I'd like to make homemade banana nut muffins and strawberry muffins for breakfast, but we need milk.

Hey Milkman!!!!!

Can you deliver a gallon of 2% by morning?

Joie, you have some splaining to do.

That would be one expensive 2% gallon.

Maybe I'll just go to the grocery store tommorrow.

That sounds like a VERY logical idea.

But I don't wanna.

Order it on the internet. Should only take a week.

I tried to order it over the internet. My Milkman was unreasonable.

Damn Milkman. :cuss:

If he wasn't a figment of my imagination..........

A rancher was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event. The rancher thought to himself: "Great, now I'm gonna have to explain the 'birds and bees' to him. Well, no need to jump the gun. I'll just wait and see if he has any questions, and I'll just answer them as best I can."

After the rancher finished helping the cow with her birthing, he walked over to his son and asked him: "Do you got any questions about what you seen here tonite?" "Just one," the little boy whispered, eyes still wide with wonder. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?"

Several cannibals were recently hired by a big corporation. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees." The cannibals promised. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads negatively.

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat the secretary!"

Does this have anything to do with beryllium?