ChiefsPlanet - Life This sucks at 58

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This sucks at 58 (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=206925)

Monk	04-28-2009 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5724266)

You think its funny now, wait until tomorrow morning.

You'll wake up, stretch and feel your joints pop, your back aching, you'll realise that you're a bout to pee into your PJs so you'll lumber to the bathroom and make water. You'll turn to the sink to think about shaving, you'll force your drooping eyes open with a mighty yawn and it will culminate with a gaze into the mirror and it will hit you....you'll grin for a reason you can't understand and think loudly

ROAR FUTHERMUCKER! I'm a Clam hammer....

and dammit People LIKE ME MORE THAN HER!!"

You'll bounce a little more after your shower, maybe sing a little on the way in for breakfast....you'll see the marker board on your fridge the girls gave you to keep track of things but haven't used yet.....you'll walk over to it, pick up the marker and write

"EXs-Name...its not the pants that make your ass look fat"

Your day is golden, unless you suddenly find yourself in a drunken fog, trying to steal the pocket change out of a shot up pickup truck in Springfield Missouri.

I just sprayed scotch on my keyboard I'm speechless that is up there with the funniest stuff I have ever read

Pioli Zombie

04-28-2009 10:12 PM

Do avoid going to The Levee on saturday nights. A thirty something coworker thought I would like it there
Skank Central.
Posted via Mobile Device

beach tribe

04-28-2009 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monk (Post 5723623)

I normally don't post on here,but damn I need to vent. I have (had) been married to the same woman for over 35 years. Never a major problem in our relationship. Five weeks ago she informs me she wants a divorce as she has met someone and wants something different in her life.

I worked 25 years for Williams Energy, we put two daughters through college and helped them, as we could, get established in life.

So,today was a meeting between the lawyers and I find out I will have to give her the house (paid for ) a car (new) and 1/2 of my pension,savings, and investments. Now all of that was ours 50/50 any way and she did her part in the marriage. Not only does it hurt like hell but now it looks like at 58 I have to start all over again.

Sorry for spelling or grammer but right now I don't care my heart is broken and soon to be homeless (STARTING OVER AT 58 )

If you posted more, you probably could have gotten some good advice from some qualified people about all of this, before you got bent over.

I'm sorry to hear about this man. Guys get annihilated in divorce court.

Monk	04-28-2009 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5724211)

At least you've got Tuesday covered....an all new season of "deadliest catch" and Chiefsplanet.

I hope you take this in the spirit its meant...I composed a new joke just for you.

"What do my ex wife and the deadliest catch have in common?"
"Alot of men are seen wet, beaten, tired and catching crabs this spring"

This maybe your best yet. Classic Definately going on a t-shirt

Iowanian

04-28-2009 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou (Post 5724288)

"bad idea jeans"

LMAO

I think that's a 'Penzism.

I really wish I could share a story from my brother's last night here, when I used that saying in real life...."you assholes really, really have your bad idea jeans on....this is darwin winning waiting to happen"

It was a terrible, terrible idea.....but it was effing awesome.

That led into a late night discussion about branding that. "bad idea jeans".....and then the Tshirt line to go with it. "hold my beer, watch this".....stuff like that.

luv	04-28-2009 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pioli Zombie (Post 5724301)

Do avoid going to The Levee on saturday nights. A thirty something coworker thought I would like it there
Skank Central.
Posted via Mobile Device

Just because you had a bad experience with a 30-something, don't ruin things for the rest of us.

Pioli Zombie

04-28-2009 10:21 PM

Iowanian has been an inspiration tonight. Other things I don't have to say again.

No, I don't think you're crazy

You look great

You're a good mother

Mmmmmm. I love your cooking

Yes Dear

Things I can say now....

You ARE just like your mother

Your sister is a ****

Your brothers are ****ing idiots

Your bosses were all right!

Your ass IS fat and my friends and family DO think your a bitch.

That felt good
Posted via Mobile Device

Mr. Kotter

04-28-2009 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5724263)

:spock:

Yeah, luv....he says you and your type are "shallow"....and, generally speaking, he's right. All you broads seem interested in, is Mr. Johnson at full attention.

OTOH, more "mature" broads...they understand our feelings; they will read Emerson and Thoreau and Angelo with us. And we can rent Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, Thelma and Louise and The Way We Were...all on the same weekend. They even bring the Kleenex, bi-atch. Yo.

So I've been TOLD...

:harumph:

;)

Iowanian

04-28-2009 10:23 PM

Thats therapy right there my brothers.

Monk.

Post a list of shit you hated that you don't have to do anymore. That will be a swim in healing waters right there.

I think its going to be awesome, you know, the next time Monk is on the phone getting an earful, and he's going to out of no-where bust out some ridiculous Chiefsplanet stuff on her and leave her speechless.

"It doesn't matter what I did last saturday, I know you hated Jane, thats why I tapped her in the tooter on top of your grandmother's afgan that you forgot in my pile...."

Then use the "bad idea jeans-30 year old hot girlfriend-mario cart tournament" for the finishing move. "She'll leave the lights on WHILE we're Effing in the afternoon AND she's flexible enough to do this thing called the Reverse cowgirl....if I'd have known what good cooter was the past 20 years, I'd have had you stand on your head in the garage and filled yours with ice and beer"

Monk	04-28-2009 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pioli Zombie (Post 5724318)

Amen Brother

Pioli Zombie

04-28-2009 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5724308)

Just because you had a bad experience with a 30-something, don't ruin things for the rest of us.

That wasn't her fault. That place would be bad at any age.
Posted via Mobile Device

Smed1065

04-28-2009 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5723991)

Not all of us.

To be married for 35 years, nd just blindside someone? Monk, are you sure there were no signs? Or did you just not see them?

I know I will be wrong but not even the womens chance of being wrong?

luv	04-28-2009 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smed1065 (Post 5724336)

I know I will be wrong but not even the womens chance of being wrong?

Keep reading. I wasn't saying it was anything he did. If she's able to meet AND fall for someone else without showing signs, then she's definitely good and cold hearted.

jAZ	04-28-2009 10:29 PM

fuck that.

How dare she even *ask* for more than 1/2 of everything. I just told my wife that if she ever leaves me after 35 years for something different, I'm keeping the house and the car.

Iowanian

04-28-2009 10:31 PM

I prevented this by asking for a wood chipper for a wedding gift from my father in law.

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