-.-. .-.. . ...- . .-.. .- -. -.. / .-.. .. -.- . -.. / .- ...- .. .- -. - . / -.-. --- .-.. .-.. .. -. ... / ..-. --- .-. / .... .. ... / -- --- -... .. .-.. .. - -.-- --..-- / .- -. -.. / .... . / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. / .. -- -- . -.. .. .- - . .-.. -.-- / -.-. --- -- .--. . - . / ..-. --- .-. / .- / ... - .- .-. - .. -. --. / .--- --- -... .-.-.-

ROFL

Thank you

Fish? Corn? What the **** kind of draft is this?

Man this round sucks for my teams I don't pick till end of sixth.

Don't forget the Taco

edit: **** everything - he's already drafted

Eat a dick, cachiefsfan....how the hell did I miss Davis going right after Kaaya? Dammit, I really really wanted that guy. ****ing outstanding prospect.

Stand by; I didn't even have anyone else on my board.

Now your draft pick is going to feel bad. But then, he'll already feel bad because he's a Bronco.

I'm all ****ing out of sorts now. I hate everybody. I don't even feel like re-looking so I'll just look at the guys I had on the 49ers board.

****ing Chad Wheeler, OT - USC. I had my choice between crazy or blind and I feel like crazy's a better fit for the NFL so I'll take that form of undraftable.

Goddammit **** shit.

Don't worry - he'll just load up on anti-depressants and chase them with anti-psychotics and we'll be fine. He's already got the scripts and everything.

I always confuse James A. Garfield and Grover Cleveland.

You have just severely exacerbated that problem.

The Dolphins were ready to put all their chips in on Fish Smithson, since that would have aligned pretty nicely with their team mascot.

However.

The Miami Dolphins select Conor McDermott, OT, UCLA.

They also initiate trade talks for Fish Smithson.

Chiefs are on the clock.

This is why I wasn't a huge fan of going S and CB in round 3. There's two really nice S and CB prospects still available.

That's not to say Boss isn't doing a really solid job overall though.

I'm at work, but I remember the 2-3 guys I had high on my value list.

Gimme a few to talk to my scouts and Andy before making the final decision.

The Chiefs select Mack Hollins, WR, North Carolina


This guy can flat out fly down the field right past defenders, like they're standing still. His combine 40 time was only 4.5 but that was because he pulled a muscle during his run.

Bye, Albert Wilson

Cleveland would now like to introduce a very special celebrity draft picker, and he's actually a player who is eligible for the draft right now. Sir, sir, would you come up here?

A large, hulking young man walks up to the stage.

https://s3media.247sports.com/Upload...4_4919855.jpeg

He steps to the microphone and adjusts it upward to better match his large frame.

"The Cleveland Browns entered the NFL draft process in 1950," he says. "If you exclude supplemental drafts and situations like the USFL liquidation draft, the Browns have officially drafted 999 players during those 67 years leading up to the selection of Mr. Collins a few minutes ago.

"I am here today to draft the 1,000th Cleveland Brown in the official NFL draft, and that player is me.

"With the 5-181 selection in the 2017 NFL Player Selection Process, the Cleveland Browns select their 1,000th drafted player. I am Ryan Glasgow, DT, Michigan."

Seriously, how cool of a coincidence is that? I happened to look it up, and this is the 1000th Cleveland Browns regular draft pick since 1950.

We've been upgrading nearly every position given our bounty of draft picks, so this one is a bit of a luxury. We like Glasgow and think he'll fit in along our line.

New England's celebrity draft pickers enter the room. It's two fellows, non-athletes. Who are they?

Roger Goodell nods to them and makes the introduction.

"Teams need loyal employees, employees who are willing to make any sacrifice to help their team. I present to you two employees of the Patriots who were willing to take any punishment necessary to support their team. Today's celebrity draft pickers are Locker Room Attendant Jim McNally and equipment assistant John Jastremski. Let's give them a big hand!"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YO5JIuAFBS...rs-cropped.jpg

McNally and Jastremski carry with them the envelope that contains the Patriots' draft pick. They carefully set it on the podium and force all of the air out of the envelope before opening it.

Speaking in unison, they announce the pick. "With the 5-183 pick of the 2017 NFL Annual Player Selection Process, the New England Patriots select Ifeadi Odenigbo, DE, Northwestern."

Their job done, they let out a big sigh, releasing a lot of pent-up air from their lungs.

Pick coming shortly.

