It was a joke; I love Jenny......

"Run, Jenny, Run!"

Dr. I:

The "Dog" has decided that upon approaching his 50th birthday next year, that he would make this year his "farewell salute" to his slow-pitch softball playing days. Faced with the dismal performance last year, (after a Barry Bond's-style comeback attempt) I decided to lose a number of pounds over the winter to get back to correct playing weight.

After succeeding in losing 50 lbs, I have now embarked on a thus far successful (3 games) and triumphant return to the diamond. The hitting stroke is back and my pitching stats are Cy Young-like.

My questions are:

1) Seeing as to how this is my final season and I don't want to disappoint my loyal fans, should I sign autographs before or after the game?

2) Is it considered "grand-standing" for me to take a slower than normal trot around the bases when I hit one out of the park, so that my adoring fans can properly salute my career accomplishments?

My many fans have been very loyal, and I would hate to disappoint them by depriving them of properly showing their respect to me and my humble service to slow-pitch softball. I am in a bit of a quandry because there is a fine line here between humility and show-boating....I do have a reputation to keep you know.

I await your response.....

mmad "Al Bundy" dog

Got any birds? That was simple :)

PhilFree:arrow:

Do you do contract work?

mmaddog
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Dear Iowanian,
I am graduating from college tomorrow with nothing to show for it but a degree in elementary education. I have no jobs lined up for the up-coming school year. It looks like I'll have to move back in with my parents for lack of money. The only thing in the world that will fill my heart with joy is to be able to go to Chiefs games next season. Alas, I have no job, no money, and no takers on my "deal of a lifetime" to accompany me to the games.
Should I take the job in western Kansas that will leave me miles away from my family and Arrowhead or should I hold out for the other three school districts that are closer to KC and my family but haven't gotten back to me, and probably won't until the last minute if at all?

Dr. I......

You're slipping.....am I going to have to reverse the charges on my credit card that your office managed to put on there?

mmaddog
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Thats crazy. Teaching jobs around here are usually abundant.

Hold out for the districts you wish to get into. Worse case scenario is, you Substitute in one of those (or all of those) districts next year; network, get your foot in the door...you'll get a job next year for sure.

Best case scenario, this summer or a last minute resignation by a teacher currently employed by the district....will open a spot for you before the year begins. Depending on the specific districts you are talking about, I'd be willing to bet you'd have a job before the year starts....2:1 odds you'll get something before the beginning of September.

Congrats on laying off the corn dogs this winter, slim.

I think if you sign autographs it should be after the game. Preparing for such a physically exerting activity like slow pitch softball, should consume your mental preparation pre-game. A man of your advanced youth should probably be stretching your hammies anyway.

At your age, people will just assume you're Fiddy if trotting slowly. If you're skipping and doing your Pearl thumb-gun Shooter McGavin after a Tater, you're grandstanding, and should probably expect to get Spiked the next time you're covering 3rd when I slide in for that stretched triple.

I've got 2 birds. You should keep any eye open for them the next time you cut me off in traffic.

You have to decide whats more important. I'd remind you that if you sign a contract for the year in Western KS, you're stuck in feedlotville for the duration, even if you get homesick.

Getting a job under your belt and some experience will surely make future job searches easier. If being closer to KC is important to you, I'd hold out, keep pumping out resume's and consider trying to get on somewhere in a district closeby as a fulltime Substitute if nothing else.
The School year is a ways off yet, and I don't think I'd personally be nervous until July.

You can always fall back on that whole Tubgirl website you've been so successful with in the past.

It IS the offseason, and pretty slow. In effort to keep me sharp for the arrival of training camp, and the trolls that will challenge for my throne....I challenge you to keep me sharp.

No silly assed questions that gochiefs could handle....Search your mind and if you can come up with something that will challenge the Iowanian's creativity....lay it down. If its worthy...I'll pound it.

How long does it take to get to Australia in a row-boat?

P.S. Will there be like, sharks or pirates and stuff?

Dinny

And one more thing, I don't think I'd have any problem with the pygmies, I'll probably blend right in.

Dinny

That KCChiefsman is really starting to irritate me. What should I do to him?