Turkey with cranberry sauce, mashed taters and gravy, green bean casserole for the mains, punkin pie with cool whip for dessert.

I refuse to be limited to 3. I must have turkey, ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, deviled eggs and end it with some pumpkin pie. You know like the pilgrims.

Sprouts scale up - just buy them pre-sliced. Otherwise you'll be doing that all day. But you can make a big ol' mess of those things. Remember to put them cut side UP so that the steam can escape as they cook - keeps 'em crisper on the outside.

As for the meat - cook it at higher heat. Low and slow gives you very little temperature gradient so you can have it at 132 degrees almost heel to heel. But if you cook it at a higher heat, the outside of the rost will be at 145 or so by the time the inside gets to that sweet spot. So then you can have some medium/well stuff AND some medium rare stuff.

I mean I won't do it because my family aren't a bunch of godless heathens that request medium beef. That's just horseshit. But it's how my mom always did it as a kid and we'd lose 1/3 of the roast to mediocrity.

(side note, I would also say that a ribeye roast is a prime rib. What's the distinction? A prime rib is just ribeyes that haven't been sliced yet; I guess maybe they de-boned it first?)

It's a cure for a lot of things on Thanksgiving.


https://i.imgur.com/OdVhLay.jpeg

I look at it as a 5 day feast
1-Tonight Smoking Whole Brisket 13 lbs after trimming and a point (for burnt ends) for consumption on Tuesday
2-Wednesday- Smoked Tri Tip Santa Maria style
3-Thursday smoked Turkey
Friday left overs
Saturday left overs
Sunday fast and call the Nutrisystem crisis hotline

That's a sign that you should start doing the holidays on your own.

I had to read this twice. I was trying to get the joke about booze. ROFL

Nah. I ****ing hate horseradish. I should catch drippings and do jus, but I'm lazy and I just want to get the meat right. I'd have to eat a bullet if I ****ed the meat to get the accoutrements.

Just buy the packet. Add water and boil.

RE: Sprouts
I cook them for 20 minutes on 450 with convection. I can get a couple sheet trays done, 3 if I use the other oven without convection, but the oven is so ****ing busy it just can't be tied up for 40 minutes.

I can process sprouts like a son of a bitch, I guess. Halving them takes me next to no time.

RE: Meat
No. I lopped the heel off for a couple of these jackasses, but it's just not worth it. My job is to optimize the pile of money mom spent on this thing.

Besides, they're over the top. There are like 4 or 5 of them that can have NO pink at all. One time I was grilling burgers for everyone and my jackass brother in law rolled up and was like "Woah man, you're pulling these at 160 (which is higher than I normally do)? I cook everything to 180 to be sure." I think the suggestion was that I should be doing this. While I was temping and pulling burgers I had to google up the table that says at 160 microbes die in 1 ****ing second. He then bumbled about that he didn't want to blah blah blah. And then I harassed him RELENTLESSLY. I was meaner than I should have been. "Look at this mother****er be too good for science." and "Nope USDA has nothing on him." Later he told me he cooked some hamburgers to 160 and they were way better but "I'll never eat anything with pink in it." I mean these asswipes are cooking PORK CHOPS to 170 and thinking they're solving the worlds problems. What they are doing do these poor protein fibers is criminal. This is the environment I'm operating in.

No. They get my best shot at decent food with out getting super wild. If that's not good enough, I'll provide some hot ass coals so their ignorant asses don't have to microwave it. That's the best I have.

RE: Cut
They're different. One year mom bought both and they were remarkably different and cooked much different. The ribeye roast was indeed unsliced ribeye, but the prime rib was much smaller and trimmed differently. I think it was from the back halfish of the ribeye where the spinalis is smaller and the eye is a consistent size, before the eye starts to shrink down. At least that's what she gave me from whatever butcher she bought it from.

I maybe could have trimmed the ribeye roast down to a similar size/shape as the prime rib roast, but I was going to have to cut off some really good shit, so I didn't do it. I just managed the cooks differently.

I agree. I'm alone in the sentiment though.

Meh. If anyone feels compelled I won't stop them. But I don't feel the return is there.

Your level of commitment to the holidays is really coming into question here

Good eye. I didn’t even think about the booze. In all fairness that would work too.

After a fifth, I wouldn’t care about turkey.

You seem like the green bean casserole type.