Dude she would like to strangle him..he's a giant piece of shit to her all the time.

She could literally say "it's nice today" and he's go into a 10 minute diatribe about how stupid she is for thinking that. And then act like she not allowed an opinion...yet if he's ever spoken to about anything important unless you're patting his ass he goes into the "don't yell at me" shit when no one's yelling and throws a pity party..

To be fair also he's super manipulative and a therapist told me he's at best borderline sociopathic.

So he doesn’t have a job
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Unless it involves some type of real criminal behavior, and I'm not talking about pot smoking or underage drinking, I don't see many great outcomes to kicking out the kid. Does he has somewhere to go or a means to have somewhere to go?

Doubtful he would learn any real life lesson other than to be able to learn how to identify an asshole.

Nope, he goes through them like butter cause he won't get up. I got him a job making 17 an hour with lots of OT available lasted 2 weeks...

Yet he has bills, he's maxed credit cards, won't liscense his car, is driving with no insurance.

I think it's time for both of them to go.

military school

The day I got the 100 dollar bill for his cancelled car insurance and I said this has my name on it..and he literally shrugged and said oh well and walked away shit vastly changed.

Mom might be right
You’re a good man though
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Why did he have car insurance in your name? Did you allow that to happen?

It’s going to be tough if you’ve let him get away with this so far.

Plus even if you tell him to leave….is he going to? He’ll just call your bluff.

My sister did it twice.

She’s also a shitbag. And obviously no longer married to either kids dad. If the kid is an adult, sure. Fire away. From her experience I’d say get involved with the kid before their behavior is so bad that you’re willing to kick them out.

Also if you’re going to do it you need to come to terms with the reality you’ll be facing. It is a very difficult path emotionally. And you (and the wife) have to be prepared to deal with those emotions without letting it impact the situation with that kid or any of your other kids. It’s tough. Also pretty good chance the kid is going to hate you. Especially if they don’t want to do it. If it’s me, my message is I love you but this has to happen. But this is going to suck in a big way.

If it’s me I lay out clear boundaries with incentives and punishments. Then I try to get at what their real problem is. Most kids behavior problems are them Lashing out about something else. I’d probably fail because I’m shit at emotional stuff. But I could implement a performance improvement plan as good as anybody.

Good luck. I don’t envy you.

When he was 16 we basically had to be on it because we lived in the same house...were not in it now cause I wanted remove yet the agent was like the company knows your his parent so you get that bill.

It's bullshit.

You might want to check with an attorney. As crazy as things are today, it wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't have some sort of tenant rights and you'd have to give him legal notice or some such shit.

Also, how do you think he'd react? Do you think he might be dangerous?

Secretly call multiple military recruiters and give them all of you stepson’s contact info. Wait. Hope. Dreams do come true.

Oh. Well that’s a much different conversation.

If you want to stay this is what will happen. If not you have 5 days. I love you but this is how it’s going to be.