Not following you here. What's unrealistic?

I'm saying that a woman's sense of self-worth should have nothing to do with a man, and that should be the message. I don't think it's being sent very strongly, either.

My opinion. Others are, of course, welcome to disagree.

..is there a name for female deadbeat dads?

please don't downplay the revocation the man card of men who don't provide for their family..it screams loser.

sounds like Oprah..;)

I'd venture to say that a woman's self worth has alot to do with a man...namely her father...and later her husband...women seek love.

ive had one steady woman cheat on me and i gave her every reason in the world. lol.

I am not sure how old you are but from where I'm sitting (44) men do not get a pass for failing at fathers. MOF, they have the burden of being good at their jobs AND being good at home.

Women must be good at home and it's a plus if she's good at her job. There is not the social stigma of a woman failing to provide for her family the way there is for men.

Agree with the father part.

Did you not see my discussion of tits and ass? :clap:

30. And I know plenty of young men in a culture of "it's my baby's mamma's problem."

I'd guess your older generation is more home and hearthy. The younger generation thinks there's other things to do. And the more we encourage the fact that a young woman can do anything and everything independently, the more she's going to be asked to do so.

I don't know about that at all. I think there is alot less social stigma on a man sucking as a father than a women sucking as a mother.

Women who find affirmation from the outside and equate that affirmation with love do, I agree with you there.

Ultimately, it's up to a woman (and a man) to find that they have to find their validation from within and whatever comes from the outside only seeks to REINFORCE what you believe and NOT define it for you.

Some of us women figure this out early in life but most us take a good portion of our lives to get there.

I agree with that. My disagreement was with the notion that a man can suck as a father as long as he's good at his job. I disagree with that. These days the male figure has the responsibility to be the primary breadwinner AND an equal partner in the household.

As such, their burden has shifted along with women's.

Well, I'm sorry MOST men younger than 30 do not know WTF is going on in their lives let alone how to care for a wife and child in the way they will 10 or 20 years down the road. That's what the 20s is for. That is why I think it's important for men (and women) to wait until their late 20s to start families or even get married.

And the notion that women can have it all is really fiction. The notion that ANY person can have it all is fiction. Somewhere along the line there are crossroads and sacrifices are made. The key is being able to live with the choices made based on those sacrifices.

I think that is ultimately the idea of having it all. Looking back on your choices and feeling you made the right ones and the sacrifices you chose were not in vain.

Ok I agree with that.

I went back and re-read your post I mis-read it because you were talking about men providing for their family.

A lot of men are having trouble being husbands and fathers NOW because their parents didn't give them a good example a decade or two ago.


The product of a baby-mama, bad divorce, or 2 mom's isn't going to KNOW how to be a good father/husband without some positive example in front of them, with rare exceptions.

same for men...

I confront a cheater by cheating myself. If she finds out about it **** it who cares?