The Baywatch crew runs onto the stage in slow motion.

The Miami Dolphins select Daylon Mack, DT, Texas A&M.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-...88_468x286.jpg

Pamela Anderson runs in slow motion to bosschief to let him know that he's on the clock.

https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/...f84d481958e67b

Thata boy! What’s the drink of choice?

The Atlanta Falcons select Clayton Thorson, QB, Northwestern

Matt Ryan can’t play forever and this kid has a chance to develop into a starter in this league. Amazing value this late in the draft, too. I’ve seen him as a second or third round prospect on a few sites and he’s a gamer. I’m very interested to see where he goes in the real draft because he’s a guy I think NFL scouts have done homework on and he’s very underrated in the media. You almost never hear his name.

If I knew Thorson would last this long, I’d have probably taken Saunders, Miller or Isabella for Seattle in the third over Finley.

The Panthers select Wyatt Ray, EDGE, Boston College

I almost made the first double pick of the draft then, because someone spelled a name wrong

With pick 157 in the nfl draft the Denver Broncos select Tyree Jackson, QB, Buffalo

Can someone PM the next dude? I’m rushing this am.

Absolute steal this late IMO.

Can't believe some of the value still on the board... Probably a half dozen top-100 players IMO.

Who/where is the misspelling? I'll fix it.

I found 1, it's one of my picks. You have Max Sharping, should be Scharping.

Buffalo selects:

Justin Hollins, Edge - Oregon

A purely situational rusher who may never amount to anything but the Bills need defensive help and help with the rush in particular. He's a nice fit here

Mother****er. LOL. Guy is probably going day 2. Steal. He's one of the guys I was talking about top-100. A team is going to fall in love with his athleticism for a 3-4 OLB and want to mold him.

Bills run a 4-3 but I figured he could do well as a stand-up edge in a nickel package from a 9 tech or just as a regular rush Will in base looks if they're less concerned about the back out of the backfield and want to get after the qb.

He's a solid complementary part with some upside. Likely just a Bruce Irving type but that'll play in the 5th for sure.

Round 6 is up.

Also, it appears that with 5 picks in the 6th round, Rain Man may soon need some more people to move to Cincinnati or at least become vaguely associated with it, or else he'll run out of guest announcers

I'm already out of famous Cincinnatians now that Manson is dead, so Round 6 is going to be all WKRP, all the time.

Did you do Pete Rose? Ernie Isley (an Isley Bros performance after the pick to boot! :D)

It was indeed this one.

I've pondered doing baseball players, though I pretty much only recognize the guys from the Big Red Machine era. I've noticed the Isley Brothers in my searches too, but wasn't sure if I'd be an old fogey for using them (assuming they're still alive).

Maybe next year I'll relax my "must be alive" rule. It would be awesome to have William Howard Taft announcing a pick.

The Houston Texans select Darwin Thompson, RB, Utah State

*could be a nice backup for Lamar Miller.

A hush falls over the crowd. Chicago is a city of greatness in many areas, with many eminent citizens. Who will it be?

"Oh, my gosh," someone yells from the crowd. "It's the Cusacks!"

Striding toward the podium are the famous siblings known for their movie roles and their unconventional attractiveness.

"We're glad to be here tonight," says John, perhaps most famous for his roles in Better Off Dead, Grosse Point Blank, Sixteen Candles, and of course, Hot Tub Time Machine.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/...14,317_AL_.jpg

His sister Joan chimes in, best known for her roles in Broadcast News, the Toy Story series, Married to the Mob, and of course the Toy Story series. "As Chicago-area natives, we're delighted to announce to you the newest Chicago Bear."

https://resizing.flixster.com/6jmcak...A7MTg2ODsxOTc5

In unison, Joan and John speak the name on the card.

The Chicago Bears select Cole Tracy, K, LSU.

The Cusacks stroll to the Philadelphia table and PM Chief Northman that it's his turn.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/87/3e...91b07dd98c.jpg

Chicago recognizes that it's a bit early to take a kicker, but with no sixth round pick, we weren't sure that we would get our man if we waited.

The Philadelphia Eagles select Michael Jackson, CB, Miami

Great value here for the Eagles as Jackson is a smooth mover for a bigger corner. Though he does not boast top end speed, he knows how to press and body receivers to take time and space away. Jackson has a knack for taking the ball away and maxes out his athletic talent in being a savvy, smart defender.

They should nickname this draft "The Glorious Early 90s" because it features both Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson.

I wonder if there's also a player named OJSimpson Trial in this draft

If that's true, then someone should take Baylor CB Derrek Thomas.

The LA Chargers select Marquise Blair, S, Utah.

Chiefs on the clock!

Pick the right player or we're all doooooomed!

Well shit, I like this pick but this poor guy's gonna have a really hard time because of who he isn't. At some point I neglected to update my board and missed the fact that Isaiah Johnson had been selected. Man - I was exciiiiiited to be able to grab that guy. He'd be a defensible 3rd round pick who's not impossible to argue into the 2nd.

But this is a fine prospect and good pick as well.

The Chiefs select: Mark Fields, CB - Clemson

He's a little undersized and that will limit his ceiling in Spags scheme, but he's a damn nice Nickel CB. In time he may be able to come up with some technique development that will allow him to do credible work on the boundary in a pinch.

Ultimately I picked up a slightly faster, more ball-aware version of Steven Nelson in the 5th round. I'd say that's a pretty good use of the pick. He's excellent immediate depth, especially with Fuller's ability to move out wide in the event Ward isn't up to the job or Breeland goes down. He can probably play SCB credibly by mid-season.

Nice job with the pick. We wanted defense, you gave us defense.

