ROFL

No matter how many times you ask, I'm not donating sperm.

go for the threesome dude then the choice has been made.

Thats what you think. I'm not swallowing cuz I like it.

That sounds like an overzealous stitcher after an episiotomy.

I had best not ever walk into Super Head and see keg sitting with the girls. Jesus.

Yeah. That's what they all say.

I'll need a translation on that one.

I think I get it, I just don't quite get how he got it from the post he got it from.

Best $100 I ever spent.

ROFL

Did you ever find out how much it would cost to get her jaw wired shut without any broken bones?

Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to ask about that on the open board. Crap, sorry.

The last thing I would want is her jaw wired shut.

Jeezus...what are you thinking?

Oh right, it was getting her voice box removed. My bad.

Silence is golden and you'll still have two other places to "park the car":shrug:

Unless those "places to park the car" have soft brushes that automatically clean the undercarriage of the "car" when it's parked in there, it's not the same.

How have I turned into a garage in this story?

I'm not sure.

But I think I need to go take the truck to a car wash.

Workin at the car wasssssssh

JINX you owe me your wife

Good to know I still do some things right

Not so much a garage as a sperm repository. Complete with an after hours drop-box.

Hope it's open.

Super Head is a bar in the Phillipines. Katipan said keg would make a great Phillipino. 2 + 2 = ? Anyone? (I guarantee most military folk have heard of Super Head and Mega Head. Heh)

This made me giggle.

Ahh, I get it now. A google search led me to a hooker.

I thought it was a bathroom and the girls were me and Jilly.

sigh...

our one flaw is that we think most everything is about us....

That's only a flaw in other people's opinion..

SHHH.

Everyone is watching.

I hope so

So you think I'd be sitting in a ladies bathroom chatting it up with you two like it's the vagina monologues?!

I believe I've been thoroughly emasculated.

I guess it's safe to post the other girl's picture since she's spooning with the Almighty now.

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9475/000h052jlbz.jpg

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/5821/0006052jlbz.jpg

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/7996/000s052jlbz.jpg

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/4985/000b052jlbz.jpg

ha.

Nothing better than a skank with a cheap tattoo on her hooters.

Not hot enough for you?

Not even close. But I'm probably not what she would want either.

You could do worse. Trust me, I know.

Most definitely.

We're pretty manly as far as chicks go.

I'm with you on this one. She's got biker chick written all over her.

Keg is in the friend zone even on a message board.

Well, you were talking about hairy chests. Moustaches, too?

keg's mission in life is to keep himself in the friend zone.

That sounds like a heavy masturbation and porn filled mission.

You don't say.

Friends can have benefits.

No but we pee standing up

a man of the net so suave and discreet
he trips over the kleenex piled up by his feet

facing porn every day is a tough job for any man
but he's got a great brand of lube and he's got an expert hand

internet porn is the game and he holds every card
cus if you wanna win, ya gotta jerk hard

I posted this on the media center last night, but it fits the discussion:

<embed src='http://videomedia.ign.com/ev/ev.swf' flashvars='object_ID=14223564&downloadURL=http://moviesmovies.ign.com/movies/video/article/960/960466/loveyouman_station_030909_flvlowwide.flv&allownetworking="all"' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' width='433' height='360' ></embed>

Ahh, finally. Now I understand the zip-lock bags over your shoes.

And then that will always turn into an awkward situation.

What movie is that? LOL must see

That's when it's time to abandon the old friends for new ones.

It's called "I love you, man".

LOL, I now picture Keg as a 50 year old man signing up for adult friend finder.

I had an account there once.

Really.

Been a few years. Don't see me going back.

I had mine for four years before he moved. Went to visit him when he was in Vegas last year. Not sure what we'll do this year.

Ya switched to horneymatches.com huhh?

Giving away your go to site huh?

I don't like being a dick, but I feel I have to.

Quit being such a ****ing pussy.

If any of us had some chick ready and willing we wouldn't be posting here.

For ****s sake man you are amateur.

What, you get paid?

Ah, no. I went through a phase post-divorce.

I actually went there initially because you could watch amateur girls on cam for free. It took a while before I dove into the conversation side of the equation.

Not something I'm exactly proud of.

I picture you sitting in front of your pc with open bags of chips and empty soda cans just staring occasionally yelling out "boobies!"

No, I just wanted to put a Christian Bale quote in there.

I don't know if you've ever seen my picture or not, I'm pretty sure you have. I know that If I, of all people, can get laid, then you can.

You need to just man up and do it man. If you don't use your tool soon its never gonna get any action, ever.

You are almost at the point of no return.

It was empty tv dinner trays, empty lotion bottles and empty kleenex boxes, and it was usually "damn, that's hot".

Well see ugly people can get laid but some ugly people haven't realized their "level" and always try to aim for chicks that will turn them down.....of course there are women like this too.

I once had a ok looking woman tell me all this shit she wanted in a guy and I busted up and said guys with all that shit get whatever chicks they want so I hope you enjoy your alone time.

Aim for the slightly overweight chicks, act like you care what they're saying, tell them how pretty they are. You'll be in like flint.

I sound like a total douchebag reading that back, but it's how the game is played. You're not going to land supermodels.

These last two broads have been in Clayton's wheelhouse, appearance wise.

There is just a little fine-tuning required in his game.

Yeah, just a little.

*cough*

I appreciate your encouragement. Especially since chicks like that are all I've ever wanted to bang. Plenty hot. Anything more and they're way too high maintenance.

But I'm definitely getting a blowjob next week from an 18-year old. So that's cool.

Really?

Where'd you meet him?

If you are getting head, then go down on her or slip her the fingers. You will be in like flint in no time.

So he's 126 in dog years, correct?

She's actually pretty cool. She's bi and tells me about her lesbian trysts. Like keg said, under 20, over 40. I think it was keg.

That was caudle.

Just like the two this thread was about were sure things and you just had to choose? Quit talking about it and do it!

I'd say mexi-milf is still a sure thing.

I guarantee you that you don't get that Blow Job.

You fat gay-for-LT mother****er....I see what you're trying to do. ROFL