seasons ago finished 8-8 and missed the playoffs. The Dog is religious about not blaming the zebras for a loss – and I can’t here either. That said, I admit I had no idea holding penalties were being marked off thirteen yards this year! And if Green was “in the grasp” when they blew that play dead as he was breaking a tackle, then what was Jake Delhomme last week when Monty Beisel was swinging him in circles? Yet they let Delhomme shot-put the ball into the end zone for a score. But the worst was the “roughing” call on Scott Fujita who shoved Carr as he released a throw-away to prevent a sack. I guess the NFL has become a flag-football league. On the plus-side, the late Joe Delaney finally received his long past due enshrinement in the ring at Arrowhead. Delaney was the AFC rookie of the year in 1981 and may have had the franchise rushing record Priest broke yesterday had he lived long enough. Of course, that all tragically ended in June of 1983 when he drowned trying to save three kids in Monroe, Louisiana. Since the mid-1980s, I could not understand how Mack Lee Hill was in the ring but not Joe Delaney. Of course Hill deserved to be there, but so did Joe.
Offense – The sickening part of this debacle is the fact that the offense looked as crisp as it has all season. The O was a couple of dumb penalties; a couple of stupid coaching decisions and that one really, really, really bad throw by Tr-INT Green in the end zone away from a blowout. The Chiefs dominated the time of possession, total yards, rushing yards, first downs, third down conversions, offensive scoring – in fact, nearly every meaningful stat except the one that matters - the scoreboard. Just like OJ, we need to focus on “the real killers”. One doozie was the failure to put sure points on the board in the second quarter when they went for it on fourth and 2. Even if they had gotten the first down, it would have been nullified because on that play, Gonzo got a motion penalty that was declined. Then that pick. Oy, oy, oy. Leading by eight, eating the clock on the ground with a ten-play 9:44 drive -- and one yard away from going up by 15, Green threw a duck right at Marcus Coleman. You have three stinking feet to go and the best touchdown machine in NFL history behind you – hand the ball to Priest and get out of his way! For what it’s worth, Priest Holmes didn’t give up on the play. He chased Coleman down and nearly stopped him from getting in for the TD. Everyone else was standing around watching – Holmes, despite nursing two leg injuries that nearly kept him out of the game, was not about to quit. That’s the sort of thing that gets you a bronze statue in Canton, Ohio. The things ruining this offense this year are things they excelled at last season. They were best in the league at scoring in the red zone last year, and are next to last now. They were the least penalized team over the past two seasons; they are among the league’s worst now. They were good at third down conversions in 2003, but bad in 2004. Other offensive notables, Tony G went over a century with a TD, Johnnie Morton suddenly appeared out of nowhere and got 55 yards and young Chris Horn had a couple of good catches including a score.
Defense – The defense put together its best show of the year. Domanick Davis is a good running back – leading all rookies last season with 1,300 yards from scrimmage. The Chiefs held him to 12 yards before he left the game with an ankle sprain. KC’s maligned run defense gave up only 76 yards – and 26 of those were by David Carr running for his life. Guys who are paid to run only tallied 50 yards on 21 attempts, or a measly 2.3 yard average. Here’s an interesting factoid – Kansas City’s defense leads the league in “negative yardage plays” – in other words, stopping plays for a loss. Go figure. The front four got a pretty good push and the linebackers didn’t over pursue plays like the past two games. Rookie Jared “Subway” Allen had another solid start, notching three hurries and a key third-down sack. Oh! Dexter! had another rough outing, as did Julian Battle. However, the cornerback formerly known as Toasty Warfield inked another good game to his resume. Warfield picked off a pass in the end zone on the first Texans’ drive and was wearing Andre Johnson’s jersey on the unbelievable Sports Center highlight catch in the fourth quarter. In fact, had Jerome Woods not come flying over to “help”, Warfield might have wound up with the ball instead of Johnson. Holding the opponent to 17 offensive points is all you can ask for out of this unit. Coming into this year, I felt if the D could be about this good, and the O just tread water, this was a Super Bowl team. Like I said before – I’m gullible.
