Dude...what the hell? Now what am I supposed to do for the Broncos?

*two silenced gunshots, followed by the crumpling of a body*

Well, now that we've taken care of that Conchiglie eating mother****er, I can actually get back to the draft board. Unfortunately, I can't unload Sloppy Seconds in this draft to Tampa or Denver, but rest assured, I'd love to do so.

The golden rule of the NFL draft is that you can't pass on a potential franchise QB if you don't have one. Kansas City doesn't have one. So, with that being said,

The Kansas City Chiefs select Mark Sanchez, QB, University of <del>big titted coeds</del> Southern California.

Sanchez can sit behind Sloppy for a year to get used to the speed of the game. And since we still own his rights through 2010 (barring the expiration of the CBA), we can unload the sumbitch to a team in desperate need of a quarterback.

The Seahags are on the clock.

In all honesty that is the move Pioli and company should make. QB's are the golden ticket to get whatever you want.

So... the Chiefs traded for a franchise QB and drafted another in a span of a single weekend?

Really? We used our first two picks on QBs?

Is that not the ****ing craziest thing you've ever heard?

I guess reality has gone out the window for this mock already.

No, the Chiefs brass traded for a QB, said brass was shot in the head, and the new brass drafted a franchise QB.

What's the probability of this pick actually coming to fruition? At best, I'd put it as < 3%.

Edit: Better with Hamas's execution rationale.

Right.

Because, if Hamas were even to assassinate the brass as of now, there is NO WAY he'd make that selection in reality.

He just derided the move to 3-4 for killing Dorsey's usefulness. This is the same thing.

Our first pick is a QB.

Our second pick brought in a QB.

We may have the milkman of the 2009 Draft.

It's still a better pick than Aaron Curry or an OT.

With the 4th pick in the 2009 Mock Draft, the Seattle Seahawks select.....

Eugene Monroe, OT, University of Virginia

Not a flashy pick, but this move makes the most sense. Monroe can combine with future HOF tackle Walter Jones to form bookends on Seattle's line in hopes of eeking out another year or two of decent production from Hasselbeck. With the eventual addition of Housh at WR, Seattle could have a decent offense this year.

I forgot I lived in a vacuum where you can't trade quarterbacks.

It's nearly impossible, IMO, because Pioli's ego wouldn't let it happen if he actually thinks Cassel is a franchise QB.

Drafting Sanchez implies that you don't think Cassel is a franchise QB, and is just holding down the fort until Sanchez is ready.

However, if we don't renegotiate a long-term deal with Cassel before the draft, I'd think the odds of us taking a QB skyrocket.

We all knew they were going to get a veteran backup. If we don't sign him long-term, it would appear that he IS that backup.

The Browns are on the clock.

This will not end well.