Wrong thread, you lost lamb.

Since when are you kindly OR a gentleman?

Eat an entire bag of that sugar free chocolate candy, or a half gallon of Brahms sugar free ice cream. Then eat at McDonalds. That will get ya goin. :D

The epic battle of narcotics vs laxatives has been taken to a new level this morning. 24oz of prune juice followed by coffee. Early reports from scouts indicate a great deal of noise and motion in the enemy camp - it could mean the enemy is going to break camp and run for it! We hope it's a quick and efficient orderly march, rather than the sort of emergency retreat these shock troops are known to effect. Just in case we have a wide open exit strategy complete with books, magazines, matches, and even some dainty flower embroidered hand towels.

Hey, what's better than a poop thread on Monday morning.

You are supposed to take that stuff with beer! The added fiber from the barely will keep you regular.

Did you watch Trainspotting yet dude?

That's a true statment, my frat brother Yak told me.

Also, not only are you supposed to take them with beer but unlike it says on the directions, you're supposed to crush them up and snort them.

I still have his number if you need any more advice.

wheaties...but i doubt if you get any real relief until youre off the stuff for aday or two.

Metamucil man.

It will change your life.

...Just what the Dr. ordered. :D

Oh really??

So what did you do with the cock that turned you on?

Goddamn freeways are a gold mine, just stand on the side of the road and bounce a superball across traffic, then tell your kids whoever brings it back gets a free ice cream cone. Juries are suckers for 3 year olds with treadmarks.

3 days...I've went a week and a half.

Lots of ways for me and I take 30mg of the stuff twice a day along with perc's since Turkey Day '03.

Starbucks.
A trip thru the drive thru at Taco Bell, for the simple fact I gorge myself there.
Any normal amount of grease, fries and a burger at Mickey D's.
Double up your fists at belly level and double over them while sitting on your throne. Or any kind of prolonged pressure on your tummy.

I'm paralyzed so I can't even push, not uncommon to see stars after trying too hard. Not good.
I don't recommend suppositories.

I hope you get to feeling better!

woo woo - Elvis has left the building. And there was more than just a passing semblance to Elvis Grbac at that. I believe I even channeled the slack jawed post interception deer in the headlights look.

whew :D

Too much information, dude.