How was the gym today?

:clap:

LET"S FUGGIN GO SLUT PUPPY!!

HE ( I'm) GOOD

She'd go off about a dirty sock on the floor or a fork left in the sink like I'd taken a dump in the middle of the living room. It was insane. SHE WAS INSANE. And of course in the magical month that we dated she saw what my behavior was like - I mean, I'm not a complete ****ing slob or anything, but I'm a normal guy. There's some clutter and stuff on the floor. Not a peep out of her that it was THE WORST THING EVER! It is just not in my nature to be that utterly insincere, for any reason. The bitch should have gone into sales, or politics. She'd give Hillary Clinton a run for her money.

One weekend Chris, my high school friend/Air Force buddy came up to visit. Of course she was in angel mode the whole time, and I hadn't told him what she was really like. Now Chris is about as close as you can get to Wally Cleaver. Polite, respectful, neat, no real vices to speak of. I don't know of anybody who's met him that doesn't like and respect him. So we all pass a pleasant weekend. Right before he leaves, she gives him a big hug and tells him he's welcome anytime, and what a pleasure it was to meet him. The door shuts, and she waits until he's out of earshot, then turns to me and growls "I never want that mother****er in this house again." That was one of the final nails in her coffin. I replied "bitch, he'll be my friend long after your ass is gone, and don't you EVER say another word about him." My eyes must have been glowing red at that point, because she dropped it.

I can feel my blood pressure spiking as I type this. :#

Basically it boils down to the idea that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. She was just so syrupy sweet to people. Maybe there are people out there who are genuinely like that, but it's been my experience that people who act that way are 1000% bent, and they use that facade to fool and manipulate others. Everybody else I've known who acted like her over the intervening decades, whether they were female or male, has ultimately been proven to be a piece of crap. I've seen it in bosses, co-workers, would-be friends. It's one of my biggest red flags.

It's kind of like southern hospitality. Over time it goes from "How y'all doin! Welcome!" to "Y'all ain't from around here, are ya" to "Yankee bastard!"

Gives me flashbacks, too... heh.

I remember relaxing on the couch one night watching sports, quickly ruined by screaming in the kitchen about a towel on the counter that apparently had a little food on it or something... who the **** knows.

When I was buying my first house and preparing to get away from the drama, I worked most of the day on the new house and was pretty damn filthy.... got back to the apartment that we shared, where her and her boyfriend were watching a movie on the couch. Took off my shoes, because not doing so would mean the end of the ****ing world... but, went into the kitchen to wash off a bit, then I hear the shrill scream of horror because my jeans were dirty and probably dragging dirt into the apartment.

I told her to grow the **** up (I'm surprised she never stabbed me after saying that, she hated it so much), she yelled something else and stormed off into her bedroom with her boyfriend just sitting on the couch (he was a nice guy)... he had already seen some of this while they were dating (which never lasted long). I shrugged and halfheartedly apologized. He shrugged, probably a bit surprised it went from nice night on the couch to threat level midnight in all of 15 seconds.

Being that we were just friends with no benefits, luckily the worst of it was over pretty quickly and we went our separate ways after one lease term on the apartment.

I've known a few people who are insanely agreeable to everything you say, except it's always at 30k feet. Oh, I love the Chiefs, too! Stouts are delicious! I've never understood string theory, either!

They're the fakiest of fakers, asking lots of questions and being engaging, but there's nothing under the hood. Easily countered by diving into subjects a bit to figure out if they're full of shit.

I've also worked with a lot of consultants over the years, so they just have a certain salesman vibe to them... overly agreeable and engaging.

In general though, I find you can pretty easily call people on their bullshit without blatantly calling them on their bullshit, simply by asking a lot of questions.

I can't imagine dealing with that crap with no benefits. At least while I was being tortured great sex with a pretty 19-year-old blonde was part of the deal (I was 24). She kind of looked like Jenny Wright with short hair. In hindsight I'm surprised the sex lasted as long as it did; I think that was just part of her control package and she used it right up the end. I assume that if I'd married the bitch it would have been turned off like a spigot.

The funny thing is after me she found a guy to dominate who actually didn't put up a fight. He was part of our circle of friends. Rarely spoke, had no personality, no opinion on anything, and definitely no backbone. She latched onto him like a deer tick. I heard later that they married. I assume that if he stayed in the role of loyal minion it might have worked out for him. Who knows?

One thing about the hair - I don't like short hair on women, and I repeatedly asked her to grow it longer. After we split I heard she did. Probably just to spite me. ****ing ****. LMAO

Does she have any good looking friends?...

Things to help get over a chick

1. Could you ever smell her butt while doing it doggy style?
2. Did you ever go to eat her out and see kaw kaw on her ballon knot?

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO THIS!

SCHO is normally right.... but not this time.

Do not plow her friend.


Plow her mom instead. Then throw a $20 on the dresser and say "worth it" when you walk out.

Plow her dad, too. Then take the $20 back.

I would read your advice column.

But would you actually follow his advice?

It would definitely depend on the dad.