Celebrity draft picker will arrive around 1 o'clock Central Time.

Sipe?

Still waiting for Lebron James to announce a pick

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I hope the pick is better than his punctuality.:)

I thought this celebrity draft picker was scheduled for 11pm eastern.

Maybe Rain meant am?

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

Too famous.

Not famous enough.

Wow. How did it get to be 3:20 Mountain Time already?

The celebrity draft picker's limo is pulling up.

Hang on. We can't get him out of the limo.

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Yes, our celebrity picker is Alan Ruck, the depressed but lovable costar of the classic movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Who better to lead Cleveland to the promised land than this long-suffering sidekick?

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Cameron morosely walks up to the stage, sniffs nervously, and announces the pick.

"With the 6-185 pick of the 2017 NFL Annual Player Selection process, the Cleveland Browns select William Likely, CB, Maryland. Now, I've got to get home."

Likely is quite diminutive, but we believe that we can put him in the slot on smaller receivers and upgrade our backfield with him in a specialized role.

FERRIS You killed the draft pick.
CAMERON Whoa. Holy s**t.
FERRIS Cameron, it’s my fault. I’ll take the heat for it. We’ll wait for sfeihc to come home and when he gets here, I’ll tell him it's his pick. He hates me anyway.
CAMERON No, I’ll take it.
FERRIS No. You don’t want this much heat.
CAMERON If I didn’t want it, I wouldn’t have let you take the draft pick this morning.
FERRIS I made you take the draft pick this morning.
CAMERON I could’ve stopped you. It is possible to stop Mr. Ferris Bueller, you know. No. I want it. I’m gonna take it. When sfeihc comes home, he and I will just have a little chat. It’s cool. No, it’s gonna be good. Thanks anyway. I'll just pm him and tell him it's his pick.

As Alan leaves the stage, we'll show this clip only because the blonde in the barmaid outfit is someone who, in another slightly different universe, is a woman who I would have had a torrid love affair with.

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The Baltimore Ravens select Deatrich Wise, Jr., DE, Arkansas.

Ozzie's work here is done in the 2017 Saccopoo Memorial CP Mock Draft and here is the Baltimore Ravens haul.

1)(16) Corey Davis, WR, WMU
2)(47) Charles Harris, DE/OLB, MIZZOU
3)(78) Dorian Johnson, OG, PITT
3)(99) ArDarius Stewart, WR, Alabama
4)(122) Taylor Orlosky, C, WVU
5)(159) Brian Hill, RB, Wyoming
6) (186) Deatrich Wise, Jr., DE, Arkansas

Davis and Stewart give Flacco a pair of WRs to complement Perriman. After losing Steve Smith and Kamar Aiken this off season multiple players were needed at the position.
Looking over the rest of the Ravens roster I soon realized Ozzie and his crew have been on a Super Bowl hangover for several years now. The roster lacks talent all along the OL and DL and edge rushers are in short supply as well. Having Charles Harris still OTB in the second was an easy pick to pair with Suggs and hopefully replace Elvis Dumerville.
The Ravens didn't pick the best year to go into the Draft with this poor of an OL. Johnson and Orlosky seem to have high enough floors that the Ravens should have a couple of new starters for their OL.
I don't think that Hill will still be around in the fifth round of the real NFL Draft. The Ravens backfield is thin so Hill or another draft pick has a chance to contribute early.
Wise looks like a solid 3-4 end in the making with a proper amount of NFL seasoning.

Fun times as always.

Your first two picks were fantastic and the rest of the draft was pretty solid.

With the 187th pick in the NFL draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars select, Michael Roberts, TE, Toledo

Cleveland's final celebrity draft picker is about to enter the room.

Our final draft picker is a true son of Cleveland. Born in the city, he grew up in Cleveland and played high school football and basketball. In the first of his Forrest Gump existence, he teamed with Heisman Trophy winner Desmond Howard in his high school days.

From there, he went on to a storied career in college, leaving with his school's all time records in pass attempts, passing completions, passing yards, and touchdowns.

He entered the NFL, fought for a starting battle with a future Hall of Famer, and was in enough demand that he was signed by another team as a free agent and fought off a future NFL MVP for the starting job. There, he was a 4,000 yard passer, pro bowl selection, and led one of the greatest last-minute victory drives in Monday Night Football history. Not only that, but he looked good doing it, being named the sexiest athlete alive at one point.

After a long and storied career, he retired and returned to Cleveland, where he is currently the assistant coach for quarterbacks at a local high school.

