that's some strange shit.

I'm with the OP. I eat a wide, wide variety of food, and I rarely get the squirts. Maybe a little soft sometimes, but true colon blow runs only hit me if I've got a stomach virus or food poisoning.

Get your gall bladder removed.

Some days, you can get the scours from too much butter on toast.

Since I'm lactose intolerant I'll get the runs if I don't take medicine with dairy.

The other time I seem to get it is if I've been eating healthier for a while and then eat a greasy meal or go from eating a lot of crappy foods to healthy foods. I usually get back on track fairly quickly.

I used to be like that until I stopped eating gluten (wheat, barley or rye).