NO GOD DAMN IT YOU MORON WE NEED SAFETY HELP

Just kidding. Seriously, this draft looks way better than Veach's 2018 specifically because it's not need-crazy. Going into the draft, we just needed help everywhere on defense, so you stuck to just getting us the best defensive player you could find for us at each of non-1st round spots.

See what happens when you don't get tunnel vision for specific players, Brett? The draft gives you lots of options to come away with truly the best player at the top of your board instead of trading up to grab a guy just because you think he won't be available at your slot later in the round.

We got all that AND a very very good starting C. Our QB will get better protection and a more efficient running attack.

Except DJ would’ve preferred to do just that in the 1st round the way the board was falling, as would I.

If you don’t like Speaks, that’s fine, but this teams had success recently more often than not when being aggressive and trading up for their guys (Mahomes, Hunt, Nnadi). And though I would’ve preferred Bates or Reid, I still think Speaks turns out to be a solid pick.

If Adderley is that close and we don’t make a concerned effort to move up to get him... imo that’s a mistake. I like the idea of a quality center, but I think the last couple years showed us that the drop off from a very good center to his backup isn’t massive. Especially with a very mobile qb.

If we are going offensive player at that spot and Hock gets into the 20s, I wouldn’t be mad if we went up to get him.

The New Orleans Saints select Alize Mack, TE, Notre Dame.

Oh, and DJ's draft sucks. Just had to get that in there.

I think i'd like the Chiefs to take Winovich.

In the 1st?

Probably not, but I wouldn't hate it. He's a damn good athlete with a high motor.

Feels like a great 2nd rounder that could really blow up in the NFL.

I've come around on Zach Allen though too.

Would love it if he were there for them in round 2.

With the 170th pick the LA Rams Select Terry Beckner, Jr. DT, Missouri

PM Sent

I feel so bad for that dude.

Beckner was an absolute monster when he got to Mizzou and two nasty knee injuries have ruined him. He just has no burst left at all.

He had Chris Jones ability coming into college but the knees just didn't recover like some guys do. Damn shame.

He posted this at 6:48 pm on Friday, so I presume he's still out since it's been less than 36 hours.

Drew Carey leaps to the stage.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...-pZ3de2eQiHcYA

The Cleveland Browns select Ben Burr-Kirven, LB, Washington.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was hoping he'd slip into the seventh round.

You don't put one over on Drew Carey.

He sends Lewis and Oswald to Tambaberry's house to inform him that the Giants are up.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Qw5x4BKVLqk/hqdefault.jpg

Thanks. I was here but I’m good with the pick.

Oh. Cool. I'll step down now.

if you want to change i was going to take him with this pick

Nope, I’m good with it.

Oh FFS, Tamba.

Don't make your pick or anything. Just try to plead someone out of 'theirs' and then disappear. Awesome.

Actually, Tamba picked. Bosschief is on the clock.

I apologize for leaping in and disrupting the process. I thought The Franchise was still in jail or wherever.

Oh....well don't I feel like an asshole.

Carry on...

Boss is up no?

Evidently you also posted while I was posting. Carry on...

thanks dick, i made my pick lmao

Lol came in to quote you and post that same exact tweet then saw this.

He’s a much better athlete than people give him credit for.

I’ll say this, I’d rather take him than Allen there.

Yeah, I didn’t know he was that type of athlete

Could he be a cheap mans Bosa?

I like the comparison NFL.com has Markus Golden.

I think he’s a little better, but it’s a pretty good comparison.

[Facepalm]

Or, y'know, Jordan Willis...

this thing has gone to shit.

It's pretty much been shit for a week but oh well. It'll get done by the draft and that's the only real (obviously modest) goal...

He’s not bad though

You know I’d prefer trading whatever for and extending clowney but the bar is closing and I’m not jerking off again so it’s time to start throwing around “I’m a doctor” and grab a fatty

It happens every year around the 5th/6th round.

Weekends start to drag, then things take a bit of time to get ramped up during the week. Peoples' schedules change.

It happens. I'm honestly kind of amazed that 16 people usually manage to pull this thing off every year.

I'm a little concerned about the 6th round. If a real Bengals scout is following this thread, and if they follow my lead, the Bengals will battle Patrick Mahomes II in the AFC Championship Game every year for the next decade or two.

The actual draft has gone to shit by the 5th round. I'd say we're pretty realistic. LOL

With the 175th pick, the Arizona Cardinals select Bryce Love, RB, Stanford

The Cards RBs were pretty bad last year, albeit behind a suspect O-Line that has alot of new bodies this year. That said, had Love not tore his ACL he'd be at least a round 2 pick if not round 1. The guy looked like a 4.3 guy before the ACL and gave me thoughts of Jamal Charles watching him slash and go. It's time for his slide to stop. He's worth every bit of a 6th round pick even if he needs a year to get back to form.

And please remember to PM the next guy. ;)

The Pittsburgh Steelers select Alijah Holder, CB, Stanford


A prospect with great height and ability just needs some refining.

The San Francisco 49ers select Dru Samia, OG, Oklahoma


Could get a little bigger/stronger at the next level, but that's something you can train. He's a nasty interior guy in running game and good value pick in 6th rd for the 2018 Big12 OL of the year.

Cincinnati is stamping our feet in anticipation.

The Jacksonville Jaguars select Ricky Walker, DL, Virgina Tech

The Jags get a TFL monster and great run stopper in Walker. He creates turnovers and has some pass rush upside from the inside as a 3 Tech.

The Arizona Cardinals select Kingsley Keke, DT, Texas A&M

The Cardinals are going back to a 3-4 so they need a 5-tech type that can put some pressure on the QB, which Keke can do.