You know him, you love him, and the Browns are proud to introduce our hometown boy, ELVIS GRBAC!

http://cdn3.sbnation.com/imported_as...16-750-941.jpg

Elvis steps to the stage, scans the crowd, and immediately calls a time out. After going to the side of the stage, he is informed that he has no timeouts, so he returns.

"With the 6-188 pick in the 2017 NFL Annual Player Selection Process, the Cleveland Garfields select Travis Rudolph, WR, Florida State."

In the audience, Marty Schottenheimer is heard to approve.

With that selection, Cleveland packs up their stuff and goes home. With a bounty of 11 draft picks, Cleveland made at least one pick to bolster every position group other than special teams.

01. Myles Garrett, DE, Texas A&M
12. Mitchell Trubisky, QB, UNC
33. Budda Baker, FS, Washington
52. Pat Elflein, C, Ohio State
65. Ryan Anderson, OLB, Alabama
108. Samaje Perine, RB, Oklahoma
145. Jeremy Sprinkle, TE, Arkansas
175. Aviante Collins, OT, TCU
181. Ryan Glasgow, DT, Michigan
185. William Likely, CB, Maryland
188. Travis Rudolph, WR, Florida State

Was surprised Grbac could read the card.

You don't need mental skills when you're the sexiest athlete alive.

Incredible amount of talent in this draft class for Cleveland. Sam Rutigliano would be proud. The Browns will still find a way to screw up having 11 picks in this draft.

Wow all 11 picks from Power 5 schools

Whether it's my picks or their own, I could see Cleveland ending up with 5 or 6 opening-day starters from this draft.

For the most part, I tried to make my picks safe and conservative, figuring the odds would bring success with that many picks.

Across my two teams, I have one player that wasn't ACC or SEC so far, and he's big XII. so I'm right thee with you actually.

Hope he didn't write the card too, you know he can write and read the card.

La rams select Corey Clement, RB Wisconsin

Someone pm kccrow for me? Thanks

Sunday morning condensation.:)

Done

Yes I'm wet

And down goes Sfeihc!

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The Los Angeles Cracker Jacks select Hunter Dimick, DE, Utah

Dirty shame that you can lead the PAC-12 in sacks and tfl and go in round 6. Not to mention running a 4.69 and putting up 38 reps in the bench press at your pro day isn't enough to quiet critics... We'll take him and use him on 3rd down's initially to wreck the LOS in Gus Bradley's shiny new defense.

Jfc crow.

You should be charged with theft

Can someone PM CleSteve for me please

Son of a bitch. That's a great pick and a really nice sleeper.

With the 192nd pick in the 2016 CP Mock Draft,

The Carolina Panthers select Jordan Evans, Linebacker, Oklahoma

http://image.cdnllnwnl.xosnetwork.co...1011180353.jpg

The Panthers are quietly facing quite a bit of uncertainty at the linebacker position this offseason, as Luke Kuechly is coming off of season-ending concussions, Thomas Davis (despite a stellar 2016) is getting up there in years, and top backup AJ Klein left for big money. Shaq Thompson should be a fixture for years in Carolina Blue and Black, but it's time to start thinking about the cast around him. Jordan Evans is a supremely athletic linebacker with 40 times in the low 4.5s and a vertical jump topping 38" and it shows in his play. He racked up almost 100 tackles this year for the Sooners to go along with four interceptions. Evans sometimes struggles to get off of blocks, but the Panthers' scheme thrives on the big men up front keeping their playmaking linebackers clean. Evans has a shot to build himself a backup role early with long term starter potential.

The Philidelphia Eagles select Nathan Gerry, S, Nebraska

In three years of play at Nebraska, he gave up a completion percentage of just 51.5 percent and picked off 13 passes

CleveSteve, if you've been wondering how you can be less annoying, I have a great suggestion for you.

Just give us the position abbreviation, please. You don't have to spell out "linebacker" or "running back." Yes, it's a simple fix, but the point is you're making us do it every time you pick. In total, you're wasting probably 30 seconds of my life by doing that unnecessarily. That's 30 seconds I could spend yelling at TigerUppercut or some other enjoyable activity.

Great athlete but takes Greg Wesley angles to the ball carrier

NP, TY.

Personally, I kind of liked it. I would read it as LINE-BACK-ER and it added more drama to the pick.

I was definitely going for a more theatrical presentation, but I guess just like the real draft, by the sixth round most people just want to read the names scrolling across the screen.