Originally Posted by MotherLover (Post 7427293)

Well if you do have kids particularly a girl please inform us. That way we can get all our boys out of the school system.

Originally Posted by MotherLover (Post 7427272)

I've got a 14 year old and the rule on facebook is this. I must be a friend, you must not post anything that I can not see, if I find out that you do I make her delete the account. That being said I have caught some provocative pictures a couple of days ago and a 22 year old nigerian "friend" which I've stopped immediately. I have no illusions of total control and I'm sure she does post things that don't go through me but I've caught some and unless I want to monitor her internet activity 24/7 thats pretty much what I can hope for.

As far as the phone thing in the OP, she too has a phone. It too has been more of a hassle than anything else. I frequently check the charges as she has purchased outside ringtones in the past and blocked them and out of country text messages (the nigerian). She knows that her phone is open to inspection at any time and she also knows that sprint keeps a log of all pic messages sent. She also knows I am the only one who has access to add or delete those pictures.

My approach is to give her just enough rope to hang her self with. Hopefully she doesn't. If she puts herself into a bad position, I have enough controls to prevent it from becoming a catastrophe. This way, I feel, it can become a learning experience and not a tragedy.

Originally Posted by RedNFeisty (Post 7427322)

Kuddos, dad!! The key to any good relationship is communications. If the child knows the rules and the repercussions to breaking the rules, it turns out a little better.

Good luck with your daughter, I would have to lock her in a cell, if it were my daughter.

Granted, my son is going to be 10 in March, but we have great communication. My son and I are pretty close and talk about everything. We already discuss sex, it is everywhere, if he knows what happens now, maybe he will be less likely to be stupid on the subject. Plus, he knows he can talk to me about sex without feeling weird or ashamed.

Before giving me crap about my son being keen on the subject of sex, he is a big Family Guy and South Park fan (thanks to Dad), jokes have to be explained, once in a while my son hears...that joke will be best explained when your older, and he accepts that answer.

Originally Posted by Rams Fan (Post 7426728)

Take the phone away from her for 2 weeks and have her talk with her mother about how far she's been and her grinding on someone at a dance.

Originally Posted by R8ers (Post 7427327)

will you talk to me about sex? pretty please? :D

Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan (Post 7427369)

i have a 12 year old daughter and she sill thinks boys are gross. parenting superwin!

Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan (Post 7427369)

i have a 12 year old daughter and she sill thinks boys are gross. parenting superwin!

Originally Posted by R8ers (Post 7427372)

Give it a year and see how that superwin is working for ya.

Originally Posted by MotherLover (Post 7427373)

Yes at 12 my daughter thought boys were gross as well. Fast forward 2 years later and she's hormonally supercharged.


Premature win.

Originally Posted by wutamess (Post 7426720)

I know what to do with my younger ones because they're younger and I can discipline them pretty much at will but my 13 yo is at the age where she doesn't get spankings anymore.

So with her it's more punishments, etc. for the last 2 years or so.

Anyhow, reluctantly got her a phone for Xmas because of the wifes constant harping on the issue. I told wifey this is on her. So today I ask the daughter to clean the kitchen and empty out the dishwasher. After she left the kitchen I noticed eating utensils still in there. So I told her to clean it out. At that time, she had her phone in her hand.

I noticed she's been running to this phone a lot over the last couple of days. So she lays the phone down on the couch and I pick it up and go to my room to see what the "fun is all about".

When I initially gave her the phone, I told her not to call any boys, etc. I disabled text on the phone and web access but I knew kids act like prisoners and mind ways around everything.

So I went through her phone and she's been skyping a guy. Their conversation was basically useless until i saw that she must've been going out with the guy or something and she's trying to impress him to get his attention again but he doesn't seem interested anymore. Then she tells him about her cup size, how far she's been, etc.

Here's your answer Mr. Obvious next question: She's grinded on someone (while dancing at one of her previous schools dances). And she's french kissed someone. Haven't questioned her about it yet.

My question is... WTF do I do?

My initial gut feeling is to turn the phone off as I didn't really see a need for it anyways and it seems like more of a distraction/enabler more than anything. Besides, her friends all have cell phones if she needs to use one.

I'm more of a traditional raising parent. I think 13 is too young for a cell phone (NTTAWWT). I just think she needs one when she gets a car but not at the moment.

Don't really feel like looking dumb witty replies/smilies. Please keep it serious/mature for a moment before the shinanigans start..

Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan (Post 7427374)

i said she could go the social d concert the other nite and she didnt come back drunk or nothin

Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan (Post 7427375)

nah you guys just aint cool dads i guess

Originally Posted by MotherLover (Post 7427380)

My child can be my friend when she's an adult. Until then that's not my job.