Special Teams – After two outstanding games, punter Steve Cheek injured himself in practice this week and got cut. His replacement was the guy he ousted, Jason Baker. Baker was respectable, even dropping one punt in to the waiting arms of Benny Sapp on the 2 yard line. Dante Hall showed that he can make a difference in a game even without scoring. Hall logged for returns foe 117 yards, including one for 45 that set up a Chiefs TD drive. That real estate means just as much as receiving yards in the grand scheme. Combine Dante’s returns, catches and runs and he had 12 touches for 171 yards. Pretty nice afternoon’s work.
The AFC West –
KC Griefs – Why do I suddenly hear Don Meredith howling an old Willie Nelson song?
Denver Donkeys – A win is a win, especially in the division. It’s something KC would love to have. Still, it was very unimpressive at home against a bad San Diego team. The Quentin Griffin – what a back, eh? Twelve carries for 7 yards and a fumble – against one of the worst defenses in the league.
East Bay Convicts – Where did this offense come from? After Gannon was hurt, the plodding Kerry Collins – who has the dorkiest mug in sports – came in and started slinging passes and woke up the old bikers at the Hole.
San Diego Bolts – Marty would save a lot of costs if he would just forfeit games scheduled in Denver. He had to know with Elway getting his ring at halftime, this would not be his day.
Throw Him A Bone Award –
The bone this week goes again to Priest Holmes. A guy who looked like he would have to sit this one out, busted 134 yards with the ball and another hundred yard dash trying to save a touchdown that went the other way. In the third quarter, Holmes surpassed Christian Okoye as the Chiefs franchise’s all-time leading rusher. And he did it in 30 fewer games than the Nigerian Nightmare. To put it in perspective, Priest has only been a Chief for a bit over three years. Marcus Allen played in KC for five seasons in the run-happy days of Marty ball. Marcus posted just under 3700 yards. Priest has over 1000 more yards than Marcus in two fewer seasons. Priest is the consummate professional. If everybody on this team played with Holmes’ heart, they would go undefeated.
The Doggity Dog –
Dick Vermeil had a bad week and will spend the next one on the chain in the back yard. His rationale for failing to take the points in the second quarter on fourth down was bush league. You should make decisions based upon what gives your team the best chance to win. Grown men, paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and who put up the second best record in football last season shouldn’t need this level of hand-holding. Combine poor game-day decisions with the stupid “diaper” comment about running back Larry Johnson, and it gets Dick this week’s dog.
Tailgate Recipe of the Week -
This week, in honor of the Houston game, and his rousing sermon on Sunday, we pay homage to Pasadena Texas native son, Reverend Dr. Bob with his award winning chili recipe – bring friends, this makes a ton!:
Bobcat's Texas Best Chili
Brown in large pan until completely done:
6-7 lbs ground beef (ground round and/or ground chuck)
Brown in large pan until completely limp:
3 large onions
3 cloves of garlic (at least three -- add more to suit taste)
(Or you can use 2 Tablespoons of garlic powder, if you can't find good fresh garlic)
1 large green pepper
1 large yellow pepper
1 large red pepper
Combine in large sauce pot:
6 Large cans (29+ oz.) -- plum Italian tomatoes
3 Large can (29+ oz.) -- crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce
9 Tablespoons of chili powder (or more to suit taste)
9 Tablespoons of ground cumin (or more to suit taste)
4 teaspoons of paprika
4 teaspoons of oregano
1 cups of Worcester sauce (or more to suit taste)
Add, if you're not a purist and like beans in your chili:
5 cans (20 oz.) Ranch Style beans (with sauce)
3 cans (20 oz.) Pinto beans-- washed/rinsed of all sauce
Combine all ingredients in large pot and simmer for 2 hours. Serve with hot flour tortillas or with chips. (Serves 60-75, or 6 Texans, depending on their appetites)
* Recipe was the 1st Place Prize Winner in the 1999 Community Christian Church Chili Olympiad
Next week –
Out to Camden Yards to play the REAL Browns on MNF!
Your faithful scribe,
Mr. Doggity