Let's hope those orange jumpsuits have a lot of breathing room.

William Gibson, 50, allegedly exposed himself outside a Goodwill store in Jensen Beach, Fla., earlier this month, then claimed he was "airing out" his penis, T.C. Palm reported Friday.

Gibson allegedly first stuck his hand down his pants and smelled his fingers before dropping his drawers. Then, according to a witness statement obtained by T.C. Palm, "All of a sudden [Gibson] just pulled down the front of his underwear to expose his genitals, fluffing them."

A witness called sheriff's deputies, who say Gibson stated he was arrested merely for "airing out" his penis.

He was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition in the presence of the elderly.

This isn't the most outlandish excuse alleged flashers have given. In February, police officers said a man caught masturbating behind a convenience store told them he was only exposed because his pants had shrunk.

And last year, a man accused of masturbating in public decided to prove he was really just scratching a rash by whipping out his testicles to show the rash to cops. The craziest thing about this excuse was that it actually worked!

http://tinyurl.com/l29y8m5

A Florida woman is accused of stalking a duck before intentionally running it over with her car.

Karen Lindgren, 36, is charged with felony animal cruelty, Bay News 9 reports. A witness told police in Tarpon Springs that Lindren initially tried to give the duck candy. The duck wasn't interested, and Lindgren began following the bird around before eventually running it over in the driveway of homeowner Natalie Paraskevopoulos, who called police after finding the animal.

Paraskevopoulos told Bay News 9 that the bird was part of a familiar group of neighborhood ducks. “We raised them practically, ‘cause we’ve known them since they were ducklings," she said. "So, it was just really devastating because you become attached to these animals, almost like they’re your pets."

It's been one "fowl" news month. Last week, a woman was arrested after she was allegedly caught on tape kicking geese in the head at a park. And earlier this week, it was announced that the Thanksgiving turkeys "pardoned" by Obama are not long for this world.

:spock:

That's one way to put it.

This week in FL sex ed! ROFL

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2013...tally-children

In the 80's and sunny here sucks. Sure hate cutting grass and playing golf in December. Might have to go for a swim at the beach instead...

be sure in do all of the above naked. if you live in FL you are bat shit crazy.

And if you live in the land of sleet and snow you are _____________?

Snowing here again. Winter has not officially started. I am not happy

Shocking. A donkey fan posts something stupid.

**** this snow and cold. Cannot wait to get back to the warmth.

:)

**** that, I pay someone to mow the yard.;)

Lol.

I see what you did there.

What is wrong with this idiot?

http://www.today.com/news/swimming-c...val-2D11745905
Before his swim meet on Dec. 7 had even started, Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, decided he was not only going to compete in honor of his biggest rival, but also win the top trophy in the event and give it to him.

The Santa Claus Invitational marked the second straight meet where Zuchowski and his father checked the entry sheet and did not see the name of friendly rival Reese Branzell, 10, from Lake Lytle, Fla. Branzell had been hospitalized on Nov. 8 with a bacterial infection in his hip for nearly two weeks and was unable to compete.

http://media3.s-nbcnews.com/j/stream...top_medium.jpgFlorida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
“Josh got very emotional and he just said, 'Dad I feel horrible for him, is there something we can do?'’’ Josh’s father, Jonathan Zuchowski, told TODAY.com. “Then he said, 'I expect to win five gold medals in this meet, so what do you think if I swim for him and if I win the high point trophy, I'll give it to him?'

“He wrote the card he was going to give Reese before he even swam the race. The card said, 'I swam for you today, and I want to give you this trophy.’’’

Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Josh, who is from Jupiter, Fla., accomplished his goal of winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter in the meet.

When it was over, he gave the trophy to Reese’s swim coach with a card that read, "I am so sorry that you have not been feeling well. Get well soon. So we can get back to battling in the pool. I have looked up to you since I was seven. You were an inspiration for me wanting to swim fast. I would rather get second with you at the meet then win with you absent. I won this trophy for you today. I hope to see (you) back in the pool. Your friend, Josh.’’

The two have been swimming against one another for three years and often rank 1-2 at the meets where 9- and 10-year-olds compete in the same races. Reese has since been released from the hospital and has been on antibiotics for the infection. His family was blown away by the gesture.

“They said it was the single nicest act that anyone has ever done for him and his family,’’ Jonathan said. “For Reese, it helped lift his morale to think, ‘Here's my No. 1 competitor, and he's thinking about me.’ That made him feel that much better to get back into the pool and do what he loves.”

There were other swimmers on his team who didn’t understand why Josh would give a trophy he won to a competitor.

“He definitely has a big heart,’’ his father said.

“I can’t believe I’m getting all this attention for doing the right thing,’’ Josh told TODAY.com.

Though they plan to continue dueling in the pool in the coming years, the two have become closer friends since the trophy trade.

“I think the true significance of the trophy might be that it might be the most special win of his life," Josh's father said, "and he was doing it for someone else.’’